No matter what fandom you're a part of, no matter who you like or dislike, no matter what your views on certain topics are, it can generally be acknowledged that in fandoms, there are things that the majority of fans can agree on.

Rule 34? Most internet veterans have accepted long ago that anyone can make anyone sexualised. Or anything.

Dolores Umbridge? Bitch, we all know Voldemort's more worthy or redemption than she ever will. At least we can somewhat pity him being orphaned from birth, while the world pities the woman's vagina who Dolores crawled out of.

Wikipedia? No sensible person uses that as a reference point for college work let alone an online argument. Starting point for research, maybe depending on what it is. But no reference.

It is also agreed, that no matter what the fandom is, such as 'Five Nights at Freddy's', they will come eventually. Maybe not the moment their name is added to sights like Fanfiction, and made not within weeks.

But eventually, they come.

They always do.

BANG!

It was night time when the doors were kicked open, and Freddy, Chica and Bonnie looked to them from the stage to see a rather… Unique looking person, to put it kindly.

She looked was a little under average height. Nothing amazing about that. What was amazing was that her long platinum blonde hair (that looked like the hair of a goddess compared to Lizzy's above shoulder length, messy dirty blonde hair) went down to her ankles. Not braided or even put into a ponytail. It was just let loose. Free to get caught in mud or door or act as a trap for insect of all shapes and sizes. There weren't even split ends! The girl possibly had great patience since it would take ages to brush it. Even more if she brushed her hair a hundred times.

Then there was her eyes. The irises were made up of various colours. Now, on a colour wheel, colours merge to the next very naturally. A good example being yellow to orange to red. That naturalness didn't exist with this girl, oh no. Instead, red merged with green and blue with orange.

As was noted before, she was average height. Thinner than most people usually were though. In fact, it was scientifically fascinating that none of this girl's ribs were showing with how thin she was. Even more interesting was how oddly shaped other parts of her body were. For instance, her butt looked like someone stuck two soccer balls back there. She could just sit on her butt like a short stool if she wanted to. As for her… breasts.

… They were truly an abomination on what breasts were meant for in the first place.

They were… large. And that was an understatement. The top of them actually brushed against her chin while the bottom was covering the top of her belly.

And yet, they weren't saggy, had moles or hair. They should have sagged down and kept the girl from moving, but it was like she was wearing some sort of invisible suspender designed to keep massive tits from hitting the ground.

This girl looked to the animatronics and smiled brightly. Seriously, light was shining off of her teeth.

"Hey, there!" she squealed happily, waving her hand enthusiastically. "I'm the new night guard!"

"… Pardon?" Chica was rather confused since Lizzy was still working there.

"The new night guard since the last one quit," she said happily, hands on her birth giving hips. "I'm Stephanie Mariah Rubysworth!"

"That's… A very formal name for a person working a minimum paying job."

"My parents just really loved me and actually changed their surname just to fit me! After all, Stephanie Mariah Johnson just sounds ridiculous."

"… Right."

"But Lizzy's still here," Bonnie spoke up, sounding confused. "In fact, she just got back from her St. Patrick's Day celebration with Phil."

Meanwhile in the security office, a very drunk Lizzy with slightly smeared shamrocks painted on her cheeks and wearing a novelty green hat with 'HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!' written on it. A more sober Phil (wearing a green shirt that said 'Kiss Me, I'm Irish!') sat in the swivel chair as Lizzy gave her interpretation on how the celebration of St. Patrick's Day came to be.

"And… And, so," Lizzy slurred. "This is what happened. This-this guy, he grabbed a bunch of snakes, and flung them off Ireland. Just-just flung 'em into the water. Because he's a saint and they have super powers and stuff. Because everyone was racist against snakes, just because one told this one girl to eat an apple that messed the world up. And everyone's like, 'Yeah! Get them snake bastards out of here! We don't want their kind, those scaly fucks!' And after that, t-to celebrate, they had a week long drink fest. All day and night. And to honour that, the Irish and everyone who loves alcohol, drink a lot while wearing green. Because if everyone wears green, the snakes will come but think, 'Oh, these snakes are already here. Let's go elsewhere,' and go away until they fall into water and drown like the snakes before them. And later on instead of a weeklong celebration of drinking, they changed it to a daylong one because too many people were puking and getting alcohol poisoning."

"… I don't think that's right," said Phil, frowning a bit in confusion. "I really think you might have skewed some things a little. I really think you're drunk and need to lay down for a bit."

"I'm perfectly fine," Lizzy scoffed before grinning at Phil, and moved to sit on his lap. "Now you're shirt says to kiss you, so I'm going to do that. Then we're going to fuck. Okay? I'll even let you top this time."

"Liz, you're drunk."

"Drunk on the love from you, baby cakes~."

Back with the animatronics, the girl just scoffed and shook her head.

"No, you murdered her like you did every single other night guard here up to now. Now things will be different because I'll be here for my dear wonderful Foxy!"

At the mention of his name, Foxy stuck his head from the curtains. He had a hopeful expression on his face as he looked at Stephanie.

"You think I'm wonderful?"

"Of course I do," she cooed sweetly. "The moment I saw your picture on 'Animatronics Most Wanted', I felt love at first sight!" Foxy grinned but then frowned.

"'Animatronics Most Wanted'?"

"They said how you bit that one guy's head or something," Stephanie said in an uncaring tone. It was just a person with no relation to her who had a severe head injury. Caring for such plebs was SO last season. "But I love you still!"

"Oh boy!" Foxy squealed in delight. Someone loved him! And didn't care about the Bite! This was the happiest day of his life!

"But Lizzy isn't dead," Chica said firmly, hands on her chicken hips.

"That's true," Freddy agreed. "After what happened, we've just come to accept that just won't happen."

It was finally done. It took a lot of weeks, effort, strength and the ability not to break down crying with so many insults hurled their way. But they finally got Lizzy inside a suit. Freddy was looking smug as he looked at the now closed door of Parts and Services, while Chica just looked relieved. Bonnie was happy that Freddy wasn't going to try and take his anger out on him anymore by beating him with rolled up pizza dough, and was hopping around like a bunny rabbit in joy. Foxy was sitting at a table playing poker with BB, and had so far lost his hook and gold tooth to the happy BB.

Marionette was the only one to show negative emotions. He was clawing at the closed door as he cried.

"She was going to be my wife!" he wept, continuing to claw. "I was going to make her into a pretty dolly, and then we would have sex in the security office, and live happily ever after!" He wailed some more while Freddy rolled his eyes.

"Shut the hell up, puppet man. This is a time to celebrate! Like so." Freddy opened his chest to take out a bottle of champagne. He bit the top off and began to effortlessly down the drink, even when it first sprayed all over him.

"Here's to finally killing Lizzy the Bitch!" Freddy said after drinking half the bottle and raising it in the air. "Tonight, we drink!"

"But you're always drinking," Bonnie pointed out, but still looking happy.

"And you'll be drinking your oil-blood if you get smart with me again."

BANG!

Everyone looked at Parts and Service. The song 'Iron Man' could be heard as a Freddy suit Lizzy had been put into stood there. The hands of the suit reached up to remove the head, to reveal the un-scarred and un-damaged face of Lizzy. And she looked mega-pissed.

"WHAT?!" Freddy dropped his bottle in shock, eyes wide open. Everyone was shocked, and perhaps a little bit scared. Well, all except for the Marionette. He just grabbed onto Lizzy's Freddy leg and placed kisses against.

"You're back! I knew you would," the Marionette gushed before Lizzy kicked the leg up. Sending the animatronic leg off along with the Marionette, and crashing into the wall. She kicked the other leg off, which hit Foxy right in the face.

"H-how?" Freddy mumbled as he looked at Lizzy in shock. "Y-you're supposed to be dead! I took out your heart!" Freddy held up said heart which was still beating surprisingly. The Marionette suddenly appeared behind him and took the heart with glee.

"I'll take this~," he purred and rubbed the heart against his cheek happily. Lizzy didn't say a word, but she removed the metal arms and calmly dropped them on the floor, before removing the torso around her. Surprisingly, apart from the hole in her chest where her heart should have been, it looked like she had not even been inside the suit.

She calmly walked over to the Marionette and snatched her heart out of his hands before punching him in the face, sending him flying into the wall again. Without blinking, Lizzy just shoved her heart into the hole and patted it down.

"What the heck?" Chica mumbled, looking confused as Freddy just stared with his mouth open.

"What the fuck…? How the-?!"

"I'm Lizzy fucking Parker," Lizzy interrupted Freddy. "You can't take me down. Now…" Lizzy walked over to where the arms of the suit had been dropped and picked one up. "Get the hell over here, Delores Bearfuck. With this arm, you're going to be fisting yourself."

"Oh shit!" Freddy eyes widened in horror and he began to run away as Lizzy calmly walked after him with a glare that would freeze the Devil's balls off.

"What a horrible day that was," Freddy murmured to himself in a raspy tone. "The horror…"

"Oh, poor baby," Stephanie gushed as she ran over to Freddy and kissed his cheek. "But don't worry, I love you very much."

"WHAT?!" Foxy's mouth was wide open, and his eye patch flew up in shock. "But… But I thought you were in love with me?!"

"No, I said it was Freddy," Stephanie told him, ignoring the shocked look on Chica's face. "I've been in love with him ever since I came here as a little girl at the age of five!"

"That's just ridiculous!" Chica exclaimed, the look of shock not fading from her face. "No kid that old is going to understand the concept of that kind of love! Maybe a crush if they were a little older, but why on Freddy?!"

"He's my boo-boo, of course, you yellow skank," Stephanie explained happily while Freddy looked quite proud of himself. He was pretty sure that Chica was jealous and knowing he had another girl here, he was quite hopeful for a catfight.

If that happened, he would need to get mud for them. Or tomato sauce. Maybe some of his alcohol stash would work.

"Excuse me?!"

"Ladies, ladies," Freddy chuckled, raising his hands in a 'calm down' motion. "There's no need to fight right now. Wait a couple hours, and then get the catfight started."

"There there, Bonnie-boo." Freddy and Chica sharply looked in the direction of Bonnie where Stephanie was currently holding petting Bonnie's head. He looked very uncomfortable with it (especially with his face so close to her massive boobs), but Stephanie either didn't notice or didn't care.

"What the… I thought it was me you loved?!" Freddy exclaimed before glaring at Bonnie who whimpered. The damn bunny kept stealing his potential women!

"I thought you were in love with Freddy?" Chica asked weakly. This day was just going in a weird direction. Stephanie looked at her in confusion.

"Freddy? Why would I like that prick? It's Bonnie all the way!"

"Er…"

"You bastard!" Freddy shoved Stephanie away from Bonnie and glared down at the terrified rabbit who backed away from Freddy.

"I-I'm sorry!"

"It's bad enough you're trying to steal Chica, but another girl?!"

"I-I…"

"What are those glowing things underneath your rack?" Foxy suddenly asked, pointing his hook in the direction of under Stephanie's breast. Indeed, under each potato sack of a boob, there was something glowing with fluttering wings under them. They actually resembled fairies like Navi and Tatl.

"Oh, they're the titty pixies," Stephanie explained with a beaming smile.

"The… The 'titty pixies'?" Chica repeated, in a tone that showed her disbelief in just saying the word.

"Yeah. They're the magical fairies that hold up boobies like mine. How else do you explain boobie physics in Japanese anime?"

"They're called titty pixies?" Chica was still trying to wrap her head around that concept.

"Well, they also go by the names 'boobie fairies' and 'breast sprites'," Stephanie explained in a casual tone.

Just then, the Marionette came into the dining room appearing depressed. He had tried to crash in on Lizzy and Phil, but then he saw what they were doing and fell into a depression that could only be cured by pigging out on ice cream. He was unaware of their uninvited guest, and as such he was taken by surprise when she just suddenly glomped him.

"Mari! My love!" Stephanie squealed.

"Is she in love with everyone?" Bonnie asked in confusion.

"Maybe," Chica muttered before looking to Foxy's stage. He was curled up into fetal position and crying as he clutched to a portrait picture of himself and Stephanie. 'Forever and Always' was writing on the picture above their heads.

"Foxy?"

"She broke my heart!" Foxy wailed. "My delicate heart, and that wench crushed it!"

"… YOU ONLY KNEW HER FOR A FEW MINUTES!"

"SHE SAID SHE LOVED ME!"

"Who the hell are you?" Marionette asked Stephanie after shoving her off of him.

"I'm Stephanie! You're lover!" she explained quite proudly. The Marionette stared at her in silence before breaking into laughter.

"EHEHEHEH! That's a good joke. But my actual love is currently fucking Phil the Prick instead of me, so you can just go away now."

"Don't be silly," Stephanie laughed. "It's just the animatronics and me here. No one else."

Marionette stared at the girl, uncertain about her state of mind. He looked to the others and asked,

"Is she okay?"

"She' delusional and keeps changing who she's in love with and how," Chica replied dryly. Just then, Stephanie kissed the tip of her beak.

"No one will stand in the way of our forbidden love~."

Chica's beak was gaping, uncertain on how to respond. Freddy had a similar expression as well before he grinned and gave a thumbs up. He didn't really mind another girl stealing his woman-to-be. As long as he got to watch now and then, of course.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Lizzy just came out of the west hallway. The paint on her cheeks just green smears now, and while she had her pants on now, her top half was only covered by a bra. She was also more sober now than compared to earlier. A dishelved looking Phil soon followed, an adorkable grin on his face before it felt as her saw Stephanie and her massive hooters.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Stephanie Mariah Rubysworth," Stephanie told her. She didn't look quite as happy to see Lizzy and Phil as she did the other animatronics. "And who are you two?"

"I'm Lizzy and that's Phil," Lizzy told the stranger, gesturing to herself and Phil. "I'm the night guard and he's the day guard." Stephanie chuckled and shook her head.

"I think you're mistaken. I'M, the new night guard." Lizzy looked at Stephanie's clothes and raised a brow.

"Then… What are you wearing?"

"My uniform of course!"

"I didn't realise we were a part-time strip club," Lizzy said dryly as she looked at what Stephanie wore. While the uniform colours were correct, the style wasn't. Instead of a button up purple t-shirt with the gold badge over the heart, it was a purple corset top with the badge nestled in between her breasts. Instead of simple black pants, she wore a black mini-skirt that only covered half her big butt, revealing pink panties underneath.

"How is that supposed to be the uniform?" Lizzy went on. "Given what this job is supposed to entail, those clothes are highly impractical. Hell, if parents knew you were wearing that they would try to hang you let alone make a complaint."

"And you and that boy doing it in the security office isn't?" Stephanie sneered. Phil glanced away awkwardly while Lizzy narrowed her eyes.

"There's a difference. We can hide it quite well, and everyone working in this pizzeria is my bitch except for Phil since he's my boyfriend. If that's actually you're uniform, you can't exactly hide it, can you?"

"At least I'm not a slut!" Stephanie spat. Lizzy stared at her, willing to ignore how the insult just seemed random.

"I'm a slut? How?" asked Lizzy. "Because I do a pleasurable act with my boyfriend whom I care very much about? Because I'm confident and comfortable with my sexuality? Because I'm not some naïve girl who thinks a hymen is way up there? Because I lost my virginity in high school? Because I enjoy sex like most human beings who have an interest in sex? Tell me, how is it that any of those things make me a slut? Men do that and there's no trouble, so why can't I, you misogynist cow?"

"What did you call me?!" Stephanie shrieked.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess you can't hear smart. Let's try Sign Language, shall we?" Lizzy raised her hands with the intention of singing everything she had just said only for Stephanie to shriek once more.

"I'll kill you!" she yelled before leaping towards Lizzy. Lizzy ducked out of the way and pulled Phil with her. Stephanie missed them and her breasts hit the floor, bouncing her back onto her feet. Only for her to fall onto her back and big butt from the force of the bounce.

Unfortunately, the titty pixies got crushed due to the full weight of boobie meat on top of them. And the weight and position she was currently in also kept Stephanie from getting back up.

"Foxy!" wailed Stephanie, looking towards the animatronic fox with watery eyes. "Please, help!"

"He won't if he knows what's good for him," Chica said with her eyes on Foxy just as he was about to say something. Foxy was smart away to pretend he didn't hear the young woman asking for his aid.

"Freddy?"

"Will you let me watch you and Chica?"

"Freddy!"

"I mean no!" Freddy said quickly as Chica glared at him.

"Bonnie?"

"Pl-please don't include me in this," Bonnie whimpered.

"Mari?"

"Lizbeth is the only woman for me!" Marionette declared and tried to hug onto Lizzy's side before she shoved him away from her.

"No one's going to help you bitch," Lizzy told her calmly as she walked over and grabbed the woman's waist before lifting her over her head like she was just holding an empty wicker basket.

"How are you carrying her?" asked Bonnie, looking on in awe.

"Because I can," was all Lizzy said as she walked towards the entrance doors despite Stephanie's desperate struggling of her arms and legs to get out of her current predicament. But struggling was useless as Lizzy kicked the door open and threw her outside with ease.

"Bimbo," Lizzy muttered as she shut the door. "A delusional and crazy one at that."

"That's putting it lightly," Chica muttered before a bang came to the door.

"LET ME IN!" Stephanie screamed from outside. "I HAVE TO BE WITH MY LOVE, BB!"

"Dude, what the fuck?!" Lizzy yelled in shock. "He's a kid animatronic!"

"HE BECOMES A HUMAN TEENAGER!"

"I CALL BULLSHIT!"

"LET ME IN SO I CAN BE WITH MY TRUE LOVES!"

Then, using her boobs as a battering ram, Stephanie managed to barge through the doors much to everyone's shock.

"YOU CAN'T KEEP ME AWAY!" she cackled wildly. "Now, lover! Get your metal ass over here so I can grope it while I hump you!"

"Um… Wh-which one of us are you talking to?" asked Bonnie, looking scared as he tried to hide behind Phil and Lizzy.

"… I can't remember," Stephanie admitted, frowning in confusion. "… I guess to keep on the safe side, it will just have to be all of you. We'll just have to have an orgy."

"HELL NO!" Lizzy yelled before looking to Phil. "Phil! Get the axe! We have to kill it!"

"The Manager took it away. He said it was too violent."

"Crap!"

"I got it!" said Freddy before he grabbed Foxy and threw him at Stephanie like a javelin. Foxy was too shocked by this to shut his mouth, and Stephanie was too slow (or stupid) to move away in time.

As such, it ended with someone's teeth in someone's head.

"God damn it," Mr. Davidson moaned when he came in the next day to see the corpse on the floor. A corpse with a big bite on their head, and an even bigger ass and rack. He looked around and saw Foxy standing on his stage. Trembling with blood still clinging to his teeth. "Foxy, what did you do?"

"Freddy made me do it!" Foxy immediately said, leaving no space for anything else to be said after the Manager asked the question. "He threw me at her and I bit her head!"

"Freddy…"

"She wanted to molest us!"

Mr. Davidson looked at the animatronic bear and shook his head like a disappointed parent.

"You need to cut down on your drinking," he sighed before taking out some coupons from his coat for Clarence the Cleaner. Each one saying, 'Order Six Times, Seventh Time FREE!'. He took out his phone and dialled a number. After a couple rings, the other end answered.

"Hello? It's me. … Yeah, again. … No, Foxy bit this weird looking girl this time. … Yeah, I'll have the usual team. … Okay, thanks." Mr. Davidson hung up and looked to one of his workers.

"Alex, get the coffee on. The usual team's coming."

Meant to have this out yesterday, but the library was closed. So Happy St. Patrick's Day from this Irish person! :D