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Kyrie

I don't recall falling asleep, but waking up was none too pleasant. Something was shining in my face, something bright and blue.

"Is it morning?" I moaned, opening my bleary eyes. Bilbo, packed and ready to leave, was standing beside my bedroll. His sword was glowing bright blue, the bright light shining in my face. Bilbo was still here!

"What's that?" Bofur asked, his voice stuffy to my sleep addled ears. I couldn't take my eyes away from Bilbo's sword. Didn't Gandalf say the metal would glow blue if Orcs were close by? I pushed myself up from my bedroll, but fell back down when the sandy ground cracked beneath me.

"Wake up. Wake up!" Thorin shouted, alerting the company to the caving floor. Before anyone could make heads or tails of what was going on, the cave floor collapsed. I screamed, becoming tangled in my bedroll as the entire company fell down a chute. We were smacking into each other, grunting and cursing loudly.

Bang!

We all landed in a heap inside a wooden cage. The bars were crafted from old wood and wired together with twine made from…what looked like intestines. I cringed away from the bars, struggling to get up. Just as I got to my feet, a hand grabbed me by the back of my neck.

Whoever had me spun me around, and I came face to face with an extremely ugly creature. Its eyes were yellowed and crusty, as were its teeth. It was dressed in a tattered loin cloth, and it smelled like sweat, blood, and shit.

"Goblins!" Kili shouted, trying to draw his bow, only to be tackled by three Goblins. One Goblin pulled at my belt of throwing daggers, its sharp claws tearing the leather and sending me crashing to the ground. My daggers and darts were taken away as well, but I kicked the goblin in the face when he tried to take off my ankle bells. I was lifted to my feet roughly, and dragged along with the rest of the company down a narrow path, surrounded by jeering Goblins. I couldn't see much, the wound over my eye had opened up again and the blood was blinding one of my eyes.

The Goblins dragged us through a huge network of underground tunnels. The pathways were narrow, and on each side there was nowhere to go but down. Down, thousands of yards, if not more. The Goblins took us over a rickety wooden bridge that led to a macramé throne room, where a massive Goblin sat.

The Goblin, which looked a lot like a Troll, just fatter, uglier, and smellier, jumped off his throne. The company was thrown to kneel at his feet, onto the blood caked floor. The massive Goblin trampled several of his own kind in his haste to get to us, crushing his brethren to death on the floor.

"Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom?" The biggest Goblin sneered, his voice thick with saliva. "Spies? Thieves? Assassins?"

"Dwarves, Your Malevolence." Another Goblin said, bowing to his king.

"Dwarves?" The Goblin King said, surprised.

"We found them on the front porch." The same Goblin gestured to us with a pleased smirk.

"Well, don't just stand there; search them! Every crack, every crevice." The Goblin King crowed, earning a cheer from his hoard. Everything that they had previously taken from us was thrown before the Goblin Kings feet. All our weapons, supplies, and trinkets. One Goblin had the audacity to pull Oin's hearing trumpet, and crush it underfoot. That pissed me off! I had nothing more for them to take, since I had sewn the pocket of my cloak that hid my dress and jewelry shut, so the Goblins left me alone.

"What are you doing in these parts? Speak!" The Goblin King howled, glowering down at us. None of us said a word. I bent down to retrieve Oin's hearing trumpet and jammed it in my pocket, earning a jab from the Goblin watching my every move.

"Well then, if they will not talk, we'll make them squawk!" The King said, earning cheers from his people. "Bring out the Mangler! Bring out the Bone Breaker! Start with the youngest."

"Which is the youngest?" One Goblin growled. "Dwarves are such ugly creatures, I can't tell the difference!"

"Just grab these two." Another Goblin sneered, grabbing Ori and I by the wrist. "An' lookie here! This ones a female!"

I fought and spat as the Goblin dragged me towards a large wooden contraption. I was thrown onto what the Goblins called 'The Bone Breaker' and strapped into the leather cuffs. It looked like the limbs were stretched in different directions by a gear until they dislocated and broke. The entire company was screaming as I was placed in the device, and so was I.

"Let me go!" I screamed, kicking out with my free leg, knocking out a few of the Goblin's teeth. Three of his comrades came to help him, pinning me down long enough to secure me. I felt tears start to well as the group of Goblins went after Ori. I felt the first pull of the device, yanking my limbs in opposite directions.

I screamed loudly, feeling my bones and joints creak. I heard Thorin shout: "WAIT!", but it was too late for me. A part of me burned brightly in anger. Thorin would save Ori, but not me. I screamed again as the bone in my ankle was yanked, popping loudly. The Goblin controlling the machine cackled loudly, turning the crank and gear with more gusto. The device, placed too close to the edge, started to quake.

I screamed when I felt something in my wrist and shoulder pop and burn. The Goblin laughed, spinning the gear with all his might. The device started to shake harder, and before I knew it, I heard something on the device break. I felt myself, still strapped to the wood, begin to fall back! The device was going to fall off the edge!

"BILBO!" I screamed over the sound of Goblin's cheering. I closed my eyes, screaming as I went over the edge with the device, waiting for my plummet to end with my death. Before I even hit the ground, my vision started to get blurry.

And everything went black.

Bilbo

Wherever I was, it was incredibly dark and stuffy. I remember falling, but I was surprised when I woke up. I swore I was going to die. Something underneath me was soft and spongy, which must have cushioned my fall. They were mushrooms, giant patches of mushrooms. I dragged myself off the mushrooms, gasping as I spied the Goblin that had tackled me, lying on the ground, bleeding.

But that wasn't the only thing I spied.

Kyrie was lying in a nearby mushroom patch, surrounded by pieces of broken wood and gears. How had she fallen down here? I could tell by the slow rise and fall of her chest that she was alive.

"Yes."

I jumped, surprised by the nasally voice. Where had it come from? Who was down here?

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Gollum! Gollum!"

I made sure that Kyrie was safely hidden in her patch of mushrooms as I watched the creature come out of the darkness. A hunched, pale man was circling the half-dead Goblin. The creature then grabbed the Goblin's gnarled feet and started to drag it away.

"B-Bi…" Kyrie whispered, slowly coming to consciousness. I shushed her, running my fingers over her lips to quiet her. The half Fae moaned quietly, trying to sit up. Her mismatched eyes widened when she spied the creature, just as the Goblin woke up and fought against it. The creature grabbed a rock and pounded it against the Goblin's head, sending blood and brains splattering around.

Whatever that thing was, Kyrie and I needed to stay far away from it. During the beating, something glittering fell out of the creature's loincloth. It rolled towards me, the metal gleaming in the dark.

"Nasty goblinses." The disgusting creature hissed. "Better than old bones, Precious; better than nothing."

The thing dragged away the beaten Goblin, hobbling under the weight. I secured my sword to my hip and leaned down to pick up whatever the creature had dropped. It was a ring; a glittering gold ring. At the sound of Kyrie's moan, I pocketed the ring and rushed back to her side.

"Key…Key, get up, please." I worriedly urged, watching her face scrunch in pain. Slowly, her beautiful hazel and teal orbs fluttered open.

"B-Bilbo?" Key groaned, her eyes shutting in pain. "Where are we?"

"At the bottom of the gorge, I think." I answered, noticing for the first time that Key was strapped to some kind of wooden board by leather cuffs.

"Key, what are you attached to?" I asked, prying the leather loose from around her small wrist. Key thanked me softly, rubbing her raw wrists.

"The Goblins, they put me in the bone breaker." Key gestured to the pile of wood, leather, and gears. "Well, what used to be the bone breaker."

I grimaced, trying to imagine what the torture device looked like when it wasn't smashed into pieces. Key crawled closer to me, resting some of her weight on my shoulder in exhaustion.

"D-did the bone breaker do its purpose?" I asked, nervously patting down the Fae, checking for any broken bones or muscle pulls.

"My ankle hurts, but I need to just walk it off. Everything's sore though and I think my cut from yesterday opened." Key said rubbing her aching muscles. She raised a shaky hand above her eye, hissing when she pressed her fingers against the wound.

"Too many boneses, Precious!"

Key jolted; her mismatched eyes wide as they stared into the darkness. So that creature wasn't a figment of my imagination. Key leaned closer to me, her fingers twisting into my shirt.

"What was that?" Key asked, shakily standing to her feet. I held her in my arms until her strength returned to her, and she was able to hold herself up. It felt good to have her weight pressed against me, and it felt even better to have her use me for help. I felt validated, like I was able to do something for her.

I didn't feel like such a waste of space.

We slowly followed the creature's terrifying voice. When Key asked me why we were following the creature, my only response was: "It might know a way out."

"Too many boneses, Precious! Nothing of flesh!" The creature crowed again. Then, the whiney, raspy voice changed and became gruff and deep.

"Shut up! Get its skin off! Start with its head." The deeper voice said. Was there two of them? I pushed Key behind me, earning a small scoff, but she allowed me to peer around the corner first. There was only one creature that I could see.

"The cold hard lands, they bites our hands, they gnaws our feet. The rocks and stones, they're like old bones, all bare of meat. Cold as death, they have no breath, it's good to eat!" The creature sang, beating the lifeless Goblin's body. The creature was sitting on a rock in the middle of a small pond, busily knocking the Goblin's head on a rock.

My sword, which still rested at my hip, began glowing bright blue once more. For something that's supposed to protect me, it's certainly been doing a horrid job. The creature must have caught sight of the sword. I tried to hide back behind the wall, reaching out and grasping Key's hand. She stilled, hearing the creature rooting around.

My sword flickered once before the light died out. I felt safe enough to peer around the corner, but when I did, the creature was no longer there. I listened for any sound, but I heard nothing.

Then, Key screamed, yanking me back by the collar of my coat.

From above me, the creature jumped down to land where I was once standing. It was even more horrid close up. Large, glassy eyes, wiry hair, and pallid yellow-white skin. It was wearing nothing but a tattered loin cloth.

"Blesses and splashes, Precious!" The creature crowed in its high pitched voice. "That's a meaty mouthful!"

The creature lumbered towards us, forcing me to draw my sword. Key fumbled for some sort of weapon, but the only thing she was able to pull from her person was Oin's smashed hearing trumpet.

"Aah! Gollum! Gollum!" The creature yelped, retreating in fear when I pressed the point of my sword against his throat. Key growled, baring her teeth at the creature.

"Back, stay back!" I said, pushing Key behind me further. "I'm warning you: don't come any closer."

The creature looked confused, it's glassy eyes wide in thought. "It's got an Elvish blade, but it's not an Elfs. Not an Elfs, no. What is it, Precious? What is it?"

"Bilbo…I think we should get away now." Key hummed softly in my ear. I wholeheartedly agreed.

"My name is Bilbo Baggins." I said, trying to muster up some sort of bravery.

"Bagginses? What are Bagginses, Precious?" The creature asked, leaning to the side to sneak a peek towards Key. I stepped to the side, trying to cover her from his gaze.

It didn't work to well considering she was five inches taller than me, give or take an inch.

"I'm not a Baggins, he is." Key said, correcting the creature for some reason. "I'm a Levistone."

"I'm a Hobbit, from the Shire." I said, stepping in front of her again. I wanted all the creature's attention on me. I didn't even want him looking at her.

The creature looked elated by the news. "Oh! We like Goblinses, batses, and fishes, but we hasn't tried Hobbitses before. Is it soft? Is it juicy?"

The creature approached again, saliva running from its mouth. It wanted to eat us?!

What a way for a respectable Hobbit to go!

"Now, now: keep your distance! I'll use this if I have to!" I warned, holding out my sword and waving it. I tried to remember what Dwalin had shown me, but I felt like a noodle-armed child. The creature took a cautious step back, snarling at me.

"I don't want any trouble, do you understand? Just show me the way to get out of here, and we'll be on our way." I annunciated as slowly as possible.

The creature cocked its head to the side in confusion. "Why? Is it lost?"

"Yes! Yes, and I want to get un-lost as soon as possible." I said, hoping the creature would just lead us to the exit. Then, the creature's voice changed.

"Ooh! We knows! We knows a safe paths for Hobbitses! Safe paths in the dark!" The creature said, his voice high pitched.

"Shut up!" The creature said, it's voice becoming deep and gravely once more.

"We didn't say anything…" Key mumbled, pressing her cheek against my head, burying her nose in my hair. The creature glared at the Fae, it's eyes bloodshot and gleaming.

"Wasn't talking to you." The creature said darkly, but then changed to a high pitched tone again. "But yes, we was, Precious, we was!"

I wasn't going to stand here and listen to this nutter fight with himself. Every moment we spent down here was another moment separated from the safety of the company. If they were still alive, that is.

"Look, I don't know what your game is, but I -"

"Games?" At the sound of games, the creature smiled. "We loves games, doesn't we, Precious? Does it like games? Does it? Does it? Does it like to play?"

"Maybe?" I said slowly. If I played his stupid game, would he lead us to an exit? The creature held up his hands, and smiled a snaggle-tooth smile.

"What has roots as nobody sees, is taller than trees. Up, up, up it goes, and yet, never grows." The creature recited the riddle. Is that his game? Riddles?

"The mountain." I answered, confused as to the game. Was the game answering riddles? The creature started to laugh psychotically.

"Yess, yess, oh, let's have another one. Yes, come on, do it, do it again. Ask us." The creature demanded, striking it's fist on the ground. I felt Key move, sticking her head over my shoulder.

"What bleeds for almost a week and doesn't die?" The Fae asked kindly, batting her long lashes at the creature. The creature thought for a moment.

"We...we knows this...it fishes! It's the fishes! No! It's a volcano!"

"Nope. It's a woman." Key's voice had gone from sweet to icy. "Now lead us out!"

"No! No more riddles! Finish him off. Finish her now. Gollum! Gollum!" The creature screeched, not appreciating Key's brand of sarcasm. I pushed Key further behind me and drew my sword forwards. The creature stalled, staring at the sharp point of my sword.

"No! No, no, I want to play. I do. I want to play. I can see you are very good at this. So why don't we have a game of riddles? Yes, just you and me." I said, shooting Key a 'please, be quiet' glance. I crouched down until I was level with the creature.

"Yes! Yes, just - just us." I said nervously, nodding at Key so slowly sit down behind me, as much out of the creature's view as possible. "And if I win, you show me the way out."

"Yes. Yes -" The creature started, but then stopped and snarled. It then began to fight with itself. It was like watching some kind of twisted ping pong game.

"And if it loses? What then?"

"Well, if it loses, Precious, we will eats it!"

The creature, who was either named Precious or Gollum began to laugh. "If Baggins loses, we eats it whole."

Was that worth it? My life or freedom?

"Fair enough."

"Bilbo!" Key gasped, mismatched eyes wide in horror.

"It's going to be alright." I whispered to her, putting my sword back into the hilt. The creature watched happily, tapping his fingers on his knees.

"Well, Baggins first." The creature said, resting its hands and chin on the edge of the rock like a small child. I had to think of a riddle, and I had to think of a good one. This was our lives on the line! I couldn't pick a riddle I would use to amuse my little nieces and nephews.

"Thirty white horses on a red hill. First they champ, then they stamp, and then they stand still." I said slowly. The creature frowned, opening and closing his mouth in thought. He was silent for several seconds.

"Teeth?" He replied.

Damnit.

The creature became ecstatic, laughing and jumping around like a little child. "Teeth! Yes, my Precious. But we - we only have nine." The creature smiled, showing that he truly did only have nine teeth. I couldn't help but lean away in discus.

"Our turn. Voiceless it cries, wingless flutters, toothless bites, mouthless mutters." The creature said his riddle.

"Just a minute." I requested, pacing back and forth in thought. The creature's personalities began to switch while I thought, making it hard to concentrate. I was trying to think, while trying to keep track of the creature and Key.

"Oh, oh! We knows. We knows!"

Please. Be so stupid that you give me the answer.

"Shut up."

Kill joy.

I stopped pacing and stared at the water. From somewhere behind the creature, a breeze came, causing ripples in the stagnant pond.

"Wind! It's wind!" I said, smiling at the creature's snarl of frustration. "Of course it is."

"Very clever, Hobbitses, very clever." The creature snarled, beginning to slink closer. But his gaze wasn't set on me, it was set on Key. The Fae bared her teeth at the creature, grabbing a pointed rock and holding it out. I stepped between them, pointing my sword at the creature again.

He would not get past me.

"A box without hinges, key, or lid; yet golden treasure inside is hid."

The creature thought hard, talking to himself under his breath. He repeated the riddle, but didn't answer. He was taking his time.

"Well?" I asked, hoping the creature would resign. "Give up?"

"Give us a chance, Precious, give us a chance!" The creature howled, pounding the stone floor with his fists.

Did…did he just call me Precious?

Before I could futher think about the creepy creature, he crowed in delight. "Eggses! Eggses! What crunchy little eggses, yes. Grandmother taught us to suck them. Yes."

Uncle Bingo taught me that riddle. I blame him if it gets me killed and devoured.

I was distracted by a noise in the darkness; the flapping of a bat's wings. When I turned to look back at the creature, he was gone. Key leapt to her feet, her back pressing against mine. It was something Dwalin told me that warriors learned so they wouldn't be snuck up upon.

How did Key know it? Was she a warrior at some point?

"We have one for you." The creature's voice came from different parts of the cavern, echoing off the stone and darkness. "All things it devours, birds, beasts, trees, flowers. Gnaws iron, bites steel, grinds hard stone to meal. Answer us."

"Give me a moment, please, I gave you a good long while." I reminded the creature, keeping my sword drawn.

"Bilbo…" Key whispered to me, her hair braid trailing over my shoulder. "It would be nice if you're massive brain worked a little faster."

"I don't know this one." I whispered back to her, feeling her tense against me.

The creature obviously heard, because he began to taunt us. "Is it tasty? Is it scrumptious? Is it crunchable?"

With the word crunchable, the creature leapt from the darkness towards me, gunning for my throat. My sword went out at the same time Key's leg did. Her foot went slamming into the creature's chest, sending him staggering back. Key whimpered and cursed, quickly bringing her injured foot back and putting all her weight on her opposite foot.

"Let me think!" I said, still holding out my sword.

"It's stuck. Bagginses is stuck." The creature wheezed, holding its chest where Key's foot had landed. "Time's up."

The creature readied to launch himself at us once more, and Key was in no condition to kick him away again. Then, the answer hit me.

"Time. Time! The answer is time." I crowed, waving my sword around victoriously.

The creature snarled, showing off his nine disgusting teeth.

"Actually, it wasn't that hard."

"Last question. Last chance. Ask us. Ask us!" The creature roared. He was holding his arms behind his back oddly, as if he was holding something.

"Yes, yes, alright." I said, slowly walking over towards the stagnant lake. If we had the water behind us, we wouldn't have to worry about him attacking from that angle. Key limped along with me, keeping her weight onto her uninjured foot.

I needed to think of a good riddle. Something that would stump him. Something obscure. Something…odd. I stuck my hands in my pockets, and the idea hit me.

"What have I got in my pocket?"

"That's not fair. It's not fair! It's against the rules." The creature howled, throwing the rock he had hiding behind his back.

"You never specified any rules." Key said, earning a fiery glare from the creature.

"It's probably not a good plan to irritate him further, love." I whispered back to her sarcastically. Key stalled a moment, her cheeks turning a light pink.

"Ask us another one." The creature asked, frustrated.

"No, no, no. You said 'Ask me a question.' Well, that is my question. What have I got in my pocket?" I said, using the creatures own words against him.

I just hope this won't be the last riddle I ever ask.