It was Christmas time at Freddy Fazbear's, and throughout the pizzeria there were Christmas decorations everywhere. Even the animatronics themselves were dressed for the season. Against their will. It had been Lizzy's idea for them to be dressed up, and the Manager accepted it with no moment of hesitation. It had been a fairly wonderful idea in his opinion.
Not so much for the animatronics.
Freddy didn't exactly mind being dressed up as Santa. In his mind, it gave him a very valid excuse to continue his drinking regardless of Chica's attempts to sober him up. He wasn't fond of the beard though since it itched like hell. Plus the red of the Santa suit and hat felt a bit TOO bright for his taste.
Chica was rather annoyed with having to wear antlers on top of her head and a glowing Rudolf nose over her beak. The nose felt uncomfortable and was too close to her eyes.
Bonnie was perhaps the happiest of the band members. He just had to wear a red jumper (or sweater as the Americans call it, though this author doesn't see how calling an article of clothing after a bodily fluid sounds appealing. But given that jumper would probably make most people think of the actual action of jumping, it was probably unfair to judge) with a smiling snowman on front along with white snowflakes.
Foxy was left in his Cove alone. Not even a decoration hung over the curtains of his domain, much to his depression. It's usually why he cried there during the holiday season, hoping to get sympathy.
This only worked with Bonnie, and maybe BB and on occasion. No one else gave two shits.
Speaking of BB, he was dressed as an elf in greed and red, with pointy shoes and hat that all had jingling bells on them. Even his balloon was red and green.
The Marionette was dressed in a similar manor, only he wore a green Santa hat.
And it is with the Marionette that this story begins. In the kitchen, baking cookies. He was humming 'I Can't Decide' by Scissor Sisters. Most would consider this a bit of a grim song to be humming given the season and his cookie making, but quite frankly the Marionette's intentions weren't as jolly as one would have expected.
"Marionette?" The puppet looked away from his mixing bowel to the doors to see Chica come in. Chica looked a bit surprised, having come inside to make hot chocolate for everyone in the pizzeria, including herself. Because robots can drink and eat, and it will not damage their circuits. Because inside each of them is a literal black hole that only absorbs foods and drinks, and acts as a stomach of sorts. Why their puke was oil was anyone's guess, but who wanted to solve that mystery? "What are you doing?"
"Making Christmas cookies of course," the Marionette responded casually, returning focus to the mixing bowel. "It is the season, isn't it?"
"Yes, but you don't usually cook," Chica pointed out as she began to go and make the hot chocolate. "Why now?" The Marionette gave a low, eerie chuckle, and already Chica mentally prepared himself for the worst.
"It's a bit of a funny story really. Originally, I had intended to make cookies for my lovely Lizbeth as a Christmas present. All with simple ingredients. The dough, chocolate, a hint of vanilla, an aphrodisiac I convinced a worker to buy for me-."
"You what?!"
"I'm sure Lizbeth would have loved them," the Marionette continued, unaware (or ignoring) the look of shock and/or disgust on Chica's face. "I even put some mistletoe in her office. But then… Sweeney-damn Phil went and got her a present. Some music CD's or something." The Marionette scoffed, clearly annoyed. "My gift was better, but Lizbeth loved his for some reason!
"To say I was upset is an understatement. But I think I know what to do to win my darling Lizbeth's affections."
"And… What is that?" Chica asked, wondering what the Marionette had in store for Lizzy.
The Marionette turned his head to look back at Chica. Even with the smile on his mask, the chicken could somehow tell that he was indeed smiling behind that mask. Why, with that Christmas themed apron on the Marionette (red with green trimmings, and a holly pattern), he seemed to almost ooze Christmas cheer.
"I need to cut Phil's penis off and put it on like a strap-on."
Chica choked on some air she had inhaled upon hearing the Marionette's words. Surely he was joking.
Right?
"Ex-excuse me?!" Chica asked in disbelief. "Why on earth would you… Would you do THAT for?!"
"I've thought it all through," the Marionette responded with a simple shrug of his shoulders. "Lizbeth is a human, and the only thing separating us is the genital part."
"That and you're not human!"
"And Phil is the only other thing separating me from my love. So, I decided to kill two birds with one stone. I cut off Phil's penis, with the possible plus of causing him to bleed of blood loss, and I can give Lizbeth sex. There would be no way this could fail!" The Marionette gave a mad giggle as he went back to his mixing.
"Marionette, what the hell is wrong with you?!" Chica demanded. "You'll just make Lizzy more upset! And if that's your new plan to get Lizzy, why bother making cookies now?!"
"It's part of the plan," the Marionette explained joyfully. "I snuck around Mr. Davidson's office to look for these blue pills I saw him take before going to the bathroom, muttering about stress relief. I think they're sleeping pills. So I crushed some pills together into a fine dust and mixed it into this batter. I'm hoping it will make Phil fall asleep once he eats these during his shift, giving me plenty of time to come into his office and commence with the second phase of this operation."
"This is all twisted!"
"So are good creepypasta characters, but they still have fangirls who don't seem to realise they would murder them in real life."
"I…" Chica frowned, confused and unaware of the minor breaking of the fourth wall. "Fangirls? What are you-?"
"You know nothing of true love, so go away," the Marionette sniffed in a snooty manner. "I have much work to do!"
Chica sighed. There was no point arguing. The Marionette would probably fail anyway like in all of his previous attempts to woo Lizzy. The last attempt, which had involved paying a man to bring a panda baby to the pizzeria, as a gift for Lizzy, had ended up with the baby panda nearly eating the Marionette's leg in the mistake that it was bamboo. While the proper authorities did take him away to be brought back to his home country, the panda didn't face charges for nearly eating the Marionette since he was too cute. It was a bitter memory for the Marionette, which led him to disliking pandas.
Especially baby ones. Those cute faced fuckers.
Phil walked into Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, smiling brightly and cheerful. He wasn't quite sure why, but he felt very happy and in a splendid mood. He was also fairly oblivious that the Marionette was sticking his head out of the bathroom hallway and hissing at him as he made his way to the security office. It was Monday, so Lizzy didn't have to work here last night so he was happy to know that she was still alive.
Walking into his office, he was surprised to see a plate on his desk filled with Christmas cookies shaped like Christmas trees. There was a note on the plate as well.
'MERRY HOLIDAYS! PRICK!'
Of course, the last word was crossed out.
Phil looked at the plate in surprise. This was the first time anything like this ever happened to him. Usually, he just got a tape or two once a year that had the voice of his father recorded on them. Last time, he got the tape that recorded his dad's death.
Odd how he now got a plate of cookies. But they looked tasty, so why not take a bite.
Phil picked up a cookie and took a generous bite from it. It wasn't half bad really. There was a taste of something he couldn't quite put his finger on, but it wasn't really that important.
The Marionette meanwhile had retreated to his box of lonely bachelor-ness-dom. He giggled to himself manically. He was certain that Phil was eating his cookies, and as soon as those mystery pills kicked in, he would finish the entire plan. Lizzy would be with him, and see Phil as nothing but a dick-less loser! All thanks to those blue pills he found in Mr. Davidson's office!
What did the label say they were called again? Vi… Vi… Vi, something or other?
Phil regretted eating those cookies about fifteen minutes after the pizzeria opened at nine. Oh, how he regretted them. He was fairly certain they were the reason for the sudden… tightness, of his pants. Specifically around the crotch area.
Once he noticed it, the poor man couldn't bring himself to look at the security cameras. It just felt wrong, disturbing and just plain disgusting with the kids here. But he couldn't just sit in that office, and not try to make it go away. Jacking off in a room where he had access to cameras didn't feel any more comfortable, plus if anyone decided to come by, it would not look good.
The possibility of getting up and going to the men's room came to mind. Doing so by going through the dining room to get to the bathroom hall, or trying to be sneakier and sneaking out through the vent and going through the game room to the bathroom hall. But they both risked him being caught by adults who would be quick to make accusations, and going through the vent would possibly make it look worse.
He was just going to have to rest his hat on his lap to try and hide it for the time being. Then maybe-.
"Hey, Phil."
Phil yelped and quickly brought his hat to cover his lap and looked to his left. Surprisingly, Lizzy stood there. Looking mildly bored but raising an eyebrow.
"You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"S-sorry, I… What are you doing here? You don't usually come unless you're doing stuff to try and advance the storyline or work," Phil asked. Lizzy looked a bit confused by Phil's choice of words, but brushed it off.
"I know, but I only realised now that I left the drag I forced Freddy to wear while belly dancing and giving Foxy a lap dance. I kinda need to return it to the school I borrowed it from."
"Oh, are they expecting it back really soon."
"Technically, no," Lizzy responded with a shrug. "Just broke in there before my shift and took what I needed. I figured I may as well dump it back."
Phil was rather surprised by this. He knew Lizzy wasn't quite sane, but to speak so casually about breaking-and-entering and stealing…
"Anyway, I left the thing stuffed into one of the drawers," Lizzy continued as she walked into the office towards Phil's desk. I just need to get it."
"Oh, er… Sure." Phil pushed his feet against the ground to move the swivel chair away from the desk, expecting Lizzy to just open the drawer. But instead she looked at him with a small frown.
"Hey, you okay? You're usually more relaxed."
"I'm fine! Really! Just… I just have… uh…" Phil was trying to think fast. If Lizzy found out his problem, she might think he was a pervert and-
Lizzy just took his hat. And her eyes widened.
Phil went red and pulled his knees up to his chin, and pretty much acting like the boy who took the role of a girl of a yaoi couple. What was he going to do, what was-?
SLAM!
Phil snapped out of his thoughts and noticed Lizzy had shut the right door and was now shutting the left.
"Li-Lizzy?"
Lizzy looked back to Phil, throwing a small yet playful smirk as she took her short dirty blonde hair out of its ponytail.
"You must be pretty bored if you've had to think of dirty stuff to pass the time~."
"I… What?" Phil asked dumbly.
"I'm just going to go and say that you are pretty cute, and we get on together. So why not~? No one has to know, and we could work together~." Lizzy hummed as she walked over to Phil, licking her lips, hands reaching up to grab Phil's knees gently to move them down, but Phil immediately did it himself, a dumbfounded expression still on his face, but not exactly complaining about any of this. Especially when Lizzy got onto his lap.
"So, shall we Phil~? We are under that mistletoe up there~. I'm game, but if you're not, feel free to say so."
Phil wanted to thank whoever it was that made those cookies.
Meanwhile, the Marionette snuck out of his box. Now was the time. The time to keep Phil from ever becoming a major threat to the puppet wooing Lizzy. He had the knife in hand and the empty mayonnaise jar to put the castrated penis inside. Once back in his box, he'll commence the final stages of this operation. All the Marionette had to do was crawl through the vent, get into the office, castrate the fucker and get out.
The Marionette crawled through the vent. The knife handle was against the black of the puppet's mouth like a magnet on a fridge. Marionette's pride and ego swelling to such sizes it could only be beaten by winners of beauty pageants.
And he would know. He had entered a clown/pierrot themed pageant last year, and lost to Harley Quinn.
… What was that faint moaning sound? And that groaning?
The Marionette's curiousity rose and he crawled further into the vent, wanting to see the sources of these sounds. Was it an effect of the vi-something-or-other pill? Maybe. What else could be causing it?
Reaching the end of the vent, the Marionette peered into the office to see what Phil was doing.
…
If someone could have seen the Marionette's expression, they would have sworn they heard glass break.
"Ah, Phil…."
"Liz… God…"
The Marionette was frozen. He couldn't force himself to move. He wondered if he was in hell as he saw Lizzy on Phil's lap and… Oh, SWEENEY, the Marionette wished he could not remember this horrible, horrible memory.
Horrible for him.
Not so much for the fucking couple who had not noticed the heartbroken Marionette, even as he began to sob as he crawled backwards away from the exit.
The Marionette barely held it together as he made his few appearances during the day. Apart from his appearance to the children, he had spent most of the day curled up in a ball until all of the people left. Especially Phil the Prick.
"Oh, Sweeney, why?"
The Marionette was sitting at one of the tables that night, three empty ice-cream tubs (strawberry, vanilla and mint) in front of him, and one half full tub of chocolate ice-cream that the Marionette was currently drowning his sorrows in. As usual, the perpetual smile of his mask was there. Except with some ice-cream stain of the previously mentioned flavours smeared around mouth and cheeks.
He would sometimes forget his mask was there and lift it up enough to put ice-cream inside him. In a way, he was essentially lifting his face off in order to eat.
"Hmp! You had this coming you know," Chica scolded as she walked by.
"SHUT UP!" the Marionette wailed. "CAN'T YOU SEE MY HEART IS STILL BEING BROKEN INTO PIECES AFTER WHAT I WITNESSED?!"
"Don't give up hope lad!" The Marionette looked to his other side to see Foxy. Who was surprisingly happy looking, as well as covered in a string of Christmas lights. "I didn't expect anything at all this year! Ever since I bit that poor man, ALL those years ago and turned him into a vegetable."
"He's still alive, actually."
"Turned him into a vegetable," Foxy groaned loudly in an overly exaggerated and dramatic manner. "I thought I would never get to share in the Christmas joy at all! But Freddy came into me Cove and dressed me up! In lights no less! Wanting me to join all of ye in the festive spirit!"
Meanwhile…
"Bon-Bonnie…" Freddy slurred, as he looked into the currently empty Pirate's Cove. The Marionette and Foxy were facing away from said Cove and at the other side of the room so they didn't notice Freddy at said Cove, or Bonnie nervously approaching his leader.
"Y-yes, sir?"
"Where's that Christmas tree?" Freddy asked, pointing into the cove. "That skinny red tree that had its branches down its sides, very bare looking and overall very ugly. Also, he smelled like shit."
"Um…"
"I just put the lights on him, so he couldn't have gone far." Freddy hiccupped. "Do you… Do you think maybe the tree was magic?"
Back to the Marionette and Foxy…
"Maybe you're right," the Marionette mused, rubbing his chin in thought. "I can still win my darling back!"
"That's the spir-!"
"Get back here, tree-bastard!" Foxy was tackled to the ground by Freddy. "Get back to your spot! You're the Christmas tree, and I can't drink eggnog unless you're up!" Freddy sniffed, unknowingly covering the struggling Foxy's mouth. "You're always trying to ruin my Christmas by wandering off somewhere. Who's the whore you're cheating on us with! Is it the burger place down the road? Do you think you provide better decoration there?!"
"I got something from Lizzy!" BB chirped as he came into the room, holding an envelope. "I came into Lizzy's office, and she gave me this! Saying it was for all of us!"
While a few of the animatronics had looked up in some curiosity, the Marionette had snatched the envelope and practically ripped it to shreds to get to the contents. The Marionette felt hopeful. Even if it was meant for all the animatronics, surely he may be able to get at least a private message or something from Lizzy.
A card was inside the envelope.
Well, it was a folded sheet of paper. With a hand giving the middle finger drawn in black marker on front, with the middle finger topped with a little Santa hat and holly drawn on each corner of the card, as well as small circles which was probably meant to be snow.
The inside of the card wasn't much better. There was a message inside.
'I won't wish you a "Merry Christmas", but have a shitty New Year!'
I figured I may as well do a Christmas chapter while I still had the chance, so why not this? I think it was a bit better than the previous chapter.
Anyway, happy holidays to everyone, have a good New Year and be safe and all that.
Hugs for all!