AN:
Okay this is sorta the big chapter that everyone has been waiting for Kinda. Thorin says his peace and Bilbo listens... I am not good with mushy apology stuff. Funny things? Sure I fight my way through it. Cutesy kid stuff I can do without breaking a sweat (Older sister to nine siblings, two biological the others family by other means but still family and they mostly two of the boys call me my name but the others call me sis). Balancing Movie Thorin with Book Thorin and infusing enough emotion... That has me worrying... Anyways! I love every single one of my lovely, lovely readers! *Has plushies of Alonia143, DragonFire Cheetah and Iridescent Bellisle Cullen's favorite Hobbit Character* Thank you for your continued support!
Bilbo jumps, his hazel eyes widening at the deep voice that interrupts his reading. Thorin stands before his, wearing his furs but not his sword and his heart skips a beat. I'm not ready, oh Yavanna I am not ready. It's only been a day! His brain screams whilst his heart screams He's alive, he's alive and here, why? Why?Oh he's still as handsome as ever. But he banished me. Had his men send me away with a lie. Fear and hurt, heart and mind war as Thorin clears his throat akwardly and shuffles his feet. If he wasn't caught in the middle of a fight or flight reaction he would have found it amusing.
"May I sit?"
"Of course," his voice speaks without his permission. You're letting him sit! Why? Send him away. Ignore him… No don't really ignore him, you promised you'd listen… But not so soon! Determined to ignore the voices in his head fighting he turns back to his book. He hears Thorin sits down, feels Thorin's feet touch his.
"I do not know where it start. Other than I am so glad you are alive."
His fingers tighten on the book, The Founding of Moria by Durin the Deathless, Thorin is glad he is alive. What on earth is he talking about.
"You would have smacked me for how I acted after… After I was told you were dead. After I was told my heirs, my nephews might die because I succumbed to the same thing my Grandfather did. That I became no better than a dragon."
Bilbo does not feel like grabbing Thorin's hands at that he doesn't. He doesn't even glance up from the corner of his eyes.
"The Elves… They told me that you were alive but Nori, Dwalin, they were lead to a body that was claimed to be yours and I would believe them before I believed Elves."
"You're Mark," his voice speaks again without him wanting it to. It's scratchy and low and hurt and he hates it.
"Dwarrow Marks do not fade. They are like up Bilbo. Made to withstand, to endure, to be stubborn. I… do not… No it does not matter. I… I have wronged you and it hurts to say that… And not just my pride but…"
Bilbo looks up, worried by the sudden silence.
"I banished you Bilbo. My One, my love, the one I should have treasured above all. Yet I bruised you tossed you aside. I may have been… sick but that does not change the fact I hurt you. All over a stone." Thorin spits the word 'stone' like it personally insults him.
"I've lived seven years believing that I killed you, you would not have been fighting if I had not gotten you into the adventure. I had seven years feeling completely alone… I… I do not know what you have had to deal with… but I would like to be able to hear. To be able to earn your forgiveness and love once more."
You already have it you stupid Dwarf. The moment I was safely on the ground I forgave you! Bilbo screams in his mind and when he wants his vocal cords to work they refuse. Slowly Thorin's hand reaches out a hand to cup his face.
"I have missed you and I will let you get back to reading."
And Thorin leaves. Once the heavy steps of Thorin leaves his hearing he breaks down crying silently. He's tired and full of information he wasn't ready for. His boys and Estel surround him and he dimly wonders why Erestor is calling them back their lesson isn't over yet until he feels Erestor's hands on his shoulders. He reveals in the touch, he feels broken and oh so tired of his emotions being twisted around. It's like his biggest dream has come true. Thorin is back, truely alive and the boys are fine. Thorin apologized to him, wants to rekindle what they had. Soothing Sindarin words are whispered in his ears and the children try to get his thoughts off the turbulent ones swirling about. He still loves the Dwarf, has in a way forgiven him but at the same time he fears the falling of the other hammer onto his almost broken anvil.