Chapter 3, Pumpkin Pie
Autumn had finally come again. It was Thanksgiving Day evening. Leaves gently cascaded from the sky, dancing across the blacktop gracefully with a crisp gust of breeze as they had done for centuries. The sleepy sun that hung over South Park was descending, accenting the clouds with a gold and magenta feast for the eyes.
Eric Cartman stared out his bedroom window blankly. So much had already happened over the course of the year... So much had changed. If you had suggested to the plump, chestnut-haired boy a year before that a certain skinny, penniless blonde would worm his way into his heart, he would have laughed in your face.
Kenny meant everything to Cartman by this point, even if he was still too stubborn to admit so properly. The last few months had been magical; they had found out so much about one another, both good things and bad, and had become all the more closer for it.
The fact remained that the two were gay. By this point, everyone had more or less begun to accept their relationship. At first, there had been plenty of teasing, and Mrs. Cartman had even reluctantly sent her son to therapy due to the suggestions and murmurings of South Park's more conservative residents.
Cartman's impression of the therapist was not a good one. She had tried to pry into his mind and twist his thoughts around so as to turn him against his beloved boyfriend. After about ten or so minutes of this, the unphased Cartman screamed at the therapist, calling her a 'rachet, penguin shit-eating skank', and storming out of her office. No one ever attempted to bring him back to therapy after that.
He had met up with Kenny the next day. Cartman could remember their conversation perfectly...
"K-K-Keeenny," Cartman blubbed, clutching the other boy's arm tightly. "Th-Therapy was horrible... Th-The bitch wanted me to leave youuu."
Kenny furrowed his eyebrows, letting out a muffled sigh. "(Quit being a crybaby and let go of my arm, Eric. It's gonna be ok...)"
"Bu-But Kenny," Cartman sniffed, looking up at him with tears in his slightly puffy brown eyes.
Kenny shook his head, wrapping his arms around the other male and hugging him close. "(Shh, it'll be ok. Just forget about it. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere.)"
Cartman grinned sheepishly. Kenny was always there for him. Kenny always knew what to say to make him feel better, even in his worst of moods. Sure, whatever Kenny would say would usually be barely understandable, but it always helped. Suddenly, the sound of the doorbell from downstairs snapped Cartman out of his thoughts. The doorbell could only be the McCormicks; Mrs. Cartman, knowing the family's daily fair was most definitely not appropriate for this holiday of gluttony, had invited them over for Turkey Day dinner.
Cartman heard his mother letting the McCormicks in. She was saying hello, how pleased she was to have them all over... And probably dropping subtle innuendos while she was at it. It really disgusted Eric how provacative his mother was sometimes.
He could hear her telling them all to make theirselves at home.
Within a few minutes, Cartman heard a knock at his bedroom door. "Come in," he said automatically without even looking. He knew it was Kenny. It could only be Kenny.
Silently, Kenny opened the door and made his way to Cartman, hugging him from behind. "(Hey there, handsome,)" he said, burying his face in his boyfriend's soft, pudgy neck.
By this point, Cartman had, for the most part, gotten used to Kenny's coquettish touchy-feeliness, and wasn't usually too embarrassed by it as long as they were alone. And, for the moment at least, they were.
"Hey," said Cartman casually, leaning slightly into Kenny's embrace. "Glad ya could make it."
Kenny hummed. "(And how're you today, Marshmallow?)"
"Hungry," was Cartman's automatic response. He snorted at the use of the pet name, feeling his face heat up. "Don't call me a marshmallow you fucking twig."
Kenny let out a muffled laugh from within his orange parka.
It was then that Mrs. Cartman appeared in the doorway, knocking softly even though it was open.
"Eric, sweetiekins, dinner's ready," she said. "You two adorable little lovebirds can come along when you're ready. Everyone else is already at the table."
With that, she left.
Cartman groaned. "I wish that bitch would stay out of our business," he muttered, more to himself rather than Kenny.
Kenny shrugged as he let go of the other boy. "(She seems like a nice enough woman... And everyone's always saying how great she is in bed-)"
Cartman glared at him. "You shut the fuck up about that, Kenny," he spat. "And calm your goddamn hormones. C'mon, let's go eat."
The two went downstairs and into the dining room. Cartman paused in the doorway to survey the guests, already sitting down at the table. There was Stuart and Carol McCormick, Kenny's alcoholic, bitchy, flea-ridden parents. There was Kenny's older brother Kevin McCormick, a taller boy with a messy face like his parents and parted brown hair. And last but not least was Karen McCormick, Kenny's little sister. She looked about to cry; her parents were arguing over how to go about dishing out the food.
Cartman sat down at the head of the table quietly, jerking his head towards an empty seat between his and Karen's for Kenny.
Kenny obediently climbed onto the chair, consoling Karen as they waited for the food to be served.
Eventually, Mrs. Cartman finished getting out the food, and she sat down. Everyone began to pile their plates up high, especially Cartman, who could barely be seen behind the enormous mountain of food on his plate.
They ate their meal in silence, with only a little light bantering between the three adults. But then, a loud, horrible gagging noise interrupted them.
Cartman looked over in shock at Kenny, who seemed to be choking on a piece of pumpkin pie. "Somebody help him! Oh god, somebody help him!" he screeched, panicking, flailing his arms, and accidentally flinging some mashed potatoes at the wall.
Stuart rushed over to his son's side, grabbing him and shaking him back and forth. "Come on, damn you!" he growled.
The other guests looked on in horror, while Cartman only facepalmed at this man's stupidity. That was definitely not how CPR worked.
Kenny stopped choking. There was a horrible stillness, utter silence, for a couple minutes. Everyone's mind was on the same thing. Was he dead? Had the pie (that bastard) killed him?
Cartman clenched his fists, tears forming in his chocolate-brown eyes. Kenny couldn't die. Not now. Not today. Sure, it was a pretty regular occurrance for Kenny to die or be killed somehow, but that didn't make it any easier to bear whenever it happened.
"No, no, no..." he whispered, hopping down off his chair and toddling over to Kenny's. He took the boy in his arms, tears splashing down on his orange parka. "I... I swear, if you're dying on me again..." he choked, holding him tight.
Kenny's eyes suddenly snapped open. He pulled off his hood, smirked, and pecked Cartman's cheek. "Hahah, gotcha~"
"...THAT WASN'T FUNNEH YOU SICK LIL FUCK!"