It's been awhile since nearing graduation has kept me preoccupied, but finally I'm back in the swing of the story. Here's to hoping that I can stay there. Come for the story and leave your comments. ;)

"I strain my heart, I stretch my hands,

And catch at hope."

~Christina Rossetti, "De Profundis"

Everyone has something that seals their breaking point—everyone has something they would rather die for then lose. For many it's freedom, patriotism or religion. For everyone else it's an idealism or a loved one.

For Jason Bourne, it's more or less a combination of all the above. He's fighting for freedom, for his country against the threat of continual enslavement to a cause he never believed in from the beginning. But even after he's won that final battle, it won't be worth it unless Nicky pulls through with him.

He can be a soldier, a killer, or a one-man op but he can't be alone again.

The only thing that gives him a semblance of comfort is the thoughts of all the ways he can get vengeance against Mandy for using Nicky… and Vosen, for everything else. He's even had dreams about being the one to hold the gun and take the shot at Vosen as the director plunges into the Thames; then he woke up disappointed it had been a dream and not a memory.

"I need an address, Aaron. I can't keep driving aimlessly like this." He doesn't bother straining the frustration from his voice that he has to take orders from the junior operative. The operative whose lover-now-impromptu wife ran blindly into a situation and opened up a new world of CIA hell for them.

"Working on it" has been Aaron's manta since they merged onto 91 in Harrisburg and stopped once for gas. Those three words are the last thing Jason wants to hear so he stopped asking nearly an hour ago. But it looks like he'll have to ask again because he's started to notice an excessive amount of cop cars patrolling the highways. All the other motorists are getting antsy and drive slower that only makes this worse for them.

Stolen car report… Jason swears aloud, causing Aaron to finally get a grip on the situation and voice reassurances that none of them believe.

Aaron's recognizable, and Jason might as well swerve to the side and hand himself in now because screw it if he's not Jason Bourne and is the best at blending in to his surroundings than anyone. Disguises? He laughs at disguises.

Patrol after patrol passes them… they mustn't have a license plate yet. Then the cop car swerves to cut off a minivan and slip into the lane behind them.

"Aaron, get down!" Jason keeps an eye on the bumper while snapping an order at the Outcome agent and throwing a map at Marta to hide her face with.

The car keeps on their tail for two miles, each half mile causing Jason's grip on the steering wheel to tighten. When the cop moves to the side lane, clearly to count how many people are riding in the Subaru, Jason begins grinding his teeth. The car remains stubbornly in his blind spot, no matter how many times he tries speeding up or slowing down to let the cop pass.

"Jason…" Marta flips through the map trying to look authentic but her act is going to wear through fast if he can't shake that cop.

So he makes a choice. Focusing on the upcoming exit, Jason calmly switches lanes until he gets to the far right and takes the exit as though it was his plan all along. As he makes his move, his eyes continue to track that cop car—at first it starts to follow, cutting across lanes behind them, but the siren remains silent. The other motorists give the cop a wide berth, relieved to see him focused on someone else besides them. But right before the exit comes, the cop gives up and switches back a lane.

"I thought he had us," confessed Marta, still keeping the map near her face.

Aaron climbs back up from where he'd hidden between the seats to steal a long look out the window before catching Jason's eyes in the review mirror. "We need to get another car."

No kidding. Jason pulls into the lot of a strip mall where their "borrowed" car is only one of a hundred and cuts the engine. To the incredulity of the others, he gives the final word, "We're taking a break. Forty minutes, if no one approaches the car, I'm calling it safe to keep going to the final destination." At the last words, he shoots a sharp glance at Aaron. "Do whatever you two want but I'm keeping surveillance on the car." He reaches a hand towards Aaron's laptop, seeking permission, then takes it when the agent gives a terse nod in reply.

"Forty minutes," Aaron repeats while Marta looks hopefully towards the stores.

They synchronize their watches and then Jason Bourne is in his best element again—on his own.

You could leave them now. You never owed them anything…

He could. He would be long gone in the forty minutes before they returned to the car. Jason entertains the idea while ordering a large coffee and hamburger in the nearby McDonalds. In a corner booth, he sets up office with his food, the laptop and a clear view of the car.

After the stunt with Byer, they owe you more than anything else. You can make it on your own… you can save Nicky and they can handle themselves…

Jason takes a long drink of coffee, barely swallowing it and keep it from spraying on the screen when he sees the emails from Nicky. Everything stops. Time itself slows down when Jason stares at the emails from her. The mouse hovers over it but he knows he shouldn't click it—if he does, he'll answer and Treadstone will have a red flag on his location.

He hears that famous quote from Admiral Ackbar and can't resist a low chuckle. There never was a worse trap.

He wouldn't… would he? As he leads Marta away, Aaron keeps turning back to make sure the car is still there. Bourne's been running on his own for two long and he'll hit himself if he's given the Treadstone agent the opportunity he needs to leave them on their own.

What really motivates him?

It's the question that's been nagging Aaron since Jason first signed on. He has no concern for Marta, or if he did, it's long gone by now; he knows Aaron's fight is Aaron's alone and will leave him to it. In all the stories he's heard about Bourne, there's always one common element—Jason never stays in one place for long and he always ends up on his own.

"Marta… do you trust Jason?"

She stiffens, silently admonishing him for using her name, even it was just a whisper. "Did I trust you when you held a match to my house and told me to take you across the world?"

He chuckles. "Fair point. But, seriously."

"I don't trust him to stay around long." She paused before adding, "Jason forms alliances; he doesn't form bonds like you do."

"I…"

"If he drove off without us, you'd find something else." And he hears the second meaning in her response—Jason's going to leave as suddenly as he came and there isn't anything you can do to prevent it.

"So don't count him as a stable asset," muttered Aaron, confirming Marta's advice as he squeezed her hand and pulled her off to the side. It was his fault for making Jason into something more than he was—a hero who'd have all the answers to defeating the dark branches of the CIA. He couldn't remember having childhood heroes, but that's what Jason Bourne had become for him. But at the end, Jason was just another man who betrayed, lied and loved and would throw everything away for a chance of purpose again. "If we'd saved Nicky sooner, this wouldn't be happening now."

"None of this is your fault. You can't make decisions for him." Marta coaxed him forwards, her eyes wandering to the shop windows as they passed them.

The only one you can count on is yourself. Jason will leave you behind, Marta killed without a reason. You're alone.

He snapped his gaze up into the window they passed and, for an instant, he glimpsed the man who'd made his life hell from the beginning. Leave me alone. You had your chance in life and I'm not going to let you destroy the good things I've gained from your bloodlust. I'm not you.

"Aaron" Marta had turned back towards him, her troubled face reflected in the glass. "Tell me what's wrong. Ever since Jason shot Byer, you've been different. Distant."

"I…" he wanted to tell her, he would've told her but he saw something else in the glass. Nearing their position was an assassin.

Marta felt Aaron tense. She followed his gaze and saw the assassin. A cold ball of panic twisted her stomach when she remembered the other ones she'd killed. The gun in her hands, the blood, the dead eyes locked on hers. Choking down bile, Marta pulled Aaron into the closest store and both instantly moved towards the back. "We need to tell Jason."

She kept watch for their pursuer, giving Aaron the chance to send a quick message off to the Treadstone operative, but when she glanced back she saw the phone motionless in his hand. "Aren't you going to warn him?"

"I don't need to." He lowered the phone with a sigh. "Jason brought the assassin here."

"What?!"

"I was stupid, Marta. I trusted Jason and let my guard down while all the signs were there. Stealing a registered car… choosing a make that gains attention, paying his hotel room in a traceable credit card and now emailing the CIA… he wants to be found and he's dragging us down with him."

Marta stared at him, taking it in. "How do you…?"

Aaron flashed her his phone to display the recent outgoing emails. "I set up a tracer connection between the two. Time-laborious but it pays off." He paused, still coming to grip with the situation at hand. When he finished, his voice had gone hard. A return to the first Aaron Marta had met when he'd saved her life all those weeks ago. "Jason's not on our side anymore."

You wanted a trail, Vosen? I'll give you a trail. Jason snapped the laptop shut, gathered it under his arm and exited the restaurant his eyes scanning the wandering tourists for his target. He didn't break stride when he locked gazes with the assassin heading briskly towards him. Treadstone takes and takes until I had nothing left to give so they took the thing I didn't even know I had. Nicky, I promise I'll come for you. Jason went over the plan once more in his head, then broke into a sprint for the parking lot.

Her first thought was to warn Jason, but it was selfish to want him here like her own personal savior. She kept her focus on the keys in front of her, while she imagined what Vosen and Mandy were saying behind her back. When Nicky had taken this job she'd never imagined they would use her as one of the operatives. Shooting her with chems, conditioning her and handing her a gun to target Jason…

"I know what you're trying to do," she said, loathing in her voice. "Jason's too smart for this kind of trap. If he gives his location away, it will only be to lure your best assassins there for him to take every last one of them out. If you think Outcome Five is a nightmare, remember that Jason Bourne was the first and worse."

"Inspiring speech, Ms. Parsons," purred Vosen from behind her, his breath fanning the hairs on her neck. Nicky barely resisted the urge to slap him away. "But useless."

The last message from Jason appeared on the screen. I'm coming for you, Nicky.

Nicky turned to face Vosen, her mouth quirked in a half smirk. "Useless?" she leaned forward to finish in a conspiratory whisper, "I'd start running if I were you."

Vosen studied her, an ancient predatory gleam in his eyes, before turning back to address Mandy. "Recall all agents and have them ready from Bourne. It seems our rogue agent is unable to resist coming back home. He grows more careless the longer he fosters these feelings of concern for Ms. Parsons."

"If he does" cut in Nicky loudly, "you'd know that a man that desperate, that in love, will cut down mountains to get what he wants. And you, Mr. Vosen, would seem to be the mountain."