Progress! This chapter was a long time in coming but the ending is well-deserved. As a bonus, check out "Kindle my heart" from A Little Princess soundtrack- either the version sung by Abigail Doyle or Liesel Matthews (I personally prefer this one). I think it's the perfect love theme for Aaron and Marta.
"Which owes the other most? my love was long,
And yours one moment seemed to wax more strong;
I loved and guessed at you, you construed me
And loved me for what might or might not be –"
-Christina Rossetti, "I loved you first: but afterwards your love"
Normal. He didn't even know the word anymore. While he was chased by Outcome, Aaron glimpsed the normal that was other peoples' lives and wished he could know it himself. He could see it right now, just beyond his grasp… his gaze swept over an expansive garden approvingly although he noticed the weeds that still waited to be pulled. After his pursuit by a government agency, weeds were a welcome adversary. He headed for the ranch house, tired and sweaty to rinse the dirt off his hands.
"It looks like it's almost ready." Marta handed him a glass of water, leaning to look out the window at their coming harvest. "Two weeks?"
"One week probably," he finished the glass and set it down, his hands coming to rest protectively on her swollen stomach. "I bet it's another girl."
"Another girl in your life for you to spoil, Aaron Cross?" Marta laughed then considered and shook her head. "It doesn't feel the same this time. I think it's a boy."
He grinned, giving her a kiss before heading to the bedroom to check on Jamie. "Five more and we'll have enough to cover the baseball field." He barely ducked the dishcloth that was thrown after him.
"One at a time!" But she was laughing again. He loved to hear her laugh.
Jamie was just waking up and started to fuss when he reached her. "Hey there, little princess," he murmured, swooping her up in his arms. If any of Outcome could said to be worth it, it was every time he held his daughter. An ordinary life, just like everyone else…
He almost hated to glance at his watch and see the precious seconds tick away—he'd promised Marta one normal hour, the one thing he couldn't give her before and wasn't sure he could give her again. In the brief still moments as she leaned into his arms, he could tell it was what she wanted for herself, for him and it hurt to not be able to give her that. When they had the chance for one hour, he didn't even known how normal couples spent time together. Helplessly, he looked to Marta for guidance; she'd at least had a chance for a normal relationship before Outcome took her.
Normal. You can't even be that. You can give her the world, but not the thing she needs most. And he feels it. It burns a hole through his jacket and a voice is nagging that he won't get a better time—they might not have another still moment together.
Four words couldn't be easier. Or harder.
"Really?" Marta looked at him, eyes shining like he'd just handed her the world on a plate. "You'd really—we can—?"
He nodded, giving her a small push to the door. When he thought about it, he was supposed to hate this kind of thing, but it was one of those normal things he'd never done before. "Sure, we've got time." He gave Marta another nudge towards the door, following her as she entered. He was still on the alert though. Nothing could change that. Whether it was a skill or a curse, he could have his gun out and a shot fired in less than a second. As long as it's not the case now…
He smiled while she wandered from rack to rack of designer clothes, her hands trailing over the clothes to feel the differences in fabrics when she passed them.
She picked up a flowing lilac blouse and held it to her torso, looking to Aaron for his opinion. "Yes? No?"
Before he could give an answer, she'd already abandoned the blouse for something new. She's worse than a kid in a toy store, he thought with a small laugh. Then he had an idea. "Hey. If I picked an outfit out, would you try it on?"
Marta stopped, judging between two similar styles of shirts. "Within reason. Nothing too…"
He nodded, eyes already scanning the racks for something he wants to see her wear. It isn't easy; there's a hundred things here he wants to see her model, or at least to give her more time to enjoy herself. "How about you pick a couple things to try and I'll search around and surprise you?"
She faced him, eyebrow raised in mystification. "Now I'm intrigued."
He'd wandered further into the store where the fancy dresses were. Having mulled over the endless possibilities, Aaron had finally chosen a floor-length scarlet gown with a dipped neckline and off-shoulder sleeves adorned with a lace fringe. A slit ran roughly halfway up the side, framed by sequins which journeyed up the length of the dress to adorn the bodice. He'd never seen Marta in heels so for fun he grabbed a pair of four-inch strappy black heels, knowing there was a chance she might want to kill him for it later. Aaron took another look around the nearby racks to make sure it was really going to be this before taking the selection over to the dressing rooms.
Once she'd in the dress, it'll be the perfect time to ask her. There might not be a better chance. So what if she says no; she probably won't. Aaron touched the small circle of metal hidden in his jacket lining. We could make our own normal. It wasn't the dreams of a simple life he often had but it would be better with Marta, she'd made it worthwhile. They could make it work.
It wouldn't be real.
Byer's voice slammed into his mind, forcing him back to reality. It would be real.
You'd give her a hint of normal and maintain it with lies and impossible promises. You can't have the house and simple life.
He clenches his hands. The voices should've gone away.
You could ask her, she might even say yes but what happens when she's pregnant? You'd have to leave her behind.
I'd never leave her behind. Never. No matter what happened, she and I would face it together.
You're lying.
You can't have her.
Love is forbidden. Passion is weakness.
With each reminder, Aaron was only more determined to ignore all the rules of Outcome. He'd left… why should he follow the stupid rules of some organization that had tried to kill him? Marta and I will be together.
You're lying.
Aaron cursed Byer under his breath, ripping open the seams to pull out the ring he'd placed there for safekeeping.
You care too much to put her in that situation. If you and her became a couple, you would only make her more of a target. His voice took on more of an oiled confidence. You wouldn't risk her. I know you, Aaron, you care too much about her to make her your equal. She would be captured by a superior agent and put through more agony than she could endure just to bring you out in the open. She would die with your name on her lips, but it wouldn't be said in love.
That would never happen. Get the hell out of my head.
He heard the former-leader give a sadistic chuckle. I already died once. You can't kill me again.
Aaron slumps to a nearby bench and twists the ring in his hand, letting it catch in the light. He couldn't afford the best for her—they're on the run from the government, he has to be prudent with their finances—but she deserved as best as he could find. A silver band that won't turn her finger green. A tiny cluster of white sapphires in the front framing an amethyst. He'd forked over sixty from their savings, which paled in comparison to the thousand dollar diamond ring he should've bought for her.
He knows she won't care. This one is perfect for her, but he could've done better.
You take her as yours and you're forcing a death wish on her.
He tries to say no, but he knows it's a lie. Marta, would you still say yes if you knew the risks? Would you ignore common sense and follow your feelings… should you even do that.
"Sir, is your wife finished with those?" a saleswoman comes up, pointing to the dress and shoes still in his arms.
Wife. The word sounds good when she says it. "I, ah… I was still deciding whether she'd like this one or not. I told her I'd bring her one to try."
"Did you need suggestions?"
"No, no… these are good. It's just for a couple minutes until she finds something else." He forces a grin. "She'll try this one on and five seconds later she'll find something she likes better."
She smiles a bit adding a "let me know if you need any help" before leaving to assist another customer.
"Well you took your time." Marta already had a fully-stocked dressing room and a frilly pink blouse on that Aaron couldn't decide whether made her look younger or not.
"I only get one chance at this. I have to make sure it's the right one." He hands her the dress and shoes, watching her eyes narrow at the height of the heels.
"Aaron"
He really couldn't resist the smirk. "We agreed on whatever I picked. If you fall, I'll be right here to catch you." More than you know. He put a hand to his pocket to touch the ring again.
Marta sized him up for a second before snatching the dress and shoes with a huff to disappear back into the dressing room.
He should really give it to her now. She'd think it was so romantic if he got down on his knees right in the middle of the hall and gave her the ring. I just want her happy and safe, she'd have both those things with me. I wouldn't let her die. He directed it at Byer, but the voice in his head was silent. Either it was resigned to what Aaron planned to do or else it knew him better than he would admit.
The door opened, Marta emerging in a cloud of red. She stumbled over the ridiculously high shoes, pitching forwards but Aaron caught her. His hands cupped her soft shoulders and he could only stare her up and down.
Right now. Just do it—get on the ground and say four words.
She won't say no.
You want this, you want this more than anything. If there was only one day left, you'd spend it with her. She's your everything. Beauty. Sweetness. Compassion. There were so many words that fit her.
Right now.
There's nothing stopping you.
"Aaron?" Marta's voice startled him from his debate. "Do you like the dress? You're staring at me…"
"You're beautiful," he said at last, meaning it with all his heart. He took a step back, focusing more on the dress. Slowly, he let his hands trail from her shoulders and down to clasp her by the wrists, marveling how the dress captured her feminine beauty through the fit—hugging her figure tastefully without clinging before lapsing into a long trail of scarlet that shimmered when she moved. He dropped one hand from her, sliding his other hand into hers and guiding her into a spin.
The dress ripped around her legs. She laughed and he did it again. Then it was time. When Marta came to a stop, her eyes sparkling and still smiling, Aaron mustered his courage, took out the ring and dropped to one knee.
"Marta, will you marry me?" He held out the ring to her, hand shaking slightly even though he had never been more sure of himself.
Marta's smile wavered. Gathering the skirt to avoid tripping on it, she knelt down in front of him. Her hand came up to stroke his cheek, before slipping behind his head holding him as she pulled him closer and kissed him softly.
Aaron's hand dropped. He deepened the kiss, pouring his love, his hope and his promises into it.
Yes.
The word reverberated in her mind, a dense taste in her mouth but she couldn't say it. So she showed it. She wouldn't stay with him out of pity or duty. She wanted to be with him. He couldn't be alone like this forever…if she walked away, she knew she'd compare every man that came after to him.
Aaron pulled away first. "I can't promise you it will be safe, or quiet, but I will always be there for you. And Marta… I can't give you an ordinary life." Did he think she would refuse now?
"I know the costs." She looked back at him, resisting the urge to turn away from his probing gaze as she held out her hand. "I've been yours since Manila. When you gave me the chance to walk away, I knew I couldn't leave you. Yes, Aaron, yes."
He took her hand, slipping the ring on her finger and kissing her hand before lowering it.
Marta stared at the ring, overwhelmed as she knelt there in the middle of the dressing room halls in the dress she could never hope to buy and the stupid heels, knowing Aaron loved her that much.
Slowly, she got up. Some level of her still couldn't accept this as the reality—any second it would all fall away; she would wake up to Aaron having left her, or Aaron dying when the assassins caught them unawares or the Aaron still afraid to ask her… "You won't ever leave?" she prompted, needing to hear him say it.
He looked her right in the eyes, solemnly. "Marta, I promise I will never leave you. No matter what happens, no matter what they try to do to us, I'll always be right there with you and we'll face it together."
Together
"I should get out of this dress. Jason will need us back soon and we're…" she broke off in a laugh. Engaged! Right in a department store dressing room in New York!
He echoed her smile, nudging her towards the room.
"And I'm getting you back for these!" she took the shoes off and tossed them into his arms. "There will be retribution paid and blood shed over those shoes!"
Aaron rolled his eyes, still laughing.
She'd never admit he'd made up for it with the proposal. Somehow, someway she would find a way to get him back with no less style.
Leaving the clothes on the rack to be returned, Marta followed Aaron back out to the street slipping her hand into his where it belonged. She wasn't a dreamer—the assassins and threats weren't gone just because Aaron wanted her as his wife, but right now life felt right. Right now, the shooting in the lab, the fallout with Peter, the murder attempts… they'd led up to this, to her coming to know Aaron Cross. If she had to live it all over again, she would make all the same decisions. Maybe she'd even pay more attention to that agent who kept showing up her exam room. What if she had been seeing him then… would everything still be the same? Her mind whirled with the What If.
"You know we can't afford a ceremony or paperwork, right?" Aaron spoke low as they walked. "They'll follow a paper trail. I'm sorry, but we can't…"
"Don't be" she said, cutting in before he reasoned they couldn't be married. "We'll know, and Jason will know. That's all that matters. We can't risk our safety just to sign our names on a piece of paper. I don't want the big ceremony or the mounds of flowers that will die in a few days, I just want you." She'd never signed on for a normal life, but they could make their own ordinary.
He squeezed her hand and she squeezed his back.
By the time they reached the room, Jason was already staring at the computer screen, clicking away frantically. His eyes distant with the past. He didn't acknowledge their return aside from a single glance up before looking down again.
"Did Landy—" Aaron combed a hand through his hair, pausing before blurting out. "Did she find out about Byer?"
"Of course she knew. She couldn't accept that he forced our hand." Jason growled at the screen. "That bastard deserved a slow death."
"And the director of the program?"
Marta sat on the bed, sorting through her backpack, listening to every word.
Jason took a breath. "Turso, Ward… and Vosen's the one running it from the shadows." He spoke the last name with all the joy of swallowing poison. "There could be more support staff, but Vosen's the one to worry about."
"I don't think I've heard of him before," Aaron said, thoughtfully.
"He was behind your program, even though Byer was the public face. He was behind Treadstone too. And he was the last one who got a clear shot at me."
She can't tell if Jason's talking aloud to them to just to himself. When Marta looks up, he's still staring at the computer.
"What about Mandy?" Marta volunteers. "If Byer was the front and Vosen is the leader where does that put her?"
Jason taps some keys harder than necessary and declines to answer so she assumes his answer is Mandy isn't the one to worry about now.
Aaron grabs the pad of hotel paper and pen, scribbling down stick figures and labeling them with the names of the possible enemies. "So Byer and Mandy were the front of Outcome…" he drew an X over Byer "…since he's dead Mandy goes into hiding, presumably, and Vosen comes back to take charge… Turso… I know that name…"
"Mark Turso was one of the leaders of Outcome. You probably ran into him at some point."
"Outcome was shut down. He's not leading it anymore." Aaron tapped the paper, thinking. "If the program is terminated, do all the leaders migrate up to the next level of programming?"
Marta came over to borrow the pen and draw a line under Ward's stick figure. "Ward was in charge of the scientist's division—my division."
"How well did you know him?"
"How well did you know him before he stole you away to Manila?" Byer's voice had held a whisper of doubt. It had been only his training likely holding back the rest of the suspicion. Her own instincts had told her he didn't trust her completely—not yet.
"He was assigned to me in the labs. Aaron Cross was just another number," she'd waved it off. "I never even knew his name until he told me. If you think I'd cared, wouldn't I have asked his name before?"
"That depends" began Byer, pausing only to kiss her "on how unprofessional you'd be willing to be with a government agent."
"As I remember, you're a government agent," Marta retorted.
"I'm only a government agent when I'm working. Here, I could be whatever I needed to be."
Marta laughed breathily. "And what do you need to be now?"
There was a glint in Byer's eyes that was more than the light. It hadn't fully dawned on Marta until now, when she was alone with him in the bed how dangerous Byer might be.
It's for Aaron, she'd reminded herself. It's for Aaron. All this is for him.
"I'll give you a hint."
Marta blinked, the memory of her night with Byer dying away to find Aaron watching her concerned.
"Marta?"
"I didn't know him outside of his work."
"Would you consider him a threat?"
She had to think on that one to remember Terry while Byer still lingered in her memories. "He was a chemist. If there was an opening in LARX, he would've moved up immediately. I wouldn't call him as dangerous as some of the other leaders, but he was as ambitious as anyone would've been in that situation."
Aaron nodded, going back to his chart, while Marta stared at him absentmindedly. She wouldn't regret what she's had to do with Byer—Aaron had ended up safe, after all.
"That would make the assassins working for…" Aaron paused, chewing on the pen while he studied the chart he was making. "Unless they're existing on standing orders."
Jason closed the computer. "Vosen will be too smart to be in the headquarters so we'll need to track him down first. With the right bait, he'll come to us…or we'll fall right into his trap."
"Whatever it takes," seconded Aaron, still working at his drawing. "And when it comes to taking Vosen out…"
"You don't hesitate to shoot him—backstabbing, front-stabbing, decapitation or better yet all three. Taking him out is priority one." He paused, tone shifting and he threw Marta a rare smile. "Don't think I didn't notice what you're wearing."
Marta felt for the ring again, echoing his smile shyly. "I was waiting for him to ask." She looked to Aaron. "He must've been carrying it around for weeks."
"I was not," he protested. "I was just…waiting for the right time."
"So Outcome's emotional downside didn't—"
Aaron's attention snapped up from what he was working on. "Don't go there, Bourne." Under the other agent's knowing look, he relented slightly. "You know what's at stake. I'm not taking any decision lightly, especially those that concern Marta's wellbeing."
Marta stifled a laugh at his expense. "Marta's wellbeing is just fine right now." Taking pity on Aaron, she sided next to him, twining her fingers in his. "Jason, would it be too much to ask if Aaron and I could be alone a few hours?"
"What he lacks in decisiveness, you make up in impulsiveness. You two really do complete each other."
"I'm not even going to bother anymore," said Aaron, dryly. "You're entitled to your opinions, no matter how deluded they are."
As happy as she was, Marta still couldn't miss the wistfulness that crept into Jason's expression. She wanted to say something, assure him that it wouldn't take away from their survival and they would find Nicky, but he wouldn't want their moment spoiled on him.
"Can I offer the soon-to-be Mrs. Cross my congratulations?"
"You can," agreed Marta, smiling as the agent took her free hand to place a kiss on her knuckles. Aaron pulled her closer, kissing her cheek.
"Very soon-to-be," he added more softly.
Jason looked at them both, brought together through death and pain to deeply in love, and knew he couldn't impose. One night, they deserved that much. Resources be damned. He reached for his wallet and sifted through to pull out a number of large bills. "My gift to you two—I'm getting my own room."
Chuckling at their surprise and protests, he gathered his supplies along with the computer, wished them luck and quickly made his exit.
The glimpse he had of Aaron and Marta's tender kiss assured him he'd done the right thing.
He gazed at her between kisses as though she held all the wonders of the universe. When he came to the bruises she'd sustained in the fight, he soothed them with caresses so passionate that Marta's body warmed where his lips touched.
"Aaron"
He hummed in response, not pausing from his ministrations until she reached up to cradle his face in her hands and steal his attention. His eyes met hers—she saw his assurance, his hope, his love and devotion that conquered the brokenness and loneliness she'd seen in those same eyes before.
"I love you, Aaron." I won't let you be alone ever again. I'll always be right here, she spoke through the kiss.
I'm yours.
I'm yours, she felt him repeat the unspoken words. Then, they proved it.