Cruel World

Lana Del Rey

Chapter 4

The beautiful melody of the children echoed in the church. Their light voices solidified the faith Michonne was beginning to feel again. It was a sign that Daryl was sent to help her heal. She wasn't one of those over religious people who was closed minded. She didn't believe in shoving her beliefs down others throats if they disagreed. Yet this church and the members helped her rediscover herself.

"We make a great team." Daryl counted their profit for today. Another success that would add to their building fund.

"Yeah we do." Michonne watched him lock the money in the safe. "I'm glad you helped me see that."

"I'm glad yah finally listened to meh."

"So how did you end up here helping this church? I mean I ended up here searching for community service hours to join my sorority. But once I got here, I couldn't leave."

Michonne thought it would be difficult to learn with another man. To grow with another person. Technically, she did not grow with Mike. She was only in love with how he used to be in high school. Sweet. Dependable. The man he grew into was unrecognizable.

" I work on many of the members' cars here. They were so grateful for my service that they brought me home cooked dinners. After that, I started coming to a couple of services when I wasn't working on Sundays. Then I decided to volunteer on Saturdays to keep my mind busy."

"Busy from what?" He smirked at her curiosity.

"From doubting myself. Growing up I was scared I was never gonna be something. Volunteering gave me a purpose." Daryl noticed her nervous habits.

There was this dark cloud that hovered over her. He couldn't keep ignoring the elephant in the room.

"What all did Mike do to you?" Michonne's mouth dropped at his directness.

Daryl didn't mean to make her cringe. He knew her sharp tongue was about to strike, but he could handle that.

"Daryl." She only said his name. The impulse to lash out was strong, but Daryl didn't mean to pry. "

"I. I. I. don't want to talk about that. Not now." She shrugged.

"I ain't gonna push yah Michonne. I just don't want to pay for his mistakes. Yer still nervous to talk to meh. Even after what just happened between us. Yer second guessing yerself." Michonne could not be mad at the truth.

"Its hard not to with my personality. I don't want to mess this up." He listened to her words.

"Michonne. This is new to meh too. I sure as heck don't know the right things to say or do, but we'll learn together." He assured her.

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Andrea stared in envy and sadness at Maggie and Glenn. Kissing. Cuddling. You would not think they were at their greek volunteer car wash. Or that other students were waiting to get their cars serviced. She felt a tinge in her heart at the sight of girls flirting with Rick. She hoped Michonne was having luck with Daryl than she.

Would she ever be that happy in a relationship again? Would Rick ever want to be with her in that way? She knew he did, but once she gave him the chance she knew he would run. Why would a man want a woman who constantly settled? She tarnished her value with Phil. But today would be the day where she would not focus on her mistakes. She would focus on being a good friend to Rick.

Apparently another girl had the same idea. Lori Carter. The gorgeous brunette was aspiring to be the perfect housewife. They had crossed paths at different parties. Conversations were exchanged between the two. Rick would take the bait because he was a single man. She could handle it after all. It was her turn to feel the pain he once felt.

"So Rick? How come me and you never hung out?" Lori touched Rick's shoulder. As usual, Andrea was eavesdropping. Another woman's loss was another's gain.

Rick would be lying if he said Lori wasn't his type. Gorgeous eyes. Great conversation. A beautiful smile. Daryl was right. It was time for him to explore other girls. He couldn't be trapped by Andrea anymore.

"I guess you never asked me." He wiped off her windshield.

"I'm asking now though." She batted her eyes.

"What did you have in mind?" Rick smiled.

"Dinner. Movie tonight." She placed her number in his phone. She was marveling in Andrea's jealousy.

"Sounds like a date." Rick opened the car door for her. "See you at 7."

"You too Grimes." She kissed his cheek.

Andrea watched her drive off. Rick had never smiled so brightly before. She would celebrate this victory with him.

"Kudos Mr. Grimes. She's definitely into you." Rick saw through her bright smile. Guilt gripped his heart.

"Yeah. You going to be ok?" He asked.

"Why wouldn't I be ok with that Rick Grimes dating a hot girl?" She should have told him right then. But her pride was too strong to fight.

"I'm just saying." He paused. "With what you went through with Phil. I know seeing couples or anything close to that is hard for you." Was it wrong that he wanted her to be somewhat jealous?

"Rick why wouldn't I want you to be happy? You are the best man I know." She hugged him tightly.

This would be their last hug before everything changed. She now had boundaries. After this date, she couldn't call him on a whim or barge into his apartment. She had to give Lori some peace of mind.

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Rosita felt Michonne's intimidating eyes on her. This was between her and Andrea. Everyone else needed to mind their business and keep their opinions to themselves. Sitting in the church pew with other parents, she smiled at the sight of her nine-year old cousin. Jackie was simply beautiful. The little girl waved adamantly to her role model.

"She definitely needs Jesus or some moral compass." Michonne whispered to Daryl.

"Don't worry about her." Daryl pulled her into the back room to prevent confrontation.

Rosita heard her words. Michonne and Andrea carried the same aura of entitlement. She would put that in the back of her mind. Right now Jackie deserved her full attention. She didn't understand why Phil wanted to wait in the car. Choir practice would be over in 10 minutes.

She had to admit Abraham was doing a wonderful job directing the children. She would have never guessed a man with his stature loved kids. He was the quintessential military man. Direct. Any man who took on this task was also trustworthy and reliable.

"Mr. Abraham." Jackie squealed. "Come meet my cousin." She pulled the muscular man behind her.

Rosita laughed at the sight. It was while since she smiled a genuine smile.

"Rosi. Did you like us? Mr. Abe said that if I'm really good, I can have a solo soon." Jackie held his hand. He was the perfect father figure to her.

Abraham tried to speak, but words weren't processing. This woman was absolutely stunning. Her dark hair and eyes. Flawless tan skin. He had to pull himself together.

"That's amazing Jacks." She hugged her. This was the first time a man had looked at her without lust in their eyes. His eyes displayed wonder. It was like she was rare sculpture or painting.

"Mr. Abe why are staring at Rosita like that." Jackie's innocence made him blush. It was like he'd never seen an attractive woman before.

"Sorry. Yah look familiar is all." He rubbed the back of his head.

"It's alright. I think when I was a freshman, You were a senior. I remember your face too." She extended her hand. "Rosita Espinosa."

"Abraham Ford." He let his hand linger inside of hers longer than needed.

"Jackie thinks the world of you. You have no idea what spending time means to me and her mother."

"She thinks the world of you too." She frowned at the statement. "She wants to be you when she grows up." Even she didn't want to be herself now.

"I don't think that would be a good choice." She folded her lips.

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Michonne shook her head at her absent-mindness. She left her phone in the car countless of times. It wasn't like many people called besides her parents, Rick and Andrea. Now she could add Daryl to that list.

Her smile immediately turned into a frown when she saw Phil waiting in his car for Rosita. They were a match made in hell. Not that Rosita was evil. She was just a girl who fell in love with the wrong man. Phil preyed on naïve girls and turned them. If Andrea could figure it out, she would eventually too.

Phil darted his eyes at the sight of Michonne. Who the hell was she to poke her nose in his business? Because of her Andrea wanted nothing to do with him. She wasn't going to get away from him. Unlike other men, he wasn't afraid of her sharp tongue or lethal eyes. She was his purpose for coming with Rosita…..

"If it isn't Michonne. The girl no man wants." He slammed his car door.

"Go to hell Phil." She stared him in the eye.

"Isn't it a sin to curse on church ground." He patronized.

"I think in this case, God will give me a pass." She folded his arms. "Don't you have a younger skirt to run behind. She in their talking to Abraham. You know Rosita loves male attention." She gestured him go away.

"Rosita isn't leaving me for anyone." Phil assured. "But can you say the same thing for yourself. Who is trying to get to know you? O yeah that's right. No one. Is that why you sent Andrea that video?" His loud voice was heard by Daryl in the back of the church.

"Wait. You are trying to blame me for you and her break-up. You were the one who decided to sleep with other girls. She didn't make you." Michonne had to remember she was at church. She had other choice words she could not use.

"Shut up Michonne. You two weren't even hanging out when we dated. You were just jealous. You were so wrapped up in your misery you didn't want her to be happy."

The two did not see Daryl come from the back door. He decided not to intervene. Michonne was handling the situation well.

"Are you this twisted?" Michonne's voice rose. "Happiness in a relationship does not mean the other person loses. You had no respect for Andrea. Nor do you have it for Rosita. How can you be with one girl and talk about another?"

"You should be used to it. That was what Mike did to you." He hit an obvious nerve.

"You don't know anything about what happened between me and Mike." She made sure space was between them. Her anger was beginning to scare her.

"I don't need to know much. He got sick of the hardened mute. That is what happened. You stay the hell out of my relationships." He began to walk closer to her.

Phil had to prove his point to her. He was not someone to take lightly.

"You know what you are trying to deflect all of your blame and responsibility. Its what cowards do. You aren't a real man. I'm tired of having this conversation." She faced him with her stone cold eyes.

"You aren't going anywhere." Phil gripped her wrist.

Digging his nails into her skin she yelped. But before she could react, she witnessed Daryl's fist against Phil's face. The powerful impact knocked him on the ground. No one would ever touch her like that.

"Yah alright?" Daryl rubbed her arms. "Go back inside. Get Abe."

"You messed with tha wrong girl. Don't yah ever touch her or talk to her or Andrea again." Phil guarded his mouth. Daryl stood over him with his fists folded. He had to learn a lesson about respecting woman.

"Phil." Rosita helped him up. "What did you do?" she accused the two.

Abe was not expecting to see this when he came outside. Fights happened at bars, dorm rooms, Walmart. But not the church.

"I think you should ask what he did to me? He assaulted me." Michonne couldn't understand how Rosita didn't see the truth.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you. I was trying to talk you. Tell you there were no hard feelings." Phil changed his whole demeanor.

"Rosita do you really believe this load of crap?" Daryl asked. "If you do, then you deserve him." He grew angrier at the sight of Michonne rubbing her wrists.

"They are lying Rosi." Phil used his charm. "This girl has hated you for months. Why would she tell you the truth?" He rubbed her cheek.

"Rosita look what he did to me." Michonne showed her wrist as Daryl and Abraham tempers flared. Good thing they told Jackie to stay inside. She didn't needed to see this.

"This is the dark side of Phil. Do you want Jackie to be around that?" Michonne pleaded with the girl.

Rosita didn't know who to believe. But she recognized that desperate, hurt look in Michonne's eyes.

"Phil, get off the property now." Abraham pulled Rosita behind him. "I don't want to see you here again. If you can't stay away we are pressing charges and filing a restraining order. That's gonna put a damper in your career. We have pictures and witnesses."

"Whatever. Rosi, I'll be at the apartment." Phil felt the soreness in his jaw, but he didn't give up that easily. The four of them watched him drive off. Only three were relieved. They still couldn't understand how Rosita let him believe that she was his property.

"Let's get yah home." Daryl took Michonne's car keys.

Daryl could care less about Rosita. All that mattered was Michonne. The whole day he was proving that she didn't need to be afraid of men. Now Phil took away that security. He should have punched him harder. Though his knuckle was red, he couldn't feel the pain. Phil would though.

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Rosita punched Abraham in the chest. She was tired of people thinking she was too weak to handle herself. This man had no right to take control of her like that. She was not a doll.

"You had no right to pull me away from Phil like that. I am capable of making my own choices." Abraham now understood. Jackie had no idea how insecure and weak her big cousin was.

Why were the good guys reprimanded for doing the right thing?

"To bad you were going to let your little cousin around the man who hurt Michonne. Do you really want Jackie to see that? "

"You aren't some saint. You just did it so I could be in your debt. Just another man trying to get into my pants." She spat back.

"Maybe if you would get some damn self-esteem you could see that not every man wants to hurt you. Some men want to restore. Some men actually….."

"Is that what the bible says…."Rosita's tongue was feistier than Michonne's.

"You ungrateful broad." Abraham said. "Men like Phil evolve into women beaters. Men who get upset like that. Is good sex all it takes to keep you?" She gasped at his question.

"Shut up." She yelled him. Tears in her eyes.

"Can't handle the truth. I don't even know you, or Phil but I already know what relationship you two have. He cheats on you left and right. Makes you think you needs him when you don't. always lying and you take it. He is just like my father." Abe exclaimed. He couldn't help but get caught up in this situation.

Rosita would have never guessed he went through that. How did he escape?

"This makes me stupid for loving a man who can't change. For believing he would." She wiped her eyes.

"no that makes him stupid for taking advantage of you." Abe lowered his voice.

"How are so?"

"Blunt…." He completed her sentence.

"no….wise." she asked.

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Michonne held herself as Daryl drove her home. Daryl saved her and Phil tonight. If he hadn't have come when he did, who knows what kind of fight would have eru/pted. Who knows what she would have picked up off the ground to get him off of her She saw Daryl's lips move, but did not hear him. All could see were Phil's red eyes. Red like her wrist.

Her traumatized eyes and silence almost made him head for Phil's apartment. He would have waited for hours to finish what he started. But he had to look after Michonne. How was he going to tell this to Rick and Andrea?

"Daryl. I can take care of myself.". Placing the ice in a ziplock bag, Daryl ignored her.. "Really. It wasn't that bad."

"Michonne. He hurt yah. No man ever has the right to hurt a woman like that." He gently placed the ice over her wrist. She hissed in discomfort as he sat her on the couch.

Michonne didn't understand how she was hurt by one man, then taken care of by another. Her eyes glowed in tenderness as he inspected her wound.

"Does it feel sprained?" He asked.

"No." She simply said. "I don't know how I could ever repay you for this."

"Yah don't have to thank meh for doing something I was supposed to do." Daryl gently moved her hair behind her ears. "I know yah could have handled yerself but guys like Phil need to be reminded of their places."

"The way we fought. It reminded me of a couple of fights me and Mike used to have. He had never hit me, but at times I felt the emotional abuse. And I turned the blind eye. I gave the excuse that he was angry. It was my fear of being alone." She avoided his eyes.

"Michonne, stop blaming yerself. I know how loneliness feels. I get it."

"Its just that Andrea and Rick expect me to be the strong one. I have to be strong for them, but who can be my strength? Daryl I am not as strong as I appear. At times, I'm barely just holding on." She shook.

"Then let go while I'm here." She shuttered in his arms. Her arms wrapped around his waist as he cradled her delicate form.

It wasn't fair that Phil felt no remorse for his actions. The way he played Michonne, Rosita and Andrea against each other. He was left picking up the pieces. He rubbed her back at the occasional sniffle.

It was odd how now she was ready to talk about Mike. With Daryl there to protect her, she felt as if the memory of him could not hurt her.

"I have to tell you something Daryl."

"Yah don't. Not after what you went through."

"No I do. I owe you this. When Mike left. I thought I was pregnant. I was throwing up, had bad cases of insomnia, plus I missed my period." She gripped his shirt tighter. "Of course, I wasn't. I was just stressed out. But I found myself wanting to have a child."

"Nothing wrong with wanting a child 'Chonne."

"but it was for the wrong reasons. I wanted a baby because I wanted someone to love me unconditionally. I wanted someone to depend on me for once." His silence startled her.

"Michonne. I." He held her tighter. He hoped he said the right thing she needed to hear.

"You don't have to say anything. I never told Andrea that. Please don't tell her. Not even Rick."

"I won't." He kissed her forehead.

"Please don't leave me."

"I won't."

Daryl laid with her on the couch. Whispering words of comfort to her. His soothing voice relaxed her. It was enough to give her the peace she needed. For once, she wasn't afraid to let go of her burdens. For once, she was not afraid to be vulnerable. Closing her eyes, she prayed that Daryl would stay at her side.