Chapter 10
Sasha throws off his jacket and climbs onto the parallel bars feeling the need to work off his feelings.
When she'd been listing the things she'd tell herself, she'd said make sure the camera was off or getting the footage herself, not that she wouldn't kiss him, and he'd seen it in her eyes in that moment, she'd been thinking exactly the same thing as him and it hadn't been that she'd been feeling guilty, a part of him hoped that deep down a part of her still held those feelings for him, he'd felt the tension there, the unresolved feeling of it all, and it looked like she had, Payson had always been perceptive and old beyond her years, he'd enjoyed being with her while they'd been training and he probably should've realised and maybe on some level he did that she had a crush on him and maybe he had let that kiss happen. But he needed to stop this, stop thinking about her like this, she had a boyfriend, and it wasn't fair of him to potentially toy with her emotions like this, he'd rejected her once and they'd gotten past it but he couldn't drag her down that road again, not while she was with someone else, he couldn't put her in that position even if he did hope that maybe if it did come down to it she'd choose him.
Payson arrives home and lets herself into the apartment.
"Hey Kelly" she calls.
She doesn't get an answer.
"Kelly" she calls again as she drops her bag and coat.
Still no answer so she walks into Kelly's room.
"Kelly?" asks Payson.
She finds Kelly sat on the bed hugging her knees and tears streaming down her face.
"Kelly what's wrong?" asks Payson as she sits down in front of her.
Kelly wordlessly hands her a letter.
Payson reads it and realises it's from her mother and it is absolutely horrible.
"Oh Kelly" sighs Payson as she pulls her into her arms.
Kelly clutches her as her tears continue to fall, "I never thought she'd hate me, she blames me, my mother hates me" sobs Kelly.
"Hey its okay, she's wrong, it is not your fault, you are not a failure, you are anything but a failure Kelly" soothes Payson.
"I didn't make it to the Olympics and she blames me for the fact she went to prison" cries Kelly.
"She is wrong" says Payson fiercely.
Kelly continues to cry and Payson just holds her.
"Do you have any alcohol?" asks Kelly after a few minutes.
"Yes, and I think we need it" says Payson as she gets up and walks into the kitchen, she grabs two shot glasses and a bottle of vodka before walking back into the bedroom.
She pours a shot into each and hands one to Kelly while she keeps the other one.
They both knock them back and Payson pours another two and they throw those back as well.
"I know she saw me as a payday, and easy way to get money, but she was still my mom" sighs Kelly.
"Its not right how she treated you or what she said Kelly, you are not a failure, none of this is your fault" assures Payson.
"You're so lucky Payson, your parents love you so much, like I said at Worlds I wish my mom cared about me the way your parents do" says Kelly as she pours another shot for them.
"I know I am lucky, but you don't need her, you have me, you have Sasha and the others, you are a better person, the real Kelly Parker not what she forced you to be and she is gone Kelly, she can never hurt you again, don't let her letters get to you, your mother is a horrible evil monster, you are amazing and brilliant and you are a champion" says Payson fiercely as she downs her shot.
"Thanks, it just wish I had what you did, you have friends who love you, a family who would do anything for you, a boy who loves you unconditionally and you have the best boss and co-worker in the world who also happens to be your friend, I might have friends but I don't have them the way you do, and you've had Sasha, as good a person as Marty was he didn't do what Sasha did, he didn't fight for his gymnasts the way Sasha did, he wouldn't have done what Sasha did with you, to be quite honest Payson I don't think there's anyone else in the world that Sasha cares for more than you Payson, I cannot think of a single coach who would've done what he has" says Kelly.
"Well that's not totally true I mean he cares about all of us, he's helped all of us" says Payson as she pours another drink.
"Oh Payson, you're so blind sometimes it's almost funny, you are the centre of Sasha Belov's universe, and he's a very, very large part of yours, I don't even know what to call the two of you it's so unique" says Kelly as she starts to feel the effect of the alcohol, she'd never been much of a drinker and it looked like Payson was going the same way.
"He was my coach and now he's my friend, he means a lot to me Kelly, you form that bond with someone and it never goes away but I'm not the centre of his universe" says Payson downing her shot again.
"Whatever you need to tell yourself but Payson like it or not, one day you'll have to face it, why were you late tonight?" asks Kelly.
"I just started thinking and then Sasha and I started talking just reminiscing, things we'd change, things that bother us that sort of thing" replies Payson.
"You trust him?" asks Kelly.
"Yes, with my life" replies Payson.
"Do you still have feelings for him?" asks Kelly.
Payson looks up at her in shock and in that second Kelly can see the answer, because alcohol plus Payson meant a very bad poker face, she knew that something else had happened tonight, and maybe Payson was seeing what she had.
"Sorry that wasn't meant to come out, I think I need to sleep, never been much of a drinker" says Kelly.
"You go ahead, it is starting to get late, and Kelly your mother is wrong" repeats Payson as she walks out of the room but Kelly notices she didn't answer her question.
Kelly crawls into bed but instead of thoughts of her mother she thinks of Sasha and Payson.
She'd seen it the first day, and over the past couple of weeks she'd been watching them closely and she knew she was right, despite what Sasha wanted people to think, he loved Payson, it was so clear to anyone with a brain who took the time, she'd suspected it at Worlds and even more so after the Olympics and now she'd seen it for herself she knew without a shadow of a doubt that both Sasha and Payson were hiding from their feelings for each other, more Payson than Sasha, Kelly knew that Payson loved Rigo and they were so good together, but he never got Payson the way Sasha did, and she and Sasha were so in sync and Payson had always been the Sasha whisperer, it was her who'd convinced him to stay at the rock and her who had brought him back from Romania, and Kelly had seen that training cam video herself and it took Sasha a little bit longer to push Payson away than it should have, and his hands on her hips didn't seem to be there to push her away more like he'd wanted to pull her closer.
If they weren't in love then they at the very least were attracted to each other, Kelly had seen how Sasha watched Payson's routine that night in the gym, and it hadn't been with pride, it had been with love and desire and Kelly had seen Payson admiring Sasha a couple of times, personally Kelly though she admitted Sasha was hot for a guy of his age, she didn't see the attraction herself, Rigo yes, Sasha no and they were so different, Sasha was reserved, quiet and fierce, while Rigo was open, bubbly, loving and goofy, even looks wise they were different with Sasha being blonde and blue eyed to Rigo's dark hair and dark eyes, it both fascinated and frustrated Kelly, eventually if those two didn't deal with their feelings then it'd burst out in one big climatic and epic moment.
Kelly just hoped unlike last time it didn't become a public spectacle because neither one deserved that.
With that Kelly let sleep claim her.
A/N So I was feeling really happy and I decided to spread the joy here is the next chapter, thank you to my reviewers its nice to hear your thoughts, to reigningseven don't worry you can just sit there quietly and yes Brooke the light is beginning to appear, this and the next couple of chapters are what I feel is a pivotal change. Please keep the feedback coming comments or compliments welcome :)
I'm trying to shift POVs between Kelly, Sasha and Payson in this story, I hope I got Sasha and Kelly right in this chapter, let me know what you think