World 3-4: Saving Tippi

Fort Francis (Super Paper Mario)

They landed on top of the fort. "Alright, let's go save Tippi." Mario said as they nodded and walked inside.

"Okay, the first thing we need to do is loca-" Link spotted a sign. "Huh?" He looked at it.

"Totally not a really cool thing in here!" The sign read.

"Wow, does he even try?" Samus asked as they walked in the room.

"Hey! Hey!" A voice exclaimed as they spotted a pixl trapped in a cell. "Could you get me out of here?"

"Wow, the Pixls just keep piling on." Thoreau said. "Not like it's a BAD thing or anything."

Sora aimed his Keyblade at the lock and fired a beam of light at it, destroying the lock. "FREEDOM!" The pixl exclaimed.

Strange Company (Super Paper Mario)

"Oh I am FREE! I am SO out of here!"

"Question, what's your name?" Boomer asked.

"I'm Carrie! Nice to meet you!" She smiled. "I think I'll hang around with you! You guys are the best!"

"Alright, now we need to get Tippi and defeat Francis..." Link said. "It shouldn't be that easy, right?"

Fort Francis

Link was wrong, there were signs saying "This way to Francis' super awesome otaku room!" He sweatdropped. "I stand corrected."

"Wow, I wonder if he gets lost without these." Sora said.

"If he does, then I wouldn't blame him for putting signs up like this." Samus said. "If he intentionally did this so people could visit him...then he's an idiot."

"I'm with you on that." Bowser said. "Not even I would do something like tha-" He spotted a sign.

"Hot babes can only visit my room!"

"Uh..." Bowser blinked. "Okay then."

"Wow...he needs a life." Kairi said as they eventually came across a huge door. There was a sign on it.

"Only Francis or totally hot babes can enter this room." The sign read.

"A totally hot chick, huh?" Bowser wondered. "Hmm..."

"I think we know who's hot." Peach said, glancing at Samus.

"Me?" Samus blinked through her armor. "Nuh-uh...I am NOT going to go meet some nerdy chameleon for crying out loud.

"Oh come on." Link said. "Peach, Kairi and Lightning are cute...but you? You my friend, are something else."

Samus growled. "Forget it. Send in someone else."

"Please? For us?" Peach looked at her.

"Nope."

"Pretty please?" Peach asked, looking at her with sad puppy dog eyes.

Samus sighed. "Very well then..." She said as she took off her armor.

"Holy..." Sora jawdropped.

"Dang..." Kairi said, a little envious of that skin tight zero suit of hers.

Samus looked at the doors. "If this thing goes south...I am going to kill all of you." She muttered and looked at the keyholes. "Um..."

"We got it." Sora said as he and Kairi unlocked the doors with their Keyblades.

"Meow! Intruder detected." The door said.

"Oh no..." Link said, holding his breath.

"Scanning." It said as it scanned Samus. "Totally hot babe detected. You may enter."

Samus entered as Link sighed. "Man, I didn't know if that was gonna work."

Samus looked at Francis, then glancing at Tippi. So that must be Tippi... She thought. "Hey, you."

"Yes?" Francis asked. "I'm a little busy working on my masterpiece." He said.

You can't be serious... Tippi thought.

"Turn around."

"Nope."

"Turn around...NOW." Samus ordered.

"Oh alright." Francis muttered. "You sure are fei-" He turned around. "S-S-S-SWEET LORD!" He yelled. "T-T-T-TOTALLY HOT BABE!"

Samus clenched her fists. Whatever you do...don't act perverted. Samus thought.

"O-O-OH CRAP! HOW DO I EVEN TALK TO A GIRL LIKE YOU WITH THAT SKIN TIGHT SUIT LIKE THAT?!"

"Excuse me?"

Francis snapped his fingers. "Oh, I know!" He exclaimed as he hopped on his computer and...let's just say he took Samus into some sort of dating sim.

Dearly Beloved (Kingdom Hearts)

"Wait, huh?" Samus looked around. "What's going on around here?"

"Sooo...how are you this fine day, you cutie?" Francis asked.

"Well um...weirded out, I guess?"

"Oh ho! It's totally fine to be that. After all, I never met a hot babe like you."

"You think I'm hot?" Totally not surprised...everyone at the Smash Mansion was staring at me...

"Mhm! And I know just the thing to give you!" Francis smiled as he just gave her some chocolates and flowers.

"Oh...uh..." Samus blinked. "Thanks...I guess." She said.

"Do you like it?"

"...I hate chocolate and I'm not really into flowers. I'm not your average girly girl."

"You don't like chocolate?! But girls love their chocolate!"

"Ugh, forget it." Samus said as she gave them back.

Hmm...interesting... Francis thought as he was scanning through until he saw a good question. "So! What's your favorite anime?"

"Anime?" Samus asked. "You mean those Japanese cartoons that I keep hearing about whenever I was in the Smash Mansion?" She asked.

"Technically, they're not cartoons."

"Okay..." Samus said. "Um...i'm not into anime. Those are for nerds who need a life."

"Whoa!" Francis exclaimed. This girl is something else! He thought. "Alrighty then...so um...what's your favorite hobby?"

"When I'm not out bounty hunting, I usually just run until I can run no more."

"You're a bounty hunter?"

"Yes."

"Nice." Oh, she totally beats that treasure hunting Lara Croft by a LONG shot! He thought. Bounty hunters are my thing! "So...what do you like most about guys?"

Samus blinked. I...never really thought about that. "Um...I don't usually like guys at all. I hang out with them and have a good time, but...i'm not into any relationships."

"I see, I see..." Francis said. She probably met a lot of weirdos...lucky for me; I'm not one of those weirdos. "So, what do you think when you look at me?"

"...When I look at you, it makes me want to puke. I mean, you are a NERD for crying out loud and quite honestly, you need to get a life. I am so sick and tired of guys who take one look at my skin tight suit and wishing to ask me out. They don't even know me. You don't even know me, so just...UGH, you're just the most nerdiest and weirdest guy I've ever met!"

Sweet momma...She's one of those types! Me likey! He thought. "So...you ever thought of marriage?"

"Marriage?" Samus' eye twitched. "Okay, we're done here." She said as she took out her plasma whip and took a hold of the computer.

"H-hey!"

"You my friend, need to get a FREAKING LIFE!" She yelled as she pulled the computer away from him as she threw it to the ground and stepped on it several times. Those jet boots of hers did mighty damage.

"NOOOOOOO!" Francis screamed as the others broke in. "You...YOU! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

"She broke your toy." Bowser smirked.

Francis growled under his breath. "You know what? Who needs hot chicks when I have the most gorgeous thing right here?" He asked, motioning over to Tippi.

"...You're kidding, right?" Tippi asked.

"We're gonna rescue her and get the heck out of here." Sora said.

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Francis smirked as Samus summoned her up her armor.

Rowdy Rumble (Kingdom Hearts II)

Francis immediately went invisible. "Okay, where is he?" Bowser asked as Samus had her Echo visor out.

"He's right next to us, specifically, Duck Hunt." Samus said as Duck Hunt turned around and then bit into an invisible thing.

"OW! GET THIS DARN THING OFF OF ME!" He yelled as Bowser breathed fire at Francis while Sora and Kairi slashed Francis several times as Duck Hunt let go...and then used Trick Shot to deal a lot of damage to him. "GAH!" He yelled as Duck Hunt snickered.

"BEHIND THE POWER OF THE BOWSER BOMB!" Bowser yelled and ground pounded Francis.

"OW! You're really heavy!" He exclaimed as tried to reach for his camera to blind them, but Link threw a bomb at him right when Samus fired shots at Francis. "Where's my Meowbombs?!"

"Oh, so that's what this thing is?" Peach asked as she was holding it. "Good to know." She said and then threw it right at Francis's face.

"AAAGH! Why can't I do anything?!"

"Simple." Samus said, charging up her beam. "Nerds only attack with pathetic moves." She said and then fired it, making him fly into a wall and faceplant on the ground.

"...Uncle..." He groaned.

Fort Francis

"Hmph." Samus folded her arms. "Pathetic."

"Tell me about it." Link sighed. "I was expecting more of a fight." He said as Mario opened the cage to release Tippi.

"Oh thank you so much!" Tippi exclaimed. "I am SO happy that you freed me!" She exclaimed, and then suddenly a Pure Heart appeared above Tippi.

"Huh? Where did that come from?" Sora asked.

"I'm guessing she was so happy to see you guys...that she just conjured up a Pure Heart...?" Link guessed. "...Eh, it's the best I got for a reason."

"Come on, let's get out of here." Tippi said as they nodded.
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Poor Francis...he never got a shot with Samus.

Poor Samus, she got talked into it.