The rain trickled down her windshield as she drove past rows and rows of gravestones. She mad e alight turn and found the large tree marked on the map, Emily's grave would be nearby. Frankie took a deep breath and pulled a book from her purse. iSlaughterhouse Five/I by Kurt Vonnegut. It was Emily's absolute favorite book and she had lent it to Frankie when they were teens. The book which used to be in pristine condition was now tattered, torn and held together by tape from years of reading. Frankie always kept the book near to her and since Emily's death she had spent the past four years analyzing every dog eared page and highlighted sentence searching desperately for some sign of forgiveness. She held on to the book as if it were her security blanket and in many ways it was. Something so sentimental that had belonged to her sister, something that had meant so much and now it was all she had left. Frankie opened the book to chapter five and whispered, "Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt." before she finally grabbed her umbrella and made her way out of the car.
She traipsed through the rain and mud until she found the headstone she had been looking for. iEmily Prentiss October 12, 1970 - March 7, 2011. Fidelity, Integrity, Bravery./i Frankie immediately broke into tears as she collapsed against the head stone. Those three words, their meaning given by the FBI, the very office that Emily had sworn to serve and that bureau had let her down. Frankie felt sick thinking about how her sister died in the line of duty while serving her country. The team that was supposed to protect her and still let Emily slip through their grasp. Frankie had spent countless hours trying to gather more information on her sister's death but it seemed like whatever happened had not even made a single news paper or head line. She found it odd that an FBI agent was killed in the line of duty and there was no record of it anywhere but she also knew Emily had worked for a special team and perhaps what had happened was so terrible they couldn't report it in civilian news outlets. The thought alone made her stomach flip and she doubled over, preparing to lose her stomach.
"Easy there!" a voice said from behind as a hand reached out to stable her.
Frankie caught her balance on the headstone and sunk into a heap in the mud. Her book fell into a puddle nearby and she grabbed it up sharply but it was too late, the damage had been done. Once she got a look at her handwritten notes running in the rain drenched margins she lost what little composure she had left. She began sobbing into her hands as the stranger positioned an umbrella over her head and stood idly by.
"Ma'am, are you okay?" the woman asked.
Frankie managed to catch her breath and looked up for the first time into the sparkling blue eyes of a petite blonde woman. The woman froze when they locked eyes as her mouth fell open, silently mouthing words Frankie couldn't make out.
"Em...Emily?" the blonde dropped her umbrella as tears streamed down her face and she wrapped her arms around Frankie, squeezing the breath out of the brunette. "Emily! What are you doing here!?"
Frankie froze under the embrace of the woman. She cried at the mention of her sister's name and suddenly realized how unnerving it would be to visit Emily's grave and find Frankie there instead. Especially since she was sure none of Emily's friends knew Emily had a sister, let a lone a twin. She was frozen in fear. Here was someone who knew Emily, who had come to visit her grave and suddenly found herself face to face with whom she thought was a dead woman. Frankie thought the blonde was handling the thought of a ghost rather well, considering.
"I'm sorry," Frankie mouthed without being able to actually make words. She pulled away from the woman and brushed the tears from her eyes, "I'm sorry I'm not..."
The woman looked into Frankie's eyes and her demeanor changed completely. She went rigid and backed away a few steps before reaching to her side and upholstering a gun which Frankie had not been aware of until that moment.
"Who the fuck are you?" the woman asked as she drew her weapon on Frankie.
Frankie put her hands in the air and tried to find her voice, "I'm her sister! I'm her sister! Please don't shoot me!"
The blonde eased up and lowered her weapon, "Sister?"
"Sister!"
"Sister?" the blonde asked again as if she had been blindsided.
"Sister," Frankie confirmed as she stood at attention, eyes still locked on the gun.
"Fucking hell!" the blond exclaimed as she finally holstered her weapon. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just, you look ... you look exactly like her."
"I'm her twin sister," Frankie explained. "Or I mean, I was..."
The blonde looked perplexed at the correction but was obviously overcome with the idea there was a second Emily standing in front of her. "I'm so sorry, I just never knew," the blonde offered. "I'm Jennifer Jareau, JJ for short."
"Francesca Dart, Frankie if you want. Only my mother calls my Francesca."
The blonde chuckled, "That sounds like the Ambassador alright."
"You know my mother?"
"Absolutely. I'm sorry, I'm part of the BAU I used to work with Emily before..." JJ trailed off as she fished a tissue from her pocket and handed it to Frankie. Frankie realized she had begun crying again and accepted the tissue gratefully. The blonde smiled, studying the woman in front of her. "You really are the spitting image of her"
"Guilty, I guess," Frankie forced herself to ease up realizing this was the first person she had openly talked about Emily with in twenty years.
"God, does she know you're here?"
Frankie blinked in confusion. She was hesitant around anyone who had only moments before drawn a gun on her but now the blonde seemed to be asking if Frankie's deceased sister was aware of her presence at her grave site. Frankie decided JJ may not be entirely mentally stable as she took a few steps backwards.
"I don't really believe in spirits," Frankie admitted slowly.
JJ looked at her for a moment, trying to comprehend the brunette's response. She raised an eyebrow, opened her mouth, shut it and pursed her lips as she decided how to proceed.
"Frankie, you don't know, do you?" JJ finally realized.
Frankie shrugged, "Know what?"
JJ was suddenly very aware that Frankie had no idea the truth about Emily Prentiss. JJ was flooded by memories as she decided how to tell Frankie the sensitive information. "Maybe you should come over?" JJ offered.
Frankie looked suspicious of the possibly mentally unstable blonde but something about the hurt in JJ's eyes and the way she was suddenly crying made Frankie agree. JJ exchanged her phone number and address and asked Frankie to come over in an hour, so give her enough time to get home and clean up a little. Frankie agreed and headed towards her hotel to change out of her drenched clothes.
Once she had checked in and found her room Frankie collapsed on the bed in a heap of emotion. She curled into a ball and wept into the pillows until she had nothing more to give. She was exhausted but there was something about Jennifer Jareau that intrigued her. There was something about the way she looked at Frankie that said she had known Emily well in life and Frankie had come to DC for answers. She wasn't quite sure what to expect when she arrived at JJ's house but she was willing to accept whatever information JJ could provide about her sister's death. She mustered up her strength, changed into dry clothes and looked up directions to JJ's brownstone.
The drive was thirty minutes with traffic and the rain didn't help her overall mood. Frankie made it without getting lost, which she was proud of. She was usually rubbish with directions even with the GPS on her phone. She felt completely vulnerable as she parked in the driveway. She tucked her book in her purse, took a deep breath and gave herself an encouraging nod in the rear view mirror. She exited the vehicle, opened her umbrella and made her way to the front door, taking note of the children's toys scattered throughout the small front yard.
Frankie rang the door bell and waited, shortly after JJ opened the door with a smile on her face and welcomed Frankie in. She took her umbrella and coat and hung them in the hall closet. Frankie slipped her boots off and left them next to a tiny pair of shoes in the foyer.
"My son, Henry," JJ smiled as she pointed at the shoes. "He's out with his father today. Can I get you something to drink? Wine?"
"Tea, if you have it," Frankie asked hopefully.
"Tea it is."
Frankie settled herself on the couch and looked around the cozy living room. Toys littered the floor as family portraits decorated the walls. She smiled, wondering what it must be like to be part of such a loving family. Henry seemed to be about seven by the photos and Frankie noted JJ's husband seemed genuine and handsome. The picturesque family. She couldn't help but be a little jealous. She was still unsure of why JJ had asked her over but her nerves were at an all time high as she wrapped her hands tightly around the tea mug JJ offered.
"You said I didn't know," Frankie reminded.
"Look, Frankie, I'm not sure how to tell you this," JJ started as she sat down on the couch. JJ took a deep breath to calm her own nerves before finally getting out what she had been holding back, "Emily, well, Emily isn't dead."
Frankie stiffened as her mouth fell open in disbelief. She looked at JJ questioningly as she searched for words. JJ simply rested ehr hand on Frankie's thigh and continued.
"I'm sorry you didn't know. I didn't even know she had a sister," JJ hadn't meant harm by the statement but she saw the sting in Frankie's eyes. Truth be told, JJ was rather hurt at the notion as well. She had always thought she knew Emily better than anyone but now she was wondering just how much Emily had held back from her over the years. "Emily had gotten involved with a very powerful, very dangerous man who abducted her. He nearly killed her but the doctors were able to stabilize her and she pulled through." JJ teared up thinking about that night in the hospital, the night she had been the one to tell the team Emily had never made it off the table. The night she had taken on the burden of being the secret keeper. The night everything had changed.
"She's alive?" Frankie finally managed to whisper through her tears.
"Yes, she's alive. She had to fake her death in order to flush out the criminal behind her abduction. She held up in Paris under an assumed identity until it was safe to return, it took us six months to track him down but we got the bastard," JJ continued.
"And Emily... has been alive this whole time?" Frankie repeated the question to be sure she wasn't imagining the conversation.
"Yes, Frankie. Emily is alive and well. She works for Interpol in London," JJ finished as she gently rubbed Frankie's thigh.
Frankie paused for a moment before she burst into a roar of laughter. JJ was taken aback by the sudden exuberance and pull her hand back as if to recoil from a hot flame. She let Frankie laugh until she cried and soon she found she was laughing at the absurdity as well. They laughed until tears fell down their cheeks and they were out of breath.
"Do you know, I haven't talked to my sister in nearly twenty years and for the past four years I thought she was dead. I found out through coincidence and I spent months trying to find more information on what happened. I have spent the past four year, four fucking years, in hell because I thought my sister was dead and I never said goodbye. And she's just been off in London?" Frankie's face went flat and she was no longer laughing. JJ could see how angry she was. "Four fucking years and she couldn't even call me? 'Hey Frankie, just in case you hear news I'm dead I'm not. I'm actually fine so don't worry about it.' Nothing? Are you fucking kidding me?! And YOU people? With all of your technology at the FBI you couldn't do the decent thing and tell immediate family that Emily wasn't actually dead? Do you have ANY idea how much hell I've been through?"
JJ pursed her lips thinking of something to say. She had been the one taxed with helping Emily to escape into her new life in Paris after Ian Doyle had almost taken her life. JJ had been the one to have to lie to her team every day when they talked about Emily. She had spent week after week holding Spencer on her couch while he sobbed into her chest over the loss of his friend, over never having a chance to say goodbye. She had watched the FBI place Emily's photograph on a wall of fallen heroes. She had gone to sleep every night wishing so desperately she could tell her friends the truth. Faking Emily's death had taken such a major toll on JJ but she thought after Emily came home and the dust settled she would be able to move on, yet here she was. In the cross hairs yet again for a decision she had made four years before.
"Frankie..."
"No, no it's fine. I'm sure it's all a big fucking joke to you FBI types. Faking someone's death is probably an everyday occurrence for inational security/i or what have you. But the fact of the matter is, Emily has been alive and I have been grieving, alone. I have been alone this whole time and she didn't even have the common courtesy to call me. I don't know why I'm surprised, my own mother didn't even call when she idied/i."
JJ sat up straight realizing there was so much Frankie was unaware of and wondered how it had suddenly become her burden to have to divulge such secrets to the brunette. JJ wondered why Emily had never even mentioned she had a sister but decided that was none of her business for now. She wanted to be as helpful as possible but there were so many things to discuss she wasn't sure where to begin.
"I can tell you why the Ambassador didn't call, Frankie," JJ began. "I was actually on assignment overseas but our unit chief, Agent Hotchner, had called me as soon as Emily went missing. I rushed back to DC as fast as I could to help find her. The night of the incident Emily was really touch and go. She had been stabbed through the abdomen along with various other injuries. When Derek, Agent Morgan, got to her in the warehouse she was begging him to let her go. She was ready to die and if we had not have made it when we did she would have. Seeing as I was the closest to Emily I volunteered to call Elizabeth and fill her in on what had happened. I called her from the ambulance but it went to voice mail. I begged her to call me back as soon as possible. We made it to the hospital and Emily was rushed into surgery. I tried your mother again but again it went to voice mail. Emily lost a lot of blood and she coded on the table twice before they managed to stabilize her. It was Hotchner's decision to go along with the storyline that she had died, as a way to protect her until we could track Doyle down. I was the one who was taxed with telling the team and in turn, your mother. When she called me back hours had passed. You see, Emily was always getting herself hurt in the field and Elizabeth thought everything would be fine and chose not to return my calls immediately. Unfortunately, that night was different. I had to be the one to tell a mother her daughter was dead. I was sworn to secrecy for Emily's safety and I had to deliver the news to make it believable to the rest of the team. Elizabeth lost it. She had a complete break down and ended up in the hospital after she refused to eat for a week. I had to live with that burden. She missed the funeral because she was too weak to get out of bed. It wasn't until Emily was stable enough to be transported to Paris that I was allowed to tell the Ambassador the truth, but the damage had already been done. To this day she won't speak to me, not that I blame her. But you see? She didn't contact you because she couldn't."
"So all of this is your fault?" Frankie asked dryly.
JJ wiped tears away and shrugged, "We had to protect Emily. It was the only way."
"Yeah, right," Frankie sighed. She looked down at her tea for a moment before she realized the obvious question, "If you know all of this, then what were you doing at Emily's grave today?"
JJ blushed and averted her eyes. She had been waiting for this seemingly innocent question to come up all afternoon. She wasn't sure how much she wanted to share seeing as the truth was painful and complicated. It had started long before she visited Emily's grave that afternoon. It had begun the night JJ accompanied Emily to Paris once she was stable. JJ still wasn't sure what had changed between the two but there had been a certain spark which ignited on that long flight across the Atlantic. Something had changed between the two women that there were no words for. Whatever it had been was still alive when they landed in Paris and it was that spark that lead to everything to come. JJ had never cheated on Will before, had never even fathomed she would be capable of infidelity yet there she was in the throes of passion with Emily Prentiss. It started out casual, just a fling, Emily left Paris with her assumed identity and JJ returned to Afghanistan. Yet months passed and JJ craved Emily's touch, her kiss, her warmth. They kept in touch while Emily was under cover but nothing could compare to that night in Paris.
Once Emily was finally able to return to DC things became complicated. JJ began finding it harder to be around the brunette without wanting more. Eventually the thirst overwhelmed them, drowning the two in desire, and they fell into a regular affair. An extra night "on the job" here and there allowed them to be together under Will's nose. He never suspected a thing. It was nearly too easy or so JJ thought. She convinced herself her affair with Emily was nothing more than a fling and would never lead to more, because JJ knew i more /i meant things would get messy and she wasn't entirely ready to deal with any aftermath.
Things went well between the two for sometime, nearly a year without anyone the wiser of their charade. Emily had wanted to take their relationship to the next level, she wanted to make it real. She had even been secretly shopping for a home in hopes that JJ would leave Will and be with her. IT was never supposed to be more than sex but love is tricky that way.
Emily had said it first. She broke the rules and she fell in love. When she told JJ how she felt JJ fought ever urge to repeat those same three words back to the brunette but JJ had so much at stake. She had panicked. She told Emily she didn't feel the same though it was a blatant lie. It crushed Emily completely. That was the day of the bank robbery, the hostage situation and the bomb. When the bank blew and JJ was screaming for Will, Emily knew she would never be JJ's first choice. Out of spite she decided, on a whim to take the job in London, to get away and make a clean start. Seeing that Emily had made her choice JJ decided it was finally time to stop leading a double life and she agreed to marry Will. It was a decision made out of anger and it was one she had come to regret over the past years.
The night Emily left was JJ and Will's wedding. The two had barely spoked since JJ had decided to get married but Emily wasn't going to let go so easily. On the night of the wedding she begged JJ to be honest, to be true to herself, to admit she felt the same for Emily as the brunette felt for her. And even in that moment, both women in tears, Emily on her knees, pleading for JJ to tell her to stay, even then JJ chose Will. And Emily left. She left that same night on a red eye to London, never planning on looking back.
Time passed and Emily started to make a name for herself in her new career. As days turned to weeks, into months, and finally years, she seemed to have healed from the chasm JJ had left in her soul. Until the day she received a call form Hotch. JJ had been abducted and they needed Emily's help to rescue her. Just like that Emily was right in the midst of it all again, she dropped everything and took to the first flight to DC. Upon rescuing JJ, the two had shared words which had been long overdue which opened those same old wounds.
"JJ?" Frankie asked, seeing that JJ was clearly somewhere far away.
"Yeah, sorry. I just, I guess I just go there sometimes to clear my head," JJ confessed.
Frankie was well aware JJ was avoiding the question but she decided it wasn't quite her place to pry into the blonde's history with her sister. They each sat in silence lost in their own thoughts for a while, listening to the rain tapping against the windows.
"Frankie?" JJ whispered after a few minutes, "Do you want to talk to her?"
"Talk? To Emily?" Frankie repeated, having not even thought about having the option to simply call her sister up ont he phone and have a conversation. Up until that day she had thought she had missed every chance to ever make amends and now this woman was offering to call up her sister like nothing had ever changed between them. It was as if the past twenty years had never happened and she was eighteen again. It's odd the things people take for granted when they think they will have tomorrow to say the things that really matter.
"I mean, I think we should call her," JJ stated. JJ knew she was the last person Emily would want to talk to but this was far beyond their relationship, this was about Frankie and Frankie deserved to talk to the sister she had spent the last four years grieving. She deserved to hear her sister's voice again. She deserved at least a phone call. After four years of thinking her sister was dead, it was the absolute least JJ could offer.
"Okay." Frankie replied, as she began shaking at the thought that in moments she would be talking to the woman she had only imagined for the better part of two decades. The woman who was all but a ghost to her. "Okay, can we?"