Chapter 12: Who'd Have Known
Hikaru flips his cell open and calls for a car to come get us. In spite of what's happened, I can't help but think, 'Yes! Ditching school!'
When the car shows up, we get in and I lean my head on Hikaru's shoulder. I'm happy he doesn't seem to be too mad about what just happened. Honestly, it was one time, I'll never do it again. If that's what happens... Never again.
Hikaru starts fiddling with my hair and his eyes are unfocused. I want to stare at him and take his face and kiss him, kiss him and tell him how much I love him. But I can't. No matter how much I love him, he's my brother.
This might not be so bad, you know. As long as I've got him, I can live. I'll live for him. I remember the pain in his eyes when he discovered me. He loves me.
Just not as I love him.
A sharp tug on my hair breaks me out of my thoughts. "Ow!" I sit up, rubbing my head. "Oh, sorry Kaoru." His hands fall into his lap and stay there.
When we get home, I tell him I have to take a shower. I grab a towel and bathmat, then step into the bathroom. I can hear Hikaru outside the door, moving things around in our room. I turn on the shower and step under the warm water.
Ah, so nice. I close my eyes and rub some soap on myself. Hikaru's still out there, messing with our room. Then I hear music start up.
This is my favourite song. I hear Hikaru humming along and I join in, singing. The notes are too high for me to reach, so I just sing it in a lower key.
It's five o'clock in the morning,
Conversation got boring.
You said you're going to bed soon,
So I snuck off to your bedroom,
And I thought I'd just wait there,
Until I heard you come up the stairs,
And I pretended I was sleeping,
I was hoping you would creep in... With me.
I take some shampoo and scrub my hair, then wash all the suds out. I know singing in the shower is a bit stupid, but honestly I do it all the time.
Put your arm around my shoulder,
And it was if the room got colder,
And we moved closer in together,
And started talking 'bout the weather,
You said tomorrow would be fun,
And we could watch A Place In The Sun,
I didn't know where this was going... Till you kissed me.
I can hear Hikaru singing along too. I smile, thinking we make a pretty good duet.
Are you mine, are you mine?
'Cause I stay here all the time,
Watching telly, drinking wine...
Who'd have known, who'd have known,
When you flash up on my phone,
I no longer feel alone.
No longer feel alone...
I turn off the shower and dry myself off, then wrap the towel around my waist and leave the bathroom.
Some of the steam escapes with me as I walk into our bedroom. Hikaru has hooked up his iPod to a speaker and is blasting the music. He's sitting on our bed, singing along and eating chocolate.
I plop down beside him and grab a piece. "Hey!" He says. I pop it into my mouth. "I'm starving." I say through the chocolate. He shoves me. "Get off, you're getting our duvet wet."
"Fine." I sit on the floor instead.
He sits down beside me. The music plays.
I haven't left you for days now,
And I'm becoming amazed how,
You're quite affectionate in public,
In fact your friend said it made her feel sick.
And even though it's moving forward,
There's just the right amount of awkward,
And today you accidentally... Called me baby.
"I know why you... Well, you've been so upset lately." Hikaru says, eating another piece of chocolate.
I catch my breath. "You do?"
He nods. "You were mad because of me. You were mad because I didn't do this."
And then he leans forward and kisses me.
Are you mine, are you mine?
'Cause I stay here all the time,
Watching telly drinking wine...
Who'd have known, who'd have known,
When you flash up on my phone,
I no longer feel alone...
It's everything I thought it would be, soft and lovely, heaven and hell at the same time. I want to hold onto this moment forever, live here and now, and love him forever.
Let's just stay, let's just stay,
I wanna lie in bed all day,
We'll be laughing all the way...
He breaks away, and I'm left breathless. "Hikaru..." I breathe. He smiles softly. "Sorry-" He starts. I cut him off. "Don't apologize! What you just did was... The best thing all year. Or a few years. Or my entire life."
Told your friends, they all know,
We exist but we're taking it slow,
Let's just see how it go.
Let's see how it go...
I kiss him again and this time neither of us breaks away. 'Well well well.' I think happily. 'Who'd have known?'