Author's Note:
It seems I am excessively using this site in order to forget that I have exams due or that I do need to do some studying for my finals. I think this site is a huge distraction, either as a reader or a writer. It needs to be banned from the internet. Seriously. Argh!
Well, it can't be banned because if it didn't exist this story and all my other stories wouldn't and I'd totally find that sad. So .. that being said, I am back with an update on this lovely piece of Castle. Mind you, don't send me a review that contains a spoiler, I have not caught up on the season and I won't until I find out if the show makes it into another season. So please, be a decent human being :* I missed you guys!
Previously on "Pivotal Question"...
The automatic doors to the building opened as she approached it with slow but bouncy steps. She had been in the city for three days and slowly got used to the dimension of New York City, its noise and the fact that the amount of people she had encountered so far had been a multitude in comparison to her quiet time in the mountains. She read the general overview board and scanned for the name she was looking for. When she found the right floor she walked around the corner and pressed the button for the elevator. While she waited she tapped nervously with her foot. Kate Beckett didn't enjoy unknown situations and therefore didn't look forward to any encounter of this sort.
The elevator arrived and she stepped in.
It was time to get things going.
"How's the writing going?" Alexis asked tentatively before she shoved a fork full of pancake into her mouth. Castle was busy drenching his own serving of pancakes in maple syrup but looked up when he heard the question his daughter had just asked. He stared at her, collecting his thoughts. He wasn't sure whether he should admit to the very disastrous state of his ability to write, despite the honorable decision to not use alcohol for inspiration. The maple syrup slowly continued tripping onto his serving of pancakes and once he realized he was holding the bottle in the wrong angle, the entire pancake was covered.
"Ah might as well," Castle muttered and grabbed his knife and fork. He was munching on the second bite when he realized that his daughter was still looking at him expectantly. He swallowed and cleared his throat.
"Not too well. Gina made me swear I was gonna improve soon. Good thing we hadn't set a date for the publication of my next book anyway. The alcohol is out of the window, though, pumpkin. Makes me forget the time entirely and I don't think I want to be woken up by a phone call from Gina ever again. Especially not when its well past anyone's wake-up call and when normal people are expected to take calls..." he tried to end the little speech with a joke but it fell flat. Castle knew why. Alexis had seen him in his desperate and too drunk state. No need to beat around the bush.
"I did remind you, you married her, right?" Alexis grinned, referring to his second ex-wife.
"On multiple occasions, yes, you did," Castle grinned back.
"Need I remind you that the last reminder is less than 30 minutes old?"
"Ah, no need for that, either," the writer answered and sighed audibly.
"Are you going to the precinct today?" the redhead asked, taking in the still somewhat disheveled state of his appearance.
"'S actually a good idea. Could catch up with Ryan and Esposito, get inspired. Feel my mojo coming back maybe?"
Writer's block could be considered a serious and life-threatening disease sometimes. Especially when someone like Gina was the threat and her weapon were vicious and snarky remarks over the phone and all kinds of harassing contact attempts.
"I think you should go out and get your energy banks refilled, dad," Alexis said and nudged his shoulder encouragingly. She sensed he might not yet be ready to face the too familiar environment of the 12th precinct but she also knew he needed to get out of their loft and into the streets of New York City.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
The rapid beating of her heart had her blood rush through her veins and made it impossible for her to focus on anything else than her now erratic breathing and the almost frantic flutter of her heart. The sudden rush of adrenaline at the thought of meeting him very soon. The ache in her chest where the beating of her heart made her painfully aware that she might have recovered well enough to be standing on her own two feet again but maybe her recovery hadn't included emotionally stressful situations like this. It wasn't as if her life depended on this very moment. It couldn't be. She still wondered what would happen if she screwed this up.
'You've already screwed this up beyond repair, Kate!' she scolded herself as the elevator approached the floor where her appointment was to take place. The blood rushing through her veins created an underlying sound that buzzed in her ears and almost made her miss the small chime of the elevator that announced the arrival on the designated floor. The pounding of her heart stepped up a notch.
The scars were there. The bandage bay be removed but the remainders of the damage was still visible to anyone. Just as the scar on her chest told the story of how she had been shot by a sniper. In a cemetery, while speaking the eulogy of her deceased captain.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
She had to move her right hand onto her chest when she exited the elevator and turned slightly left toward a glass door. She tried to hold herself together by gripping the soft material of her flowy white shirt, laying her hand right on top of the scar that daunted to haunt her forever. A constant reminder of what had happened. A bullet had almost killed her, shot with dangerous precision and she was only alive because of a small movement her partner had made in an attempt to save her life. Castle.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
She should have called him. At all. It was too late now. The damage was done.
"Hi, welcome. How may I help you?"
"I am here to see Dr. Burke?"
TBC