As Amelia wakes up the next morning she's completely disoriented by her surroundings. It takes her a full minute to figure out that she's lying in Owen's trailer, with him next to her, but as the realisation hits her so do last nights memories.
Oh god. After months of carefully stuffing down her feelings she'd let them all out last night, and she hadn't just told him like a normal person, but she'd yelled at him.
And to make matters worse she'd burst into tears right after that. Because he'd he'd been so sweet, and comforting, and she had been so happy to see him alive and well.
At that moment she notices something else. She hadn't been paying attention to it but his hand was on her stomach. On the bump that had formed there these past couple of weeks.
Crap.
Until she hasn't worried about telling him about the baby. He hadn't even been home and she'd had no idea when he'd be returning so she'd just ignored the problem like she did so often.
Only now she has to deal with it. She doesn't know for sure if his hand ended up there on purpose or by mistake, but either way, when he wakes up he'll know, and he'll have questions.
Her body freezes as the panic sets in.
Owen's been awake for a few minutes already, but he's not yet willing to let Amelia go and so he's just been lying there, savouring the feeling of her in his arms, the comfort and the familiarity of it all.
But then he feels her body get stiffen against his and he immediately worries. "Amelia? What's wrong? Talk to me" He says, no longer caring to keep up pretenses about still being asleep.
"Nothing, I'm fine" Is her response, "Go back to sleep". He knows better by now than to trust her when she uses that godforsaken sentence and he rolls her over so they're now facing eachother.
She doesn't look at him and instead just plays with the sheets, pinching the fabric between her fingers. "Please. Tell me" He begs her.
"I was out off line last night, I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm really…". Before she can apologise he interrupts her. "You have nothing to be sorry about, you hear me?" He needs her to fully grasp it. "I'm the one who should be apologising to you, Amelia, I'm so, so sorry".
She looks up in surprise at his sudden fierceness and he quickly continues. "I never should have left you, I should've stayed and supported you through this".
Amelia averts her eyes down again. "I was the one who broke things off, you weren't under any obligation to help me, so you don't have to apologise".
But he does, he so does and needs to explain. "I do. I was a jackass. I was scared that I was going to lose you, that you were going to run. And so instead of waiting around I took matters into my own hands and left. But I shouldn't have. I should've stayed and fought for you. You needed me and I let you down. I'm so sorry".
Owen gently lifts up her chin with his hand and forces her to look him in the eye. "Amelia I meant what I said, I want what we started. I want you. Maybe we're doomed to fail but if so I wanna go down trying".
There are tears in her eyes now but she refuses to let them fall. She hesitates. When she finally speaks her voice is barely above a whisper. "I'm terrified of being hurt again".
"Not just by you" She adds quickly, "Just in general. Any time I've let myself be happy something ends up going wrong and I won't survive it if that happens again. There's so much about me that you don't know…".
"I know that there's a lot I don't know. But I also know that you're the strongest person I know. With all that you've been through it's only made you that much more amazing. You're beautiful and kind and funny. I know that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, because I wanna learn something new about you everyday, because I know i'll never grow bored when I'm with you. And because I love you".
He hadn't meant to state it quite so bluntly, but now that he's said it he knows that he means every single word.
Amelia's heart flutters as he tells her he loves her. She hadn't let herself believe it until now because let's face it, she's not the most experienced person when it comes to love and it would've been that much harder to forget about him if love were involved. But now she's sure. They love each other. She's in love with him.
Slowly she brings her hand up to cup his face. "It's gonna take me a while to trust you again" She says, "And I'll do my best but you're going to have to be patient with me when it comes to talking about my feelings". He nods in understanding.
"But" She continues and then she immediately pauses again, "I love you too".
His lips are on hers as soon as the sentence has left her and he kisses her with all the passion he is able. She returns the kiss with just as much enthusiasm. They break apart a few minutes later gasping for air, foreheads touching.
There's still one thing they need to discus. Well actually there are a lot of things they need to discus but there's one thing that takes precedence. Owen slides his hand under Amelia's sweatshirt and rests his palm on the small bump, mindlessly caressing it with his thumb.
He can't quite bring bring himself to ask though. Because he's afraid that he'll insult her if he does but also because he's terrified that he won't like her answer.
"She's yours" Amelia whispers before he can torture himself any longer. She'd been looking down at his hand on her stomach but now she looks up to meet his eyes. The grin that he produces nearly splits his face in two. "She?".
She doesn't actually know if it's a girl, she's just been of the baby that's currently residing in her womb as as a she because it's easier to differentiate this pregnancy from her first pregnancy that way.
With her recent promise in mind she knows she has to try and let him in and so she tells him. "I don't actually know if it's a girl, it's just less painful to think of her as a girl, because of last time".
He's aware that she had a baby before who only lived for forty three minutes, though he doesn't know any more than that, and he can only imagine how hard this has been on her. "Have you gone to get an ultrasound done yet?" He asks.
She smiles sadly. "Nope".
"Amelia, I don't have to tell you how important it is to make sure that everything's okay. Not just for the baby's sake but also for yours". There's no judgement in his voice, only concern.
Sighing, she pushes him down and lays her head down on his chest. "I just haven't been able to get myself to go. My track record in this area isn't great and I'm really afraid the ultrasound will show there's something wrong with the baby".
His hands find their way to her back and he rubs circles down her spine soothingly. She continues her story. "Plus I didn't really have anyone who could come with me. Sure I could've called Addison, she would've flown down in an instant, but she was there last time and that just brings back to many memories. So yeah, I've been avoiding it".
"What happened last time?" Owen doesn't wanna pry, but he also wants to help her as well as he can and in order to do that he needs to know.
Amelia swallows the lump that has formed in her throat. "My son was anencephalic".
Owen just hugs her to his chest tightly. He doesn't ever want to let her go again. He's a doctor so he knows the term she just used, even though he's never seen an anencephalic baby himself.
It's cruel really, almost ironic in a horrible and devastating way. The top class neurosurgeon pregnant with a baby without a brain.
A slight sniffle tells him that Amelia is crying now. "It's going to be okay" He says, "We'll go together this afternoon and we'll see our perfectly healthy baby girl. And we'll make make sure she stays that way. Okay?".
She nods into his chest and he tenderly kisses her forehead.
"Now, let's get make the two of you some breakfast!" He exclaims and though it pains him to do so he lets her go.
As he gets up from the bed and glances back at her he sees her beaming up at him, with a smile on her face. And at that moment he vows to himself that he's going to do his damnest to makes sure that that smiles never leaves her face again.
AN: can I get an oh my god? Because OH MY GOD DID ANY OF YOU SEE THE SNEAK PEEK?! I've seen it about 5 times now and oh my fucking god. Anyway, here's the second chapter. I had a lot of trouble writing the dialogue, it's not my strongsuit, so please let me know what you think. Also, let me know if you think I should do a third chapter, with the whole ultrasound part. Hope you like it! Xx