A/N: I 'splained some things in the last chapter, like how Dani managed to bitch-slap Hidan and Savvy managed to stab him (because we know, for how pretty she is, she kinda sucks at swinging swords around). Plus the whole "Deidara thinks Dani's a girl thing". Like, he's a ninja. He should have seen Dani's Adam's apple (or lack thereof). I had been planning on explaining that for a while, so I just need you guys to know that I'm not stupid. Sometimes. And the whole translation jutsu thing? Made by Yamanaka (cause the first thing I think of when it comes to coding and the mind is "Inoichi"), perfected by Uchiha ('cause the Sharingan is already over powered).

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~Danica's P.O.V~

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I sighed as I pulled on some clothes, not really bothering with style.

A grey, long sleeve hooded shirt with navy blue sleeves (to hide my constantly clenching fists).

Dark blue jeans (because I don't ever wear black jeans).

Running shoes (so I can GTFO if I find my house on fire).

I carefully unplugged the modem on the computer (no internet for the ninjas, thankyouverymuch!) and turned on the TV, flipping to the news for any other bit I might have missed on the missing hiker case. I pulled out the batteries on the remote, just in case another channel had Naruto re-runs while we were away (the buttons on the TV were already broken thanks to an -ahem- incident with some... stuffed pentapi. We do not speak of the dark times.), and I holed these things in a box of electrical wires. Nobody would suspect a thing. Hidden in plain sight, so to speak.

"Savvy?" I asked from my place on the table. "Are you sure they won't burn down the house in seven hours?"

"Yes. Well, maybe," Savvy answered. Then she paused in her carrying of the dishes to the sink. "Actually, I lied. No. I'm not sure at all. In fact, I'll put money on the chance that they will find a way to break something by the time we get home."

"Where are you going?" asked a voice. We turned simultaneously to see Kakuzu standing in the doorway.

Probably woke up at the word "money" I thought dryly.

"School. I told Leader... -sama and Konan yesterday after dinner," Savvy said, stumbling a bit on the unfamiliar honorific.

He nodded. "I'll be sure to inform the others."

I grabbed my bag and headed out the door, following Savvy to her Jeep. She dropped me off at the bus stop and left for uni while I shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. After a bit, I gave in to the temptation and plugged in my headphones.

Well Mother, what the war did to my legs and to my tongue / You should've raised a baby girl, / I should've been a better son. / If you could coddle the infection, / They can amputate at once. / You should've been , / I could have been a better son!

I calmed myself down a bit and breathed. Nothing insanely bad could possibly happen.

…

Dammit, I jinxed it.

Upon reaching the school, I charged off the bus, determined to reach my locker before anything bad could happen.

Sadly, though, I left my headphones on, allowing MCR to flow through my head. And, I do mean sadly, because had I not, I would've noticed a single, black crow with beady red eyes following me through the windows.

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(I should really decide on what my line breaks should look like...)

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I shuffled through the halls filled with school colors (because Friday is Spirit Day! Go Pines Cardinal Points! And, sadly, yes. Our mascot is a giant compass.).

While shuffling, I recalled a haiku my friend had mentally composed whilst in this situation himself.

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People in the halls

Walk at a leisurely pace.

Hurry the fuck up.

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I wanted so desperately to grab the people who were holding us up and chuck them out a window. Even more so when I realized the cause of my morning's misery was a couple.

Now, I have nothing really against couples, but seriously? They were holding hands and strolling like they were in some freaking park. Not only that, they were taking up the entire hall by holding hands at arm's length, like the other had the plague. I would have thought they did, had the two not been shooting moony eyes at each other.

I hated having my first class at the opposite end of the hall from my locker.

I grinned when a more outspoken girl commented, "Aw, you two are so cute together!" in a faux girly-girl voice. "But honestly? Move, 'cause my teacher's gonna have my ass if I'm late!"

The couple was then pushed to the side of the hall while the rest of the students charged into their classes. I was among them and soon dashed into my art class, sliding through the door like a pro baseball player a split second before the bell rang.

Sam and Sammy gave me fist bumps, while Samantha gave me a grin.

Yes.

My three friends at school were all Sams.

First is Samantha. We call her Samantha, and not Sam or Sammy. Mostly because then everything would get confusing. She's in Kendo with me, but she's not into anime.

Then there is Sammy. He's... Well, he's normal. Heck, all of the Sams are normal. Nobody is a total anime-loving weirdo in my group except for me, now that I think about it. Sammy and Samantha are twins. I'm not sure what exactly their parents were thinking, naming both of them Sam, but they also have a little sister in middle school named Ella. I'm sure if they had put more thought into it, they wouldn't have named their kids Sams 'n Ella.

Sam is the glue of the group. Well, I shouldn't really say that, since when the Sams are together, their personalities sorta... merge into one big, monotonous blob of loud.

They are, by far, some of the more normal kids in Pines High. They have sleep overs, Instagrams, iPhones, and chorus. Even the boys. The only thing odd is the fact that they all knew each other via internet before realizing they all had the same name.

I'm sort of an outsider. I declined invitations to parties, shopping trips at the mall, and generally being a normal teenager.

I suppose this is one of the supporting reasons why I talk to my swords when I'm alone in the house... Huh.

I took my seat with its back facing the window, and we free-drew the whole class (yay, Friday!), trying as hard as I could to push my awaiting guests at home to the back of my mind.

…

...

…

Needless to say, it didn't work. All of my pencil marks looked like piercings, plants, swirls, clouds. I gave up and chose to occupy my time drawing Konan. When asked, I just said it was a portrait of a fictional character, which was partially true.

I carefully shaded everything, careful of the charcoal I had chosen as my medium, and soon it was time to go.

I tucked my drawing of real-life Konan into my portfolio and turned to stick it in the bin when- wait.

Did that crow...?

I did a double take, and sure enough, right outside the window, was a red eyed crow. Quickly as I could, I grabbed a sharpie out of the tin can in the middle of the table and drew the design of the crow's eye, and, seeing no paper left, scribbled it on the back of my hand.

It was a pinwheel-type design, black on red.

Mangekyou.

Those little crooks, I thought venomously. Spying on me? Weirdos. Where is my lawyer? This is a total invasion of privacy!

I scowled at my hand and grabbed all my stuff, leaving the class last.

"Oh! Danica! Don't forget to take your portfolio home, it's Friday!" my grey-haired teacher said, stuffing the manila folder into my arms.

"Oh. Oh! Uh, thanks, Miss T!" I smiled at her. Dammit, I had to take my portfolio, and its drawing of Konan home. I had been wanting to avoid bringing it to the house in hopes that I wouldn't have to show my sword designs plus random sketches of people to the criminals.

The rest of the day flew by, the only exciting thing happening during lunch when I saw the crow again. Since I had seen it in first block, it had been careful not to be spotted. Me seeing it meant it had wanted to be seen.

"Hello weird Itachi-esque crow," I greeted warily when it landed on my bench outside the school.

I carefully nudged a bit of bread crust from my sandwich towards it.

Closer... closer... I thought, my eyebrows scrunched together in concentration.

Then- caw!

"Fu-" I cussed when the crow bit me, drawing blood. It flew off and landed on a branch of the tree behind me.

"Caw!" it mocked me.

"Dammit, Itachi-san! Why does your crow hate me?" I glared at the demon bird.

The bird just eyeballed me.

"Freaky thing," I frowned, staring right back at it. "I used to like birds. And then I met you," I informed it.

"Caw!"

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed, finishing off my lunch. "Go spout 'Nevermore' or something."

And with that, I left, dropping the remainder of my food in the trash bin.

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(Seriously, I need to decide on a fancy squiggle or some shit to put in between scenes)

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Savvy picked me up from school, saying she had left early.

"We weren't doing anything and I decided to do something nice for you. I'm not terrified at all of what I might see when we get home. Yup, I'm sure Pein's got it under control," she rambled, drumming her fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. "Did we throw out the fireworks?" she asked.

"No."

Savvy floored it.

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(La~!)

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Savvy swerved into the space, parking backwards like she was in Tokyo Drift.

We charged out, Savanna only pausing to lock the car behind us. She fiddled with the lock muttering, "C'mon, c'mon, work with me here!" The lock finally clicked. "Yes!"

I pushed her out of the way and slammed my shoulder into the door, opening it up to see...

Damn.

The place was fine.

"All that worry for nothing?" I asked.

Pein came in the main room. "I do believe I can keep my own organization under control."

"Oh. Right. Hehe, yeah, sorry for... doubting ya, I guess?" I said sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head.

Pein nodded stoically and turned back around, probably to go to the

FWOOSH!

The kitchen caught on fire. Smoke began billowing out a wall socket. A flaming tire rolled towards us and fell over, spinning around a bit until it settled.

"Dammit, Tobi, un! I told you not to do that!" Deidara cried, standing up from his place hiding behind the half wall.

"Tobi is sorry, senpai!" Tobi cried, running into the room.

Zetsu morphed out of the floor to save the cacti in the kitchen from the fire.

Pein pinched the bridge of his nose.

Hidan came running in, shirtless and cussing. He tipped over the vase Kakuzu had saved last night, and, Kakuzu, being unable to save it once more, glared harshly at him. The miser charged at him, upset at his trashing the house and its valuables.

Konan sighed from her spot on the couch, flipping through the first three volumes of Fruits Basket I had found last night, untranslated.

Sasori had, at some point, come in the room and managed to insult Tobi, Deidara, and Deidara's art in one sentence. This sparked up a three way argument for Tobi (who insisted he was still a "good boy"), Deidara (who just went on an art rant), and Sasori (who smirked and waited patiently for an opportunity to use unfailingly accurate logic against Deidara's idiotic spiel).

Zetsu was now ignoring all the others and was in the middle of a heart-to-heart with the "traumatized"cacti that I recalled Savvy naming El Jefe. Or Gefe. Hefe? I wasn't sure, sometimes she just called it Jeff.

The fire, having died down a bit, soon came back with a vengeance.

Kisame started up a water bomb-type jutsu.

"Oh my goodness, wait, wait!" Savvy yelled, jumping in front of him and flailing her arms.

"I'm trying to put the fire out," Kisame told her, confused.

"It's an electrical fire, Kisame! You can't put water on it or it'll start up again," she explained quickly, fretting a bit.

"Oh." The land faring shark had the decency to look sheepish.

Me? I was freaking out.

"Oh my God, this is just like tumblr in real life!" I shouted. "You think everything is fine and dandy and sane, but then you log on and suddenly nothing makes sense anymore!"

Savvy had frozen in shock once noticing the severity of the fire before turning around, closing the door behind her, locking it, unlocking it, and opening it again.

I just stared at her.

"Damn," she sighed. "I was hoping they'd be gone if I did that."

"Freaking heck," I sighed. I got out a fire extinguisher and sprayed down the flaming tire, the kitchen, Tobi's left foot, and the flaming box of fire works that had already been set off (Something about this bothered me. Had I set off those fireworks earlier this year? I didn't think I did. Did I?).

And where was Itachi through all this?

Then I noticed something else.

"Who the fuck ate the rest of my brownies?"

[Following these events, I realized I was dressed for fleeing but completely forgot my GTFO shoes were on, and, instead instead of GTFOing, had stood there like an idiot for a few seconds. And following those events, I smacked the palm of my hand against my forehead.]

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Fun Fact: There is a total of 24 minutes of just staring in the Twilight Saga. Holy shit, dude, I thought there'd be more than that.

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Question Time!: Favorite color. Hyuckhyuckhyuck I'm so unoriginal.

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Last Chappie's Question: [Inset generic bear pun here]. Seriously. BEAR PUNS.

"I HOPE YOU'RE BEAR-Y PRE-BEARED FOR THIS UN-BEAR-ABLE BEAR OF A BATTLE!"

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Bonus Question!: Just... Every capital letter. Take every letter at the beginning of each sentence and smash 'em together. Figure it out yourself, ducklings.