Hide drummed his fingers on the table nervously, a new experience for him. He was never nervous, curious, yes, and maybe a bit excitable, but nervous? No. It was- he checked his phone- exactly 34 minutes after the time he had set for what he dubbed his and Kaneki's first official date. Sure, they had hung out here plenty of times, but he was finally over his unintentional hang up on Shiro, and allowed himself to see Kaneki in a light previously ignored.

The cup of coffee across from him had long ago stopped sending curls of steam into the air, and his own cup sat for the most part untouched. Hide folded his arms on the table and burrowed his head into the sleeves of his jacket, unease turning in his stomach like a serpent. Had he said too much to Kaneki in his texts last night? Had he scared him away for good? Someone clearing their throat had him raising his head back up. It was Touka, the young waitress who was an old friend of Kaneki's; apparently, they had known each other since she started high school. He was a bit envious, and at times he felt that the feeling was reciprocated.

"Where's Kaneki?" Hide blurted, hoping that the waitress had some explanation other than Hide had screwed up big time. She shrugged. The bags under her eyes looked deeper, darker, and she moved sluggishly as she collected the cups of coffee.

"Who knows what he's up to, really. You shouldn't be concerned though." As she turned to leave with her tray, something blazed in her eyes for a split second, giving Hide chills. "In fact, you should really probably leave him alone. Forget about him, he doesn't need you."

"Because he has you, right?" Hide snapped, unable to help himself. He regretted it immediately afterwards, sighing mournfully as she left with a huff, shoulders tense. He knew that Kaneki really wasn't his to protect, that Touka had been by his side much longer than he had, but couldn't she share just a bit? Though, after his stunt that he pulled last night, he might've lost his grip on Kaneki forever.

Ugh, no, that wouldn't do. He would act like the adult he was and attempt to at least talk to Kaneki before jumping to any dramatic conclusions. This wasn't some tragedy, after all.

He left cash on the tabletop, waving to another waiter as Touka blatantly ignored him. He didn't bother covering his ears with his headphones. He wanted to think about what exactly he was going to say, how he could fix whatever remained between him and Kaneki. Anteiku was not far enough from the half-ghoul's apartment to warrant taking a bus or another mode of transportation, but it was not close enough prevent Hide from feeling a bit winded as he rounded the corner onto the right street.

As he walked up to Kaneki's door, he checked his phone again. No messages. And it was almost 1:30, as well, and Hide felt his stomach grumble. He probably should have eaten at the café, as Kaneki most likely didn't have anything in his cabinets besides coffee, but he would leave that particular concern for now. He focused his energy in delivering three sharp knocks against the door, frowning when he heard no movement inside. He knocked again, and this time, the door opened a few second later.

Kaneki stood in the doorframe, hair and clothes a rumpled mess. He was only in his t-shirt and boxers, and his eyes betrayed his lack of sleep.

"Hello, Hide. Um, come in." He mumbled, and his socked feet shuffled aside so that Hide could step into the sparsely decorated living room. Kaneki gestured half-heartedly to the couch on the far wall, opposite a medium-sized television, before moving to the kitchen. Hide sat, patient, and listened to the sounds of Kaneki making coffee. There was something oddly comforting about the whir of the grinder, the hiss as the water escaped into the air. Eventually, Kaneki returned with a dim smile, holding two mugs like victory trophies.

"Dude." Hide started, taking his coffee thankfully. The couch dipped to one side as Kaneki sat close to him, though still on the other cushion. "Where were you, man? Hiding away in here?" He didn't mean to sound upset, but Kaneki was usually the more punctual one of the two, and Hide was already a bit antsy. Kaneki's brows drew together, lips turning down.

"What do you mean? I just got up, Hide. I tend to sleep in on- on weekends. Because I don't usually go anywhere anyway, so..." Kaneki said, tilting his head thoughtfully. Great! Then he hadn't read Hide's text! As relieved as he felt, a swirling sense of regret tainted it, curling his stomach tight.

"Just got- Jesus, Kaneki, and I thought I was bad. And you can't stay cooped up in here! You have me to occupy now!" Hide said, waving one hand as if to emphasize his words.

"Oh, well, sorry, I didn't know the earth revolved around you, Hide." Kaneki teased, making Hide grin. He had nothing to worry about.

"Of course it does. I'm the Sun, duh." Kaneki laughed outright, jostling Hide, and his coffee, with the movement. They slid closer, and Hide's heart rate picked up. Could Kaneki hear it?

"Ah, watch it, we don't want a repeat of when we met! And besides, rabbits can die of loneliness, you know."

"You're not a rabbit, Hide." He chuckled, and Hide turned to look him dead in the eyes. Oh wow, they were closer than he originally thought. Their noses were only a few inches apart.

"I wasn't talking about me, Kaneki." Hide countered, fighting down the urge to look away.

"O-oh... I'm sorry for missing our..." Kaneki trailed off, flushing red. However wavering his voice was, the ghoul's grey eyes didn't move. It looked like he wasn't even breathing.

"Date." Hide confirmed, leaning a fraction closer. Don't run now, Kaneki, not when we're so close like this...

"Date?" Kaneki breathes, and he sounds hopeful, and he's so cute, and their lips are almost touching-

The pressure on Hide's lips happens at once, instantaneous, and so, so agonizingly slow. He takes a moment to appreciate the softness of Kaneki's lips, before he realizes, oh yeah, kissing is kind of a two-person deal. He wants to push back, and he tilts his head, in order to move their noses out of the way, this seemed right-

Something hot that was in fact something very real and not the desire that was supposedly supposed to be burning, ow, in the pit of his stomach spread acorns his lower torso and lap. Kaneki sprang back- apparently it affected him too.

"Dammit, Hide." Kaneki sighed, standing and taking the blonde's now empty mug. Oh. He internally cursed himself as Kaneki waddled to the kitchen, shame taking its turn to darken his face. Instead of coming back to the couch, Kaneki slipped into the back rooms of the apartment. Bathroom? Bedroom? His question was answered a few minutes later when the half-ghoul came back in sweatpants, tossing a pair at Hide.

"The bathroom is on the left side, second door." Hide stood, wincing at the huge spill that stained his jeans. Well, he may not have screwed up with the text, but he definitely goofed this time. Kaneki caught sight of his expression, and his features softened.

"Hey, it was an accident. And... I checked my phone. Go change and we can listen to that CD, okay?" Kaneki smiled softly, brushing Hide's hand as he passed. Oh, thank heavens. Hide changed in record time, hesitating only a moment before he shucked off his underwear as well. The sweatpants were only a bit small in the legs and waist, and then it hit Hide that he was wearing Kaneki's clothes. His... boyfriend's clothes? Something swooped low in his stomach, making him giggle. He had to keep himself from skipping as he made his way back to Kaneki, finding the other on the couch reading.

"Kaneki, will you be my boyfriend?" He asked breathlessly, and Kaneki's eyes shot up, wide as saucers.

"I-I suppose, Hide, but I thought that went without saying." He answered, folding the corner of the page he was on. Oh, so he did dog-ear his books! With a skip in his step, he flopped down next to Kaneki so that their thighs were touching. Though Kaneki gave him a look, he didn't complain, and Hide pulled his headphones out of his phone so that he could share his audio with Kaneki. Once upon a time, he would have been stingy with it, wanting to keep the music, the meaning, the members for himself. But Kaneki, Kaneki was special, and he felt the words form on the tip of his tongue, heavy and sweet. He held onto the feeling though, wanting to savor and simmer it a bit longer.

After a moment of fumbling, Hide set his phone face up on their thighs, balanced between them. He hit play, and he felt Kaneki shift, and then a foreign weight on his shoulder. Hide sighed contentedly as Kaneki turned his head, nose pressed to Hide's neck.

Rome wasn't built in day

And that was their mistake

Cause trust takes years to build

But only one second to-

And the horns blared, the band marched

In circles, in circles

I saw my world, my walls, crumble, and learned that

nothing is eternal

And I cry for me, I cry for them, I even cry for you

Because what they see as victory, I see as overdue

And as I run, from what they've done, battles that I've never won,

I feel the mark of failure brand me like a tattoo

Kaneki's soft puffs of breath get slower, and Hide tries not to move too much in order to avoid waking him. Feeling so close to someone was deeply comforting, and he was thankful to Kaneki for accepting him so readily. Though, he supposed, Kaneki could say the same thing to Hide. Haha, how could someone sleep as much as Kaneki, even if he was out late?

Come to think of it, what was Kaneki doing out so late?

Hide shook his head. He knew ghouls had long preferred the dark over the light, although, Kankei had exceeded Hide's expectations, disproved his assumptions, every time. But he wouldn't press, he wouldn't ever press, Kaneki for anything. He swiped his music off- it didn't matter that Kaneki hadn't heard a word. Just spending time with him was the blonde's true intentions.

oOo

The only reason that the man was able to sneak up on Kaneki was that he was quite lost in thought about one Nagachika Hideyoshi. His official boyfriend. That he could hold hands with, and kiss, and watch movies with, and cuddle. And keep secrets from. The thought dimmed Kaneki's mood considerably, along with the slight rock of the wooden table as someone slid onto the bench across from him. Hide would not sit- he would perhaps come up behind Kaneki, and do that terribly cliche thing of covering his eyes and taunting him with a "guess who?", or maybe running his hands along his shoulders, tickling the half-ghoul's neck to make him cringe onto his fingers. Kaneki looked up from his novel and immediately felt sick.

Tsukiyama Shuu smirked, chin perched on his folded hands. His horrible purple hair and predatory gaze reminded him too much of Rize, and he was looking at Kaneki like he wanted to eat him. He also looked as if he knew exactly who Kaneki was, and why else would he be sitting there, oh god. The sudden shock chilled him to the bone, and it must have registered on his face, because Tsukiyama smiled wider.

"Bonjour, Shiro-kun. It's very unusual to see you in your natural habitat." Kaneki swallowed nervously at his easy, conversational voice. He needed to stay composed, so that no one would suspect anything. Even though Tsukiyama already looked very, very conspicuous.

"Please, don't call me that. Kaneki is fine." He said lowly, closing his book. He figured that telling the man his name wouldn't hurt, as he already knew where to find him. If he wanted to expose the half-ghoul, he easily could.

"Alright then, Kaneki-kun. Now, as you may have guessed, I have found you for a reason." The ghoul said jovially. His tone was appraising, possessive, almost. It made Kaneki want to crawl under a rock and never be seen again. Instead, he nodded.

"Trés bien! Thank you for being so accommodating, dear Kaneki-kun! As you have probably heard, I am quite an avid fan. And I have noticed a decline in profitability due to decreased showings and preposterously difficult marketing tactics." A look of almost pensive sadness overwhelmed his features, and Kaneki couldn't help but think it looked like a mask. Kaneki kept silent, encouraging Tsukiyama to continue with a gesture.

"I would like to become involved in the band, both financially and managerial-wise. Plus, the fans already think Rize and I are related, so wouldn't it be delightful? I'd hate to see my favorite pastimes crash and burn like so many others before them." Tsukiyama stood up with a flourish.

"It would simply be too much to bear, Kaneki-kun!" He finished, with a hand over his heart. Kaneki felt so much second-hand embarrassment.

"Please sit down, Tsukiyama-san. You realize that only Rize-san would be able to hire you?" Kaneki asked when the ghoul finally sat back down. The glint in Tsukiyama's eyes belied his unwillingness to comply before he even opened his mouth.

"Now, I'm only looking out for you of course! I would hate for anything bad to happen- to any of you." Kaneki's blood ran cold. He knew a threat when he heard one. Where was Hide?

Although, maybe it was better that he didn't see this. He might- no, he would suspect...

"Of course. You can act as a sort of sponsor, I guess, until I talk to the manager and work out a permanent position for you. You could still get a say in our affairs and have a hand in our expenses." Kaneki replied reluctantly, and he hoped that Tsukiyama couldn't hear the fear that threatened to rattle his voice. With a grin that reminded Kaneki of big cats baring their teeth, snarling, Tsukiyama rose again.

"Merci, merci, lovely Kaneki-kun! Let me know when I can be of service, and when my position opens up. I'll be awaiting your call." Tsukiyama strode over to Kaneki's side of the table and slipped him a card with a phone number and the letters MM engraving the front in fancy script. As the ghoul walked away, whistling, Kaneki carefully placed the card into his pocket. This was exactly why his identity was a secret! And now the possible safety of not only himself but his friends was on the line...?

"Yo, Kaneki!" Hide jostled him as the blonde draped himself over his shoulders. "Sorry if you've been waiting long! I had to stop by the library for some homework research, but I got it done, so now we can go to Anteiku and chill. Oh, unless you have work?" Hide was leaning over, so that he could look into Kaneki's face.

"U-um, yes, coffee would be nice. But I... I do have some work, so we can't stay long..." Kaneki managed, subtly shaking his boyfriend off. The blonde was still enthusiastic, though, and that alone managed to lift Kaneki's spirits a tad.

"One black coffee... And a mocha latte for me today, please!" Hide ordered happily, and the new waitress blushed and batted her eyelashes. Ugh. Kaneki reached over and took Hide's hand, without looking at her. He had nothing to worry about. Except lies and vaguely homicidal ghouls. Hide smiled at the waitress one last time as she walked away, after her eyes locked on their joined hands.

"I knew she was flirting, you know." Hide said, sliding his thumb over Kaneki's knuckles.

"Hmm. You could have shut her down." Kaneki suggested, looking to where the waitress was gossiping to the barista that was making their drinks. He sighed as Hide's ministrations slowed.

"Say, Kaneki, what's wrong? You seem... upset? No, more shaken than anything." Hide said softly, and the half-ghoul stiffened. Of course Hide would notice something, of course, sweet, perceptive Hide, but he couldn't know, ever. Especially not with Tsukiyama creeping around.

"Nothing. How was class today?" Kaneki tried, but Hide's eyebrows lowered.

"No, no, you're not changing the subject. Something happened." Hide persisted, and Kaneki felt like the walls were closing in. This was it, Hide would find out, and leave him, because who would want someone like him? Kaneki was fine, a bit shy, and reserved, but Shiro had become the embodiment of everything he hated about himself. His insecurity, his weakness, his sorrow, all bundled up in music and leather, his open heart right on his sleeve. And people said he was the secretive one, but it was really Kaneki who was the one hiding. Kaneki pulled his hand back from Hide's. It was shaking.

"Kaneki, I-" Hide looked and sounded shocked, and worst of all, hurt, but Kaneki couldn't. He couldn't, he needed out, he needed to be alone, to write this out on paper and give it music so that it wouldn't be a part of him anymore. Just as he got up to leave- was there an earthquake or was he really shaking that badly?- Hide spoke. And his voice, quiet and restrained, felt heavy and broken.

"Is it me? Or... or us? Because, if someone is, like, harassing you, I can... or, if you really need, we can take a break? Anything, anything you want, Kaneki. Just as long as you're okay."

He wasn't okay. He was far from okay. He felt like he was shattering apart, unraveling, in the middle of a coffee shop, and he wanted to reassure Hide, but he needed to escape, he could feel the eyes on him-

Hide watched with tear filled eyes as Kaneki staggered out of the coffee shop, his grey eyes wide and blank. He wanted to help Kaneki, he was so beyond worried right now, but he didn't know what to do. Helplessness washed over him, and he bolted up out of his seat as the waitress sat down his coffee in front of him.

"Excuse me, but do you know when Touka-chan's shift starts?" He asked desperately, and she gaped at his wet cheeks, probably wondering what could have happened in the seven or eight minutes she'd been gone. He did too.

"U-um, in about an hour or so. Sir. Um." She stammered, clutching her tray to her chest. He nodded and returned to his seat. If anyone could help him help Kaneki, it would be Touka. But would she be willing? He knew that Kaneki was keeping something from him, a something that Touka might be privy to. And he didn't want to pry, but he didn't want to lose Kaneki either. Not so soon after really managing to get him. What had it been, three weeks? And he already screwed things up? The next hour was spent in Hide's mind, struggling to fit misshaped puzzle pieces together, while he blamed himself for this whole fiasco.

"What the hell are you doing?" Hide heard a voice hiss at him, and the next moment, a fist was curled in the collar of his shirt. Like a rag doll, he was dragged out the back entrance and into the alleyway behind the café. Touka shoved him against the brick wall opposite the door, and his back sparked with pain.

"Explain to me why Kaneki called me in tears to tell me that he was alone, in his apartment, having a fucking panic attack!" She nearly screamed at him, and he was suddenly thankful he had the support of the wall behind him. She was terrifying, and livid, fists clenched, shoulders tense.

"I-I-" he started, but she silenced Hide by holding a hand up.

"Listen, despite how close you think you two are, you don't push into his private life, got it? And, God forbid, if he ends up hurt, either physically or mentally, I swear I will kill you." She spat. Hide, unable to do much else, nodded quickly. Did that mean he and Kaneki couldn't be a thing? But... he... he loved...

"Good. Now, go over to his apartment, apologize, and then get out. Get out of his space, get out of his business, and get out of his life." Turning, she stalked back inside and slammed the door behind her. God damn, he hoped Kaneki never got on her bad side. Hide figured she was probably right, though. He should apologize, but he would never leave Kaneki unless the man himself told him to. Regaining his somewhat shot nerves, he walked the second nature path to what had become sort of his second home. Because home was where the heart was, and...

And he was in love with Kaneki Ken. "No use denying it now, buddy," Hide thought. Sure, they hadn't known each other for very long, but it felt like they'd been friends for years, and Hide had always been extremely adamant about his passions. If he loved something, he pursued it wholeheartedly, especially if that something was a cute, dark-haired ghoul who liked horrible books and big sweaters.

It wasn't long until he reached the door of Kaneki's apartment, and he didn't even knock. Would Kaneki have opened it? Was he still... upset-mad-scared? The lights were off, and the TV was on Hide's favorite show. Either Kaneki expected him to come over, or he had fallen asleep while the channel was on something else. Ah, his boyfriend was curled up on the couch under a blanket, the second one, then. As much as he knew Kaneki loved his beauty rest, he needed to apologize and find out where they stood. His poor heart couldn't stand all of this stress, the worry. But most of all, he needed to make sure Kaneki was alright.

Hide gently prodded Kaneki's shoulder, crouching down by the couch so that their faces were level. His eyes slowly opened, blinked once, then widened.

"H-Hide..." He whispered, and the blonde tried for a reassuring smile.

"Hey, man. Sorry for prying, or whatever made you uncomfortable, really. I'll respect you, and your boundaries, no matter what." Hide whispered back, fingers twitching at his sides. He wanted to brush Kaneki's bangs back from his face, touch him, but he still didn't know how the man felt.

"No... no, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made a scene. Or called Touka." He croaked, and oh boy, he sounded like he'd been crying for days on end. The thought made Hide's heart clench, and he shook his head.

"Don't put the weight of the world on your shoulders, Kaneki. Not everything is your fault, your responsibility. And I'll understand completely if you need some time to... be by yourself, I know I can be a bit overwhelming-" Kaneki cut him off with a kiss. Hide breathed an internal sigh of relief.

"Hide, Hide, I can't tell you everything, at least, not yet, but.." Kaneki's voice was shaking, but it was also firm, absolute. "But rabbits can die of loneliness, Hide!" He chastised, and Hide laughed so loud that he drowned out the pounding in his ears from Kaneki's kiss and forgiveness.

Bonus: Uta, Yomo, and Banjou

Uta watched the young ghoul like a hawk. He came by every few days, picking up this and that, a guitar pick, sheet music. What he had said a few weeks ago though, what he had learned, stuck with him. The kid was starting a band. How interesting.

"Hey, Yomo." He called as the kid slipped behind the shelf of CDs. Who even used CDs anymore? The white haired ghoul was opposite the glass counter, restocking magazines. What the fuck. Who read magazines? How much useless crap did they buy and attempt to sell to nonexistent business?

"What do you want, Uta? Because I want you to maybe actually work?" Yomo quipped, and oh, screw what he was going to say, his friend was losing this fight.

"Okay, one, it's not my fault you ruined our reputation and we had to open a shitty music store, and two, it's not my fault we have no customers. I am the cashier. And as soon as that kid comes over here, I'll do my job." Uta snapped, letting his kakugan show. He usually frightened off any people that came in with his piercings and unusual demeanor, but he didn't feel right unless he displayed his true nature.

"You know it wasn't either of our faults that we failed to take off. A two person band with a creepy vibe would never have been popular anywhere else but where or when we started. And, since we have no business, I see no reason as to why you can't come and help me out here." Yomo replied, straightening the last row of magazines. His voice was always level, something that got on Uta's nerves. It was like living with a robot.

"Well maybe-" Uta started, but something was tentatively put on the counter in front of him.

"Excuse me, but, ah, I would like..." The kid from before stood in front of him, gaping openly at his eyes. And then he remembered.

"Hey, is it true that you're starting a band?" Uta said staring him down as he rang up his stuff. The kid blinked a couple of times, and flushed. Oh wow, this was fun. He nodded jerkily, and Uta glanced to Yomo over his shoulder. Hehe.

"Go for it, I'm sure you'll do great." Uta bagged his merchandise, and Yomo rolled his eyes.

"Don't listen to him, take your time and figure out what you really want." He said, placing a now-empty cardboard box on the counter. "You're, what, in high school? Not even old enough to drink, let alone make the adult decisions that handling press, tours, gigs, requires." The bell over the door rang as Uta handed the kid his bags, and he glanced over to find, like, their only other regular.

"Hey, Banjou, you bust another drum?" Uta snickered, and the man's eyebrows twitched.

"That was one time." He snipped, and walked up to the counter. The kid looked frightened out of his mind. Banjou was at least twice his size, and he hurriedly grabbed his bag to move it out of the way. Banjou set down four pieces of wood on the counter.

"You broke your drumsticks, holy hell-" Uta choked out a laugh. He even heard Yomo try to hide his with a cough. "Oh, and thanks for coming, kid- ah, good luck with that band of yours."

"Band?" Banjou whipped around, nearly knocking the smaller ghoul beside him down. "You're part of a band?"

"Starting one, actually." Yomo said, taking the useless sticks and chucking them in the trash bin.

"Can I be in it? Please, I'm really good at playing the drums, I've been on 'em since I was 10!"

"U-um, well, we don't actually h-have a drummer, so maybe..."

"Oh, come on. He's only a kid, leave him alone." Yomo sighed. "Listen, you both go home, you think about your life, and then you decide if you want to risk it. I'll have your drumsticks tomorrow, hopefully a bit sturdier."

And Banjou did come back the next day, only to tell Uta and Yomo that he had worked it out with Kaneki- the kid- and that they would find a way to keep their identities a secret so that the younger members could still go through with school. Banjou would act as the official adult, though their bassist was the acting manager. But they wanted the pair's help.

"You have experience, and I'm working with a bunch of kids!" Banjou pleaded.

"And that's our problem? I warned you..." Yomo said flatly, handing him his drumsticks. Uta smiled behind his hand. This was so very captivating. Kaneki, huh?

"We'll help you, of course."