Author's note: This chapter might be a trigger for some, please be careful.

Chapter 5

Hermione sat in the bathtub that first evening of classes with her head in her hands, her whole body wanting to cry, but numbness prevented her from feeling anything but alone. She missed Ronald. She longed from someone to hold her and rock her to sleep, someone who would fight off the nightmares and calm her spirit. She wanted a dreamless sleep that wasn't medicated. She wanted someone to realise she didn't want to live her life emotionless any longer.

Her uniform was soaking, clinging to her bony frame as she hugged herself. The warmth of the water was supposed to be a solace, but now she felt trapped. As soon as dinner had ended, where she hadn't eaten, she fled behind tapestries and up hidden staircases until she was alone, in the bathroom fighting off the thoughts of how difficult it would be for someone to drown them self. She turned on the boiling hot tap, sat on the step and waited for the water to cover her as to make her feel as though she was being held. Her shoes became tight and she felt like they were helping hold her together.

Time seemed to slow, and what felt like an hour was in reality merely minutes. The water levels rose to her waist, and she pushed off the step and fully submerged in the heat. She floated along the surface, her bony and scarred skin sticking to the air. Her tie felt like a noose and she enjoyed the feeling, and then thought about had sadistic the war had made her. She felt purposeless; useless in the retribution she was supposed to bring to the school.

She drew her wand out of her pocket and pointed it at her temple. She closed her eyes and prayed a silent prayer.

"Stupefy," she whispered.

Draco pushed on the door, panic rising in his chest. The stairway was flooded and steam rose up around everywhere.

"Granger!" he cried, panicked at the ominous scene of water that lay before him.

It was half an hour after dinner and he'd only just returned from assisting first years to their common rooms, who were lost and confused as to how to get to bed.

Water trickled down the stairs into their common room, soaking the carpet at its feet, and he panicked as he remembered Hermione's ghostly look at dinner the night before. He recalled he dazed state; how she walked and talked like she was in a dream. And it did feel like a dream, coming home to the school. Weren't they supposed to be graduated by now? Earning a living? Instead death had followed them for a year, haunting them. Taunting their sleep.

He ran at a speed that had been lost to him since fifth grade; he climbed the stairs three at a time and reached the source of the boiling water, barred from entry by a heavy set door- the door to the bathroom.

"Hermione! Are you okay? Hermione, please, answer me!" He yelled so fiercely. He had to protect her. He was pressed against the wooden door, trying to get as close to her as possible, banging on the timber with his palm. "Hermione please." A small sob escaped his lips as the door broke the threshold, and he fell into the room.

The water was deep at his ankles, warm like an embrace. In the centre of the room was the pool. And floating in the middle was Hermione, her lips blue and stiff.

Draco ran and threw himself into the bathtub and brought Hermione into his arms. She couldn't die. She was his only friend. His light these last couple of months.

There was no breath in her lips as he pulled her to his chest. He pushed her hair out of her face and looked into her vein-traced eyelids.

"Hermione?" he whispered. "Can you hear me?"

He looked at her for what he saw. She was cold, despite the heat. She was blue and stiff. She was fully clothed and on the brink of death. He grabbed her waist and pulled her to the edge of the tub, gently but efficiently. He climbed up beside her, slipping as he looked at how her hair clung to her head, flat and unlike the natural way he knew.

"Stay with me Granger," he whispered. He tilted her chin back. He placed his hands on her sternum and thrust down with the largest force he could. Again and again and again. Her mouth was devout of colour, and he pinched her nose and covered her usually rose pick lips with his and blew into her mouth with the air capacity of an opera singer. Once. Twice. Compress her chest. Compress her chest. Breath, Brea-

Hermione coughed and rolled to her side, water left her mouth at a force so strong, it was like magic was helping her. Water tumbled out of her mouth for so long, Draco was sure it would be able to fill the usually empty tub.

Hermione lay on her side, breathing deeply. Her eyes were closed but the veins were fading. Draco leant over her, and pushed more of her hair out of her face.

"Hermione? It's okay. I'm here. I'm not going to leave you. I'll fix you. I'll make it all better," he spoke, so quietly Hermione wouldn't have heard her from the other side of the room. But he was so close to her. He leant over her and thanked someone, some cosmic being, for her survival.

"I'm going to carry you to bed, okay? I won't leave you." He pulled her into his arms, her body carrying more life than minutes before hand. He scooped her up and cradled her head and knees. He sloshed to the stairs and dripped the whole way, up to her room where he toed the door open and he laid her down on her curtained bed.

"We need to put you in clean clothes, Hermione," he gently said. "Is it okay if I change you?"

She nodded her consent, and he paced over to her chest of drawers, squeaking as he trode. He uncovered panties and pyjamas, with some socks, and turned back to her, where she lay with her eyes closed, chest heaving, still slightly breathless. He noticed a purple bruise forming on her chest where he pushed life back into her silent heart.

"I'm going to change your top first," he told her softly, reaching out and unbuttoning her school shirt. He tugged off her tie, realising she still wore it, and went back to the buttons of her see-through top. He worked her arms out of it and got her free of the fabric, tossing it aside. "I have to take off your bra, Hermione. I'm sorry but it's hurting your skin. It's all red from it."

She opened her eyes to a squint and looked at his earnest look of completely safe intentions. He was going to fix her. He looked into her eyes so brown and sad, and a tear slipped down his cheek without permission. He rubbed it off. "I need to take it off."

Her voice was harsh and raspy when she said softly "It's okay Draco."

She sat forward and his hands wound behind her bareback and undid her clasp. As soon as the bra loosened a little she aid back down, breathless again from the exertion.

Draco slid the straps down her arms and averted his gaze as he exposed her chest. "I'm sorry."

She looked at him again tiredly, barely awake. "It's okay, Draco. I need your help. You need to look, I get that."

His eyes were shiny, pooling tears. He felt like he was violating her, as though this was a sacred moment in the making of Hermione's future life. He felt as though he was intruding into a part of her life that was shaping the women she needed to become. He turned to her pile of clothes and retrieved her singlet from the pile. She held her arms up in the air, and Draco slid the fabric down her arms. He helped he lean forward and pulled it the rest of the way down. His fingers skimmed parts of her he felt disgusting for touching, but she reassured him with a small, grateful smile that it was okay.

He turned to her feet and untied her black shoes, slipping them off one at a time, then her thick socks. Now her feet were bare, all that remained was the waist-below clothing. "Hermione, you need to stand love."

He helped her stand, and she held onto the wooden post of her bed, her knuckles so white. She was swaying slightly as Draco unzipped her skirt and it slipped to the floor. He tugged down her panties and helped her step out of them; he kept his eyes cast away the whole time, using touch rather than sight. He grabbed her hand and led her down the end of the bed to the other post, away from the pile of soaking clothes. She held onto the post as he slipped on her panties, then her warm pyjama pants. She sat back in bed and he scooped up her feet and pulled her last remaining item on, her socks.

"I need to sort some things out, and then I'll be back, okay?" he asked, waiting for her to confirm if it was okay.

"Thank you, Draco. You saved my life," she confessed, eyes closed and hair still wet.

He picked up her wet clothes and shoes and went back down the stairs. He dropped them on the landing floor of the bathroom and went into the bathroom, where he turned off the still running tap. He drained the bath, and used a hot air charm to dry the floors of the common room and bathroom. He then turned the charm on Hermione's and his wet clothes and dried them, before putting hers in the dirty clothes hamper. He quickly went up the stairs, back into Hermione's room.

She weakly patted the bed beside her, and he lay down next to her carefully, now dry. He dried her hair, and combed it as he lay there.

Draco Malfoy vowed to always protect Hermione, and he told her this as he combed out the last knot from her long tangled hair.

"Draco?" Hermione asked quietly, turning to face him. "Will you stay with me tonight? I'm scared to be alone. I won't sleep otherwise. I need you here. I know we are just new at this friend thing, but you're the one who was here for me. I needed someone, and you were there. So will you stay here?"

"Of course Hermione, I vow to protect you, and that means at night as well."

She looked down at her hands and bit her lip; looking up at him she said, "Will you hold me?"

"Are you sure Ron won't mind?" Draco asked.

"He would want me to feel safe, and you make me feel safe."

That was enough for the two friends to turn the lights out. Draco stripped off his school wear and climbed under the covers in his trunks. He wrapped his arm around Hermione's waist and pulled her up against him. She wrapped her arm around his waist, laid her head on his strong shoulder and fell asleep immediately. That was the first night she slept without dreams for a very long time.