Linctavia Week – Day 3

Favorite Scene 4x01

His muscles strain to carry her during the last mile of the journey. He tries to keep her mind off the poison racing through her body by making her practice the Trigedasleng phrase. Eventually, she stops, so he asks her questions about life on the Ark. He knows she doesn't like to talk about it, but he needs her to keep talking. Anything to remind him that she's still alive.

She falls quiet when they get close to their destination. He sees the pillars ahead and sighs in relief. It's almost over. He's panting heavily as he draws closer. He takes a few more steps and gently sets her down near the pillars. Her eyes stare right through him as if he's not there. He needs to hurry, or she won't make it. He blinks back tears. She will make it. She's strong.

Her eyes blink slowly, and he cups her cheeks. "Now sleep," he says. He would rather her stay awake, but it'll take a moment for him to get the antidote. Until then, she needs to save her energy. It'll slow the poison's progress. Maybe he should have stuck with the beetle solution, but it was too late to go back. This was her only chance.

He peers at her for a moment. She looks so tired. He came back for her, and now she might die anyway.

"Be back with the antidote as soon as I can," he says, in a hopeful and reassuring voice. She's always been strong for him, now he needs to do the same. He notices that she sees the statue as he's digging through his bag. Her eyes widen in alarm, and he's already on damage control.

"You brought me to your village?" she whispers. If she wasn't so sick, he knew that would have come out in an angrier tone. Yes, he lied to her, but it was their only chance.

"I won't let you die," he says with a determined look. He's put his life on the line for her before, what's once more going to hurt?

"Lincoln…Lincoln," she says urgently as she tries to get up.

He goes to her. "Hey…hey."

"They'll kill you," she whispers sadly, her eyes pleading for him to stay.

He's in front of her in an instant gently holding her cheeks. "Hey, only if they catch me." He looks deep into her eyes, hoping to instill the confidence he's relying on.

Tucking her hair behind her hair, a habit he's seen her do many times around him, he leans in close. "Stay alive," he says.

His eyes drift to her lips, wondering if he should kiss her. If he does, she'll think it's good bye. Instead, he looks back into her eyes.

"And stay quiet," he adds. She nods with his hand underneath her chin. He hesitates to leave her side, but he really must go.

He turns around and heads toward his village. He can feel her eyes on his back, but he pushes it out of his mind. His main goal is to get the antidote and get back to Octavia as soon as possible.

The back roads lead him to his old tent. It's practically vacant, and he quietly searches for any vials he has leftover. His personal belongings were left behind, but anything useful was gone.

Resisting the urge to slam his fist into the wall, he thinks about his next move. Nyko's healing tent is the next place to look, but it's harder to get to. Someone would see him.

He finds an old shawl and drapes it over his head. He hurries to the Nyko's tent, and surprisingly finds it unoccupied. He tries to remember where Nyko keeps the antidote, when he hears the tent flap open.

Indra, Lexa, and Nyko step in as he turns around. The recognition on their faces is immediate. He grabs the vials and runs out the back only to be tackled by Gustus.

He groans as the wind gets knocked out him. He grabs for his knife, but there's a boot on his dominant hand.

"You came back even though you were branded a traitor," Lexa says. She shakes her head. "Foolish move."

Gustus grabs him and hauls him up.

"We knew you would try to come back. Anything to help those Sky Abominations," Indra says and takes a step closer to him.

He glances away from her. He can't look into the eyes of the woman who helped raise him after his parents died. The disappointment pouring out of them haunts him every day. He wants her to understand, but she's different from him. Her duty to her people came before everything else. Even him. That's what made his decision to help Octavia so much easier. Octavia accepted him for who he was, and he wasn't about to let her go.

"Lincoln, what have you done?" Nyko asks. His eyes implore for an answer, but Lincoln refuses to make eye contact. They can't know about Octavia's condition. They'd use the information to kill her.

"Take him to the cell. He dies tomorrow night," Lexa says and leaves. Nyko and Indra escort him to the cell where he's chained to the wall. His mind desperately searches for a solution, but he's trapped. He dies tomorrow, and Octavia will die soon without the antidote.

Indra kneels in front of him. "I tried like hell to do right by your mother. She was a good friend and an even better warrior. You disgrace her through your actions."

"And you disgrace her by turning your back on her son! The Sky People did nothing wrong. They were forcefully sent here!" he tries to argue.

"They kidnapped and tortured you. They opened fire on our Commander. They burnt over three hundred of our warriors and took our land. They are lucky we didn't kill them as soon as they landed. Your parents would be ashamed of you if they saw how soft you've become," Indra snarls.

He can see the anger in her eyes, and he can't blame her for some of it. She really did try with him, but he could never understand the harsh ways of their culture the way she did. Instead of prolonging this agony, he dismisses her.

"We're done here."

The sharp slap that comes next jars his head for a moment.

"You would choose that little girl over your own people? Lincoln, I loved you like a son. I invested in you and did my best. I do not want your death, but I will have it. It's what traitors deserve."

Her breath catches during the last phrase, and it makes Lincoln look up. Indra's eyes are shiny, and he can tell she's biting down hard on the inside of her cheek. He can't bear to disappoint her one more time.

"I'm sorry, Indra."

The dark woman doesn't respond. She just stands up and leaves him alone with Nyko.

Nyko sits next to him. "What were you thinking, Lincoln? All you had to do stay away, and you could have lived to old age. Why didn't you leave with the girl?"

Lincoln smirks at the thought of Octavia. "She caught an arrow to the leg. I couldn't leave her behind."

Nyko nods understandingly. "She was poisoned, and you had no more antidote."

"Yeah," Lincoln breathes out, and then gives a sad little laugh. "It doesn't matter anymore. We're both dead."

"I can help her," Nyko offers. "Just tell me where she is."

Lincoln glances at his old friend. "How do I know you won't kill her?"

Nyko shrugs. "You don't. It won't matter after tomorrow night."

Lincoln thinks it over. Without the antidote, Octavia will surely die. If Nyko goes to her, there's a chance she could live. It would be without him, but she's strong enough to survive his death. She could find her brother again, and they could move on.

There's a selfish part of him that wants to refuse Nyko's offer. He wants to spare her the pain of his death, but that's not his decision to make. Whether or not she moves on must be up to her.

He begrudgingly gives Nyko her location, and the healer leaves immediately.

Once he's alone, the tears start streaming down his cheek. He would never see her again. He would never get to touch or taste her ever again.

He finds himself wishing that he had kissed her back at the statue. He wishes a lot of things, but he doesn't ever regret her coming into his life.

She had been fierce and protective. She opened up to him once she realized that he was helping her. She went against her own people to save his life and end his torture.

Memories of their first kiss swam into his mind. The night they first made love was always close to his heart. She had put her trust in him completely, as she was the more inexperienced of the two. All the nights that they spent cuddled by a fire would now just be memories for her, instead of their actual future.

His body shook as he sobbed. He didn't want to leave her with this pain. He didn't want to hurt her at all, but there was no escaping his fate. He would die tomorrow and leave her behind.

"I die so that she lives. Fair trade," he whispers as he pictures her waiting for him near the statue.