Don't own Fullmetal Alchemist : ) If I did I wouldn't have to pay so much for school

Flashback starts:

After freshman year Halloween, a year passed after Envy realized that he liked Ed. However, he held his feelings back because he knew they could never be together. Ed liked girls; he would never return any feelings. Envy did the best he could to support Ed on his mission to make Rose his girlfriend. This all changed over Labor Day weekend during the boys' sophomore year. It was a Thursday afternoon, and everyone had Friday off for Lab

"Party at my house tonight boys! My parents are taking May to visit our grandparents in Dallas!" Ling beamed.

"And you don't have to go with them?" Envy asked.

"Nope, I convinced them that I had too much homework!"

Envy and Ed gave each other a look. Roy, on the other hand, looked ecstatic.

"Are there going to be a lot of girls?" he asked Ling.

"Of course Mustang! Who do you take me for? Winry, Rose, Lyra, and Sloth will all be there!"

"Maybe Lyra will be down for hooking up with her ex! Or maybe Sloth will get super drunk and finally want me! Muahah" Roy was clearly plotting something evil.

"Stop talking about my sister like that." Envy smacked Roy on the head.

"There isn't going to be drinking, Roy, you silly mongoose!" Ling tickled Roy's nose.

Ed gave Ling a weird look. "Okay, so what time should we come over?"

"Everyone be at my house by nine!"

Eight hours later.

Ed, Envy, and Roy were all standing on Ling's doorstep looking spiffy. Envy was wearing black leather pant and a white dress shirt. Ed mimicked Envy and wore black leather pants with a red dress shirt. Roy was wearing jeans with a plaid dress shirt. He had a black jacket over his shirt. Ling opened the door and beamed at his three friends.

"My friends look so fancy! Come on in guys!"

Envy, Roy, and Ed walked in and started following Roy into the kitchen.

"So, what time are Rose and them getting here?" Ed asked.

"I told the girls to come at ten! Everyone come help me make the punch!"

Ling walked over to the cabinet and grabbed a giant punch bowl out. He set it on the counter. Envy sauntered over to the fridge and opened the door.

"Well what kind of fruit juices do you have?" he asked while his eyes scanned the fridge.

"Oh look for orange juice." Roy suggested.

"All I see is pineapple, mango, and passion fruit juice." Envy moved around a few cartons in the back just to make sure he didn't miss anything.

"Mix those all together!" Ling bounced over and grabbed the cartons from Envy. He then dumped the contents from all three containers into the punch bowl, mixing them together with a giant spoon.

"I think I should have the honor of tasting it first!" Roy pumped his fist into the air.

"Sure, why not!" said Ling, handing Roy his spoon.

Roy scooped up some punch and drank it.

"It's good but it still needs something." Roy pondered with his hand on his chin.

Meanwhile, Ed was searching through the pantry for anything they could add. He came across several liters of different sodas.

"Hey guys, let's try adding some Sprite!" he offered. Ed poured the liter of Sprite into the punch bowl. After mixing it in, he gave the spoon to Roy, the "official" taste tester.

"It's PERFECT." Roy lifted the spoon into the air.

"I want to try it!" Ed reached for the spoon.

Roy kept it lifted. "Only if you can reach it shorty."

"WHO'S SO SHORT HE COULD DROWN IN THE PUNCH BOWL."

Envy and Ling rolled their eyes and walked into the living room, leaving Roy and Ed to squabble in the kitchen. About ten minutes passed and there was a knock on the door. Roy and Ed were still arguing in the kitchen, so Envy decided to answer it.

"Hey Envy! How are you?" Rose smiled, standing next to Sloth.

"Good. When are Winry and Lyra getting here?"

"Winry just texted me saying that she's on her way with Lyra. Honestly, they take way too long to get ready," Sloth said, brushing past her brother.

When Lyra and Winry arrived, Envy could practically see the layers of makeup pounded on their face. He didn't like girls, but even he preferred the natural look that Rose and Sloth had.

Winry, Lyra, and Envy joined everyone in the kitchen. Winry walked over to the punch bowl and poured herself a glass.

"There's not anything in this punch is there?" Winry eyed her cup suspiciously.

"We've been drinking it for the past hour and nothing has happened so far. Not to mention the four of us made it ourselves." Envy said with a bite in his tone. Envy was never very nice to Winry.

"Don't make me regret leaving the wrench at home." Winry narrowed her eyes.

Envy involuntarily shivered. He hated getting smacked with that thing. He decided to walk into the living room with his cup, while everyone followed.

Roy stayed behind, looking for a restroom. He kept drinking the punch to calm his nerves to talk to Sloth. He hadn't realized how much he drank until he had four empty cups next to him. His bladder was killing him. Roy finally found a restroom between the kitchen and dining room and went inside. After relieving himself, he washed his hands and found that he was still nervous. He tried calming his nerves by looking through the bathroom cabinet to distract himself. 'It's only Sloth. Where is all your pimp confidence,' he thought. Sloth seemed to be the only girl in school who wasn't attracted to him. He was about to shut the cabinet when something caught his eye. He moved a few things around and took out an unopened bottle. It read EVERCLEAR on the front. It also read 190 proof/95% ethanol. Roy sweat dropped. 'Ling, you scheming little bastard. Wait, I could use this to my advantage.' He then hid the bottle in his jacket and walked back out.

When Roy got back into the living room, the gang was all sitting on different chairs and couches. Envy and Ed were sitting by each other, Winry and Rose were sitting on a couch, Lyra was on a chair, and Ling was standing up telling some intense but most likely stupid story. Roy saw Sloth sitting by herself on a couch and swooped in.

"Hey, Sloth! How's it going?" he said with a grin.

"Fine. Ling's talking about how Big Foot steals from their apple tree in his backyard."

"Of course he is." Roy then eyed a cup on the table in front of Sloth. 'Perfect,' he thought.

"Okay, guys let's go get some snacks and then go into my movie room!" Ling ran off into the kitchen with everyone else hot on his trail. Sloth got up and started walking away. Roy made sure no one was looking before he poured some Everclear into her drink. Roy was about to get up when Ed ran over to him.

"Almost forgot my drink!" Ed said as he took the newly spiked drink. He then ran and joined the group in the kitchen.

Roy started freaking out. 'Oh shit. SHIT, that wasn't Sloth's drink. I'm screwed. Maybe I should just spike all of the drinks. One of them has to be hers.' And with that, Roy emptied the Everclear bottle into every cup in the room. He then hid the empty bottle back in his jacket. He was about to join everyone in the kitchen when they wondered back into the living room carrying snacks.

Envy looked over at Roy. "Roy, why are you being all sketchy in here?"

Roy started babbling. "Oh haha I wasn't feeling very good, so I thought I'd stay back in here. But I feel better now, so let's go watch the movie!"

Everyone looked suspicious but brushed it off. Roy was probably being weird again. Everyone grabbed their respective cup and went downstairs. Ling's basement was huge. There was even a kitchen area complete with a bar and fridge.

"Wow, your basement is huge, Ling!" said Lyra. Everyone was awestruck with the size of the basement.

"Why thank you! The movie room is the first on the right. The second door is the bathroom, and the door down the hall is the bedroom. No one should go in there! Now which movie should we watch?"

"Let's just skip the movie and play spin the bottle!"

"Are you kidding, Winry? Who wants to play that?" Envy asked crossing his arms.

"I'll play it," said Rose and Lyra. Roy agreed with them.

"Well, that should be more interesting than a movie. Let's do it guys!" exclaimed Ling.

"How about you guys play, and Envy, Sloth, and I will watch a movie," Ed scoffed. Sloth and Envy nodded in agreement.

"Aw party poopers! You guys are playing. You won't figure out how to work my TV anyway," said Ling.

"Ling, it can't be hard to work your TV," Sloth said, trying for a last ditch effort.

"Nope, you're playing! Everyone finish your drinks before we play!" Ling then gulped down the rest of his cup. Everyone else did the same.

Envy drank a third of his cup before stopping. "Mine tastes weird. Does anyone want the rest of it?"

Ed finished his cup before volunteering. "I'll take it! This stuff is so good." And with that, Ed finished the rest of Envy's cup as well.

The group sat down in a circle. Ling ran over to his fridge and emptied a Dr. Pepper bottle and screwed the lid back on. He placed the bottle in the middle. "Okay, I'll start! I have to kiss whoever the bottle lands on. And then it's their turn to spin! Any questions? No? Good!" Ling grabbed the bottle and started spinning it. Everyone's eyes were glued on the bottle until it stopped at…Winry.

Winry blushed and looked up at Ling, refusing to meet his eyes. Her stomach felt unusually hot.

"Yeah, Winry! Man of your dreams coming right in!" Ling walked right over to Winry on his knees and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her towards him. Her lips met his for about five seconds before he pulled her away. He gave her a wink and went back to his spot on the floor, leaving a blushing Winry holding her lips.

"Winry, it's your turn," said Ed, breaking Winry from her trance.

"Oh, right!" she said before grabbing the bottle and spinning it. It finally stopped on…Rose.

Rose blushed at Winry who was sitting right next to her. Winry knew Rose's secret that she had never kissed anyone and decided to give her a quick peck on the cheek.

"What! No fair! You have to kiss on the lips. Those are the rules!" exclaimed Ling.

"I agree with him, let's see this!" agreed Roy.

Winry looked mad, with a blush tinted on her cheeks. "You never said where we have to kiss them, did you LING?"

Ling, fearing for his life, decided to brush it off. "Fine, Rose your turn."

Rose shyly grabbed the bottle and gave it a gentle spin. It finally stopped on Sloth.

"Okay, it's obvious this bottle wants some GIRL ON GIRL action! Come on ladies!" Roy was persistent.

Rose turned to her other side to give Sloth another cheek peck. Sloth smiled and patted her on the head.

"Calm down, Roy," said Sloth, grabbing the bottle. She gave it a go and it landed on Lyra. 'Why does my head feel so weird?' she thought. Sloth crawled right on over to Lyra and pulled her head down. Lyra's lips met Sloth's and both girls started making out. Every. Jaw. Dropped.

"THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED," Roy exclaimed, standing up and lifting his fist into the air.

"This party is finally getting started!" Ling started running around.

"Yeah whose turn is next? Eddy wants in on this!" Ed started running around with Ling. Envy raised an eyebrow. What the hell was happening to his friends? He felt really calm, not running around.

Lyra grabbed the bottle and spun it. It landed on an empty spot that previously belonged to Ed.

"Ed, get over here you shrimp!" she called.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Ed yelled as he pounced on Lyra, starting to make out with her. Lyra shoved Ed off.

"Ed, you are not as good of a kisser as Sloth," Lyra said brushing any wrinkles out of her shirt with her hands.

"MY TURN!" said Ed. He picked up the bottle and threw it in the air. The bottle seemed to be falling in slow motion…right into Envy's hands.

Envy's eyes were wide and glued to the bottle. His face was bright red. He was actually going to kiss Ed? He felt a hand on the back of his head, yanking it down. Envy's lips met Ed's. Envy started to feel lightheaded as he dropped the bottle and wrapped his hands around Ed's back, pulling him in close. Ed, finally realizing what he was doing, pushed Envy away and went back to his spot. Envy was still standing there, his hands on his mouth.

"Envy, i-i-it's your turn," Rose hiccupped.

Envy sat down and spun the bottle. It landed on...Winry.

"HAHA you two hate each other!" Sloth pointed out.

'Okay, something has to be wrong. Sloth is always mature and composed,' Envy thought.

"WOO, LET'S GO GUYS!" Rose yelled. Everyone became silent. Something was definitely wrong.

"LET'S GO ENVY. KISS THAT WRENCH. I LIKE CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES. I'M GOING TO GROW TO BE SEVEN FEET TALL! I LOVE MY LIFE!" Ed was yelling as he jumped from couch cushion to couch cushion.

Just then, as Ling's head was spinning and he was dancing to "All I Ever Wanted" from Basshunter did he realize that something was wrong. Ling dashed upstairs and stumbled to his bathroom, just to realize that his bottle of Everclear was no longer there. He ran back downstairs to see Envy and Winry arguing about their apparent "peck" and how it was supposed to be half a second but it actually lasted an entire second. Sloth was laughing her ass off. Roy was touching Sloth's boob and she wasn't noticing. Rose was running around with Lyra. Ed had found a cape and was now a superhero named "The Steel Giant".

Ling looked over to Roy. "Roy, you took the Everclear didn't you?"

"Now, Ling why would you accuse me of something like that?" Roy laughed.

"Because y-you're the only one who isn't COMPLETELY wasted."

"Envy isn't wasted either."

Envy ran over to them. "I HEARD MY NAME." His cheeks were tinted pink and his eyes were half closed.

"Envy, did you take my bottle of Everclear from my bathroom?" Ling asked.

"Everclear?! Is that why everyone is going INSANE?" Envy glared at Ling.

"Don't glare at me! I decided at the last second to not drug everyone. Roy here is the one who poured it in everyone's' cup."

"But you were planning on drugging us?" Envy exclaimed, looking pissed.

"Heh heh…I just wanted it to be fun…" Ling said nervously.

"Well let's just hope no one DIES! Now Roy and I have to take care of everyone, seeing as were the only two who are in a decent state of mine," said Envy. Just then, there was a gasp in the room. Envy looked over to see Ed passed out on the couch.

"ED! Are you okay?" Envy said once he made his way over to Ed.

"Moretti, take him upstairs and get him water. He will need that to dilute the alcohol in his system and to lighten the hangover tomorrow." Roy was trying to make up for his earlier mistake.

Envy lifted Ed up bridal style and started carrying him upstairs. All four girls were squealing about how "cute" they looked. 'I hope Roy can deal with everyone else. Actually no, he deserves all of the trouble they will give him,' thought Envy. He carried Ed into the second guest bedroom in Ling's house. Envy set him down onto the bed. He was about to leave when he heard Ed speak.

"E-Envvyyy?"

"Yeah, what's up Edward?"

"You're strangely beautiful." Ed's face was completely flushed from the alcohol.

"WHAT?" Envy was taken aback. He couldn't believe it. Was Ed complimenting him? "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're so pretty but in a different way. I like it. I meannnn its not every day that someone has g-green hair and purple eyes."

Envy couldn't tell if Ed was an honest drunk or just talking out of his ass.

"Well, thanks. Why don't you just lie down and rest for a while. I'll get you some water." Envy came back upstairs to find Ed passed out in the guest bed. Envy gently nudged Ed's arm until his eyes fluttered open.

"I brought you some water. Roy told me to make you drink it so you won't be hung-over in the morning."

"Awwww Envy you're always looking out for me. That's why I like you so much!"

"Stop saying stuff like that Ed. I know it's just the alcohol talking. I'll be downstairs if you need me." Envy turned and started to walk towards the door.

"N-no wait! Don't leave. J-j-just stay here." Ed got off the bed and started to stumble towards Envy. He was unsuccessful and ended up falling on the floor.

"Don't be stupid, chibi. Stay in bed.

"D-don't call me short…."

"You're too drunk to even make a rant."

"Please stay? I'll drink all of the water, I promise!"

"Okay FINE. I'll stay," Envy groaned.

Ed smiled and Envy helped him back up on to the bed. Envy got in on the other side and sat down.

"Envy, do you like me?"

"WHAT?!" Envy's face turned a bright shade of red.

Ed giggled. "Y-You're always helping me out, first with Rose. And now taking care of me when I'm dru-drunk."

"Ed, you are so gone. This is the first time I've ever heard a giggle from you. And you can't even rant SHORTY. You have no clue what you're saying."

"But I do know what I'm saying! I'm not stupid, I'm in honors algebra and honors English!"

Envy rolled his eyes. "Well I'm not, not all of us like taking honors classes."

"But you're smart! You sh-sh-should be taking those classes. That's one of the reasons whyyy I like you. I feel like I would do anything for you as well." Ed hiccupped.

Envy's eyes widened. 'Is he serious? I hope he is. Ed could finally return my feelings.' he thought.

"Ed, just go to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow morning."

"Aw okayyyyyy. Good night!" And with that, Ed rolled over and passed out.

The next morning Envy woke up with a slight headache. He hadn't drunken that much last night, but it was still enough to make him feel off. He felt a pressure on his chest and looked down to see Ed nuzzled into his side with one arm lying across his chest. He started shaking Ed with his free arm.

"Chibi." ~Shake~

"Mmmm don't call me short."

"CHIBI" ~More violent shake~

"Ehhh who are you calling so short he can't ride a roller coaster?" Ed rolled over, still asleep. Envy looked confused. Just what the hell was Ed dreaming about?

"CHIBIIIIIIII" ~Punch~

Ed jumped up. "AHHHHHHH I'M NOT SHORT I JUST HAVEN'T HIT MY GROWTH SPURT!"

"Ed, you're never hitting your growth spurt! Just give it up."

Ed glared. "You don't know that! Wait, why are we at Ling's house? And why are we both sleeping in the same bed?"

Envy's eyes widened with realization. "You don't remember anything? We came over to Ling's for his party."

"Oh yeah, the party! It didn't really seem like a party though. I remember the girls coming over. And I drank all that punch. Did we play spin the bottle? Oh, Ling kissed Winry. Who did Winry kiss?"

"You don't remember anything after that? Ed, you made out with Lyra, kissed me, and kept telling people to call you the Steel Giant."

"Are you SERIOUS?"

"Yes."

"W-we kissed?"

Envy paused. "Yeah, you threw the bottle and I caught it. And then you walked over and pulled my head down. So, you don't remember anything you said to me last night?"

Ed had his head down. "No I don't."

"You told me that you liked me. Did you really mean that?" Envy was trying to be hopeful.

There was a long pause before Ed said anything. "Even if I did like you, nothing would ever happen. Sorry, I'll see you at school." And with that, Ed left Ling's house.

'So, I think I'm in love with the chibi and he secretly likes me. I don't see a problem here.' Envy grinned. Seduction mode activated.

Flashback Ends

The next day at school was a Wednesday and Envy was feeling…devious. He was sitting with Sloth and Envy at lunch and decided to clue Sloth in on his plan.

"Sister, I've told Ling about me and Ed."

"Oh, did you really?" Sloth looked slightly surprised; her brother had kept it a secret for so long.

"Yes and this time, we're going to date like a normal couple. No hiding anything."

"Ed is still dating Rose. I think he's pretty determined to keep dating girls."

Ling decided to interrupt. "So, Sloth do you have a date to the school mixer?"

"Is Envy going with Ed?"

"Not yet…"

"Then no."

Ling gave Envy a look of defeat and slumped onto the table.

Envy decided to jump back in the conversation. "I think Ed likes Rose, but I'm not sure she feels the same way about him. She still hasn't kissed him after three months of dating."

Ling's eyes actually opened, indicating he was very surprised. "SERIOUSLY?"

"Shh keep it down, Ling," Envy looked around the cafeteria before continuing, "I know she's catholic and all, but even religious girls still make out with their boyfriends. Riza's catholic, but she still made out with Roy several times. I just can't seem to figure out why she's dating Ed if she's not into him," Envy pondered.

"What should I do, En?" asked Sloth, trying to be helpful for her little (by five minutes) brother.

"Sloth, gather intel from Rose. Try to figure out if she's actually interested in the pipsqueak."

"That should not be a problem," Sloth smirked, which did not happen often.

Envy looked over at his friend who was still slumped over on the table. "Ling, I need you to do something as well." Ling's ears perked up.

Ed was looking over at Envy's table. Envy was engaged in conversation with Ling and Sloth. He saw Envy say something to Ling, which was followed by a "SERIOUSLY?" from Ling. He knew they were up to something. He watched Sloth get up from the table and walk over to where Rose and Lyra were sitting. Envy left the cafeteria, and Ling started walking right towards Ed, Roy, and Winry's table.

Yup, they were up to something.

"Hiya little Edo!" Ling patted Ed on the head before sitting next to him.

Before Ed could yell, Roy spoke. "Ling! What's up man?"

"Oh you know, just coming over to talk about the project! Who wants to come over to my house tonight?