"Mom," I called out, but almost no sound escaped my lips; my throat was too dry from worrying. She looked up, a surprised expression on her face.
"Hazel?" she questioned. "You're back early. Is everything okay?"
I fought the urge to nod and shrug off my predicament as just a complication with the equipment. Looking behind, I saw that the female doctor had followed me out, but had given me enough space to tell my mom before she arrived.
Better to get it over and done with, right?
"No," I admitted, wiping yet another tear from my eye.
"Oh God," my mom exclaimed. "Please don't tell me… No, it can't be…"
"Cancer?" I said. Mom just nodded sadly and I shook my head in response. She let out a small sigh of relief before speaking again.
"Oh, thank God. So the Phalanxifor is still working fine?"
I nodded, smiling sadly at her slight happiness.
"So what's the matter then? If it's not cancer, what else could it be?" she said, suddenly getting anxious. "It's not anything serious, is it?"
I tried to speak, but found it was hard to even get a word out. It was like all the air had been sucked out of my already suckish lungs while my oxygen tank had simultaneously given up.
"I… We… In…" I sighed, giving up with talking. I just pointed to my stomach and waited for the cogs to turn in my mom's brain. It took a while – long enough for the female doctor to walk over – but when she realised, she had to choke back a sob.
"Oh, Hazel…" Mom gave me a look of almost disapproval, before turning to the female doctor, who confirmed what I had just implied.
"Obviously, it's very early days, so we have no idea whether Hazel will be able to carry on with the pregnancy. This will require further tests, both in the interests of the mother and the baby," the female doctor warned. "I understand that you may want to talk about your options, so I have some leaflets that you can take home to discuss before you come back to us and decide on the best route to take."
I nodded slowly, trying to process at least some of what the lady had just said. I was still in shock. How could my life change so dramatically in just a few minutes?
I could see that Mom was having trouble processing it too. I put my arm around her and squeezed her tightly. Eventually, she spoke again.
"Can I ring up later to make an appointment?"
"Of course," the doctor said, pressing a stack of leaflets into my mom's hand. "We understand that this is a massive change for both you and Hazel, so we will try and make this as easy for you as possible."
Mom nodded, her eyes glazed over. She couldn't focus because of her shock. We thanked the female doctor quickly and she let us leave the ward.
Mom and I didn't say another word to each other until we got home, which worried me slightly.
Was she going to shout at me for this?
Would she reject me?
Support me?