Everyday Maya and I talk before and after class. I told her that before I allow her around my kids again our friendship needs to be restored. I don't want random people around my kids. Yes I know Maya is not some random person to me but she is to them. I don't want her in their lives if she is just going to leave again.

"So I spoke to Spencer…" Maya said one day after class. "She is coming to visit me and she wants to see you." my heart started to race.

"did you tell her about the kids?"

"no. I didn't feel it was my place to tell her that information. I just told her we have class together. She really misses you." her eyes fell soft. "Don't you miss her?"

"its not a question whether or not I miss her, I don't know if I'm ready to see her. So much has happen since you guys left my life. I'm not the same Emily she knew."

"And she isn't the same Spencer." she counter back. I shook my head.

"I don't know. I will see. I have to go." I start to walk away and Maya grabs my wrist. "Please think about it Em. She really wants to see you." she let go of me and I nodded walking off to my car.

it has been about two week since Maya and I last spoke. I see her in class, we say hi and bye, then we go about our day.

its been over a month since I have had an actual conversation with Maya. I'm sitting on the couch reading my textbook. studying for this test that I have tomorrow. The kids are all taking a nap and I have maybe an hour left before all my silence evaporates. My phone vibrates on the coffee table, I lean the textbook forward to see what color notification lights up. It flashes blue and I ignore my phone for the time beginning.

I finish my page and pick up my phone. 'Call me please. –Maya'

I sigh and call her which she immediately answers. "Hey."

"Hey. Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes I'm fine I just haven't spoken to you and I really wanted to hear you voice." she is lying.

"Maya, talk to me."

"Are you avoiding me?" Yes. "No. why would you ask that?"

"I know you or at least I thought I did and you haven't spoken to me in over a month."

"look Maya, You just enter my life again. I have been alone for years and I have three kids to think about here. I have a family to take care of, A career to focus on and I don't have time for relationships. I have to get used to you being here again."

"Em—"

"No you and Spencer are trying to be here. I don't know if I want you here."

"I'm not going anywhere again. Don't push me away. I'm here for you. I'm your friend until you say otherwise. No pressure. I—We want to make up for lost time. For not being there when you needed us the most. Not being there when you became a mother. When you lost your parents."

"i—"

"Spencer is flying back tomorrow morning and she really wants to see you before you go. Please?" I shake my head, rubbing my forehead. I really miss Spencer. I really want to see her. Fine.

"Fine. Come over." I sighed. "What does she already know?"

"That your parents are dead and you're in nursing school."

"she don't know about the kids?"

"no I didn't mention it. I changed the subject." I nodded even though she couldn't see it.

"Okay. You can come over now. Knock on the door do not ring the door bell or I will have a screaming two year old who is cranky."

"thank you."

"bye." I hung up the phone and realized what I was wear. "Shit." I run up the stairs and immediately change out of my sweats into some leggings and a tank top. Jeans wouldn't be practical. I've been home all day. I check my messy bun and like the way it looks. I peep in on the kids and head back downstairs. I grab of bowl of fruit out of the fridge sitting back down to start studying again until they arrive.

The knock at the door made my heart jump to my throat and started to race. I walk slowly to the door taking deep breaths. I open the door and there stands Maya and Spencer. Spencer. Her hair was a dark raven color. she still sported the preppy look. Her lips were slight red and her eyes intense. My eyes watered seeing my best friend. Maya step to the side and Spencer wrapped her arms around me. Engulfing me in a tight hug that made my heart settle back in its original place. This hug made it feel like time stopped and we were those kids again. I've missed my best friend.

"Hi." we both whispered wiping the tears from our eyes. Maya steps in and I shut the door behind her. We sat down on the couch while I moved my books to the coffee table. we just stare at each other smiling.

"So—" I started to break up the silence. "Tell me how have you been? Tell me about College, High school with crazy over there."

"Hey! I'm not crazy." Maya laughed and we joined.

"Keep telling yourself that Maya." Spencer laughed. "High school was a dread. Maya made some of it not so bad. College is good. I'm having a great time and I'm happy."

"Really?"

"Yes I love the career I'm going into. I'm happy to be back on the East Coast. I feel like I'm home." she smiled then her faced changed. Here it comes. "How are you? Tell me everything."

"High school sucked. I hated every minute of it. The only thing I loved was swimming."

"didn't you get a scholarship?"

"Yeah I got a full ride actually. But when my dad died I just didn't want to leave my mom. Then she died and I didn't have any support. I had responsibilities here I couldn't leave."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for that."

"Its okay. I deleted everything after that. you wouldn't have known something was wrong."

"still I should of called you or something."

"Spencer don't beat yourself up. Life happens. Can't sit around and mope in it." She looked at me with this look I have never seen on Spencer face. I don't know what you would call the look either.

"You're not the same Emily I knew. The Emily I knew would have never said that. You used to be the breath of fresh air in the group. The one that made all of us smile. You're all grown up now." I shrugged my shoulders. "life happened Spence." we talked some more about Cali and what all she did there. She told me that she missed me and she begged her parents to move back here but they wanted a fresh start and told her it was never going to happen. "Our family is here now Spencer so you are too. That's the end of it. I don't want to hear it again, understood?" She quoted what both her parents have said to her numerous times. I was about to speak when I hear something on the baby monitor and I got up. "I'll be right back."

I walked upstairs and went into Sydney's room and smiled at her. I cut the monitor off then picked her up. "Hey baby girl. Did you have a good nap?"

"yeah."

"Mama wants you to meet someone downstairs." she hide her face in my neck being her shy little self. "Maya is here." She lifted her face and smiled at me. I peeped in on the twins who were still asleep and would come downstairs once they woke. "ready to meet my other friend?" she laid her head back on my shoulder ignoring my question. I carefully walked down the stairs and was glad when Spencer was facing Maya talking. I walked more into the living room and it caught both of their attentions. Maya waved at Sydney as I sat on the couch.

"Spencer this is Sydney. Sydney this is my friend Spencer."

"Hi Sydney. That's a very pretty name." Syd smiled but put her face in my chest laughing.

"Why are you being so silly willy?" I tickled her and she just started laughing. There is nothing better than listening to the sound of a baby or toddler laughing. it makes your heart smile. "Mama stop!" she screamed laughing. I picked her up and kissed her cheek. "I love you."

"I wuv you chu." she climbed out my lap and took my phone off the coffee table. "Doc stuffin'?" she asked handing me my phone.

"Go get the ipad out the den. It's on there." she ran out of the living room to the den. I turned to Spencer and she has a shocked happy look on her face.

"You have a daughter. You're a mother." she said shocked. "How old is she?"

"Two." she ran back to me and I put on her cartoon and she laid on her tummy on the floor. "That's my baby girl."

"I don't know what to say. I'm so shocked." Before I could speak, the sound of little feet coming down the stairs could be heard. We all turned our heads to see Jessie and Dom coming downstairs. "Maya!" they yelled running to her giving her a hug. "Babies come here, I want to introduce you to my friend." they walked over and I gave them both a kiss and asked how their naps were before introducing Spencer to them. "Mama can we have juice?" Dominic asked for the both of them. "Yes you may. come on."

"Em I got it." Maya said standing up.

"Maya I can do it."

"Sit and talk to Spencer. I can make them a snack and get them juice." Maya said while walking the twins and Syd to the kitchen.

"You have three kids?" I nodded smiling looking over my shoulder. "Yeah I do."

"If you don't mind me asking, where is their dad?" I looked down and sighed. "he is dead."

"Oh my God Emily. I'm sorry." she moved closer to me and rested her hand on my shoulder. "How? When?"

"Before Sydney was born in Iraq."

"You lost everything." she said as if it wasn't already obvious. "I've lost everything and everyone I cared about except those three. They are a constant." Spencer started to tear up which was unusual for the Spencer I once knew.

"I'm sorry I was such a terrible friend once I left. But I'm here now and I want to be your best friend again. I want, if you will allow me too, to be a part of your life again. I miss you so much and I have clearly missed so much. Let me be here."

"Why? Why didn't you two contact me?"

"Maya tried. I watched her multiple times type you a message on facebook but would always erase it. I don't know why. I don't know why she was so scared to send it. But the day you erased your facebook, Maya went crazy. she called me going asking why? That girl in there loves you so much. She probably wouldn't want me to tell you this but when she dated back in Cali and I would meet them. She would always ask when they left, they don't compare to Emily do they? She was looking for you in people. She always talked about you. Stalked your facebook." She laughed bitterly. "That girl is the one for you."

"They are all set." Maya said walking back into the room and we stopped talking. "I see I was the topic at hand."

"No you weren't. Spence and I were just having a heart to heart."

"Have you spoken to Hanna or Aria?" I asked quite curious. they looked at each other and shook their heads.

"I thought Hanna was in New York and Aria is still in Iceland according to Facebook." Spencer said. "I would of thought Hanna at least would of stayed in touch."

"oh well." I said picking up my phone that started vibrating on the coffee table. "Excuse me."

hello

Hi I'm Sarah from kindercare. I was looking for a Ms. Emily Fields

Speaking

Hi I was calling to tell you that Friday our facility will be close due to fumigation. I'm sorry for this sudden change.

it's alright I will just take them to daycare instead. no problem.

okay if you have any questions please just give us a call

alright. thank you bye.

"Sorry about that. Pre-school is close Friday." I put the little piece of hair behind my ear and sigh. we continue talking until the kids coming running into the living room jumping on the couch. "Hey no jumping, sit on your butts."

"Mommy can we go outside and play?" Dominic asked.

"go put your shoes on and we can go out back and play." Sydney came running back with her vans for me to slip on her. "Mama can I wear the pink ones?" Jessie asked lifting her pink converse in the air. "yes you can."

"Can you put them on?" She asked while I was putting on Syd's shoes. "Uh yeah hold on."

"Jessica can I put them on for you?" Maya asked and she smiled walking over to her. "Can you help me?" Dominic asked Spencer. She looked nervously at me and I nodded my head. "Sure sweetie come here."

In that moment I seen a side of Spencer I've never seen before. she acted as if we weren't there anymore. I watched in awe of how she was acting with him.

"How old are you?"

"4."

"Is mama teaching you how to tie your shoes?"

"yeah but I can't remember."

"that's okay. I forgot too when I first learn. Your mama helped me remember one day."

"really? you knew mama when she was small?"

"Yes she was my best friend."

"how did she make you remember?"

"there was a bunny who went looking for his sister. he went around the tree and into the hole. pull them together and now they are whole." he smiled at her and she smiled back. "Now you try." he did exactly as her and tied his own shoe.

"Mommy I did it!" he exclaimed.

"Great job buddy." Spencer gave him high five.

"That's my big boy." I walked over giving his cheek raspberry kisses. He burst into a ball of laughter and I picked him up. "Mommy is proud of you. Tell Aunt Spencer thank you." Spencer looked at me calling her Aunt and she smiled.

"Thank you."

"you're welcome." I carry him to the back door as the girls all follow. I put him down and he runs to the bin with toys. "Mommy play soccer with me." Dominic said kicking the ball towards me. Spencer and Maya sit at the table and I start playing with the kids with the ball. They're laughed and falling over each other trying to kick the ball in the goal behind me. Jessie ran towards me and I picked her up in the air, blowing into her neck.

"Mommy!" she yelled laughing. "say mercy."

"Mercy mama mercy." I kiss her cheek putting her down. "I'm gonna sit down and talk you play together."

"I love watching you with them." Maya said smiling. "You're amazing."

"Thank you."

"You look so happy with them." Spencer smiled. "Your eyes light up."

"They are the light of my life. I love them so much."

we talked and it felt so good to catch up with Spencer. I truly missed her. we the time came for Spencer and Maya to go I was honestly sad to have them leave. I loved having Maya around even though I wouldn't tell her that now but I got those butterflies back. Spencer made me feel like time stopped and I was back in middle school. I agreed to stay in touch with her and we exchanged numbers. She promised to come visit again soon and I honestly cannot wait until she does. Before they walked out the door Spencer went to say bye to the kids. Maya looked at me with those beautiful eyes and I couldn't help but stare back.

"Ma—" she kissed me softly and without saying a word slipped something into my pocket and walked out the door. How can she just kiss me and leave?

"Bye Em." Spencer said giving me a hug. I waved bye in a shock. A daze. I shut the door and leaned against it. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. I unfold the paper and my heart stops.

'You will be mine again. I love you Emily.'

A/N: I hoped you enjoyed this update. I know it took forever for an update but I hope this makes up for it. I've decided this is not going to be a really long story. I don't know how many chapters but I don't expect no more than 15. I don't know just yet. tell me what you think. Until next time. Bye peeps.