"Maya—"

"Maya what are you doing here?"

"I was hoping you still lived here." she said with a small smile on her face. "My heart told me come here, to come back home." I wanted to smile but I couldn't.

"That's great to hear but I mean what are you doing here? At my house?" her eyes showed she was hurt by my response but she pushed through it.

"I had to come back. May I come in?" I look over my shoulder wonder whether I should or not. I sigh and step back to let her in. "Thank you." she walked pass me and into the living room. she still knew her way around my house. We used to hang out her a lot growing up. We have known each other since pre- school. she is well was one of my best friends. she was my best friend turn lover. my first and only love.

"How have you been?" she asked as I walked in. I looked around and was thankful the kids didn't mess anything up when we came home.

"I've been okay." I shake my head sitting down and lift my head to look at her. "How—?"

"how what?"

"how did you find me?"

"I just followed my heart. you are my heart and no matter where you go I will find you." her eyes bored into mine as if she was looking at my soul. I felt a chill run down my spine and butterflies erupt. The power she had over me.

"how have you been?" she shook her head.

"missing you like crazy. I was so mad at my parents for making me move back. My grandma was sick so I understood why we had to go back but I begged them to let me stay. I didn't want to leave you behind." her eyes looked so sad and I wanted to reach out and touch her. "high school wasn't the same without you being there."

"high school was—high school."

"how is swimming?"

"I don't swim anymore. I quit a long time ago." shock wiped across her face and I shook my head. "Life happens but I don't regret my decision." she nodded. We talked for almost an hour when I see a little figure come walking around the corner. Dominic ignores Maya sitting on the couch and crawls into my lap laying his head against my chest. "Hey sleepy head." I run my fingers through his hair and he looks up at me. "Do you want a snack?" he shook his head no and lays back against me.

Maya stares her eyes questioning the interaction. "Jess still sleeping?" he nods and I rub his back. we sit in silence. I don't know what to tell her or how to tell her. Do I just blurt it out? a lifetime seems to go by before I hear a voice. "Mama." I look down and Dominic eyes are open but its not his voice. I see Jessica standing at the other end of the couch staring at me. my voice cracks.

"What is it baby?"

"can I have juice?"

"yeah baby. your cup is on the bottom shelf. you may go get it." I lift Dom up and stand him on the floor. "Go get your juice as well. I'm going to come in a few minutes and make you both a bowl of fruit salad okay?" he walks away without speaking. he is normally quiet when he first wakes up.

"so um you're a mom?" I open and closed my mouth then nodded. "yeah I'm a mom." I looked away from the floor and looked her in the eyes.

"how old are they?"

"4." I nodded my head. "Dominic and Jessica. Twins."

"Mama Sydney awake." Jess told me before sitting next to Dom on the floor. I stand up walking into the little room off the living room picking Syd up. "Go get her cup for me please Jess." I sit down and Maya stares again. "This is Sydney. She's two." Jess hands Syd the cup and I stand up. "Come with me." I put Syd in the chair before taking out three bowls for some fruit salad and yogurt for a snack. "Do you want some?"

"Yes please." I make her a bowl before setting everything up in the den for the kids. "Babies eat in here while mama talks with her friend in the living room. Come get me if you need me."

we start eating the fruit in salad and the she sit it down and faces me. she takes mine from my hands and lifts my chin. "Who's the father? Where is he? Why are you here alone?"

"He is dead. Died before Syd was born."

"How?" I shake my head. "It doesn't matter how he died. He isn't here."

"Where are your parents?" I stand to walk away but she grabs my hand pulling me back. Our eyes meet and mine start to water. "Em—"

"They're dead." Maya eyes began to form tears and she shook her head. "No. What happen?"

"KIA and car acciedent."

"When?"

"My dad almost two years now. My mom a year and a half." she stared at me with a open mouth. Speechless. "I coped with it. Its hard but they make me strive forward. I work hard for them. Anything to make them happy." I take a bite of fruit and close my eyes are the pineapples juice spreads across my taste buds.

"do the girls know?" I look confused. "Spencer, Aria, Hanna?"

"oh no I haven't spoken to them as long as I haven't talked to you. I used to wonder how everyone was and wished you guys were here."

"Emi—"

"No! you all left me. I was alone. I hated losing my four best friends and I hated losing you. When I lost my dad I didn't get to cry. My mother cried for us. When my mother died, I had three kids cry for her. I had to change everything about my life. who I hung with, who I talked to, everything Maya." I took a shaky breath and wiped the tear off my cheek. "I have lost EVERYTHING that I love except those three. EVERYONE left me. And it hurts so much but all that hurt as given me strength. Strength that I didn't know I had."

she sits there with tears rolling down her face. her eyes looked so hurt and full of pain. I wiped my eyes and shook my head. "I'm sorry." she whispered.

"don't be. there was nothing you could have done. you had no choice but to leave."

"no I'm sorry for not calling. for not writing. for not—keeping you in touch. But you—YOU were always right here." she touched over her heart. "I had to come back for you."

"why now?"

"I just got back. No one knows I'm here. I realized I was missing something and I had to follow my heart. it brought me here."

"no one knows you're back in Rosewood?"

"In this country." my brows furrow and she continues. "I got accepted into this conservatory in England for the musically talented. I decided I didn't want a career in music anymore."

"Maya! Music was your life."

"well I lost my passion for it. I want to study medicine. I want to be a doctor. Make a difference in someone life." I open my mouth and Sydney runs in smiling. She grabs my fork and sticks a pineapple in her mouth then starts laughing.

"You want more?"

"Yeah." she laughs. I open my arms and she launches into them. I butterfly kisses to her cheeks and I sit her on my lap.

"I want you to meet Maya. Maya this is Sydney." she hid her face in my chest and I rubbed her back. "she acts shy but she is a ball of energy."

"Hi Sydney. That's a really pretty name." she looked at Maya giggling. "You're really pretty."

"thank you." she wiggled out of my arms and put another piece of fruit in her mouth. she dances as she chews making us both smiled.

"who knew you would have kids so young."

"yeah who knew. but did you keep in touch with any of the girls?"

"Spencer of course. we ended up going to the same school."

"Really?"

"Yeah after my grandma passed away, we moved and I went to some prep school for the music program. I was placed in this AP class and the teacher was telling me how I was too far behind and I need to be switched out. I looked down at the worksheet in front of me and I heard a "Ms. Hastings late again. Are we making this a habit now?" I didn't think to look up at the name even though it sounded familiar. "Sorry I wont let it happen again." I looked up and we stared at each other. After that day we hung out as much as possible."

"glad you had her."

"Emily don't be like that."

"I'm not being like anything. I'm really happy you had her."

"well, we were always busy. Between practice, college prep, and parent crap, we manage to still hang out. She goes to Princeton now."

"Of course she does." I laughed and before shaking my head. "smartass like always."

"well before I came along." she spoke up again. "we were tied for Valedictorian."

"How?"

"I worked my ass off. we couldn't believed it happen. We both were involved in school clubs, both had full rides to school, high SAT scores, but she beat me. Little heffer wrote this mind blowing essay and took the spot. That's how they decided the winner."

"I'm so proud of both of you and I could smack you right now."

"Why?"

"Full ride and you come here! Are you crazy? Wait don't answer that because the only logically answer is yes."

We talked and played with the kids for a few hours until it was time for me to start dinner. I asked her to stay and have dinner with us before she had to leave. It felt naturally to have her here but I cannot do this again. I cannot let her in.

what the hell am I thinking?

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed.