Disclaimer: Doctor Who belongs to the BBC. I do not own anything.

A/N Sorry for the late chapter. RL was just insane.

A huge thanks to Vampiyaa for the lightning quick beta.

Happy Reading!

Chapter Twenty Seven

When Rose awoke, it was because she was thirsty. A low moan escaped her parched throat and even through half-closed eyes, she registered someone moving from her side.

"Doctor?" she managed to mumble, licking her dry lips.

"Open up," he said and it was slightly jarring to her when she heard his relatively unfamiliar voice. But she obeyed nonetheless, feeling relieved when something light and paper-like was placed on her tongue. It dissolved a moment later and Rose felt her thirst quench itself almost immediately. "Better?" he asked, looming over her.

"Yeah," said Rose, relishing the slight citrusy aftertaste left in her mouth. "Orange?" she guessed.

He looked surprised for a moment but nodded. "Yeah, I picked up the usual box just a few months ago," he said.

"I can tell," said Rose, trying to sit up. The Doctor helped her up and arranged the pillows at her back so she could be comfortable. "You tended to eat the better flavours first. All that was left in the end was liquorice." She made a face at that and he beamed so much that it was almost audible.

"I know," he enthused, jumping back onto his side of the bed. "There wasn't exactly time to replenish my supplies with a new box before…"

The good mood dimmed abruptly at the mention of 'before'. Rose swallowed lightly, trying not to think about it just yet. She still wasn't ready to think about the war. "So," she said instead, feeling proud when there was only a small quaver in her voice. "How long was I out?"

The Doctor smiled at her, relief palpable in his eyes. "Not long," he said. "Only about ten hours."

"That's not bad," nodded Rose and then surprised them both by yawning loudly. "Sorry," she chuckled.

The Doctor laughed. "You still need a lot of time to recover fully," he said. "Is there something else you need before you turn in?"

Rose didn't answer for a few moments and looked down at her hands. "Where's my…?" she started to ask but the Doctor pointed towards the tray on her bedside. Rose saw her ring, TARDIS key and Skelton's charm laid out neatly on the tray and nodded gratefully at the Doctor. When she continued to stare silently down at the duvet instead of easing back into sleep, the Doctor looked concerned.

"Rose?" he asked, taking her hand gently. "What's wrong?"

Rose nibbled on her lip nervously. "I don't think I can fall into another healing coma," she said.

"No, I suppose not," said the Doctor. "But you are sleepy. I can tell you are."

She didn't say anything and it took a few more moments for the Doctor to realise what she had implied. He smacked himself sharply with his free hand, which made Rose jump and look at him oddly.

"What was that for?" she asked, torn between amusement and concern.

"Nightmares," he said understandingly. "You are afraid of nightmares."

Rose's eyes looked down at the duvet. "I am more afraid that I won't have them," she said in a small voice. She could practically hear the question in the Doctor's quizzical gaze and she took a deep breath before answering. "Sounds stupid, I know. But it's like this different energy from inside the Time Lock and outside of it. When we created the time fissure to come back, we both felt...lighter. It was easier to laugh, to joke, to smile...even to flirt. But when we went back, the heaviness returned. The anger returned. The pain returned." She looked at the Doctor and saw the understanding in his gaze, which encouraged her to continue. "And yet somehow, the war felt more real than this does right at this very moment. There was...clarity. Everything was very bright. And as odd as it sounds, clean."

"And this looks grey," said the Doctor in a soft voice as if continuing her thought. "Even if you may have felt lighter here, you felt freer when you were in the war. Through the heaviness, through the pain and anger, everything was still vivid. This feels like a dream and the life inside the Time Lock feels more like the truth than anything else."

Rose nodded with tears in her eyes. "I keep wanting to clear the grey," she said. "I am scared that if I dream, I will dream in grey."

The Doctor eased himself down so he was lying down on the bed and pulled along Rose gently so she could do the same. She was a bit reluctant to follow, but she rested her head on the same pillow as the Doctor and met his gaze. "Rose," he murmured, wiping the few tears that had rolled down her cheeks. "After I pressed that button but before I regenerated, I heard their screams. All of them, Daleks and Time Lords, screaming inside my head." He breathed deeply and closed his eyes for a moment before opening them. "Then came the silence. Complete and utter silence." His voice started to shake. "And I wished for the screams to come back. I wished with my dying breath for those screams to come back."

Rose's breath hitched and she placed a hand on his cheek, wishing she could comfort him still. He nuzzled the inside of her wrist lightly before kissing it tenderly. "And I got my wish. The screams came back, Rose," he confessed. "They came to me every time I dared to close my eyes long enough to dream. You were there sometimes when it happened, do you remember? After we met that Dalek in Van Statten's bunker? Or that time when…"

"Yeah," said Rose. "I remember." She stroked his cheek. "Do the screams still come back?"

"Sometimes," he answered honestly, as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close until they were entwined tightly around each other, their legs tangled together. "But when we were together, you kept the screams away. You managed to erase the grey in my world, Rose. Let me do the same for you."

Rose nodded slowly and the lights dimmed at the Doctor's gentle telepathic plea to the TARDIS. Wrapped around each other, the Doctor and Rose fell asleep.

Days passed in a similar fashion as Rose continued to recuperate and heal from the trauma of the war. She still woke up screaming from her nightmares on most nights, but having the Doctor there right next to her, pulling her closer and whispering words of comfort in her ear, helped her immensely. It was slightly odd since Rose knew that she'd had nightmares during the war as well and the Doctor had been there next to her at the time too, but things seemed different now. Perhaps it was because the Doctor in the war had been hurting just as much as her, while now that hurt for him had taken a back seat through passage of time. It was still there, of course, but he had started to heal.

Rose wondered if the same would happen to her. The world still felt grey to her and she was scared that she would never see it as brightly as she could before, but she kept those fears to herself. The Doctor did his best to help her recover, even suggesting a telepathic coma he could induce which would give her a dreamless sleep for once, but Rose declined the offer each time. She knew she had to face her trauma, and knew there would be no sidestepping it.

Her physical stress, on the other hand, had healed quite quickly. She was no longer confined to bed rest, though the Doctor refused to take them out of the vortex just yet. Rose didn't make a fuss and was privately grateful for it. She didn't think she could face the universe just yet. So they spent their days lounging inside the TARDIS, sometimes together but mostly on their own.

It wasn't exactly by choice, but Rose had noticed the slight awkwardness that seemed to fall over them when they weren't discussing her recovery or talking about the war. It was as if the Doctor had no idea what to say to her, and for that matter, even Rose wasn't quite sure what she ought to say. They had been friends, lovers and so much more for so long, yet it was as if they were strangers again. They were both older, hardened by time spent together and apart, and it was like they were yet to find out where they stood with each other.

Rose hadn't told him about seeing River yet. She felt guilty keeping it from him, but the more she read River's diary, the obvious the hurt became hidden under the cheerful words. He had confessed to her that he had turned selfish in this life, but Rose hadn't had any idea just how bad things had gotten until she had read River's diary. She had told River that the Doctor could be cruel towards the ones he loved, but when she had read about him yelling at River to break her wrist to free herself from the Weeping Angel, Rose had felt something akin to doubt when it came to this Doctor. She thought of the incarnations of the Doctor that she had known, all three of them, with almost a palpable sense of guilt and wondered what they would have done in that situation.

She had avoided the Doctor for the rest of the day and had chosen to forgo sleep in favour of swimming laps in the pool until she could barely move. He seemed to register her obvious evasive actions but he didn't push her to talk. Rose continued to read River's diary, nearly weeping when she read how excited she had been to lead the excursion to the Library. The diary ended there, and Rose closed it and put it away carefully in a box she had found in her old bedroom. The box also contained Skelton's charm, which was something she felt she couldn't wear anymore, but was unwilling to part with it just yet. When she came back to their current room, she found the Doctor sitting on the bed. His tweed jacket was gone, his shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows and his bowtie untied around his neck. On his lap was a diary identical to River's and when Rose met his gaze, he smiled a little.

"Thought you'd want to read the other side as well," he said.

Rose moved closer to the bed but didn't climb in. "When did you know?" she asked.

"When you started avoiding me," he said before sighing. "There are a lot of regrets I have when it comes to River and most of them stem from guilt."

"Guilt that you couldn't love her like she loved you?" asked Rose, not harshly as she sat down on the edge of the bed tentatively.

"Among other things," he nodded. "Her entire life was my fault. She wouldn't have had the life she was subjected to, if it hadn't been for me. Amy and Rory would have gotten to raise their child instead of having their baby taken and raised to be an assassin to kill me. Melody Pond would have gotten to live, instead of having to become River Song. And if I had been a better man, I would have been able to make myself love her the way she deserved."

"Do you know what gets me the most having read her diary?" asked Rose. "How much she protected you. And not from enemies or things like that. She protected you from her own pain. She buried her feelings so you wouldn't feel guilty. She suffered because she would rather endure your pain instead of letting you face it. But do you know what the worst part is, Doctor? The worst part is that you let her."

He flinched at her words but nodded. "I know," he said in a tired voice.

"Then why?" asked Rose.

"I don't want to make excuses now," he said. "You know what they say about hindsight."

Rose nodded a little. "Guess you're right," she said, before climbing into bed until she was sitting next to him. "For what it's worth, I am glad I got to meet her. And I'm sorry about everything."

The Doctor smiled tentatively at that before reaching over and cupping her face. Rose nearly stopped breathing, rather aware that this was the most contact they'd had while not in the throes of nightmare since she had come on board. The Doctor's smile turned soft as he brushed his thumb over her cheek and leaned forward to kiss the corner of her mouth with such softness that Rose wasn't certain if he really had kissed her or not. He started to move away but Rose nudged his nose with hers to stop him and the next kiss was just as soft as their lips moved together in what felt a lot like absolution.

That night, they both had nightmares.

In the morning, the Doctor was in the kitchen when Rose walked in, freshly showered...and fully dressed. He looked up in surprise and she shifted a little under his scrutiny. The past few days, she had stuck to casual wear inside the TARDIS, fluffy pyjamas and tank tops and shorts. For the first time since she had come aboard after the war, Rose was dressed in a pair of fitted black trousers, a dark pink peasant blouse, her hair combed and shiny, and smart black boots on her feet that clicked when she walked.

"Are you sure?" the Doctor asked.

"Yes," she said, smiling reassuringly to assuage his concern.

"Okay then," he said. "Breakfast first? I made toast."

Rose glanced at the stack of toast, which was nearly charred to ash, and bit her lip. Two days ago, he had cooked her a full breakfast which had been simply sublime. But even then, the toast had left much to be desired. "How about just a quick supplement?" she suggested instead.

He frowned comically but took a pink coloured square from Rose, murmuring approvingly at the taste of strawberries. Rose popped one into her mouth and then offered him her hand, which the Doctor was quick to take.

"Do we know where we are starting?" asked Rose as the two of them walked out to the console room.

"The TARDIS has done something very useful for us," he said, bounding over to the console and pressing a few buttons in succession. The massive scanner near the doors lit up, showing a wide array of stars. In the upper left corner was an ominously dark shadow, which stayed unmoving and unchanged.

"Is that…?" asked Rose. "That's the Time Lock?"

"Yes," he answered. "But that's not the important part." The view zoomed away from the shadow of the Time Lock to show the different star systems in the vicinity. "It is impossible to pinpoint the range of the area affected but this is a place to start."

"How many systems are there?" asked Rose.

"Fifty eight thousand," he answered. "Quite a low number for such a vast area, but they have plenty of open space."

Rose's eyes went wide. "And how many planets?" she asked.

"Nearly 350,000," he said. "Not all of them inhabited, of course."

"Because of the war?" asked Rose.

"Some of them," he nodded. "Others, however, were not inhabited before. The shockwaves of the Moment terraformed a few of them, prompting the arrival of new life."

Rose's lips quirked up a bit at that. "Life prevails," she murmured to herself.

The Doctor smiled at her for a few moments before jumping into action. "Well?" he asked her. "Where do you want to start?"

Rose stared at the viewing screen for a few moments. "I-I wouldn't even know," she admitted finally.

"This might make it easier," he said, beckoning her to come and look at the smaller monitor near the console. "This is a list of all the inhabited planets."

Rose gave the list a cursory glance before looking at the Doctor. "You already have something in mind, don't you?" she asked shrewdly.

He opened his mouth to deny it but at Rose's smile, he nodded slowly. "Epsilon III," he said.

"Why Epsilon III?" asked Rose, no longer smiling when she saw how pensive he looked.

"Do you remember the day I met you on Karn?" he asked her quietly.

"Yeah," said Rose.

"I had been in a crash. The gunship that I was on, it only had one person on board," he said. "Cass. She refused to come with me, Time Lord that I was. She died, as the ship crashed through the atmosphere on Karn."

"I'm sorry," said Rose.

He took a deep breath before his usual jovial smile appeared on his face. "Cass was from Epsilon III and that seems to be a good place to start," he said, one hand already on the lever.

"Alright," agreed Rose, smiling when he looked at her to make sure it was fine with her. "Coordinates?"

"Already entered," he said and threw the lever up, propelling the TARDIS through the vortex.

Rose had to grab onto the console at the unexpected lurch, but she could barely suppress her smile as the TARDIS moved seamlessly with only the occasional bump in flight. The Doctor was looking at her face more than he was at the console and more than once, Rose'd had to reach over and press a button or pull a lever which he had neglected to do. Each time it happened, his smile just got wider, and by the time they had landed, they were both wearing matching, silly grins.

The TARDIS doors opened onto a warm planet with dull amber soil and a muted, grey sky. The Doctor and Rose walked out slowly, realising that they were in what was essentially a wasteland, with no signs of life around them. Their smiles dimmed as they closed the TARDIS doors behind them and examined their surroundings.

"Barren," said the Doctor, touching his hand to the ground and smelling it. "Nothing has grown here for...I don't know, maybe a few decades."

Rose, who had been examining the sky, looked back at him. "How many suns does it revolve around?" she asked.

"Just one," he said. "It is one of the closest planets to their sun, from what I remember."

"Doesn't look like it though, does it?" asked Rose with a frown. Her gaze locked onto something in the far distance. "Is that a city?"

The Doctor followed her gaze and squinted briefly before nodding. "Yes," he said. "It is pretty far away though. Fortunately, I have got just the thing." With a quick grin at her, he went back inside the TARDIS.

Rose only had a brief moment to ponder before she heard the revving of an engine and she barely moved out of the way as the Doctor came flying out of the TARDIS atop a hover motorcycle.

"What do you think?" he asked, grinning brightly. "Isn't she a beauty?"

"I'm not even going to ask," said Rose, taking the shiny black helmet that he tossed her and plopping it onto her head.

The Doctor frowned dramatically but gave her a hand so she could climb up behind him on the motorcycle. "Hold on tight," he said. "This baby can go speeds you wouldn't believe."

"Heard that before," said Rose, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Ooh, cheeky," he grinned and without warning, pressed down on the pedal to launch them ahead. A loud whoop of laughter escaped him when Rose squealed and tightened her grip on him.

The dreary surroundings of Epsilon III rushed past them and their mirth slowly morphed into determination as they arrived on the outskirts of the city. The buildings towered over them and they saw the first signs of people on the grey streets. All the shops seemed to be boarded up and temporary kiosks had been set up along the side of the streets, each of them selling an array of goods. Vendors were advertising their wares in loud voices, often trying to outbid their competitor's offers to sell their goods.

Their arrival garnered shocked looks and the Doctor had barely stopped the motorcycle before they were all but mobbed by the vendors shouting out offers for various things.

"...gravity modulator for your vehicle, sir?"

"Triple armour enforced helmets. Best in the galaxy, madam, I assure you…"

"Sparkling cherromile cider...extracted it myself. Your tastebuds will thank me, I promise…"

"Sir…"

"Madam…"

"Back off!"

The vendors all stopped and retreated a few paces as a bustling, middle-aged woman walked up to them. "I apologise for this lot," she said. "They seem to have forgotten their manners."

"Not a problem, believe me," said Rose, taking off her helmet and smiling tentatively at the woman. "I'm Rose, this is the Doctor."

"Name's Jinna," said the woman. "I guess you could say I run this little bazaar. You are both off-worlders, aren't you?"

"Yes," said the Doctor. "Just visiting, as a matter of fact."

"Well, you chose some place to visit," said Jinna. "Come along, I'll show you where you can park your little vehicle before someone comes along and strips it for parts."

The crowd of vendors around them dispersed slowly, though they were still pointing and muttering in hushed voices as the Doctor and Rose went after Jinna, who led them to a small empty shop which she opened with her keys.

"Used to own this thing," said Jinna as the Doctor parked the motorcycle inside it.

"What happened?" asked Rose curiously.

"Government foreclosed when I couldn't afford to keep it any longer," shrugged Jinna, not looking particularly bothered by it. "Mine stayed in business long after everyone else in this part had closed down, so there's something to be said for small mercies."

"And the rest of the planet?" asked the Doctor. "What happened to it?"

Jinna shook her head. "The barrier, of course," she said. "It all comes back to the barrier."

The Doctor and Rose exchanged confused looks. "What barrier?" asked Rose.

"The barrier above Epsilon III," said Jinna, unsurprised at their lack of knowledge. "Being this close to the sun, we need all the help we can get to keep the barrier up, unless we all want to burn down. But then something happened to the barrier. Nobody really remembers what anymore, but it is weak now." Jinna sighed and shook her head again. "Nothing grows on land anymore and all our moneys go into supplying the power plant to keep the barrier up. The government says they sent envoys off-world, but so far, no one has shown up to help."

"What a coincidence," said the Doctor and drew out the psychic paper with a flourish from his coat pocket. "That is exactly why we are here."

Jinna stared at the psychic paper with a frown. "John Smith and Rose Tyler," she read. "Earth Energy Services? Never heard of it."

"That's 'cos it's off-world," said Rose hastily. "Earth is really far from here, so it took us some time to get here."

Jinna opened her mouth to argue the point, but they heard a commotion outside and she jumped into action. "Stay here," she hissed. "Don't come out unless I say so."

The Doctor and Rose exchanged looks but stayed where they were while Jinna went outside to investigate. They heard her arguing with someone, before she came back wearing a scowl on her face and leading three men dressed in military clothing behind her.

"Doctor John Smith, Rose Tyler, this is Commander Alder," she said, introducing the man in charge. "He is in command in this zone."

"Jinna tells me you are off-worlders who are here to help," said Alder, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at them.

"That's right," said the Doctor and flashed the psychic paper once again. "If you are in charge of this zone, it must mean you can show us to a place where we can get to repairing the barrier, can't you?"

Alder's face registered some shock. "Do you mean to say that you will provide your services?" he asked.

"Of course, we will," said the Doctor jovially. "Won't we, Rose?"

"In return for what?" asked Alder, still suspicious.

"Nothing," said Rose. "Apart from maybe supplies that we might need to repair the barrier."

"Taken the words from my mouth," said the Doctor, regarding her with twinkling eyes. "So, what do you say, Commander Alder?" he asked, turning back to the stoic man who was doing his best not to look hopeful.

"Very well," said Alder. "You can leave your vehicle in Jinna's care. We will take you to the power plant."

"Good," said the Doctor but they were once again interrupted by disgruntled voices coming from the streets.

"Oh, the youths these days," complained Jinna. "It's alright, I will get them to calm down," she added when the Doctor and Rose looked worried.

"Doctor, how about you go ahead?" said Rose, turning to him. "I'll stay here for a while."

"Rose," he said, frowning.

"I'll be fine," said Rose. "Besides, you hardly need my help over at the power plant. I can always come find you."

He looked none too happy about it and it was clear as day on his face. Grasping both of Rose's hands, he led her away from the others so they could talk in private. "Rose, are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm sure," said Rose. "I'll find something to do, you know I will. You go and do what you do best."

He sighed and rested his forehead on hers. "One thing out of place and you come find me," he said. "Promise me," he added when she didn't say anything.

Rose nodded. "Alright," she agreed.

The Doctor looked far from satisfied but he pressed a kiss to her knuckles and walked up to Alder with a massive smile plastered on his face that no one but Rose knew wasn't real. "Alright, Commander Alder, lead the way," he said.

"Your...wife won't be joining us?" he asked, doing his best to conceal his surprise.

"No," said the Doctor, ignoring the way his stomach swooped at those words. "She wants to sightsee."

Commander Alder looked like he wanted to say something, but he snapped his mouth shut and nodded at his two men to lead the way out. The Doctor met Rose's gaze and at her assuring nod, he followed Commander Alder out. Jinna looked between them and Rose with a shrewd look on her face, but she waited until they were gone to turn to Rose.

"You don't seem the type to sightsee," she said.

"No," said Rose. "But he is better at the technical aspect of things. It's firmly in his area of expertise."

"And what's your area of expertise?" asked Jinna curiously.

Rose smiled at her. "People," she answered truthfully. "Come on, I'll help sort out whatever's annoyed this lot out here."

Jinna's eyes narrowed for a moment but upon seeing nothing but honesty on Rose's face, she nodded. "Fine," she said. "I'll introduce you to them then."

They had been travelling in the hover pod for about twenty minutes when Commander Alder turned to the Doctor. "I don't mean to overstep my bounds, Doctor, but I think you should have insisted upon your wife accompanying us," he said.

The Doctor didn't blink. "Rose is capable of looking after herself," he said flatly. "Besides, Jinna seems to know what she is doing."

"Jinna is only one woman," said Commander Alder. "She runs the bazaar, that is all. She isn't a soldier. She doesn't even carry a weapon."

"Knew there was a reason I liked her," said the Doctor lightly, pretending not to see Alder rolling his eyes. "Now, Commander Alder, I appreciate your concern, but I'd rather talk about the barrier. Tell me what you can about it."

Alder huffed but nodded. "It was constructed with the terraforming of Epsilon III…"

"That's the last of them then?" asked Rose as she and Jinna returned to Jinna's stall which was set up in front of her old shop.

"Yes," said Jinna, examining her inventory with a sigh. "It's mostly these kinds of disputes everyday. Someone stealing customers, encroaching on their territory...petty stuff, you know."

"And they come to you to solve it?" asked Rose.

"Nobody else they could go to," said Jinna with a shrug. "The government doesn't care. Alder certainly doesn't. If we want to stop an all-out war in the streets, someone has to step up."

"War?" asked Rose. "Surely, nobody here…"

"No, nobody here," said Jinna darkly. "Despite these little fights, everyone sticks together. If we are divided, it just makes it easier for Geo's lot to pick us apart."

"Who's Geo?" asked Rose curiously.

Jinna shook her head. "Pray you never find out," she said. "Calls himself the new order in this zone. He owns a warehouse just ways away from here. Stockpiles goods, weapons...and slaves."

"Slaves?" asked Rose, horrified.

"They take women, mostly," she said, mouth curling in disgust. "They fetch good price, he says. Most folks in this zone up and left when he started coming for their wives and daughters. Better to live in the wasteland than live in fear of their women being snatched from their homes, they said. Can't say I blame them either."

"Aren't you scared?" asked Rose, realising for the first time how few women she had seen since coming to the city.

Jinna snorted. "They don't want the likes of me, girlie," she said. "It's the younger, prettier ones they want." At Rose's look of worry, she placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry, I won't let them near you."

"It's not me I'm worried about," murmured Rose, jumping in shock when they heard a loud scream.

"It's them," said Jinna, looking scared for the first time. "Come on, back inside. Before they see you." Rose had half a mind to disobey but she followed Jinna, and the two of them went inside the shop. "Stay out of view," hissed Jinna, locking the door securely.

Rose ducked under the window, but raised her head enough to see what was going on outside. The bustling marketplace had gone deathly quiet as a group of men in black jumpsuits with yellow armbands wandered through the streets. They each had a gun held in their hands, which they were using to point at anyone who was unfortunate enough to be outside. They weren't shooting, nor were they really harming anyone, but they were threatening them just the same.

It all seemed harmless until the last of their group passed by, and Rose saw that they had taken a group of five or six women, who had been bound by chains and were being dragged along. The oldest in the group could not have been more than twenty and the youngest had to be barely ten. Rose's fists clenched in anger at her sides.

For the first time since she had left the Time Lock, the grey seemed to vanish until there was only red. It was clarity. She had her clarity back. Heat coursed through her veins like liquid fire and her lips drew back over her teeth in a snarl. She heard Jinna hiss something in her ear, but she didn't care. She stood up straight and walked out of the shop and onto the street without a single tremor in her step. The group of soldiers seemed to pause in shock at the sight of her, but she merely raised her arms in surrender and spoke in a chilling voice.

"Take me to your leader."

A/N Thanks for reading. Let me know what you thought of the chapter.

The next one will be up soon. See you then!