Chapter Three
"Ah, there you are, Miss Apple," Fancy Pants said to Applejack in greeting outside the Fragrant Flowers Cafe. His hands were in his pockets and he was grinning wildly.
"Hi," she answered, sounding bolder than she felt and thrusting her hand out for a hearty handshake.
Of course, he had instead bowed over her hand and kissed it, which surprised her for a moment.
"Right," she thought to herself, "Big City manners – I kin do this."
"Lovely evening, isn't it?" he asked.
"Yes, it is," she said, smoothing out her country accent.
"Shall we?"
He had made a reservation, which Applejack realized she should have expected, and were immediately led to a table with a view of the garden across the street. They were handed their menus and left alone to decide.
"Shoot," Applejack thought looking frantically over the menu, "Am I supposed ta order an appetizer?"
"Ponyville is certainly quaint," began Fancy Pants cheerfully.
"What is that supposed ta mean?"
"The garden over there, for instance, is quite a feast for the eyes, as they say. So wild and untamed. You would never find such a thing in Canterlot, you know."
Applejack decided that 'feast for the eyes' was probably a compliment and replied with, "It certainly is a beautiful garden".
Fancy Pants continued to speak of the town in glowing terms, praising a small bookshop he had 'discovered' yesterday while Applejack looked through the menu with glazed eyes.
"Soup or salad? I can't even tell if I'm hungry!"
When the waiter appeared, her hands began to sweat and she fumbled with the laminated menu. They were asked for their order and Applejack was saved by a single question.
"What would you recommend?" Fancy Pants asked the waiter.
The man glowed – as a sophisticated waiter in a small town that held little appreciation for the finer things in life, being asked his opinion by a man clearly from the upper echelons of society was an honor. He was quick to praise the special and had generous words for the fish.
"I'll have the special," said Applejack, trying not to let her relief show through.
Fancy Pants ordered the same and the conversation would have continued from there, except –
"Applejack, hi! Fancy seeing you here! Oh and speaking of fancy, hello Fancy Pants."
–Twilight interrupted.
"A pleasure," said Fancy Pants smoothly.
"I just saw you guys sitting over here," Twilight continued, "so I thought I'd come over and say hi. So, hi! I'm here with Spike."
She gestured to her table where Spike was idly toying with the silverware.
"He aced an algebra test, so we're having a bit of a celebration. The chocolate cake here is divine, but don't tell Pinkie I said that. What are you two doing here?"
"You know, the usual," said Applejack, squirming in her seat and hoping Twilight wouldn't ask questions.
"What do you mean?" asked Twilight with a big grin on her face.
She took a closer look at Applejack who, as far as she knew, was not a fan of fine dining and therefore was doing something very unusual. She had already noticed the dress and hair, of course, but this time she noticed the make-up.
"Oh! Does –" she leaned to whisper in Applejack's ear, "Does Rarity know?"
"Of course she knows," Applejack whispered back.
"Perhaps I should excuse myself if the two of you have something to discuss," said Fancy Pants, beginning to stand.
"No, that's ok," said Twilight. "I just had a quick question for Applejack. I'm going now. Have a good evening."
Twilight returned to her seat with more speed than grace and Fancy Pants looked amused.
"She's rather more chatty than she used to be, but all in all, I'd say Princess Twilight is much the same. It's good to see her title hasn't gone to her head."
"The only thing that goes to Twilight's head are her books."
"Still quite the student then. We were at Celestia's School for Gifted Scholars together, you know. Different years, but the school is so small, you get to know everybody. I remember she always had her eyes in a book."
"That's our Twilight – always reading."
Applejack paused for some water and continued, "I didn't know you two went to the same school."
Fancy Pants was happy to talk about his school days and Applejack began to relax. During the meal the conversation segued into a discussion of Manehatten, where Fancy Pants occasionally conducted business.
"I spend a few days there every couple of months," he said.
"My Aunt and Uncle Orange live in Manehatten," said Applejack.
Some time thereafter was necessarily spent speaking of their respective families. Applejack eventually made a comment about working with family and the conversation turned back to business. It was over a dish of crème brule that Fancy Pants told her the news.
"One of my," he paused, "clients is a private investor in Flim and Flam's Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 2000."
Applejack dropped her spoon.
"I can't imagine that's goin' well fer them," she said, her accent creeping back in.
"It isn't. After the brother's failure in the States, they repurposed their machine to squeeze grapes and tried to sell it in Europe."
She pushed her dessert away from her.
"Your family is extensive, is it not?"
She swallowed thickly.
"Yer point?" she asked.
"My client isn't pleased with their lack of success, here and abroad. They've given Flim and Flam one last chance."
"And?"
"They will be in Ponyville tomorrow."
Applejack stood up, her chair scraping roughly across the floor. She slammed her hands on the table and leaned across it.
"Ah'm wearin' my Sunday best on a Friday fer this?"
"I'm afraid I don't have the pleasure of understanding you," said Fancy Pants as he leaned back in his chair.
"Ah ain't stupid, Mister. Ya figured, what? Ya could charm me with yer ways and Ah'd do anythin' ya wanted? Including fallin' in with swindlers like the Flim Flam Brothers?"
"I rather figured that I should warn you as a courtesy to Rarity, as she is my friend and you are hers. I know you didn't get on with Flim and Flam the first time you came across one another, which is what has created this situation in the first place."
Applejack took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes at him.
"Please sit down," entreated Fancy Pants. "People are starting to stare."
She did as he asked, but her jaw was tight with anger.
"I shouldn't have told you like this," he began, "I can see that now. But it seemed rather cowardly to ask Rarity to pass the message, so I thought I'd do it myself."
Fancy Pants took a moment to compose his thoughts by looking out the window, where the dark night was lit by streetlights and crisp, fall leaves were being whisked through the air by the wind.
"It would be a shame to reject such a fine piece of machinery because the inventors are also con artists," he said, finally.
The pair was silent for a few moments longer before Fancy Pants offered to see Apple Jack home.
"Oh, Ah couldn't let ya do that," said Applejack. "The farm's too outta yer way, especially with the storm comin' an' all."
"If you're sure," said Fancy Pants.
"Yep."
With the date over, they parted ways. Driving home, Applejack tried to figure out why she felt so utterly defeated.
"Was it even really a date?" she asked herself.
She puffed her hair out of her eyes and frowned.
"Would Ah be better off if'n Ah'd never gone in the first place?"
Applejack returned home just as Big Mac was heading in for the night. He waved at her from the porch and watched her approach the house. The wind whipped through her hair and threw the leaves into a frenzy. Winona was barking nervously from the house.
"Got some news," said Big Mac over the noise. "Fluttershy's ma's in town."
"Yeah?" said Applejack as she preceded her brother into the house. "She's not the only one. Guess who else is in town?"
"Who?"
"The Flim Flam brothers."