3 – Here to Help

'What?' said Colin.

'How did you know we were coming?' asked Hermione.

'Aren't you…aren't you the reinforcements?' asked the man.

'Look at 'em,' said one of the other men around the table. 'Two of 'em are kids. I told ya. The Ministry doesn't care about us. They'll leave us 'ere to kill as many of the little buggers as we can before we kick the bucket. We're just a distraction for the goblins.'

'No!' said the first wizard. 'No, they won't just leave us here.'

The other wizard standing around the table put a hand on the first wizard's shoulder. 'You've got to face the facts. The Ministry doesn't have the resources to support us.' Hearing her voice, Hermione realised the third wizard was really a witch with her hair cut short for convenience.

'But this is Headquarters!' said the first wizard. 'They can't abandon Headquarters.'

'Whatever,' said the second wizard. This was clearly an argument they'd had before.

'So,' said the first wizard, turning to face the Doctor, Hermione and Colin, 'are you reinforcements?'

'No,' said the Doctor. 'We were just passing through and thought we'd have a look.'

'You thought you'd just "have a look" at the main battleground of the goblin rebellion?' said the witch, disbelief written all over her face.

'That's right,' said the Doctor, grinning.

'O-Kaaaaay,' said the witch.

Hermione turned to the Doctor. 'Doctor,' she whispered, 'that sounded like sarcasm. Did they have sarcasm in 1612? All their language seems very modern.'

'Oh, that's just the TARDIS translation circuit,' said the Doctor. 'They really aren't saying what you're hearing. The TARDIS is telepathic. It's translating what they're saying in your head, and what you're saying as well. Both groups are hearing the sort of language they expect to hear.'

'It's in my head?' said Hermione, sounding as though she didn't like that idea at all.

'The TARDIS isn't going to hurt you. It's just like a Babel fish, except you don't have to stick anything in your ear, and it works both ways.'

'Does it work for written languages? And alien languages?' asked Colin.

'Yep,' said the Doctor. 'There's sometimes a bit of a delay for written languages though.'

'Awesome,' said Colin. 'I am going to ace my Study of Ancient Runes class this year.'

'You do Ancient Runes?' said Hermione.

'Yeah,' said Colin. 'There's no need to sound so surprised. I do actually do more with my life than take photos, speaking of which…' He raised his camera and took a photo of the room.

'I wasn't surprised,' said Hermione. 'I was just…'

'Surprised,' said Colin.

'Well, maybe a bit, but… but… look, we should probably stop whispering to each other now.'

The three of them looked up. The witches and wizards in the room were looking at them very oddly.

'Who are you people?' said the witch standing at the table.

'I'm the Doctor,' said the Doctor. 'This is Hermione, and that's Colin. We're here to help.'

'Well, I'm Angela,' said the witch.

'I'm Wentworth,' said the first wizard at the table.

'Fairfax,' grunted the second wizard.

'Do you really think you can help us?' asked Wentworth.

'We can try,' said Hermione.

Fairfax snorted. 'Just thinking you'll give a whirl, are ya? Come back when you've been in a real fight.'

The Doctor stepped forward, changing from happy five-year-old to terrifying warrior in a split second. 'I have been in wars worse than anything you can ever imagine, and I don't want to see another species destroyed through idiocy. Is that alright with you?'

Fairfax scowled. 'Fine. See what good it'll do.'

The trio walked over to the table. There was a map of Hogsmeade spread across it, with coloured red and green tokens spread all over it.

'We're the green tokens,' said Wentworth. 'The red ones are the goblins.'

They looked at the map. Pretty much all the green tokens were in a stack on top of The Three Broomsticks, with a few scattered randomly through the village. The red tokens were all in groups of four or five, spread evenly around the centre of Hogsmeade, which meant that The Three Broomsticks was surrounded. As they watched, one of the green tokens moved. The Doctor made a surprised sound.

'What?' said Hermione.

'It moved,' said the Doctor.

'Of course it moved,' said Hermione. 'How else are they going to keep track of where everyone is? Putting spells on tokens to monitor what's happening outside is quite a common tactic when fighting, especially in urban environments.'

The green token moved out of an alleyway and onto the main road of Hogsmeade. One of the red tokens turned black.

'He got one!' said Wentworth, but as the words left his mouth the green token also turned black.

'Who was that?' asked Angela.

Wentworth picked up the black token and looked at the crest on it. 'One of the Prewetts,' he said.

'Who?' said Hermione.

'Prewett. The family name's Prewett.'

'Oh,' said Hermione in a small voice.

'Anyway,' said Angela, 'as you can see, we're both outnumbered and outmanoeuvred. Do any of you have any worthwhile ideas?'

'Have you tried talking to them?' said Colin.

'Don't be stupid,' said Fairfax. 'Ya can't talk with the goblins.'

'Why not?' said Colin. 'They're not just rebelling for the hell of it. They must want something.'

'That's right,' said Hermione. 'Currently, they're underrepresented in the Wizengamot, wizards are trying to enslave them as house elves, and they're probably still cross over those goblin murders years ago.'

'There, you see?' said Colin. 'Try bargaining with them.'

Wentworth looked doubtful. 'Well, it's pretty radical tactic, I'll give you that,' he said.

'We need radical,' said Angela. 'Fairfax, go find us a white flag.'

'This won't work,' said Fairfax as he wandered out of the main room. 'We should stand and fight.'

'And how's that working so far?' Wentworth called after him. Fairfax didn't reply.

A few minutes later, Fairfax was back with a white shirt tied to a stick.

'Here,' he said, tossing it at Angela.

'Right,' said Angela. 'Let's go.'

She led the way out of The Three Broomsticks onto Hogsmeade's main road. There were no goblins in sight.

'Hello?' Angela called. 'Anyone there?'

The six of them looked around nervously. Hermione saw a flicker of movement.

'Protego!' she yelled. The shield appeared and a green flash of light collided with it.

'Goblins, stop that!' yelled Angela. 'We want to make a bargain with your leader. The Ministry of Magic has given me full authority to make any treaties that I see fit, so get out here.'

A group of goblins emerged from a street.

'I am Urg the Unclean,' said one of them. 'If you all drop your wands, we will make a bargain.'

'No deal,' said Wentworth. 'Goblins can cast magic without wands.'

Urg shrugged. 'It was worth a try. What about an exchange of hostages?'

The Doctor bent down and whispered to Hermione and Colin, 'I think they've got this under control. We should probably leave.'

'What about the treaty?' asked Hermione.

'Treaties are boring,' said the Doctor. 'It's just two days of sitting around and talking, and then they sign a piece of paper.

'Fine,' said Hermione. 'Let's go.'

'Just a sec,' said Colin. He took several photos of the goblins and the wizards who had filed out of The Three Broomsticks after them. He even got a shot of Fairfax, who looked very unhappy with the fact that there were so many goblins nearby and he couldn't shoot any of them.

The Doctor tapped Angela on the shoulder, interrupting her negotiations with Urg. 'We're going,' he said. 'Good luck, and nice to meet you.'

'Oh…goodbye,' said Angela.

'Bye,' said Wentworth, smiling at them.

Fairfax made a grunting sound that could be interpreted as a range of different things. Hermione decided to take it as a 'goodbye'.

The Doctor, Hermione and Colin slipped out of the group of wizards and walked along the main road of Hogsmeade. Urg the Unclean raised his voice angrily, but Angela said something to him and he subsided.

The trio reached the TARDIS and the Doctor unlocked the door, leading them inside.

'Doctor,' said Hermione.

'Mmm?' said the Doctor.

'The thing I don't understand is in our history books, there's no mention of a treaty. Not even at attempt at one. So what just happened?'

'Time isn't a straight line,' said the Doctor. 'It's all wibbly-wobbly, and it's in a constant state of flux. There are very few fixed points, so anything you do can change what you think has already happened. You two just prevented a great deal of bloodshed.'

'Cool,' said Colin.

The Doctor grinned at him and then turned to the TARDIS console, flicking levers and pushing buttons. The TARDIS made its vrwoorrp, vrwoorrp, vrwoorrp sound, then stopped.

'Where are we?' asked Colin.

'Where I met you, only a couple of hours later,' said the Doctor. 'You guys look like you could use a bit of a rest. How does same time tomorrow sound?'

Colin and Hermione grinned at each other.

'Great,' said Hermione.

'Awesome,' said Colin.

The Doctor clicked his fingers and the TARDIS doors swung open. 'See you tomorrow,' he said.

'Bye,' they said.

. . .

Half an hour later, Hermione was back home. After saying a quick 'hello' to her parents, she dashed upstairs and pulled out her copy of A History of Magic and flicked to the chapter on the goblin rebellions. She found the section she was looking for and began to read.

The 1612 rebellion ended in a treaty. The treaty stated that there would be more goblin representation in the Wizengamot and that goblins would not be forced into slavery. There was also an informal promise made to look into the goblin murders that occurred thirty years earlier, but nothing every came of it.

However, the Wand Ban of 1632 caused more goblin/wizard resentment, which culminated in more goblin rebellions in the 1700s. In retaliation, the Ministry of Magic once again reduced goblin representation in the Wizengamot, which drove even more goblins to rebel. Both these issues are still unresolved.

'Well,' Hermione said to herself, 'we made a bit of a difference.' Her eyes drifted up to the top of the page, where a few words caught her eye.

'Uh oh,' she said. 'That's not good.'