He arrives back in the morning with a deer slung over his shoulders, to find Rick waiting for him on the porch.

Rick nods to acknowledge his return before jerking his head towards Daryl's burden.

"Got a deer." Rick comments unnecessarily, and Daryl makes a non committal noise in his throat before setting the animal down on a tarp and beginning the butchering.

Rick makes his way slowly towards where Daryl crouches over his work, squatting down beside him and clearing his throat, almost a nervous sound.

"You know... You don't owe anyone an explanation, Daryl. You don't have to say anything to anyone."

Daryl looks up from the deer, meeting Rick's eyes for a moment before nodding and returning his gaze to the ground. Nothing else needs to be said between them. Rick is his brother, and he understands most of all the different ways that people cope with grief. Daryl also knows by the statement that Rick will already have made this clear to the others, that they're not to badger him.

Rick might have given his guarantee, but it's not long before Daryl feels the air shift behind him, and even without turning to look he call tell it's Glenn by the nervous shuffling of his feet, Daryl can almost picture the look on the younger man's face. He wishes they could avoid this conversation, but he's known Glenn almost since the beginning of it all, known him longest of any of them now, besides Carol, and there's something owed to that length of time.

"Can we talk?" Sure enough, Glenn's voice comes from behind, low and urgent, and Daryl turns to nod before gathering the meat up in the tarp, walking it up the steps to a waiting Tyreese, then jerking his head in the direction of the small creek nearby to show that Glenn should walk with him.

Glenn is silent until they arrive, until Daryl is crouching down to wash the blood off his hands, having disposed of the innards on the way.

It is only when Daryl turns to look up at him that Glenn begins, arms crossed and hands shoved under his armpits, his posture one of defeat.

"I'm sorry... for what Maggie said. You know she didn't mean it, that she doesn't really think that about you, it's just... She feels so guilty, you know? So she's lashing out, looking for someone else to blame. I've been trying to help her, but..."

Glenn trails off, gesturing with one hand helplessly.

"She putting some of that blame on you?" Daryl asks him, his voice low and rough, seeing the strain in Glenn's features for the first time.

Glenn sighs, and sits down cross legged by the river bank, picking up a twig to begin snapping it and throwing the pieces in the water. "She says if I hadn't agreed to go to DC then we would've been there. She thinks maybe, I dunno, that if she'd been there Beth wouldn't have done it, that Maggie would've known somehow and stopped her."

"That's not on you," Daryl replies, that moment once again flashing before his eyes, when she had walked past him, when he had let her go. "Didn't know, when you left. Had no clue where she might be till that night... And that day, well, we all think 'bout what we coulda done."

"I'm glad she was with you," Glenn tells him suddenly, peering over to Daryl where he still crouches next to him, "I know you did your best to keep her safe, that you would've saved her if you could've."

Daryl nods, his throat suddenly tight and dry. He would've if he could've, would've done anything in his power.

"Lost her in the end."

Glenn nods, acknowledging that, "But she was safe with you before that, she had those weeks when she might not have had any at all."

That might be something, but Daryl's not sure it's worth anything in the end.

Sometimes Daryl wonders why they're bothering to go to DC at all.

Eugene's a liar, and there's no guarantee there's anything waiting for them there, except more walkers, maybe in even bigger numbers than what they've seen.

But they need something to head towards, a direction, so that they can forget for a time just how lost they are.

Been lost for an awfully long time, Daryl thinks, lost since the prison, lost since they all lost each other.

Beth could've brought them all back together, made them whole again, Daryl knows it. Instead chasing after her turned into another failed quest, another loss, another reminder of just how powerless they are. Maggie's right and it does seem pointless some days, but he ain't gonna be the one to agree with her.

He's followed Rick for years now, and that was the only direction he needed. Never thought he'd need anything else, except to protect them all, give them a chance, but that was before he knew what else there was.

There's nothing else for him now though, so he follows Rick once again, down the long road to who knows what. Noah says he's from somewhere where there's walls, and Daryl thinks maybe that's good enough, maybe they ignore the capital and go straight there instead. It'll be safer for Lil' Asskicker, might even give Carl a chance to be a kid again for awhile. Daryl knows there's no going back though, Carl has seen too much, done too much, he'll never get to be a teenager, not really. Sometimes when Daryl thinks on it, it reminds him of his own life, but he tries not to think on it too much.

Daryl wants to believe there'll be safety for their sake, but he doubts he'll ever place his trust in walls again, not after what the governor did to theirs. He'll keep his crossbow close to hand and be ready to run, but he'll hope anyway, because isn't that what she taught him?

Wouldn't kill you to have a little faith

He'd thought of her as he crossed the Georgia state line, one less point he can make if he ever plays that stupid game again. It should have been with her by his side, a quick glance and a quirk of the mouth, a secret the others would never know. He's thought of her every step of the way and wondered what she'd think about this journey. She'd have hope, he knows it, that this could be their place for birthdays and summer picnics. Maybe that has to be his hope now, his reason for living, to find that for the rest of their family and then help them keep it. He needs a purpose, and that one's as good as any.

Since her suicide attempt, Maggie's not been left alone with any weapons. Glenn carries a spare gun with him for her in case they're attacked, and she carries a machete while on the road, but come nightfall she's watched carefully. She hasn't spoken to Daryl since that night, hasn't so much as looked at him, and he wonders whether it's because she hates him or she's too embarrassed to do so. She keeps to herself mostly, though Tara tries to draw her out of her shell. She pushes Glenn away whenever he comes to comfort her, won't speak to him, and Daryl wonders how long she can keep it up for.

Carol has been sticking close to him since the confrontation with Maggie, as if ready to deflect any further attacks on his behalf. Daryl doesn't need it, but if it gives her some purpose then he's fine with that, better than her getting stuck in the past, thinking on her own troubles.

Today they're walking at the back of the group and she keeps glancing over at him, as if she's fixing to say something.

"Spill it," Daryl mutters, meeting her gaze the next time she looks over.

Carol's expression changes to one of surprise and then she looks at him earnestly, searching his face.

"It was her, wasn't it?" Carol asks him, "It was her that changed you."

Daryl doesn't need to ask who she means, there's only one possible person. He's avoided talking about her for so long, but this is Carol, who's been one of his closest friends for years now. Carol, who knows more than a bit about changing herself.

"Hmmm," Daryl makes a sound of agreement, before ducking his head to look down at his shoes, "Showed me it was okay to, that I could leave some of it behind."

Carol nods, but her face shows that same tired sadness that it does so often these days, as if she's thinking on another time and other people. "Some things you can't leave behind."

Daryl shrugs, "Some things," he agrees with her, "But you gotta try."

He knows it has something to do with Lizzie and Mika, but he's not quite sure he wants to know what happened. They're dead, he knows that much without needing to be told. He doesn't want those ghost stories added to the ones already inside of him.

Then Carol smiles, even though it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Beth was good for you," Carol comments, shaking her head slightly. "Would never have guessed it, before. But she was, and I'm sure... That you were good for her too."

Daryl ain't so sure of that, but he knows that before he lost her he was trying. He's still trying.

He can't go back to how he was before, he can't erase those parts of him that she did change, those cracks that she managed to fill in. So a week after their confrontation he goes to Maggie, jerking his head at Glenn as he makes his way over to show he wants to speak to her in private.

She's on the edge of the group as usual, sticking to the shadows, so privacy's not all that hard. He crouches down beside where she's sitting cross legged, her expression both nervous and defiant as she looks at him, and begins to speak.

"She missed you. Said she missed you bossing her around. Thought of you... Always thought you were alive and she'd get to see you again." He clears his throat, notices the tears welling in Maggie's eyes. "Beth wanted good things for you, wanted you to have a life, wanted you and Glenn to have a baby. Loved you something fierce." He pauses, reaches out and touches the edge of her jacket sleeve for a moment. "If you don't want to live for yourself, do it for her, live like she wanted."

Maggie doesn't say anything as he stands, making his way over to his pile of belongings, planning to gather his crossbow and survey the area. He turns to look at her before leaving, to see her sobbing, Glenn gathering her into his arms and this time, Maggie doesn't push him away.

Daryl nods once at Rick and fades into the forest, the stars lighting his way.

He can't put Beth away, not like everything else, but maybe that's for the best. Maybe he needs to carry her, heavy upon him, to be that man she believed him to be.

A/N: A huge thank you to everyone who left such lovely reviews, particularly the two guests who I couldn't reply to. You make me so excited to write and update :)