"You had breakfast already?" Beth asks it softly, to break the sudden silence between her and Maggie, as she picks up her own bowl to finish it off.
Maggie nods, "I ate before I came. Glenn was up early for his duty, so he'd made us some."
"The others should be up soon, then we can get going."
Beth can't help but feel anticipation as she says it, to know that today she'll be given a job, her own role in making this community thrive. She hasn't had that since the prison, not really, she refuses to include her experience at Grady in that estimation. That was indentured servitude and not a job.
"Did you sleep well?" Maggie asks, her tone concerned, as she looks at Beth intently. "It's a new place, there's a lot of things to adjust to."
"I slept better than I have in months," Beth tells her, "I'd forgotten what it felt like to feel safe, to not always have to be on my guard. I knew you were all nearby, and I let myself sleep properly for once."
Maggie's face brightens into a smile for a moment before it suddenly falls, tears coming to her eyes. "Oh Bethy, I missed you so much."
Putting down her bowl, Beth crosses to her sister and hugs her, her hands making soothing circles on Maggie's back until she calms, then Beth leads them both to the sofa.
"I knew you'd make it," Beth tells Maggie, unable to help the sad smile that comes to her lips as she remembers heated discussions with Daryl, "You and Glenn, I always knew I'd see you again, I never lost hope."
She doesn't understand why it is that Maggie's expression once again crumples, why it is that she sobs, placing her head in her hands for several long moments before she calms herself.
"What is it, Maggie?"
"You were far stronger than me, Beth," Maggie announces, her voice wavering, "I didn't... I didn't allow myself to hope that you'd made it. I thought it would hurt more, if I found you hadn't, so I tried not to think about you, about what could have happened to you. Even after Daryl told me you were alive, I still didn't let myself hope, the chances were so small that we'd ever find you again. I just... I tried to forget, so that I wouldn't have to think about how I failed you. I should've stayed with you that day at the prison, we should never have separated. I'm so sorry, Beth, I'm sorry I gave up on you."
It stings, the knowledge that Maggie had given her up for dead. Beth had wondered why she hadn't been there at the exchange that day, and now she thinks that she finally knows. Beth understands though, even if she wishes she didn't. The girl she was at the prison... Very few people would have expected that girl to survive, especially not on her own. That girl had yet to go through her trial by fire, had yet to realise for herself that she could make it, that she could survive. How many runs had Beth been on compared to Maggie, and how many walkers had she killed? Her family had tried to keep her safe, had believed that she needed protection, and that without it she wouldn't last a day.
Yet Beth is still standing, when so many others aren't.
"It's okay Maggie, it's..." Beth struggles to find the words, to absolve her sister of the guilt she feels. Maggie's easy acceptance of the possibility of Beth's death might hurt, but she's not going to waste the days she has, precious days, in holding a grudge that she's been underestimated. It still stings, somewhere deep inside her, but Beth has to let it go, has to allow them both to move on.
"It's hard to hold onto faith when there's no evidence, when everything seems hopeless. We've found each other again and that's what matters."
"Oh Beth," Maggie sighs heavily, but Beth can see there's a weight off her shoulders, that she's allowed herself to let some of the guilt go, "How can you still be so good after everything? How can you still let yourself believe?"
"Because I have to, because there's no point to living otherwise." She still believes it, as thoroughly as she had before everything went to pieces, perhaps even more so now.
Maggie is drying her eyes when Morgan emerges from his room, Ash a couple of minutes later.
"There's some oatmeal waiting for you in the pot, should still be warm." Beth announces, and Morgan nods his thanks, heading into the kitchen.
"Thanks, mom!" Ash tells her cheekily, pausing to do her boots up before she heads to the kitchen. "Daryl left already?"
"He had work," Beth replies, not stopping to question how Ash had known he'd stayed over, "Which is where we need to be headed to next, Maggie's taking us."
The girl nods, and heads towards her breakfast, as Beth turns back to Maggie who has been watching the exchange thoughtfully.
"There are more things that we need to talk about, Maggie," Beth says, reaching out and squeezing her sister's hand, "We'll sit down after we get our jobs sorted, just you and me."
The look that Beth gives her is laden with meaning, and she wonders if Maggie knows what she wants to talk about, if there's things that Maggie's wanting to ask her too. It's better done away from the others, especially if Beth is to get to the bottom of what occurred between Daryl and Maggie while she was gone.
Ten minutes later Morgan and Ash are done, the dishes all washed and put away. They follow Maggie down the main street to the town's administrative centre, where their fates are to be decided.
Morgan goes first, and knowing him for so many weeks now, Beth isn't surprised by what he requests.
"I'd like to use the safe zone as a base, but to be able to come and go. My mission is to clear... To clear as many of these walkers as I can, to make the world safe again. I need to go where I can do that best. I'll clear the nearest towns first, then take it from there."
Surprisingly Douglas agrees. He tells them that Rick's spoken to him already, and told him about Morgan's mission, that clearing the nearby towns can't be anything other than a blessing for the safe zone.
It's Ash's turn next, and she's given a choice between assisting the stores keeper, or helping with the community farm and animals. She chooses the farm with a shrug, stating that she's aways preferred to be outdoors. Beth can't help but be relieved, knowing that she'll be with Rick and Carl. Let the girl regain some of her childhood, let her stay protected behind the walls for as long as she can. Beth will insist that she continues to train, but at least this will give her peace of mind.
Then it's Beth's turn, and as Douglas begins to outline her choices, Beth interrupts him.
"I want to volunteer to work with the scavengers and recruiters."
She sees him sizing her up and knows he doubts her, that he probably thinks she'd also be better off with a job behind the walls.
"Beth, are you sure?" Maggie asks, "You could volunteer for guard duty instead, work with Sasha, Rosita and I."
"I'm sure." Beth states firmly, "I want to do this, I'm good at it. I know how to get in and out of places quickly, how to get what we need, how to survive. I can be an asset."
With one long last appraising look, Douglas finally agrees, and they are all told where they need to assemble for work the next day. Morgan will work with the scavenging and walker clearing team for the time being, until he's ready to move on.
Their work complete, Beth tells Ash and Morgan that she'll see them later, that she and Maggie need to spend some time catching up. Her two companions leave to wander the town while Beth and Maggie head back to Maggie's apartment, now empty with the other inhabitants at their jobs.
Maggie makes them some tea, from a real teabag no less. They share one bag between two cups and there's no sugar or milk, but Beth treasures it nonetheless, cupping the warm mug between both her palms like a precious object.
They sip their tea in silence for a moment, while Beth thinks of how to begin.
"Daryl said that you had a rough time, that you took my death hard. He didn't say any more than that, but I hope... I hope you've been healing."
"I blamed myself," Maggie whispers, looking down at the cup in her hands, "I blamed myself for not looking for you, I blamed myself for running off on a fool's errand to DC when I should've been there for you, should've been at the exchange. I was sure I could've stopped you, if I'd only been there. I felt so guilty, and I just wanted to die, I tried... But they stopped me, wouldn't let me. I pushed everyone away, pushed Glenn away. I'm lucky he wouldn't give up, just kept on trying."
"Oh Maggie..." Beth feels her own guilt then, for what Maggie went through after believing her dead, for what Daryl went through, for the grief that they all must have felt over her passing. She has to let it go though, she has to move past it even as they do. Everything that occurred is past now, and she's sitting here, in an apartment in a safe zone, drinking tea with her sister. As impossible as it seems she has made it to this point and all of that is behind her.
"It wasn't just Glenn, was it?" Beth asks hesitantly then, "Something happened with Daryl, didn't it? I've noticed the way you are with him now, that you two don't talk."
"You asked him?"
"All he would say is that you both said some things," Beth pauses, fixes Maggie with a serious look, "I'm asking you now, Maggie."
"I snapped," Maggie admits, and Beth notices the guilt in her eyes, the embarrassment, "It was just after I'd tried to kills myself, and he told me some hard truths, I said some terrible things to him in return. I didn't mean them, not really, but... It was so hard, Beth. I'd lost you, and there he was, acting like he had just as much of a right to grieve as me, and I hated it. Yet he wouldn't talk about you, after. I wanted to know, and it frustrated me that he wouldn't say anything, so I lashed out."
"What did you say?" Beth dreads the answer, can almost imagine the confrontation, another burden placed on a weary soul.
"I asked him if he'd... If he'd traded protecting you for something else, if that was why he thought he had a right to grieve."
Beth's intake of breath is sharp, her expression horrified as she fixes Maggie under her stare. "Daryl would never. After this much time together, you think he could do that? Think he's that sort of man? You don't know him at all. Men like that... I know men like that, and you could think... Maggie, how could you? How could you ever accuse him of that?"
"I know now, I know that I just... I was hurting, and when he tried to talk me down I wanted to hurt him too, to provoke him. I wanted to know why he thought he had the right to share my grief."
"He had every right." Beth's tone is cold, angry. She knows that Maggie has been through a great deal, but Daryl never deserved such treatment. After everything he's done for everyone, including Maggie, the accusation must have been like a knife to his gut. "I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for him. After the prison fell, it was just the two of us, we had to rely on each other, trust each other. I know we both learned so much during that time, that we both grew to understand each other. He tried so hard to keep me safe, and when he lost me... He had every right, Maggie, and he didn't need to explain anything to you or to anybody else."
She could add more, but chooses not to. How at least Daryl had looked for her, not only after her abduction, but later too. At least he had never abandoned faith, believing that she was alive even before they found Grady and Noah to confirm it.
"I know, I know that now... But I don't know how to make it right, Beth."
Beth can tell that Maggie is genuinely sorry, that she's long since realised her mistake. That by itself doesn't change things though, someone needs to take the first step towards fixing things between them. Beth doesn't want them to be at odds, the two people who are dearest to her. Life is far too short for that.
"I've heard that sometimes apologies do wonders, Maggie." Beth tells her, quirking an eyebrow, and watches as Maggie first stares at her and then begins to laugh.
"Lord, how I've missed you, Bethy."
They'll be alright now, Beth knows they will be. They'll all be alright.
It doesn't surprise her that when Daryl comes back from work he comes searching for her, knocking hesitantly at the door to her shared apartment, where she and Maggie have long since moved to, chatting with Ash about her perceptions of the township.
"How'd it go?" He asks once she lets him in, a gentle hand on his forearm to greet him, even as he steps forward, slightly into her space, as if he wishes he could claim more from her on his return after a long day apart. It isn't time as yet, but Beth allows herself to think about the day when it will be, when after a day apart she can step forward, rise on her toes to place a kiss on his lips.
"I'm joining the scavenging and walker clearing team," she tells him, and it would be impossible to miss the pride that she sees in his eyes at that statement.
"Gonna need to get you some good weapons," Daryl states, his gruff tone not able to hide the happiness she can so clearly hear, "Rick's got a compound bow we picked up, figure it could do well for you. Time we started your lessons again?"
"Really?" Beth can't help but grin, she'd finally been getting decent with the crossbow when they'd separated, and while she'll never be as proficient as Daryl, she feels like it's something she could be good at one day. The other part is that the lessons will give allow them some time alone, some time to regain the momentum they had before her abduction, moving clearly towards something.
"I'll get it from him, can get some practice in tomorrow after your first day." Daryl jerks his chin towards Ash then, "What's Pippy Longstockings over there been assigned?"
Ash flips him the finger from her place on the couch next to Maggie. "I'm going to be working in the farm, looking after the animals mostly."
Daryl nods then, takes another step forward as if to join them on one of the other chairs before he stops, changing his mind. "It's a good job, need to keep up your training though. Don't forget all that Beth and Morgan have taught you."
The rest remains unspoken, that she'll need it if they ever need to run, that working in the farm will keep her safe for now, but now is not forever.
Ash nods, smiling at him as she agrees and Daryl clears his throat, "Best get going, my turn to make the dinner tonight, don't want Carl mouthing off at me if it's late. Will call you over when it's done."
Beth gives Maggie a pointed look and her sister pushes herself up from the couch, stepping forward awkwardly. "I'll walk with you, Daryl? Wanted to talk to you about something."
It's clear that he's surprised, but with a shrug he gives his agreement before turning to leave. He touches Beth's arm as he does so, just the tiniest nudge, and she brushes her fingers against his, not caring who might see.
"We'll be over for dinner later." Beth promises him, before stepping back to watch as he and Maggie exit the room together, her sister's posture tense in preparation for the apology she must make.
She knows that Maggie will do the right thing now, that it's time to admit she was wrong. Beth knows she'll do it, because if nothing else, Maggie will do it for her.
There's deer for dinner, a portion of the animal that he's brought down while on duty, while the rest has been distributed among the other families. Daryl has made a simple stew with the meat, vegetables mixed in, but it reminds Beth of the prison, of the communal kitchen there that Carol used to preside over.
It turns out that their group usually eats dinner together, pooling their rations to prepare the best meals possible and taking turns to cook. Beth can't help but notice the difference tonight from the night before, the easing of tensions among her family. Maggie smiles at Daryl and thanks him as she takes the bowl from him, and he nods his head simply in return. Morgan and Rick chat amongst themselves, Michonne occasionally contributing something to the conversation, while Ash has joined Carl in taking turns to amuse Judith.
Beth divides her time amongst them all, catching up with those from the prison and getting to know the newcomers. She finds her interactions with Eugene a bit awkward as the man stares at her, a little too long, until Daryl suddenly appears at her side, hand on her elbow and leading her away with a mumbled excuse that Beth can't quite make sense of.
"Thanks," she whispers once he's led her out to the small balcony, settling himself into one corner, hunching over with his hands tucked into his armpits, "I wasn't quite sure what I should say to him once he'd ask me to confirm that I wasn't a lesbian like Tara."
Daryl snorts at that.
"Typical Eugene. He's harmless, just annoying is all. Let me know if he gives you any trouble."
"And what are you going to do about it, Daryl Dixon?"
Her tone is light, almost flirtatious, and she's proud of herself in that moment, even if it is a small step. She's still working out how to redefine things between them, how to ensure that he knows she's ready, that she's waiting for him. This is only the second day back with him, but Beth is already certain, she already knows what she wants. She's had long weeks on the road to think it over, to make her decisions and understand what it is that she feels. Beth knows, and yet she doesn't feel the need to rush. They both need time to renegotiate their relationship, to evolve into something more. Let it happen as it was meant to, let it happen in its own time.
His lips quirk, recognising her teasing, and he raises his eyes to look into hers. "I dunno. Somethin' though. Can't have anyone make you feel uncomfortable."
She steps forward, into his space, hands jammed into her jeans pockets as she rocks back and forth on the balls of her feet.
"I feel safe as long as you're around. I know you won't let anything happen to me."
She lets it hang there in the air between them for a moment, heavy, as Daryl meets her eyes, his gaze piercing, before he looks down at his boots once again, scoffing.
"Did a fine job of that, before."
"Hey," she steps forward, reaching one hand out to place it on his arm, still crossed tightly against his chest, "That wasn't your fault, not either time. None of it was your fault, and you need to know that, you need to believe that."
He nods, once and slowly, but Beth knows that it will take time for the words to truly sink in, for him to accept them.
"Will you come over tonight?" Beth asks him then, unable to keep the hope out of her tone.
"Mmhmm," he confirms, and Beth smiles, squeezing his arm lightly before stepping away, smiling at him over her shoulder as she re-enters the apartment to join the others.
Daryl waits until the others have all gone back to their own homes, finding her in the living room where she sits chatting with Ash, an old paperback novel in the girl's hand that she's borrowed from Rosita.
Beth watches the way he fills up her doorway awkwardly, one shoulder set against the frame, hands jammed in his pockets like he doesn't know what to do with them.
"C'mon," Beth tells him, standing up and holding out her hand. He comes forward slowly, almost shyly, but there is no hesitation in the hand that reaches out to take hers, fingers intertwining.
"'Night, Ash, don't stay up too late. Remember we've got our first day of work in the morning."
"Same back at you." Ash responds with a raised eyebrow, and Beth resists the urge to stick her tongue out at the girl, reminding herself that she is an adult now.
She leads him into her room and shuts the door behind them, crossing over to her pack and rummaging through it as he stands there, eyes fixed on anything except her.
"I haven't gotten around to unpacking yet," she tells him, for something to say to break the silence.
"Me neither," Daryl admits, taking a step closer to her, "Hadn't felt right... before. Maybe now though, maybe it's time."
Beth thinks she understands exactly what it is that he's trying to say, she thinks that the both of them have finally found what it was they were waiting for, what they needed to make a home.
Beth turns towards him, holding out the folded piece of fabric she has retrieved from her bag.
"When I saw it, it was like a sign, I knew I'd bring it back to you. All the way here, I'd wear it at night while I kept watch, or slept, kept me warm from the cold. It gave me hope, I'd I could find it, then I'd definitely find you all again."
Daryl takes the poncho from her, staring down at it for a moment before he looks up at her again.
"Where'd you find this?"
"Saw it almost as soon as we entered Terminus, right there like it was waiting for me."
"Must have been Glenn," Daryl muses, "Grabbed it from the prison before he left."
Beth nods, and sitting down on the bed she reaches down to pull her boots off, lining them up to the side where she can reach them easily. That done, she scoots herself up the bed so that she's leaning against the headboard, her feet tucked under her. Daryl stays standing where he is, the poncho in his hands as he runs his thumb over the fibres thoughtfully, even as his gaze stays on Beth instead.
"Come and sit," Beth invites him, and Daryl tilts his head slightly before nodding, bending to take off his own boots, lining them up just as neatly at the foot of the bed before he hoists himself up, settling next to her, his legs outstretched.
"S'comfortable."
"Yours isn't?"
There is a pause as he looks away, down towards his sock covered feet, a couple of toes poking through holes.
"Haven't used it, just didn't..." he turns to her then, and Beth is almost taken aback by the raw pain on his face as he looks at her. Daryl takes a deep, shuddering breath in before he continues, "Was too soft, too... Too comfortable. Reminded me that I'd made it here, and left you behind lying on a cold church floor."
Beth reaches over to touch his face, cupping his cheek, and he turns into it, still awkward but slightly less hesitant now, willing to accept her comfort.
"But I've made it here now too," she reminds him, curling her hand to stroke his cheekbone lightly with her fingertips.
"You did," he whispers back, "You did."
She makes her decision then, lowers herself so that she's lying on the mattress, then reaches out to grasp his hand. "Lay down with me, Daryl Dixon." she tells him, in a voice that won't accept any refusal, "Lay down and rest."
And he goes willingly, without any word of dissent, lies down beside her with one arm bent back under his head and the one closest to her lying by his side.
Beth blows out the candle by her bedside, snags the blanket and brings it up to cover them both and then she shifts herself closer. Tucking herself into his side, she rests her head on his shoulder and brings her hand up to place over his heart. She can feel it there, beneath her fingertips, pounding away.
There is only a moment's hesitation before Daryl encloses one arm around her shoulders, removing the other from beneath head to cover her hand over his heart.
There is a long, drawn out exhalation of breath, and then as Beth lies there, she can feel the change come, the slowing of his heartbeat, the relaxation of his muscles as he finds his rest.
And Beth closes her eyes, and allows the steady beat beneath her fingers to lull her to sleep.
A/N: I'm sorry it's taken me longer then usual to post, there were a lot of things going on this week and I didn't have as much time as I usually do! Well last week was a bust, but I'm still holding out - let's hope it's this episode! Once again a huge thank you to all the reviewers, you make me want to do my best!
