Chapter 23

Author's Note: Thank you guys for being so FREAKIN PATIENT! I love you all! Enjoy this extreme, and I mean EXTREME Kyman fluff. WARNING- Attempted suicide. May disturb some readers.

I hope it was worth the wait you guys :3 Let me know!

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**KYLE'S P.O.V**

I knew I wasn't in my right mind, and I knew it too. I fought against him, my chest heaving and broken cries of frustration and fury tearing from my lips.

"LET GO OF ME!" I cried, struggling against his grip as though his very touch was torturing my soul. "FUCKING GET OFF GET OFF JUST GET THE FUCK OFF!"

Cartman fell to his knees as he held me close, his grip unrelenting and restricting. I don't know for how long I fought against it, kicking and screaming as tears leaked down my cheeks. He was as still and stubborn as a brick wall, his arms holding me close and slowly dragging me from the edge of the cliff.

"CARTMAN PLEASE JUST LET ME GO!" I begged at the top of my lungs, my throat raw from the desperation of my anguished pleading. I clawed at his powerful arms, sobbing. "PLEASE STOP FUCKING STOP L-LET ME GO!"

"I can't…" he spoke in a strained voice, his lips at my ear.

"YES YOU CAN! JUST LET ME FUCKING DIE!"

"No."

"CARTMAN I WANT TO! I WANT TO! LET ME GO I FUCKING WANT TO DIE GOD DAMN IT!"

"I don't care what you want."

"FUCK YOU!" I snarled and flailed sending us both to the drenched and muddy ground as the rain poured and thunder reverberated through the clouds. "I FUCKING HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!"

"I know." He spoke calmly and tightened his grip around me, the breath leaving my lungs. He held me to him no matter how much I struggled and in that moment I realized he wasn't going to let me go. This was yet another battle I couldn't win.

I threw my head back and screamed with everything I had left in me, all the rage and anger washing over me as the rain hit the both of us. I had no energy left in me to fight or scream. The pain was so horrible, everything so loud. I trembled in his arms, my body going limp. His embrace turned into a softer one as I felt him turn my body around. Somehow my face ended up in his chest and my arms wrapped around him, fingers clawing at his back.

I choked and sobbed into the soaked jacket, my body heaving with emotion and pain. I wanted it to be over. I wanted ALL of it to be over. Couldn't he see that?! It was the one thing no one was going to be able to take away from me and he fucking stole it! He was forcing me to live! And I had nothing to live for!

Cartman pulled me closer to him as he backed up only to lean his back up against the tree behind us. His arms were strong against me when I tried to pull back.

"No." He said firmly, and slammed my face right back into his chest. I tried to protest, but it was pointless. My body was just so worn and my sobs so sporadic that I automatically gave into him this time. I could hear his heartbeat against my ear and I squeezed my eyes shut trying to concentrate on that and that alone.

The minutes passed like that, though they felt like hours to me, and I stayed like that against him as the rain only seemed to fall harder with each lingering second. Slowly his breath came in and out again moving my body with each inhale and exhale. The hysteria started to make its way out of my body and realization quickly washed over me. My eyes opened about halfway and I stared out past the edge of the cliff, lightening streaking across the sky.

I just tried to kill myself.

I lifted my head to look at Cartman's face. He was staring straight ahead wordlessly. His expression was almost unreadable. And yet… there was a relief in his eyes. A calmness I couldn't possibly comprehend. His head tilted slightly and my breath hitched in my aching throat when his chocolate eyes met mine.

They were soft and another flash of lightning reflected in them as his hold on me loosened. I knew I could break away from him, but I had no urge to. In fact, I think it might have hurt worse than any of the pain I'd felt if I did. Thunder clashed and vibrated through the ground louder than anything I ever heard, and for some reason it scared me enough in that moment to whimper and cover my ears while squeezing my eyes shut.

I felt his hands on my trembling wrists as he gently forced me to lower my arms, freeing my ears. I didn't dare open my eyes, for what reason I did not know. I just couldn't in that moment.

Even as I felt his touch leave my skin and something foreign placed over my head, I didn't open my eyes. I guess I didn't want to see anything else like the lightning or hear that deafening thunder. I just wanted to block out the sound of the rain.

It was when music blasted in my ears that my eyes were finally able to open. I was kind of confused at first, but then I realized there were headphones over my ears. Cartman shifted my position as an eerily familiar instrumental claimed all of my attention, and I didn't even mind it when he sat me next to him and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I let him pull me in and rested my cheek over his chest under his arm.

I couldn't help but sigh in relief at the distraction. The music was so loud it was able to block out all the noise of the storm around me. I stared up at him, wanting to say so many things.

I wanted to apologize for screaming at him.

I wanted to thank him for stopping me.

I wanted to ask him why he stopped me.

I wanted to convince him he shouldn't have stopped me.

Instead I closed my eyes and laid back into his damp warmth. The music carried my mind away and I imagined I was somewhere else and happy and free. The music swelled and I listened, actually trying to concentrate on what the song actually was.

'I'll give you everything I can… I'll build your dreams with these two hands…We'll hang some memories on the walls…'

My brows furrowed, the melody suddenly very familiar to me.

'And when… Just the two of us are there… You won't have to ask if I still care… Cause as the time turns the page, my love won't age at all…'

My eyes shot open and my heart started thumping violently in my chest. No. No friggin way. It wasn't…?

'And I swear…'

It was.

'By the moon and the stars in the skies…'

He was playing this song on purpose.

'I'll be there…'

My mouth sort of hung open slightly and a warmth burned my cheeks as I was brought back to that basketball game years ago…

'I swear like the shadow that's by your side… I'll be there…'

I chewed on my lip not really knowing how to process this. A smile threatened my lips but at the same time, an extreme irritation fought against it. I slowly turned my head to him and couldn't help but glare at him and he wasn't even looking at me. He was staring straight ahead with a smug grin on his face.

Just… really?

'For better or worse, 'Til death do us part, I'll love you with every beat of my heart… And I swear…'

God damn it.

Somehow, as stupid as it was, I knew he was trying to talk to me through this stupid gay ass song. I knew the words and at the same time, it was like I was hearing them for the first time.

As the music swelled he finally turned his head to look at me and both of our expressions instantly changed. The way he was looking at me made my stomach flutter and I felt like nothing else mattered. At all. The air between us felt electric, and I was being pulled in like a fucking magnet. My heart throbbed painfully against my chest, encouraging me to get closer and closer.

Our lips met.

The headphones slid off my head, forgotten even as the music could be heard faintly resting on my shoulders. I exhaled against his lips and used all the strength I had left to prop myself up and wrap my arms around his neck. Cartman moved his hands to my waist and pulled me back into his lap as I deepened the kiss.

I needed this… I needed HIM so desperately…

And he knew it.

His lips caressed mine in such a soft and gentle way that I couldn't help but melt into his arms. They cradled my body as he kissed me, smoothing over the damp shirt on my back and making my whole body shiver with warmth. He pulled his arm away and unzipped his jacket, shedding it while somehow keeping a hold on me AND maintaining our ongoing kiss.

I pulled away only when it became too much of an effort to hold my head up. I closed my eyes and rested it on his shoulder as he carefully lifted me up and stood. I couldn't resist even if I wanted to. I opened my eyes halfway and stared back at him while he wrapped his jacket around my body. I didn't even realize how cold I was.

It didn't matter now. Nothing mattered now.

Except Eric.

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**CARTMAN'S P.O.V**

He was very easy to lift. I knew he wouldn't be able to walk, so I was more than able to carry him in my arms. I'd done it a few times before in the past.

The rain fell around us both, but I did my best to shield him from it by hovering my head and neck over his body as I started the cautious decent down the cliff. I was more than content with Kyle dosing off against my chest. That was much better than screaming like a maniac and trying to hurl himself off a fucking cliff.

I blinked a few times, wanting to free my mind of that painful image. It took everything in me to be strong while seeing Kyle like that. It didn't physically hurt to hold him down, but the emotional trauma alone was so agonizing. To see Kyle go through all of that fucking bullshit and then break down the way he did. I can't say I was surprised, in fact, I'd seen it coming for a few days. The jew could only handle so much before snapping in two, but I was NOT going to let him break.

I don't really know how I was able to stay so calm. I just kept telling myself that he wasn't dead yet. I was so fucking afraid. I glanced down at Kyle's face as I was halfway down the cliff and felt my heart skip a beat.

If I was a few seconds later…

I shuddered and shook my head. No. I needed to focus on getting Kyle back to my house and out of this fucking mess of a storm. This wasn't the time to scare myself with what ifs.

I finally managed to get back to the pond. Climbing that cliff was a feat in itself, but, to climb back down with someone else in my arms? THAT was fucking badass.

I smiled, proud of myself. I was basically a badass, wasn't I? I got revenge, saved someone's life, and climbed up and down a really fucking tall cliff ALL in one day. Kick ass.

I headed out of Stark's Pond, knowing I wouldn't be going back there for a good while. My hold on Kyle tightened ever so slightly as I turned and took a short cut around town. No one needed to fucking see this. They wouldn't mind their own business and the last thing they needed was to bump into 'concerned acquaintances'.

Kyle did NOT need that shit. Not now.

I was in mega turbo ultra-protective mode, and I was not coming out of it anytime soon. If anyone found out what Kyle just tried to do, then he'd be locked up just like his mother. That wouldn't help him it would just pull him down further, and I was having none of that fucking bullshit.

I headed down the road and felt Kyle's hand weakly tug on my soaked shirt. I glanced down and couldn't help but smile softly at him. His eyes were shut and he was breathing deeply, completely tuckered out. He was probably fighting to stay awake, but was obviously barely conscious. Yet somehow he looked more peaceful than he had in weeks.

I knew I was close to home and headed up the alley and through the fence. The streets were very empty over the other side and I slipped into my backyard. I fished the backdoor key out of my jacket pocket on Kyle's side and turned it in the lock while skillfully balancing Kyle in one arm. He really was light as a fucking feather.

Once inside I dropped the keys on the counter and shut the door behind me. My mom got up from the couch and headed over quietly, eyes full of concern. I pointed upstairs and she nodded going up ahead of me to get the door so I wouldn't have to.

I nodded to her in thanks and carried Kyle into my room. She got my warm and furry blue robe from the bathroom door and laid it out on the end of the bed before going back downstairs to call Mr. Broflovski. I gently eased Kyle on my bed and he stirred, his eyes opening with slight confusion.

"…Cartman…?" he rasped shivering, his lips a light blue. I helped him sit up, eased him out of my jacket, and pulled his soaked shirt over his head gently.

"Don't make it weird Jew." I joked and shot him a warm gaze as I stripped him of his wet clothing. He said nothing in response, but a very weak smile spread over his face. I was actually glad he didn't try to speak again. The Jew was a really loud fucking screamer when he wanted to be, and he most definitely blew out his voice for a couple of days. I pulled off his pants and shoes, draping my robe over his body and making sure it wrapped around him well.

Our eyes met and his were full of gratefulness and exhaustion. I cupped his cheek with my hand and eased him down to the pillow, sliding my thumb over the skin under his eye in a loving caress.

My phone rang and I moved away from Kyle to pick it up.

"Is he okay?" Kenny asked.

"Yeah. Spread the word." I replied and hung up. Kyle chuckled and I looked over to him. "What's so funny?"

"Hnnothing…" Kyle laughed breathily. "You're just so rude."

I couldn't help the smile that engulfed my lips.

"Fuck you Jew." I said quietly and started to shed my own damp clothing, reaching for my pajamas and changing quickly. Kyle watched tiredly and chuckled again.

"Fatass…" he grumbled in his worn out voice. I pulled on my pants and finished buttoning up my night shirt before walking over and kneeling beside him.

"You want food or something?" I asked placing my hand on his idly. Kyle shook his head, eyes drooping.

"N-no… M'tired…" he mumbled. I nodded.

"I know. Get some sleep." I replied and started for the door, when I felt Kyle's hand wrap around my wrist and pull me back weakly.

"W-where are you going?" he asked in a higher pitched voice. I froze, looked back, and my heart almost broke. His eyes were big, glassy, pleading watery emeralds. His grip was weak, but trembled with effort around my skin and I looked down at it, only to look back up.

"I was gonna sleep on the couch… thought you'd want your space." I said honestly and he sat up a little trying to pull me over. I let him and kneeled beside my bed once more.

"Don't…" he whispered biting his lip and a tear trailing down his cheek. "I-I was wrong before so… so wrong."

I reached over with my free hand and wiped away the tear from his cheek, caressing his skin with my thumb in the same way.

"Tell me what you want me to do, Kyle." I breathed.

"…S-Stay… P… Please Cartman?" he pleaded, shivering under my hand. My thumb grazed against his lips and he closed his eyes as if savoring the gentle touch. His lips parted under my finger as I leaned down and gently pressed my lips to his.

He exhaled into the kiss similarly to before and a warmth made its way down my spine as he kissed me back, his arms finding my neck again. I climbed into bed with him and grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around the two of us. Coincidentally it was the same blanket Kyle had given me years ago. When our lips parted, Kyle's head instantly rested over my heart and his eyes drooped, fluttering shut. His arm rested across my chest and he took a deep breath.

"You kept it…" he whispered before falling asleep in my arms. I cradled him to me and rested my head in his crazy jewfro. I didn't realize how tired I was myself, how exhausted my body had become throughout the long and draining day.

Kyle's quiet snoring comforted me in a way he could never know. The sound of it was not just cute, but it meant he was alive. Those calm breaths were what slowly lulled me to sleep.

It was the best sound in the fucking world.