HIIIIII GUYYYYSSSSSSS!

I am super really omg excited about this story. It's got ADVENTURE and ROMANCE and THINGS in store. Next chapter will be super intense. And then all the chapters following. This was necessary fluff. Please review and stuff, you know, tell me if you hate or if you like it. All the good stuff.

I was bored for once, after having been sent around the city about fifty different times to clean up various spats between commoners, magicians and minor spirits. The employ of spirits had become a powerful democratic tool to kitty, particularly since I did her bidding of my own free will. The lack of restraints and obvious trust between us had begun to quell the doubts in commoners minds about their perceptions of magicians, but it wouldn't be enough to convince other spirits to do the same. I was supposed to be hatching a plan for that, but I had taken up a new habit instead: drinking. The old stuff hadn't been my gig for nearly a thousand years, not since Ptolemy, but between the safety of London from powerful magicians and Kittys use of persuasion rather than bonds, I felt the occasion to let my inhibitions down again. I had just returned from a morning run to the west side of London, where two imps had been causing a shopkeeper grievance. It had been difficult deciding whether I wanted to whirl them around a bit and send them to the other side of the Thames, or pull their nasty hairs out before punting them, but I decided on a mild stinging hex. The two had leapt off, howling in discomfort while I had watched. So far it had been a satisfactory day. Kitty was running around on the phone, surrounded, as usual, by a horde of eager young assistants, all being molded into the political candidates that would form a democratic government, should they succeed. Kitty aura waned a little from the stress and sleepless nights, but it still shone brighter than that of any other in the city. I fell into step with her as she marched over to the campaign office across the building. They had decided to set up shop in Nathaniels old home, and it served quite nicely. The austere walls while gloomy and too immaculate for comfortable living (save old Natty boy, of course,) made excellent offices. The bedrooms and offices converted nicely, while the dining room was…well, it was a nightmare. Phones were placed on the main table, papers were scattered everywhere and a few pitiful attempts to set up desks had been made, but the feng shui was completely off, no matter what way they rearranged the room. Rearrangement, as it so happened, was a common occurrence.

"Look Kitten, I know your busy-"

"ever call me that again and I'll have your essence in eternal confinement faster than you can say shoebox."

"But the matter of diplomatic descent has come to my attention-or rather, the gap where it should be. Someone needs to be actually deploying envoys to these magicians. I know that they may seem hard to win over, but with a little convincing, maybe some leverage of their own once the government comes about, and persistent door hammering-"

"bartimaeus, we've been over this. I know it would work, but I just cant risk sending people out there to a mgicians property. Theyre our known enemies, and even if it was just a general informational sweep, theres the chance that someone could get hurt, and then I'd have the reputation of this whole operation at stake. How can I get the country to trust me if I cant take care of 300 of their most dedicated citizens?"

"Then send me with them. I'm great with danger. Besides, my mind is rotting out from all this imp shoveling."

"Sooner or later, someone will have to shovel imps, Bartimaeus."

"Yeah, but I've been shoveling for ages-"

"two weeks."

"that's pretty much an eternity, Kit-kat."

She stopped and peered at me quizzically.

"Are you or are you not five thousand years old? And the next nickname will earn you imp duty for a month."

"ha, well, it's actually my birthday this week, so the time has really been dragging by."

"I don't believe you have an actual birthday. However, I do believe that you will pretend you do and get completely obliterated."

"darling you know me so well."

Kitty turned to me now, serious written all over her face. She pursed her lips at me in a disapproving manner.

"Don't start. Not again."

I shrugged my shoulder in feigned innocence.

"What? Kitty, as a beautiful woman in this ravaged world you should be used to sexual advancement-"

"gah, stop-" She held a hand up to me, looking slightly queasy. "you know I don't like that nonsense. Besides I'm an old lady now."

"Please. Look at the government you just destroyed. Literally every magician was a wheezing bag of bones except-"

I quickly avoided her eyes and we continued walking in silence. Nathaniels death had been more of a shock to her, but she even admitted her own detachment to him. Nonetheless, she briefly chatted that he went out for a good cause and she had a deep sense of respect for my previous master. Afterwards, she hadn't pestered me about it. I was still deciding how I felt about it. After a while of feeling glum and probably spending too much time contemplating the matter I decided I probably had another five thousand years to review it. So I went about my daily hoohah and focused my attention to Kitty's campaign. Kittys willingness to leave the matter alone only added to my profound affection for her.

She pulled an arm around my waist as we trundled along the abandoned corridor. Clearly, the lunch rush was still in effect. The average age of our little campaign helpers made for expensive meals at meetings; 300 scrawny teenagers scarfed down two tons of chili and hot dogs faster than we could blink. However, it meant that from noon to one the slender townhouse was surprisingly tranquil.

"Kit-kat, your auras fading. You need rest." She stopped in front of the campaign office and smiled at me affectionately.

"Stop pretending like I need to be taken care of. This is my world, remember?" With this she leaned forward and kissed the copper forehead before walking in and pulling the French door shut behind her.

I took the form of a pigeon and fluttered out the adjacent window.