So this is kind of an angsty chapter, but you'll like it in the end. :D At least, I hope so.

As usual, thank you for reading. I really appreciate it and your feedback- just love to see that my work isn't going to waste. :)

James' POV

I woke up to the sound of someone banging on my door. I groaned and got up, hoping it wasn't the apartment keeper asking where my rent was, because I might have to ask Mom for a little financial help if it is. Of course, rent wasn't due until Friday, and that's when I was to get paid.

But damn, it was like 5 AM.

"JAMES DIAMOND!"

I knew who it was no. My "beloved" fiancé. I sighed, suddenly wishing it was the apartment keeper, and unlocked the door, standing back as it flung open.

"Hello, dear," I said with a snide smirk.

"Who was in my car?" Mercedes snapped, bursting in and looking around, like she was searching for a bunch of whores in my bathroom or something. She's always suspicious that I'm cheating with other girls… Maybe she should be. If only she knew that it's not girls she should be looking out for.

"Just me."

"That's a lie," she snapped, turning to me with fiery eyes. I cocked a brow at her as she pointed a manicured finger at me. "There's a butt print in the passenger seat."

"Oh- well, that's my friend's butt print," I said

"Did I say you could have a friend in my car?"

"No, but I assumed that as long as I brought it back in one piece-"

"James, you lied to me," Mercedes cut in. "You said it was just you in the car."

"For God's sake, Mercedes, it's like 5 AM. You can't blame me for this," I retorted. "What are you even doing up so early?"

"My friends and I are going wedding dress shopping," Mercedes said. "Wanna come?"

I couldn't believe how fast she could change emotions, but she was good at it.

"It's not good for the groom to see the bride in her dress," I grumbled, turning back to my room.

"Well I'll be back at around noon to get you for cake tasting and some other wedding stuff," Mercedes said following me.

"I'll be working," I said, ignoring the fact that my dearest fiancé would be shopping for six straight hours, probably buying at least three wedding dresses for no reason.

"Which is more important?" she asked, and I turned to her, wanting nothing more than to tell her that work meant more to me. Instead, I sighed and sat on my bed.

"Should I get you at the beach?" she asked- I was surprised that she was being considerate of me for once and offering to be nice.

I was about to say yes, but then I remembered Logan. Logan would be there, because I asked him to come see me. He was already suspicious about Mercedes and I, I couldn't have him seeing her picking me up from work.

"No- I'll meet you at the parking lot."

"Okay," she smiled sweetly before bending and kissing me right on the lips. As soon as she turned, my face was scrunched up and I was trying to wipe the lip gloss from my mouth.

"I love you," she sang. When I didn't say it back, she stopped at the door and looked at me expectantly. "Jamie. I said I love you."

"You, too, Mercedes," I said, making her smile and leave.

I didn't kiss Mercedes much, or tell her that I love her, but occasionally I had to keep up the act. And sometimes she just forced it on me, like just then.

My mind flashed to the kiss I shared with Logan the previous night. That kiss was completely consensual, his lips warm and soft on mine. My heart swelled at the thought as crawled back beneath the blankets, knowing that I would likely get another kiss like that today. Or a few.

Logan's POV

It was about 11:45 when I finally showed up at the beach, watching Carlos give a lesson in the water as I rounded the corner to the window of the surf shop.

I leaned against the counter, James faced away, his face scrunched in confusion as he punched numbers into a calculator and wrote them on a clipboard.

"Hey," I said cheerfully, making him jump and look over at me. I giggled and he followed suit, immediately abandoning his calculator and clipboard and lean on the counter across from me.

"I've been waiting," he smiled.

"Kendall wanted to go get lunch," I shrugged.

"You didn't bring me any?" James pouted jokingly, yet that puffed-out bottom lip almost mesmerized me before melting into a grin.

"Are you hungry? I can get you something," I offered.

"I'm fine- but you almost missed me… I'm leaving in a few."

"Leaving?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah. I have some business to take care of," James said simply, obviously not telling me something. I figured it was probably family business or something, so I didn't pry. Part of me was very suspicious about his choice of words, though.

"So who's watching the stand?" I asked.

"There's another guy that works at another stand that's gonna come for some extra hours."

I nodded, just looking at him. He smiled and little and leaned in to kiss me, sending every one of my nerves aflame. It was a longer kiss this time, and lingered for a few seconds before he pulled away and smirked at me.

"You don't get kissed much, do you?" he asked.

"Is it that obvious?"

James giggled, his eyes wondering behind me, his smile fading as he stood straight. Someone stood beside me, leaning identically to me.

"Are you ready?" the blonde girl asked, her voice screechy and unpleasant.

"Um… Yeah," James said, avoiding both of our eyes as he turned away to get his things.

"Hi," I smiled, trying to be friendly though I had no idea who this girl was. Maybe his sister- she was pretty like him. He had never mentioned a sister, though. Maybe a friend. I reached out my hand to her to shake. "I'm Logan."

"Whatever," she said, not even looking at me. My hand dropped and I stood straight as James exited the surf shop and approached us.

"I'll see you," James said, his hazel eyes flicking to mine before they dropped quickly.

"Um… Yeah," I said, almost offended.

For the first time, the girl looked at me, and her whole demeanor changed.

"Jamie," she said, cheerfully now. "Introduce us!"

James seemed to go pale, his eyes on the sand. What was going on?

"This is Logan," he said carefully, looking over at her. What, so I didn't get to know who she was? This time her hand grabbed mine and shook.

"I'm Mercedes," she said.

My heart must have stopped then, and suddenly I felt like crawling in a hole and dying.

"Logan-" James tried, but now it was my turn to not look him in the eye.

"It was so nice to meet you," she said with a flirty wink. "C'mon, Jamie, we have things to do."

"I'll catch up," James said.

"You better hurry," she said, voice going bossy. "We have an appointment."

The woman walked off, and James grabbed for both of my hands.

"Logan-" he said softly, but I pulled my hands from his.

Appointment? They had an appointment? Was she pregnant? Were they doing relationship counseling?

"You don't understand," he said sternly. For the first time I looked up at him.

"Then explain."

"We're going to get a cake," he said, his eyes serious on mine.

What kind of cake? A baby shower cake? A wedding cake?

"For my mom's birthday," James said, his eyes solid on mine. "We're shopping for a big fancy party, and I figured who better to shop for fancy things than Mercedes?"

"Are you still seeing her?" I asked.

"Not if I can help it," James smiled a little, his eyes dancing and pleading for me to forgive him.

I smiled a little too, feeling a little better about the situation.

"Let's do something tonight," he said. "Anything you want."

"Okay," I smiled.

"Okay. I have to go, but text me when you figure it out," he said before pecking my cheek and jogging off.

I watched him disappear into the parking lot of the beach, a feeling of doom settled over me.

James' POV

I can't tell you how guilty I was feeling after leaving Logan there at the surf shop.

I had lied to his face. I looked into those trusting chocolate eyes and lied.

I knew that I fucked up and I didn't know how to fix it. I wanted Logan- forever. I wanted to be with him and marry him and have a family with him. Is it too soon to know that? I've only know him for a few days… But we fit together so easily.

But I knew that could never happen. I had to marry Mercedes- for the greater good of everyone.

But that meant forgetting about Logan, and I couldn't do that.

I couldn't have happiness and my mother's love and approval, it seemed. I had to eventually choose.

Be with Logan and be happy or be with Mercedes and have my mother still love me and keep everyone else happy.

Though the thought of having Logan forever seemed like the obvious way to go, Mom was all I had. If I broke this engagement with Mercedes and told Mom that I was gay, Mom would disown me for sure. I was just like a little boy searching for Mommy's approval, I guess.

But I've always thought about living happily ever after, in love with the person I was married to, lived with, and had children with. Of course in the earlier years that someone was a beautiful woman. But now I can't imagine myself being fully happy with a woman. Really, I couldn't imagine having that with anyone but Logan now. The Beatles say the "love is all you need", but I think they're wrong. I personally need my mother. She's all I have in this world, and though her love doesn't seem unconditional, I've been sort of clinging to it my whole life.

I didn't know how I could ever choose, but I knew I needed to very soon.

"Jamie," Mercedes demanded, having obviously been trying for my attention for a while. I snapped out of my trance and looked up into her angry eyes from across the cake-tasting table. "We're getting red velvet."

She knew I hated red velvet cake.

"Is that okay?" she asked, though her eyes told me that I better say yes.

"I can't do this," I said, getting up from my seat.

"What do you mean you can't?" she asked incredulously. "Get back here!"

"I need air," I snapped, not even pushing my chair back into the table before running off.

I almost felt like I was going to cry as I sat on the dirty sidewalk outside of the cake shop.

My phone buzzed, and I expected it to be Mercedes demanding I get back inside.

Instead, it was Logan.

How about Muir Woods as soon as you can?

I grinned, my anger simmering down a little.

Sounds good, I replied.

Logan gave an adorable grin as soon as he opened the door, making me have to smile, too, all my worries somehow melting in his presence.

In the background, I watched Kendall cock and angry brow at me, his arms crossed.

So they talked about what happened this afternoon at the beach… I guess Kendall is smarter than I give him credit for. I wonder if he convinced Logan that I'm with Mercedes still, because he sure seems to think so himself.

We drove in Carlos' jeep as we talked about how shopping went. I told him we decided on a cake, napkins, tables, and chairs- which wasn't a lie at all.

Then we arrived at the park, which I had never been to before, but was beautiful.

"These trees are… Huge," I laughed as we walked along the given dirt path through the woods, railing keeping visitors from wondering. The trees were probably big enough to drive a car through and tall enough to reach the sky, which I thought was remarkable.

"It's beautiful," Logan smiled, looking up at the treetops. "This is why I wanted to come."

The amount of wonder and happiness in his eyes made him look so young… Like a kid. That made me wonder just how old he really is.

We held hands as we walked along the dusty path, talking and looking at the huge trees and beautiful view.

"What were you like in high school?" Logan asked, pulling me to the railing and leaning on it, looking down at the forest floor below.

"High school," I said thoughtfully. "A tool, I think."

His dark eyes turned to me quizzically. It was times like this that he seemed to be about 25 years old, yet I knew he wasn't even legal to drink yet… I could also see him being about 16, but his occasional childlike wonder, playfulness, innocence, and desperateness for protection. Please, God, just don't let him be 16. My final guess, by the way, is 19 years old. A good, legal number.

"I was a hockey star," I smirked. "Well, in Minnesota I was. Then I moved here and was a football star. Had a lot of sex, kissed a lot of girls, hurt a lot of feelings."

"Oh," he said, brows knitted. "I know the type."

"I mean, obviously I've changed. Got some morals and values," I shrugged and he nodded understandingly. "What about you? How were you in high school? You are out of high school right?"

"Of course," he grinned.

"I was the type that past-you would drive to suicide," he said softly, his smile and eyes dropping slowly. "Nerdy, always had my nose in a book. 4.0 GPA."

"Impressive. Any friends besides Kendall?"

"Oh yeah," he chuckled. "I was manager of the hockey team, so the hockey guys were nice enough to me- invited me to parties. That's mostly because Kendall told them to, I think. I had buddies in a lot of classes, too. Just none I really wanna get back with now."

"So why the hell did your parents let you come here alone with Kendall?" I smirked.

"I'm trustworthy," Logan said in mock pride. "They figured I wouldn't let Kendall get into trouble- haha, right? And we've been saving for years for a graduation trip. And not parents. Just Mom."

"Just Mom?" I repeated. Another thing we had in common.

"Yeah. Dad's gone."

"Gone?"

"He was gay. Mom says he didn't think he knew it until I was about five. I guess he didn't want to be gay, so he killed himself," he shrugged casually.

"Oh my gosh… I'm sorry I asked…"

"It's fine. I was a kid- didn't know what was going on. I remember him a little. He was manly- didn't seem gay, and he doesn't in pictures, either," Logan shrugged. "It's not like it's painful to talk about. Never has been."

I was silent, not knowing what to say.

"I think that's partly why Mom's so supportive of me being gay. It took a lot for me to realize and admit it, and she saw that it really scared me. I think she just didn't want me to go the same way my dad did," Logan said, looking over at me. "I think she likes that she'll be the only woman in my life. Unless I have a daughter one day."

"What's she like?" I asked, ignoring the ache in my heart knowing that I could never have that openness with my own mom.

"She's great," Logan smiled. "Supports my sexuality, likes Kendall, supports all my decisions in life, and knows all of my secrets. Most of them, I guess."

"Most?" I giggled. "What doesn't she know?"

"Well it's hard to tell your mom about your first erection," he blushed. "Or about wet dreams."

"I can't believe I just heard you say those things," I smirked, nudging him with my shoulder. "Are you about to explode with embarrassment?"

"Surprisingly, not as much as normal. It's so easy with you. You're not judging, you're just listening. And you know what I'm talking about- you relate."

I smiled and his eyes locked with mine. I knew then that I couldn't let him go. I had to figure out my shit and spare him the pain as best I could. Ideally that meant being with him and calling off the wedding with Mercedes. I just wasn't sure if I could do that.

He leaned in and kissed me, surprising me. The times we had kissed, it was me who initiated it. I liked Logan taking control, though, and he pulled back after a second with a big grin as he hugged me.

I knew this boy had never been so happy in his life, and I loved to be able to give that to him.

"What about your mom?" he asked, releasing me to sit on the railing, his fingers tight on the wood as not to fall.

"Kinda the same as you," I said, standing before him and wrapping my arms around his waste to make him feel more secure. "We're really close- I'm all she has, you know? We were closer when I was a kid, but when I told her I didn't need her money was kind of a weird spot for us. We talk a lot and I go to her house sometimes for dinner, but Mercedes always goes, too, because Mom loves her." I watched Logan's eyes drop at the mention of Mercedes, but his hands came up my chest, straightening my shirt. "It's just the gay thing… I know she's my mom and she should know… But she's really homophobic. I know she'll hate me."

"She can't hate you," Logan said reasonably. "You said it yourself- you're all she has. You should talk to her about it. She might be mad at first, but eventually she'll come around."

His words comforted me as his arms wrapped loosely around my neck. I hoped he was right.

Logan's POV

My heart was swollen as James kissed me goodnight in front of the hotel room door. His big hands touched my waist as he reinitialized the kiss, a deeper one now. My hands ran up his hard chest and into his hair, and suddenly he was pinned against the door.

Wait, how did that happen? I don't even remember pushing him...

But my body was pressed against his, his hands now gripping my hips as his tongue entered my mouth.

It felt like only a few seconds, but really in must have been five minutes before my mouth was on his neck, his scent making my knees weak. My hands fell to his chest and now his were in my hair, obviously loving it.

I don't think I've ever wanted to have sex with someone. But right now, with only a few minutes of making out, I was all James'. He could do what he wanted to me and I would love it.

He gasped in surprise and giggled, making me pull away and look at him.

"A hickey? You'll get yourself in trouble," James smirked, standing up again, his hand holding his neck where I guess I previously sucked, yet I don't remember. Okay, so I guess we were done making out... "More likely, you'll get me in trouble."

"Don't go," I pleaded.

"I'll be at the beach like usual. I don't have to work, so come down whenever. I have a plan."

"A plan?"

"You'll see. It's a surprise," James grinned, kissing me once more before he started to walk away. "See you then."