A/N: I can only apologize for being absolutely MIA on this site as I haven't updated in a long, long time. Instead of rambling on about how busy I've been and how stressful life has been, I will go ahead and post some updates here and there. The only thing I can assure you, there will be no re-watch of "For better or for worse" as my 2014 motto is "don't allow bullshit in your life!" ;) I hope you guys are still on board or will find this story once it has a few updates. WriterLeigh inspired this. Mwah!

Previously on "Pivotal Questions"...

"You know what we are, Kate? We're over..." he mumbled and left his study. It was time to get a grip on reality and to move forward. He couldn't be the plucky sidekick anymore. He needed to step up his game.

She was going home.

She was curious what to expect.

She hoped that she could return to something that hadn't been completely destroyed.

She had to.

Chapter 2

"No, Gina I know ... Yes, I have read the contract. In fact, I have done it quite a few times. No, I have not forgotten ... Yes, it's been difficult. No I don't need ... No, Gina, I seriously don't ..." Castle huffed at the inadequacy of Gina's ability to feel any kind of compassion for him. Or for people in general. Or for puppies...

Gina had called him over thirty minutes ago and the only thing she had bothered doing was to complain about the fact that his latest manuscript didn't live up to her expectations.

"Richard, seriously..." the blonde said, exasperated, "I don't really know what to make of it let alone selling it in bookstores across the nation. This isn't your regular way of dealing with things and the ... personal note it has ... well, I am just not sure how people are going to take it. And I am saying this as your editor, not as your ex wife."

"You sure about that?!" Castle answered her little monologue sarcastically.

"I am sure about that. This book is supposed to tell the story of Jameson and Nikki and not Richard and Katherine. Besides, if you're not able to tell fact from fiction anymore, it might be better we delay the publication of your latest installment for a little while longer, don't you think?" Gina retorted and Castle had to admit that she might have a point. Or even a few of them. He gritted his teeth in anger and desperation.

"Look, Richard..." she said, her voice becoming a little softer, almost motherly, "it needs to be something you can be proud of and it needs to be something that doesn't throw your muse back into one dark, spiraling abyss of darkness. I know I wasn't there but from what I gather this experience has been life-changing. Do you really want her to deal with it in your book again? Since you said she read them?"

"I don't even know if I see her again..." Castle mumbled and the realization hit him once again like a painful jab in the guts. This shouldn't still be this hard. Yet, it was.

"See? You gotta ask yourself, 'would she want to read it?' and if the question is 'no', then there is work ahead. Especially if you aren't sure that you're around her or that she'll be around you. You better make it right."

"You're right on this one, I gotta give you that," Castle admitted and then sighed, "let me try my best on that manuscript and you have it as soon as possible."

"I'll get you another month. Good thing we never really put a date out for this one!"

"I would have said we did some thinking ahead..." Castle laughed, his voice coated with sarcasm.

"...but this is all kinds of morbid!" Gina answered dryly and matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, that," Castle said and after a few rather meaningless sentences he ended the call and put the phone down on its station. He ran his hands through his face and rubbed his eyes to drive the tiredness away. He slowly made his way into the kitchen. It was time to say goodbye to IHOP takeaway for breakfast and all kinds of other takeaways for lunch and dinner. Desperate situations called for desperate actions which was why this called for a ...

"A s'morlette? Seriously dad?"

"Ugh, the only thing I am getting today is criticism. Not you, too!" Castle complained jokingly as he turned back around to his teenage daughter who had made herself comfortable in her usual chair at the counter. She eyed him up closely hoping he wouldn't see the concern still visible in her big innocent eyes but he did.

"It's alright, pumkin, I was just referring to Gina with whom I just had a very, very long phone call. You know how those can be..."

"Yes, dad, I know. You were married to this one."

"Oh, don't remind me!"

"...and you went back to dating her until a couple of months ago..."

"You are reminding me!" Castle whined and put the pan on the ceramic stove top.

"You still haven't heard right?" Alexis changed the topic not so subtly only to find her father's eyes immediately darken with anger and lost hope.

"No," he simply said and turned around to face the contents of the fridge. Alexis had to be one of the least intrusive people he had ever encountered - or raised for that matter - and it usually wasn't her call to comment on his life choices. However, she had decided that she would do it this time around. It had been the second time she had referred to Kate Beckett and even if she did so ever so gently Castle felt like a part of his heart had been ripped to shreds with every mention of her name, with every memory that was triggered. Never before had he been so not over someone. And never again had he not even been with the person.

"She must have her reasons, dad, I am sure she must have," Alexis said softly and Castle was surprised to hear his daughter defend Kate Beckett. As if his daughter could indeed read his mind she added, "I really like her, you know?"

"Well, I never thought you did, to be honest." Castle said honestly, his eyes widening in disbelief.

"Oh but I do. She is someone special, you know? She is difficult and she has been through ... a lot and that doesn't make it much easier to get to know her, I imagine. But she makes you happy, dad, and I see how comfortable you are around her. And she as comfortable around you. She'll come around."

Castle didn't say anything to that and busied himself with his kitchen utensils. Truth was, he wasn't sure if it wasn't too late already keeping in mind that he hadn't heard from Kate Beckett since he had left her hospital room. A room in which Dr. Motorcycle boy sat by her side and took care of her. He shuddered at the thought that the doctor was part of his muse's recovery and he was not. Apparently that was something that partners were not doing for each other.

"I hope you're right," he simply said and put all his s'morlette plans to rest. Pancakes it was.

The automatic doors to the building opened as she approached it with slow but bouncy steps. She had been in the city for three days and slowly got used to the dimension of New York City, its noise and the fact that the amount of people she had encountered so far had been a multitude in comparison to her quiet time in the mountains. She read the general overview board and scanned for the name she was looking for. When she found the right floor she walked around the corner and pressed the button for the elevator. While she waited she tapped nervously with her foot. Kate Beckett didn't enjoy unknown situations and therefore didn't look forward to any encounter of this sort.

The elevator arrived and she stepped in.

It was time to get things going.