Chapter 25
Rigo sits looking at Sasha's medal, he knows Payson kept his and he has one of hers, he ran his hand over it, this was intimate, a gold medal meant a lot to an athlete and it felt person to trade gold medals, it also reminded him that this was one thing he didn't have, he started flicking through pictures and found a few of Sasha, these had hung on Payson's wall, she idolised and adored him, she'd risked missing one of the biggest events of her life to go and find him, and he'd come back he knew Lauren and Emily had left but Payson had stayed which meant that whatever Payson had said brought him back.
And despite how much he wanted to believe it was just the bond between an athlete and a coach it felt like there was more, that damn necklace, she hadn't taken it off when they'd been together and if she did have jewellery on she tended to ditch it and more to the point she'd left wearing it, and she never wore necklaces unless she was going out, and the way she'd said Sasha needs me and that it wasn't the same as him needing her.
He'd known from the moment Sasha had walked into the gym at the TC there was something there, the way Payson had lit up, and just the way they were, they were so relaxed and comfortable, little touches here and there and when she talked about him it was in her voice, and how when ever she was asked about their kiss she never once said it was a mistake or that she wished she hadn't done it, he was deluding himself to think he could ever compare to that man, he held a part of Payson that Rigo could never touch and he honestly didn't know for sure that if it ever came down to it that she'd choose him and he hated it, he'd thought he was Payson's everything especially after she'd quit gymnastics but no when he finally thought she'd be all his Sasha had swooped in and pulled her back to the rock, back into gymnastics and it took up so much of her time, she'd rather spend all day with the gymnasts and with Sasha than him.
His fists clenched around the medal and he threw it down on the desk as he walked up to the picture one of Payson's gymnast had made for her, and he sees right in the middle Sasha with his arms around Payson, even other people can see the bond they have, tonight when she came he'd deal with this, he'd ask her straight up and then he'd have his answer.
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As the day ends and Payson talks to Maria about coming in on Sunday, she's more than happy.
"So shall we?" ask Kelly.
"We shall" agrees Payson.
"Where are you ladies headed?" asks Sasha.
"For a belated birthday celebration, want to join us?" asks Kelly.
"I've got stuff to do but have fun and please don't need to call because Payson is passed out and you're unable to move her yourself" calls Sasha.
"Trust me not happening" replies Payson.
"Good and don't go around kicking men either" he adds.
"Yes sir, now goodbye" yells Kelly as they walk out.
"So where too?" ask Payson.
"Drinks and girl talk" smiles Kelly.
They drive to a bar and walk inside.
"Two gin and tonics please" calls Kelly.
"Did you not learn anything from that run in with the vodka, I don't do well with alcohol" argues Payson.
"Oh well its girls night and your birthday plus I'm legal so let's do this" smiles Kelly.
"Alright" sighs Payson.
They talk about this and that and have a couple more drinks and once Kelly can see Payson getting tipsy she moves in.
"So girl talk time how's your night with Rigo?" asks Kelly.
"It was nice, like the first time except less painful and awkward" replies Payson.
"Did Rigo notice your necklace?" asks Kelly.
"Yeah this morning, he said it was nice but seemed a bit, I don't know put out I guess" replies Payson.
"Well when you're having sex with your girlfriend you don't really want a reminder of another man around her neck, especially when there are feelings" says Kelly.
"Why are you pushing so much that there is something between Sasha and me, we're friends and we've been through a lot together but I have Rigo and as I seem to recall you were the one who called him a creep" adds Payson.
"Well that was just to get under your skin, I don't and have never actually thought he was a creep, but what I did mean was that you never get over your first love and like it or not he was yours, not Nicky, Sasha" says Kelly.
"Maybe so but it was a crush and we talked about it, I was a hormonal teenager who was hitting puberty and Sasha was an attractive, caring person who I already had an attachment to, it's something that happens" mumbles Payson taking a sip of her drink to hide her face.
"Payson, just humour me, when you think of Sasha what do you feel?" asks Kelly.
"Kelly" starts Payson.
"Humour me" growls Kelly.
"Safety, affection, trust, hope, respect" replies Payson.
"Now think of Rigo" orders Kelly.
"Happiness" replies Payson.
"So you feel safer and you trust Sasha more than you do Rigo, and you didn't say love for Rigo, Payson for once don't lie to me or yourself, do you regret kissing Sasha?" asks Kelly.
"No" answers Payson.
"So if you could change anything about that day what would it be?" asks Kelly.
"I'd want him to kiss me back for longer than a few seconds" admits Payson.
"Do you ever think about what would happen if he had kissed you back?" asks Kelly.
"Of course I do" replies Payson.
"Describe your relationship with Rigo, first things that come into your head" suggests Kelly.
"Kelly why am I doing this?" asks Payson.
"Take a drink and talk" orders Kelly.
With a sigh Payson does so.
"He makes me happy, he makes me laugh and smile and I like being with him, he makes me go weak in the knees and he's unbelievably sweet" says Payson."
"Now Sasha" orders Kelly.
"I feel happy with him, I feel safe and I feel protected, I feel beautiful and like for once I'm the first choice, the one and only, I feel like the brightest star and like I can do anything as long as he's with me" says Payson.
"Which gift meant more to you?" asks Kelly.
"Sasha's, it was thoughtful, it held a deep meaning attached to a great memory, of a happy time and of how much Sasha means to me" sighs Payson.
"Why didn't you take it off while you were with Rigo?" asks Kelly.
"Because it felt right around my neck" replies Payson.
"Who knows you better?" asks Kelly.
"Sasha, he understands me better, he's always made me feel special, always, he hasn't doubted me, he's helped me in a way no one else can and I guess we've formed a unique bond, one that I can never replace" explains Payson.
"Which bond is stronger, the one you have for Sasha on the one you have with Rigo?" asks Kelly.
"I don't know" sighs Payson.
"With Sasha you trust him with your life and your heart, he knows exactly how to comfort you and always knows when there is something wrong, being with and around him feels natural and nice, it feel right to you doesn't it" says Kelly.
"Every single moment" nods Payson.
"Well why do you think that is?" asks Kelly.
"After I kissed him, we talked and he told me that the kind of relationship is based on trust, loyalty, admiration and even a type of love, because that person can become the most important person in your life and it's like no other relationship because it's intense and intimate and confusing and complicated but that together we can overcome any obstacle as long as we communicate and trust in each other" says Payson.
"And you've had a few moments even if you are with Rigo, like the one attached to that necklace, tell me about it, what is it about that moment that makes you so happy?" asks Kelly.
"It was after the Olympics the night and I needed some time to myself so I went out onto the balcony and Sasha was there, we talked and I gave him my medal instead of his because I'd grown attached to it, he asked me to coach at the rock, we kind of held hands for awhile, and then I was cold so he put his jacket around me, and we kept talking and he told me that he was glad I was coming back because he'd lost all his stars but that he got to keep the brightest, me, then I heard MJ and couldn't deal with her so we hid around the corner and once she was gone we kind of became aware of how close we were, and we were still holding hands, and we were so close that a few centimetres and we'd have been kissing and my heart started to beat faster and I said I should probably go and he agreed but we didn't move, and then his phone went off breaking the spell and then he helped me sneak back up to my room" explains Payson in a rush knocking back her drink/
"That's really sweet" smiles Kelly.
"Yeah I was feeling overwhelmed and he reminded me I wasn't alone and I was in control" smiles Payson.
"I think out all of the rock girls you're the one he's closest too Payson, always has been" says Kelly.
"What makes you say that?" asks Payson.
"He gave you his Olympic gold medal and you keep passing it back between you and the fact you each have one of the others it's like a commitment to each other, it's a binding element, a part of the other you have and always will, a constant reminder of the relationship you have, Payson like it or not you are still in love with Sasha and you always will be" says Kelly.
"I love Rigo" argues Payson.
"You can love more than one person and lets be honest what you have with Sasha runs deeper than what you have with Rigo, can you honestly tell me that if Sasha kissed you, you wouldn't kiss him back with everything you had?" asks Kelly.
Payson closes her eyes and looks down, "no, because I would kiss him back" she sighs.
Kelly takes her hand, "he feels the same Payson, he loves you, I think he didn't realise it until you made the first move and then being the honourable person he is, he pushed you away because you were underage, and you were innocent, naïve and in the midst of a trying time as well as becoming a woman, but I'm pretty sure that he does love you, you're the only one who got a letter, and you're the one who convinced him to come back" reminds Kelly.
"Even if that's true what am I supposed to do walk into the office tomorrow and kiss him, and what about Rigo he means so much to me and he's done a lot, it's not his fault that I have this unique relationship with Sasha he can never understand or compare to, he's a good guy" says Payson.
"He is, but he isn't the right guy, after everything with Sasha you know that, and is it fair to Rigo to keep stringing him along when you know you love Sasha more, is it fair to either of you?" asks Kelly squeezing Payson's hand.
"I don't know, Kelly I'm so confused about everything I love Rigo and he's been so amazing to me, but Sasha is, well he's Sasha and with everything, since the moment he walked into the rock and the moment he was stood outside my door the night before the Hungary invitational I just knew, I don't know how but I did, he means so much to me" says Payson her eyes welling with tears.
"I know, and it's okay" soothes Kelly pulling Payson into a hug.
"How can I go home to Rigo now having admitted I'm in love with another man, I'm a horrible person, I just keep ruining things" sobs Payson.
"You don't ruin anything, and what you're going to do is stay with me tonight, we'll tell him I got totally plastered and you had to take me home and couldn't leave me and then you can decide what to do" assures Kelly pulling back but keeping her hands on Payson's shoulders.
"Okay, god how can I face Sasha, what if you're wrong?" asks Payson frantically.
"I'm not, I know I'm not" assures Kelly.
They pay for their drinks and walk out to their cars.
"Oh crap I forgot my phone at the rock, mind if we stop?" asks Kelly as she checks her bag.
"No" replies Payson.
They drive back to the rock and Payson hands her keys over so Kelly can unlock the doors.
They walk inside and Kelly walks up to the office to hunt for her phone, Payson sits at the bottom of the stairs playing with her necklace nervously.
Then the door opens and Sasha walks in.
"Payson what are you doing here I thought you and Kelly left?" he asks puzzled.
"Um we did but she forgot her phone" says Payson awkwardly standing up as he heart speeds up.
"Give me a minute, and then we can set the spare bed up at my place" calls Kelly.
"Why are you staying with Kelly?" asks Sasha.
Payson's mind goes blank and her eyes get wide as she opens and closes her mouth trying to think of something to say but nothing comes out.
"No reason" she stutters.
Sasha looks at her in that way that always makes her cave and she turns her back so she doesn't blab her guts out.
"Payson?" he asks placing a hand on her arm so she turns.
"Kelly hurry up" Payson almost yells as she feels the tears welling up in her eyes.
"Okay Jesus I get you want to avoid Rigo but seriously calm down it's not like you have to deal with this until tomorrow once we've planned how to talk to Sasha and Rigo, or maybe we should do it the other way around" calls Kelly.
"Kelly shut up" yells Payson as her panic level sets in.
"Payson?" asks Sasha in a concerned voice.
"Found it, now we can go" calls Kelly walking out she stops dead when she sees Payson looking freaked out with Sasha stood in front of her a hand on her arm.
"Oh shit" squeaks Kelly.
"What's going on?" asks Sasha.
At that moment Payson just dissolves into tears.
Kelly runs down the stairs.
"What's going on Kelly?" demands Sasha getting worried as he looks between the sobbing Payson and the nervous Kelly.
"Um she's just emotional, time of the month" tries Kelly.
"Then why were you talking about Rigo and me and how she wants to avoid him?" demands Sasha.
"Shit, um can we do this tomorrow because as you see Payson is in not fit state to be talking right now?" asks Kelly.
"Nice try, its okay Payson, calm down whatever this is we can work through this together" he promises.
This just makes her cry harder and her legs give out nearly dragging Kelly down with her but Sasha catches her first.
"Okay maybe we do need to sort this out now" admits Kelly.
"Oh you think?" asks Sasha as he sets Payson down on the mat and sits next to her with Kelly on her other side.
"Now talk" he orders.
"We went out for a drink and we started talking and we dealt with some issues except now Payson doesn't know how to deal with them" explains Kelly.
"What issues?" asks Sasha.
"Relationship ones" says Kelly.
"She seemed so happy earlier and if she's only been with you then how could issues have developed?" asks Sasha in bewilderment.
"We were talking and well Payson finally realised Rigo isn't the right guy for her, because her heart belongs somewhere else, and it always has" says Kelly looking at Sasha.
"You didn't I told you not to meddle, she was happy now look at her" growls Sasha.
"Well before this she was fine, and you know I'm right, you love each other, deal with it" snaps Kelly.
"Kelly pushing this onto an impressionable Payson who is susceptible to alcohol is not a good thing now you've completely confused her" argues Sasha.
"When have you known Payson do anything she didn't want to huh Sasha?" demands Kelly.
"That's not the point" argues Sasha.
"She's right" mumbles Payson.
Both of them look at her.
"She is?" asks Sasha.
Payson pulls her head up from his shirt to look at him, "yes, she is" repeats Payson.
"And on that note I'll leave you two to have some privacy I'll be outside" says Kelly getting up and walking out.
A/N Cliffhanger, I'm sorry I know that is a horrible place to leave it but I'm trying to prolong this as much as possible, and Brooke and everyone else who cares I can honestly say I have started a sequel and it will be 100% Sasha/Payson.
So give me your thoughts, an outcry of how horrible I am to leave you here or whatever else you want I'd love to know what you think so as always Review, review, review.
P.S. i promise the next chapter which is totally Payson/Sasha with some Kelly as well, will be up tomorrow so don't get the torches and pitchforks just yet :)
Also please check out my other story The heart wants what the heart wants.