Edward was afraid to open the door to his own house.
Hohenheim was very good at figuring out if someone was lying. And he always asked Edward if he released any information about what was going on between them whenever he got home from Winry's.
So basically, he was screwed.
He remembered one time, when he was about eight, when he had lied about hiding his father's belt, to avoid abuse, and his father immediately could tell he was bluffing. The punishment afterward was more severe than any other he had gotten before that point.
But now he had exposed his secret. The punishment would be absolutely brutal. His father's words from years before bounced around in his head.
~Flashback~
A few days after Edward had gotten his automail arm and leg, his father warned him not to tell anyone of what had happened, or he would be beaten to the verge of death.
"And if you tell anyone, or even hint at what's going on to anyone," Hohenheim threatened. "They will receive the same fate that you have, and both cases will become more severe."
~End of Flashback~
Of course, Ed had only been five years old then, but he was smart enough to know what most of the words meant.
But he couldn't leave Winry in confusion anymore. She had wondered about his scars for years, but he never had the heart to tell her.
But now, he had. And they were both going to be battered.
Because of him.
Deciding his fate could only get worse if he were any later than he already was, he took a deep breath and turned the knob. He stepped inside and tried to remain as calm as possible.
I didn't tell her anything, he kept telling himself. She doesn't know anything about this.
He jumped when he found Hohenheim standing right next to the door, clearly waiting for him.
"Did you tell her?" Hohenheim asked, like always.
"No," Edward spoke fast, and immediately cursed himself silently. He could even tell he was lying.
"Liar," Hohenheim narrowed his eyes and raised his hand. He brought it down on Edward's left cheek, making the boy turn involuntarily to the right.
Edward held his metal hand to the place his father had struck him. "I'm not lying," She doesn't know. She doesn't know. She doesn't. She can't have figured it out with only that.
"Yes you are," Hohenheim snarled. "Who did you tell?"
"I didn't tell anyone anything."
"Perhaps I didn't make myself clear," Hohenheim grabbed the front of Edward's shirt and lifted him slightly off the ground, with his toes just brushing the floor. "Who did you tell?"
Edward shook with fear. "I-I didn't tell her anything important! I said there was never a train wreck!" Edward was certain she couldn't come up with the exact details with only those simple, six words he had muttered on his way out of her room. Hell, maybe she hadn't even heard him.
Hohenheim frowned and threw Edward onto the floor. "Any normal person would try to figure out another way someone had lost their limbs and half their family. And why would you lie about how your mother and brother died? And how you lost your limbs? Wouldn't that seem kind of suspicious?"
Edward knew he had made a horrible mistake. His father was going to torture Winry, and it would all be his fault.
Edward slowly sat up leaning on one arm. "Please," his voice wavered. "Do whatever you want to me. But for the love of God," Edward looked up at Hohenheim and a small spark of determination flared behind his golden eyes. "Don't touch her."
Hohenheim was silent for a few moments, but then burst into laughter. The fire in Edward's eyes simmered down in his confusion.
"Protecting Winry, eh?" Hohenheim had easily guessed that Edward had told Winry, and not her grandmother Pinako. And obviously he didn't tell the dog. "How cute."
Edward pulled himself into a standing position, using the couch to right himself. He had hit the back of his head on the floor when he was thrown, and was feeling dizzy.
"But, unfortunately," Hohenheim grinned heinously. "Someone knowing anything about our situation will have to be removed."
Edward felt the heavy weight of dread in his heart. It was his fault. Winry would be killed and it would be all his fault. He would never forgive himself if that happened.
His shoulders dropped and he looked at the ground in between his feet. His vision was getting cloudy, either from fear or dizziness, or, for the first time in a decade, tears.
He blinked to clear his vision and looked up to again face his father. The corners of Hohenheim's mouth were turned up in a malicious smile, and Edward awaited his oncoming punishment.
But instead his father yawned and broke the tension. "I'm tired. You'll get the punishment you deserve tomorrow. Edward was absolutely shocked. Hohenheim had never let him off easy. Maybe he had gone to plan the hellish punishment he was going to put Edward through the next day.
Even after Hohenheim had walked up the stairs and closed the door behind him, Edward stood frozen in the same spot he had been before, wondering what he should do next.
He decided he would visit Alphonse and his mother. Walking out the door, he quickly made his way to the cemetery. He found the two gravestones, next to a single tree.
He sat down, Indian style, in front of the headstones.
Trisha Elric
1878 - 1904
Alphonse Elric
1900 - 1904
He studied the engravings, over and over again. He hated being left alone. He hated being left alone with a monster.
Winry grabbed the bouquet of white roses she had bought for her weekly trip to the graveyard. She only needed one, because her parents had been buried together, with one headstone.
She pulled on her jacket, because Resembool had the tendency to get chilly in the evenings. She walked out her front door, still thinking of the words she had heard earlier that day.
There was never a train wreck.
But what else could have happened, Winry asked herself. How could two people lose their lives, and another lose half their limbs in the same night?
Murder, a voice in the back of her head whispered. She shook her head. The Rockbells and Elrics were the only households for miles. And she highly doubted that Edward or his father would think of murdering their own family.
She pushed these thoughts to the back of her mind, clenching the bouquet of roses tighter in her hands as she walked to the cemetery.
When she got there, she was surprised to see that it was already occupied.
"Edward...?" She said to herself and slowly walked towards him. She knew it probably wasn't polite to interrupt people when they are mourning their loved ones, but she needed to know what those six words meant.
When she reached him, she hesitated before kneeling down next to him, laying the bouquet down gently on the grass. She remained silent.
Edward finally noticed her presence and looked over at her. She said nothing. He focused his attention back onto the gravestones.
Winry opened her mouth to say ask him what he meant by 'there was never a train wreck,' but quickly closed it.
"What is it, Winry?" Edward's voice was monotone and quiet. He slightly turned his head so he could look over at her.
"Well, I just-" Winry tried to form a sentence. "I- What do you mean 'there was never a wreck'? How else could you have lost both of your limbs and two of your family members?"
Edward averted his gaze away from hers. "I-" he closed his eyes. "Winry, I... I'm sorry. I can't-" he took a deep breath. Hohenheim was going to kill her. And he would have to live with the guilt forever.
Should he tell her? Should he tell her that she was going to die, and it was because of him?
I should at least tell her the truth, Edward thought. I owe her that much.
Edward turned so he was facing Winry. He tried to think of a good way to explain what had happened, but couldn't. Nothing could make it sound better. It was absolutely devastating.
"Winry," Edward almost whispered. "They weren't killed in an accident. And I didn't lose my arm and leg in an accident either." Edward bit his lip and looked away from her piercing blue eyes. "They were... They were murdered."
Winry's face paled. The same thoughts she had on her way to the cemetery returned. "But-" Winry stuttered, her eyes wide. "But there's no one else here for miles! Who could have-"
Edward looked back up at her with his golden eyes, and she went quiet.
"I know," Edward muttered. "I know there isn't anyone around for miles. They- they're still here."
Winry's eyes widened even more. "You- you mean-" she shook her head. "Your DAD?!"
Edward slowly leaned his head down toward the ground and nodded. He buried his face in his left hand and told her to quiet down.
Now he's definitely going to kill her, Edward told himself. He bit his lip to stop it from quivering.
"That bastard!" Winry stood up and was shaking with anger. "I swear if he lays another finger on you-"
Her words were cut off when Edward reached up and grabbed her right hand with his left, raising his head. He said nothing, but she understood the message. She sat back down, and kept her hand in his. She understood the look in his eyes now. The dark shadow of sadness that always loomed over his golden eyes. He'd always had it, but she never knew what was causing it. How could a man be so cruel and heartless? To kill his own family and consistently torture the only one he kept alive for his own amusement? Winry couldn't believe he had hid it from her for so long. They could have done something about it.
"And the bandages?" Winry asked. "Did he do that to you?!"
Edward nodded solemnly.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Winry's voice was soft, and calming. Edward didn't respond, but kept staring into her eyes. "Did... Did he threaten you or something?"
Edward squeezed her hand and shut his eyes. She could see his lip quivering, and her eyebrows arched with concern. He opened eyes again, and blinked a few times to clear them. She reached out her other hand, the one that wasn't holding his, and paused before touching him.
He didn't flinch away this time. She put her hand on his should and pulled him closer. He buried his head into her chest and let go of her hand, only to wrap it around her waist, doing the same with his other arm.
His automail arm felt cold on her back through the fabric of her shirt, but Winry didn't care. She moved her free arm to rest on his back. They were now in a sort of awkward, sitting hug position.
"Winry," Edward mumbled. "He- he's going to... He's going to kill you Winry. And me. He's going to kill us, and it's all my fault." Edward's voice wavered and he wrapped his arms tighter around Winry. "I'm sorry."
He was shaking now, and was ashamed for doing so. His eyes were filling up with tears, but he kept blinking to keep them at bay.
"Thank you," Winry whispered into his ear. "For telling me. It's alright."
Edward couldn't take it any longer. His shoulders shook with sobs as he cried into Winry's chest. Winry lowered her head and buried her cheek into Edward's hair, whispering soothing words into his ear.
He's going to kill you, Edward's words echoed around in her head. And me. And it's all my fault.
Edward calmed himself down and slightly pulled away from Winry. They locked eyes and he spoke.
"Please," Edward's eyes were still red and his face was still wet with tears. "You can't tell anyone. And you can't do anything about it. That'll only make it worse."
"The only thing you can really do," He unraveled himself from her and wiped his face. "Is run away. Take Pinako and run. You'll be safe from him then." Edward knew it was the best thing for her to do, but he also knew that Hohenheim would get suspicious about why she would suddenly leave the village for no reason. He would ask Edward, and he was a terrible liar. And he would figure out he had told Winry everything. He didn't want to think about the punishment he would receive if that happened.
"Edward," Winry shook her head. "I can't. I can't leave you all alone with no help. What if he severely injures you?" Winry stood up and held her hand out to him. "I might not be able to do anything about your dad, but I promise I will help you recover from his beatings."
Edward smiled gratefully, and took her hand. She pulled him up and grinned back at him, but he could see the worry in her eyes.
That was a horrible idea, he told himself. Now she'll always be worried about me.
She reached down and picked up the bouquet of white roses from the ground. She sorted the roses into two equal groups, and placed one of the mini-bouquets in front of each Elric's gravestone. My parents would understand if they didn't get any flowers today, she thought.
"Thank you," Edward pulled Winry in for one last hug. He thought it was kind of awkward because she was taller than he was, but he dealt with it.
They walked out of the cemetery, holding hands, toward their respective houses. They got to Edward's house first, so he let her walk home by herself. He opened the door to his home and peeked in, and was relieved when he saw no one there. He quietly walked upstairs and into his room, closing the door as softly as he could. He got into bed and for the first time in a decade, he slept peacefully.