The days came and gone for what seemed like an eternity for Callie. The excitement of seeing Arizona outside of work grew with every second that passed, but the fear was growing just as fast. Their conversation over the phone didn't go as she had hoped. All Callie wanted was to talk, like normal people. Have a real heart to heart with her love, but the painful memories kept seething through and taking control of what she really wanted to say. And before she knew it, they hung up. Finally, time passed by and it was Sunday.
She stood in front of her mirror smoothing over her blouse that she had specifically bought for today. A little fluff of her curls and touch up of the make-up and she was ready. The brunette sat on the edge of the bed to put her flats on, and when she sat up again she realized who side of the bed she was on is. It had taken Callie weeks to even sleep in their bed again. The feeling of not having Arizona there next to her sleeping soundly rocked her to her core. The first week, Sofia was up every night balling her eyes out for her Mama, not Callie, but Arizona. She had no idea how to explain to the little girl why Mama wasn't able to take away her bad dreams anymore when she woke up in the middle of the night. Or why Mama wasn't able to make her favorite pancakes before she went to daycare. Callie never really thought about how hard it would be to raise a child as a single parent. Even though Sofia was an accident, and Mark wasn't Arizona's first choice to be the father of her child, she was there. She was in from the moment Callie told her in the elevator. Arizona had been there from the beginning. She was always there when Callie needed her. Yes, she cheated on her, basically twice. Yes, she hated Callie's guts for five months after the plane accident. And yes, she was the one who wanted to take a break, but how can two people go through so much and just give up? All in all, Arizona was the one, period.
Gently laying the palm of her left hand on the pillow, she slowly started to caress the little dent where Arizona's head used to lay. Letting her eyes flutter shut, she began to reminisce all the good times they actually had in this bed, their bed. Like when she had to practically force Arizona to open a box when they first moved in, only to reveal a ring Callie had picked out a couple weeks before they moved in. All the love making they made that night, a smile crawled onto her face, making her entire body warm. Or when they decided who was going to carry their next baby. She began to chuckle, 'Oh god, the coin flip.' But her favorite memory was their first real night in the house to themselves. They had been unpacking all day and rearranging their things to make it look and feel like home. After they ordered and ate their dinner, Callie heard Arizona bust out into laughter….
"Arizona? Where are.." She suddenly came to a halt when she saw her wife spread eagle on the bedroom floor.
Still laughing, "WE FORGOT OUR BED!" Wiping the tears away she sat up to look at Callie, who was probably confused to where she even left her bed. "Callie… Our bed? Where are we going to sleep tonight?'
Suddenly Callie's dumbfounded look turned into a wide grin, "I have an idea.. Stay here!" Quickly spinning around on the balls of her feet, she rustles through some of the un-opened boxes and decides to just throw the entire box into the room next to Arizona.
"Callie what the hell are you doing?"
"Just wait!" Her search continues. Next, she grabs all of their dining room chairs and starts to surround Arizona with them. Opening the box, she grabs their comforter and throws it over the tops of the chairs in one swift move. Arizona just sat there quietly, knowing if she interrupted Calliope now she might get her head chewed off. But man, was she mesmerized by the way Callie was moving. The sway of her hips, the cute way she was biting her bottom lip, and just how into all this she was. They hadn't been this happy in a very long time.
"Callie, it's getting dark in here. The more blankets you put up, the more night lights I'm going to need.." The blonde said in a mocking tone and continued to giggle, it was probably the cutest site she had ever seen.
"Done! No, wait. Hold on one more thing!" Again sprinting out of the room except this time returning with one of Arizona's lava lamps. Plugging it into the nearest outlet and setting it as close to their tent as possible, she tackled her wife into the fortress.
"Ahh! Callie! No!" Their little wrestling match quickly turned into heated kisses, then to a slow passionate make-out. Callie was the first to break the kiss, but their moment didn't end. Chocolate brown orbs gazed into deep blue. No words were spoken, no movements, just complete and utter bliss. Just being in the arms of their love was more than enough to just be.
"I love you, Calliope. More than you will ever know." Arizona brushed away a strand of hair out Callie's face, and whispered, "Forever.."
"Forever."
A tear fell fast down her cheek. How much she would give to have that simple moment back. Walking away might have been the single most idiotic thing she had ever done. Lately, everything she did, whether it was sleeping or showering or eating or even working, reminded her of Arizona. Today though, was the day she would take that baby step and right everything she made wrong.
Arizona could hear the crackle of a car pulling up into the drive. Suddenly the blonde got really nervous. Her heart started to pound in her chest like footsteps of an Olympic runner on a track. Palms became clammy and even her hands started to shake a little. 'Arizona Robbins, get yourself together' she mumbled while giving herself a mental smack on the face. She picked up Sofia's little rainbow book-bag and headed downstairs, only to see the most beautiful site.
"Mommy!" Sofia raced over to Callie, falling into her arms ungracefully.
"Hi baby girl, how was your weekend?" The Latina said in between kisses and hugs.
"It was AWESOME!" emphasizing the last word, turning her head slightly towards her Mama and tried a subtle wink. Callie chuckled realizing what she had just said and connected eyes with her blonde shaking her head sarcastically,
"Yupp. She is definitely your daughter!" That statement made both of them laugh, and made Arizona finally come off the steps. She couldn't take her eyes off Callie. Breathtakingly stunning didn't even do her justice. She was dressed in tight black skinny jeans and cute flats, Arizona always loved Callie in tight anything, with a deep blue blouse that accentuated her chest. Which looked better now than she had been imagining. Her favorite part was Callie's hair, flowing freely around her face in big curls. She just looked so young and careless. Arizona could feel her finger tips tingle, and a slight moan slipped from her lips.
Calliope was afraid to really look at Arizona. She was afraid that once she did, not even Sofia would stop her from attacking the blonde's mouth. But when she did, butterflies filled her stomach, "God you look beautiful." The words came out of her mouth so fast she didn't know if she really had said them or not. The blush that crept along Arizona's cheeks though, confirmed it. She was wearing a black lace top with dark blue jeans, and a pair of red pumps, Calliope's favorite pair. Her hair in loose beach waves that looked like had been kissed by the sun. But her dimples were the things she missed most, and boy were they out today.
"Thank you.. I was thinking the same thing. I mean about you of course." A nervous laugh made its way into the already awkward atmosphere. It quickly vanished when blue eyes locked with brown, it was like they were falling in love all over again. All it really took the first time was one look, and a kiss in a dirty bar bathroom. Maybe that's what they needed, that rush of whether or not the plan they had devised to get the other would work. The excitement of being a new couple, or just the rekindling of their passion for each other.
"Thank you.." Drawing in a long breath, "Well are we ready to go?" The Latina plastered a smile onto her face, even though she was dreading the fact that they were looking somewhere for Arizona to live, without her.
"YES!" Sofia said enthusiastically, while trying to squirm out of Callie's arms.
"Actually me and Sofia went and looked at a few yesterday, but weren't really satisfied, were we Pumpkin?" Arizona glanced down at her daughter who was trying really hard to focus on re-tying her shoe.
"Mama said they were too small, just in case. Ooo! We got ice cream and brownies when we got done! That was my favorite part!" Her mom's laughed as she got even more serious about defeating the evil wrath of her shoe laces.
Callie looked up at Arizona again, "Just in case for what?"
"Oh uhh, you know… Just in case.. Sofia has a friend come over or something." In her mind her reason was just in case her and Callie worked this out and wanted a new home. Although Callie's mind was reeling, she thought it was just in case Arizona found someone new and needed the extra space between the walls. This infuriated her, and within a split second Arizona's hand was on Callie's forearm.
"There's no one else." It was like she read the brunette's mind, and instantly the brunette relaxed. Except it wasn't for the words, it was because Arizona had finally touched her. As fast as her hand was on her arm though, it was off again. Leaving Callie feeling hollow.
Clearing her throat and trying to act like that wasn't the first thing that flew out of her brain, the Latina asked, "So then I guess I'll just take Sofia home then, she needs to get a good night sleep anyways, I have an early shift.." Her eyes darting everywhere but at her wife, trying to conceal the hurt she was feeling.
"I figured we could go to the park? It isn't every day we get amazing weather like today." The blonde trying to persuade Callie before she walked out on her, again.
"Yes! Yes! Yeeeeeeeeeeessssss! Mommy can we go! Please, please, pleasseeee!" Sofia gave up on her shoe and was jumping with joy, hoping to get her Mommy to agree.
"Sounds like a plan Stan!" Callie said knowing how her daughter was going to react. She hated when her Mommy said it only because she really thought Callie forgot her name.
"Mommy. You know my name is not Stan.." The little girl said crossing her arms and stomping her foot.
"Are you sure?" Sofia just stared with disgust, "Okay, let's go to the park then!"
Both Sofia and Arizona lit up and clapped their hands together, making Callie smile from ear to ear. Those were her girls, and they always would be.
Arizona and Callie sat on one of the park benches as Sofia played on the playset with the other children. They were only inches apart, and both so desperately wanted to just reach over grab the others hand and intertwine their fingers. That was normal for them, But the feeling of restraining themselves from a little thing so natural was slowly killing them.
The blonde acted like she needed to adjust her leg a little, so she stood up and when she sat back down their thighs were touching. Making both women gasp and still, taking in the warmth they missed so much. Neither of them had intimacy with another person since the separation, it was all foreign to them again.
"Callie?" Arizona managed to finally get out.
"I know. But can we just wait. Not here, not now. I just want to enjoy this for a second."
They both knew what was coming. The big talk. It scared them senseless, not knowing how the other was feeling or wanted to do. This time it was Arizona's eyes that got foggy. This was all too much for her, sitting here with the love of her life watching their beautiful creation be happy and carefree. Her bottom lip started to quiver, and as she lifted her hand to rub her pink nose, she felt another hand cup her cheek. Arizona closed her eyes, and pretended like it wasn't happening. Her heart would stop beating for sure if this wasn't real, but then Callie rested her other hand on top of the blonde's thigh.
"I need you to look at me Arizona. I need you to look at me and tell me that this isn't just something I'm making up in my head… Actually, I know this isn't in my head because if it were we would be back in OUR home. In OUR bed. I would be able to touch you whenever I wanted, and talk to you without becoming all flustered. I…I would be able to wake up to you every morning and fall asleep looking at you every night. I wouldn't have to shower alone, or watch our favorite movies that come on television alone. Because you would be there, Arizona. And that's all I need. Is you.. So no. I know this isn't something I'm making up… Just.. Please tell me." All at once it poured out, and she couldn't help it. Seeing Arizona cry was the worst thing she could ever imagine. The best part of it all though, was that she didn't regret saying any of it. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted Arizona back in her life. Sitting here looking at the beauty in her arms only confirmed everything she had been holding back.
But Arizona wasn't answering, and she wasn't looking at Callie. She kept her head down and tried to soak in everything her wife had just said. Except the only thing that would come out was, "You walked out on me…"
