Chapter 2

"Madame Vastra? The great detective? Good Lord!" Litefoot pulled more of the canvas back and let it drop, leaving the reptilian form uncovered to the waist. She was wearing a military styled tunic. It was the tunic of a senior officer, unless he was mistaken, although he did not recognize the regiment or many of the insignia at all. The colour of the fabric was an olive green, darker, since it was wet, no doubt, and not dissimilar to that of the scales covering her face. Perhaps an Indian regiment, then: some had adopted a colour of this sort he recalled. It seemed intact and in good condition other than a burned and blackened area below her ribs. "Henry, you knew her? I had no idea. I never had the privilege myself."

"Yes. Years ago, though. Not long after she arrived in London, as I remember: long before she set up as a consulting detective. It must be.. ohh, the best part of twenty years gone now. She was the star turn in one of m'first shows in the old Palace. Astonishin' acrobat, and knife-thrower too, quite besides her looks."

"So this is her, Mr Jago. You're quite certain?" Quick asked.

"What? Oh yes, it's her. She's hardly changed at all."

"Hardly changed?" Litefoot broke in once more, looking up from his initial examination, "Henry, do you mean to say that she has always looked… well, like this?"

"Oh yes. 'The Amazing Lizard Lady', that's how she was billed, and there was no fakery to it."

"Extraordinary! I'd heard that she suffered from some medical condition, but I didn't realise…" the professor trailed off.

"We didn't think that there was much doubt about it, on account of that," Quick explained, "and Gregson was fairly sure, but-"

The Inspector was interrupted by a voluble exchange coming from the corridor. The voices were muffled at first, but seconds later the mortuary door crashed open, and a broad, squat, dome-headed figure strode in.

"Drop your weapons, Human scum, and prepare to- Aha, there she is." The newcomer lowered the item – seemingly part crossbow, part ear-trumpet - that he had been holding in front of him, and placed it on an instrument tray.

As he moved further into the room, a much taller, and altogether more normal looking, man followed him through the door. "As I told you, Mr. Strax, no-one is resisting your entrance. Quite the opposite, in fact." Inspector Gregson nodded a greeting to Quick, and moved to introduce Mr Strax to the others. It was quite clear, however, that Strax was not listening, so he shook hands with Jago and the professor himself, instead, as the odd, dwarfish newcomer took off his Inverness cape and produced another, equally extraordinary, device from a pocket.

Activating with a rising series of beeps, several appendages and tools telescoped out of the complex, button covered box that Mr. Strax now held out towards the lifeless figure on the table.

Litefoot stepped sharply to interpose himself between Strax and the table. "Now wait one moment, my good fellow. As the pathologist called in to examine this unfortunate lady's remains, might I ask who you are and what, exactly, you intend to do with this… thing?"

Strax paused, eyeing the professor up and down, then stepped quickly to one side, jabbing the box closer towards the body as he did. Litefoot followed, blocking his way once again.

"Miss, kindly step out of my way! I am genetically programmed for all combat medic and nursing functions, and am currently in service to Madame Vastra. One of my primary duties is to determine, at all times, whether she is alive or dead."

"Well really! I understand that you are concerned for your mistress - although I'm not sure that I understood much else - but-"

"It's just his manner of speaking, Professor." Inspector Gregson spoke up from behind Strax, discretely rotating a finger at his forehead, "Mr Strax is a um… foreigner, I believe, and has his little ways."

"Hmm, very well." Litefoot replied. He turned his attention back to the whirring device that Strax carried. "Now what exactly is this mechanism?"

Although the professor did his best to follow Strax's subsequent explanation of the device's many functions, his final conclusion was only that Strax, at least, believed it to be a very useful aid in diagnosis and uncovering something of the subject's medical history. Having encountered a good many extraordinary mechanical and electrical wonders over the years, he eventually agreed its use and to a joint examination of the body with Mr Strax.

It did not take them long to confirm that the body – that Madame Vastra – was indeed quite dead. Litefoot had had little doubt of that even following his brief initial examination. This was no time for a full autopsy, but if Strax's device was to be believed, and from Litefoot's own observations, then it seemed that Vastra had died only a few hours previously, she had been dead before she entered the water, and the cause of death seemed to be the scorched, blackened patch on her midriff.

"A primitive but effective neutron blaster." Strax decided, after consulting the readings from his diagnostic tool, "Massive internal trauma resulting in instant and total death. A splendid weapon and an honourable death. I will begin arrangements for a dignified tissue recycling service."

He stepped back from the table, and operated a switch on the device, which then folded in on itself to an impossible degree. Strax slipped it into a pocket and moved toward the door, reaching for his Inverness. "I must go at once and report this to her."

"To whom, Mr Strax?" Litefoot enquired.

"To Madame Vastra, of course."

Jago and Inspector Quick exchanged glances. "But," said Litefoot, "have we not determined that this is Madame Vastra's body?"

"Indeed. She will be most intrigued." Strax collected his crossbow-device from its tray as he spoke.

"Are you then saying that Vastra is alive? That this is some doppleganger?"

"Oh no, it is her. Now please stand aside Miss, I must return to the command bunker. Scalpel mines do not arm themselves!" He turned smartly, broad cape swirling around him, and swept through the doorway.

Litefoot followed him into the corridor, with Jago, Gregson and Quick hot on his heels. "Mr Strax," he called out, "if you are truly expecting to speak to 'Madame Vastra' about this, as you say, I think that we would very much like to accompany you." The others chorused their puzzled agreement.

"Impossible! Permitting human civilians into a grade 3 potential combat sector is strictly against the Mistress's orders. Unless as bio-weapons, or emergency rations, of course."

"I say, Mr. Strax, are you really sure that she'd not want to see an old theatrical acquaintance again?" Jago interjected. He was struggling to keep up with events and more than a little concerned about the mention of battles and weaponry, but eager to pursue this mystery. "To precis a prior professional partnership and peruse proud performances from the past? It's been such a long time, and I'd dearly like to pay my respects to the good lady in person, especially since she's err… departed from the mortal coil, as it seems."

Strax paused and turned back to them, bringing out the diagnostic scanner once more. "You have worked with Madame Vastra in the past, have you?" He activated it and thrust it towards Jago, peering through a glowing eyeglass that had sprouted from it. "Interesting!"

Jago drew back from the beeping mechanism in alarm but, as he recovered and started to elaborate on his past involvement with madame Vastra, Strax turned his attention - and the device - towards Litefoot.

The professor, too, recoiled, but quickly recovered and defiantly thrust out his chin. "I can assure you, Mr Strax, should you have any doubt, that neither Mr Jago nor I are in any sense dead. You do not need this contrivance to confirm that!"

"You, and you, have an active chronal resonance." Strax said, indicating Jago and Litefoot, "You may accompany me to Madame Vastra's residence." He briefly waved the device at Quick and Gregson. "But not you or you."

The Inspectors both began to object, with Gregson, particularly, adamant that further official investigation demanded visiting the house in Paternoster Row. Strax however, was firm in his decision, and began to stride off once more.

Seeing that Mr. Strax was unlikely to be persuaded further, Professor Litefoot spoke up. "We'd better do as Mr Strax asks, I think, inspector. Mr Jago and I will see if we can get to the bottom of this and we'll let you know as soon as we do. Oh Mr. Strax? Mr Strax? We'll be with you in just a moment. We're on our way!"

Strax had reached the end of the corridor and left the double doors to swing to with an echoing slam. Litefoot dashed back to the mortuary door and hurriedly hung his apron back on its peg. Jago followed and together they juggled with Litefoot's jacket and cane, and both their coats and hats as they hurried down the passage in pursuit of the strange foreign dwarf.