There were sirens, fire and the odor of smoke was stinging my nose. Hardly my nose, I'm not even real, but suddenly I was so human, the differences between her and I seemed too pitiful to scrape together. I looked real, didn't, I? My eyes were brown, maybe the bland color made me even more normal than her. After all, her eyes were green and blue, little flecks of gold shimmering as their pupils dilated in the light of sunrise. Maybe I was even more real than her. She looked at me and smiled a little, walking right up to the edge of the brick building. Fire was raging, shattering the windows behind us. her eyes closed and she leaned forward, tipping into the nameless morning, falling to the ancient earth.

In the still of Londons deep night, only the moon and stars were reflecting off the sidewalk and roofs. All the streetlights were out and the only slight illumination came from the windows where people were lighting candles. As was to be expected, chaos had begun to unfold in the city. Thankfully, that was exactly what we were leaving behind. Already several rowdy crowds had started throwing rotten fruit and bottles at our group of campaign members as we left the old magicians neighborhood and headed for a car. I had transformed into an enormous, snarling minotaur which promptly sent the scoundrels pissing themselves in the opposite direction. There may have been a whole city against us, but none of them had spirits or magic on their side, so I wasn't particularly worried. The headlights flashed against the deepening shrubbery of Londons outer edges as the abandoned factories and rubble of outer London began to fade into countryside.

As we approached the small town shadows grew tall, seeping from trees and blending into fields that were interrupted only by the widen fences jutting up to distinguish property lines. I glanced over at Kitty, who was driving, biting at her nails nervously.

"you shouldn't do that, you know. It's a bad habit." She looked over at me and smiled.

"I cant help it. This is bloody stressful."

I leaned back casually, kicking my feet up on the dashboard, to which she promptly tsked.

"hey, that's politics, kit-kat. Better get used to it, it aint a cushy ride. Besides, youre doing great. If I were you, I'd retire. Quit while you're ahead and all that jazz."

She snorted, shaking her head. A few wispy grey hairs came to rest on her shoulder, successfully giving her a frazzled and worn look.

"No way. Not for like, another ten years. You just want me to retire so that you can laze around and drink mimosas all day."

I shrugged.

"um….yeah? I thought that was obvious enough it needed no mentioning."

She sighed, her eyes lowering in a defeated manner before she gave me an apologetic look.

"Oh bartimaeus. I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better than this."

"oh no Kitty, no this. Can we just pretend that we had this conversation and then no actually have it?"

"No, I have to get this out," she said, thumping on the steering wheel emphatically, "it's important that you know this. You mean a lot to me. Youre not just here because I need help or to run errands for me. Youre not even just here because I trust you."

I writhed uncomfortably and grunted in misery.

"you're here because you're my best friend bartimaeus and I need you and I think you want to be here."

I slid down in my seat.

"Gah, is it over? Please tell me that's all."

She laughed and patted me on the head.

"Unless if you want to say something to me."

I shuddered.

"ohohohoh, that's funny, Kitten. Good god, don't ever do that to me again, that was the most uncomfortable thing any master has ever put me through. That's including stipples."

"oh yeah? Well you're always going on about sex. That's pretty damn uncomfortable for me."

I sputtered.

"Kitty, sex is normal! Djinn do it, humans do it, animals do it, and everyone does it. Nathaniel had an unnatural aversion to sex and Ill tell you, there was some seriously odd psychological stuff developing there. It isn't healthy; you gotta get laid once in a while." I took a casual posture, with my hands behind my head. Kitty was laughing and blushing slightly.

"Ok, ok. Whens the last time you got laid, Bartimaeus?"

"bout four years ago. Which, I'll remind you before you start harassing me about an dry spell, thats actually a very short period of time for us ancient spirits."

Kitty was cackling. Her immature reactions to sexual conversations were possibly the sole reason I ever brought them up, she could hardly contain herself.

"oh jeez. You having sex. Erruuggnnnnhhh. Hey, hey, heres a gross thought: having sex with a spirit!"

I suddenly felt a little queasy.

"kitty! Damn, that's straight up innaproproate! That's where I draw the line! Yyerrcckkk."

It was too true, Kitty and I may have broken barriers in our trust, but there were a few items of human-spirit interaction that would never go further than their use in theatrical production. Though, often when portrayed in the theater (here I was recalling Makepeaces godawful plays with a light cringe) they tended to be used solely for shock value. Humans and djinn were hardly made to touch each other. I was often impressed when kitty would throw an arm around my shoulder without even flinching or being revolted in the slightest. Previous masters had compared the feeling to being dunked in a bucket of prickly slime. Her desire to avoid offending me was admirable, but unnecessary.

She was still groaning in disgust when the headlights suddenly flashed over a little road sign. She slowed down to the side of the road.

"Rickerston." She looked at me, all the worry reappearing in fret lines and a furrowed brow. "Well, we're here."

We took the next road and entered the dark town.