Oh look its me... Still alive after last night? Nope me neither.

I wasn't originally going to update today but I was e up for college only to find my lessons cancelled so I thought "what a better way to spend my time than write FanFiction?" because that's what every sane person does at six in the morning.

So yeah, obviously Lexa is pissed and her and Clarke will need to hash it out before heading off to war. Octavia might need to wake up a bit before realising what's happening her end of things if you know what I mean ;)

Echo is on her way too, so get excited because she is going to kick some arse next to Bellamy. The remaining 100 will be united soon! Just not right now...

Anyway please enjoy and thanks for the reviews, keep em coming, I love reading them :D

Disclaimer: I bought copyright! Wait... No I didn't...

XoXoXoX

Clarke was watching Lea intently. They stood together in the commander's tent talking the plan through to the generals. She allowed herself only a few moments of distraction by convincing herself that she knew the plan through and through. It had nothing to do with how close their bodies were to touching.

Octavia stood slightly to the left. In Indra's place. Earlier that day the general had taken a turn for the worse after the injuries she received from the attack on TonDC. Despite Abbey's best efforts however she hadn't pulled through. Though Lexa had surprised everyone when she proposed a new position to Octavia, her personal guard. Clarke believed it was a testimony to how far they had really come for the commander to trust someone that wasn't one of her own. She was running low on personal guards after recent events.

Octavia and Clarke left the tent together once the plan was confirmed. She wasn't trying to avoid Lexa but after their interaction the other day Clarke was struggling on knowing what to say... Lexa herself wasn't helping the matter. She was doing everything in her power to make sure she wasn't alone with the blonde. Clarke was finding this only slightly annoying as the impending battle came ever closer yet the war between her head and her heart was still raging furiously.

At least she wasn't the only one. Raven was sat alone outside one of the war tents looking into a burning pile of ash with intent. As if the remnants of last night's fire held the answer to all her problems. Clarke made her way over and threw herself next to the mechanic who made indication that she even knew she was there.

"What's on your mind?"

Noresponse caused Clarke to lightly push the other girl. Only then did she look up from the burning cinders, "I said, what are you thinking about Reyes?"

"I'm thinking 'what happens when this is over', 'what will happen to the alliance without a common goal' but most of all... How... How do we live with what we've done to survive?"

There was an innocent look that plagued across her features and Clarke could forget for a moment that she had endured the pain and suffering that she had. She could forget that they killed on an almost day to day basis in the name of survival.

"Finn saidsomething like that. I told him that the things we've done to survive don't define us"

Raven paused, listening, "what did he say?"

"Askedme what if I was wrong... What if this" she indicated to them and the camp around them, "is who we are now"

There was a long silence and Clarke didn't think Raven would say anything before, "what do you think?"

"I would have said that he was wrong, that this isn't who we are. Not really. But now... The truth is I've seen it... Seen that monster that's inside each of us. Lincoln was right when he said that we all have one and that we're all responsible for what it does when it's released. Finn wasn't any different... I'm not any different"

"TonDC?"

Clarke looked up perplexed and Raven gave her a half smile, "Octavia said you were there in plenty of time. Which means you had time to warn the commander, which means you had time to get everyone out... But you didn't"

An uncomfortable silence settled between them as Clarke tried to gage Raven's emotions but she was just as stoic as the commander.

Raven answered the unasked question, "I don't blame you Clarke. This is war and the choices we make in war can't be allowed to define who we really are. Lincoln was right, there is a monster inside all of us and war brings it out, but he was also wrong. If you let war define who you are then you can't ever truly be free of it"

For the first time Clarke could feel how tired she was. Her muscles seemed to sag with Raven's words and she was shocked at how relieved she felt as well. She couldn't lose another friend.

"Octavia blames me"

"Octavia misses Lincoln. She's worried for her brother... Octavia blames everyone"

"Not you though" Clarke narrowed her eyes, she hadn't missed the increasing tension between the two over the last few days, "only you seemed to be exempt from that"

Raven shrugged, "We have a lot in common"

She scoffed in response, "and you? How do you feel about her?"

"I-" that seemed to surprise her, "I don't know... We're in the middle of a war. The only thing I can process is that we might be dead tomorrow... How I feel about Octavia just hasn't - I haven't considered"

"Maybe you should"

Raven stood up and glared down at her, "do me a favour Clarke?Don't lecture me on my feelings when you and Lexa can't even be in the same room as each other. At least me and Octavia are talking"

With the she wandered off back down to the Ark leaving Clarke feeling thoroughly perplexed. She didn't realise she had been that obvious.

XoXoXoX

Lexa growled slightly as her opponent moved steadily towards her. He was a good warrior but was too heavy on his feet to last against Lexa. She was faster and more agile than him.

Still they had been at this dance for a while and the mud, sweat and grime plastered itself across Lexa's skin. She was in minimal clothing, allowing for fluidity in her movements, but it meant that the scars littering her back and tattooso were on full display.

Lexa felt the piercing eyeswatching from behind and didn't need to turn around to know Clarke was watching her. Still she wouldn't allow herself to become distracted.

Diving from two more attacks she watched as his movements became sloppy and weak as his body tired beneath him.

After his third lunge caused him to stumble and remain facing away from her in the ring she finally moved. Raising her fists she moved forward in a quick motion and connected her right foot to his back. He fell beneath her but didn't stay down for long. Despite being tired and worn he was still a trained warrior and they were drilled to the belief of getting back up again.

She didn't allow him the respite time. He had turned to face her for a second when she jumped. Twisting her legs in mid air she coiled around his head and pulled him down. Slamming him head first to the ground rendering him unconscious. A move that would normally have snapped the neck in half had she been aiming to kill.

Lexa left the fallen warrior to be tended to by Nyko and moved to her tent. She ignored Clarke as she passed her and gave a quick nod to Octavia before entering.

She had only removed the dirt from her face when Clarke entered but she didn't turn. There was nothing the skygirl could say now that she hadn't already said. Unless she was here to fully confirm her lack of feelings towards the commander.

Clarke surprised them both however by silently moving forward, taking the rag from Lexa's hand and cleaning the parts on her back where she struggled to reach.

They stayed like that for a while. Lexa sitting quietly without complaint as Clarke silently cleaned her. Lexa felt the girl's fingers linger on the streaked scars that littered her back.

"Jus dren jus daun"

Clarke stopped her movements but her hand remained lightly over the scars, "who?"

"300 warriors died. I went to war to avenge Costia... I was young and foolish. I made the mistake of believing I could defeat her... I made the mistake but my warriors paid the price"

There were countless lashes across her back. She had suffered the rawness of flesh there for days to come but that was nothing compared to the gate she had doomed her warriors to.

"You wanted justice...What's wrong with that?"

Lexa turned to face Clarke with a blank expression, "I'm the commander, it's not my place to ask my men to give their lives for one life. It was mine to give but I have a duty to my people"

Clarke swallowed and her eyes flickered nervously, "what about me?"

Her eyes widened slightly and felt her heart betray her for a moment, "what about you?"

Another swallow, "you care about me... So am I your people or... Something else?"

They were nose to nose now and Lexa could hear the thoughts running through Clarke's mind. She understood now, the attraction between them ran so strong because they understood. Clarke understood the burden placed upon her and where Costia would try to distract her Clarke wanted to relieve her. Maybe she didn't need a distraction anymore. She was older now. A better leader. But she still had much to learn about being a better person. About being Lexa. Maybe here, here alone with Clarke, she didn't have to pretend here. Clarke understood the commander but she also understood Lexa.

"what do you want to be Clarke?" she barely dared whisper it.

Clarke didn't reply but instead closed the gap between them. It was soft, sensual and Lexa understood. Not the commander. Lexa. Not the leader of the sky people. Clarke. Clarke was everything and nothing all at once.

XoXoXoX

Abbey helped Kane walk a few steps before insistently pushing him down upon the nearest chair. He grimaced and clutched at his side.

"I told you not to exert yourself"

He shot her a grimaced smile before turning to the line of grounder tents and one in particular.

"They're preparing for war"

"We all are" Abbey replied grimly and leant forward to inspect his wound.

"Is Lexa ready?"

Abbey seemed to stiffen at the commander's name, "Clarke seems to think she is"

"you trust her"

"I trust Clarke" Abbey corrected, "she's changed so much"

"they all have" Kane observed just as Octavia stepped forward into the ring to begin training, "They're not kids anymore Abbey"

"They're the 100"

"And what's that?"

She looked out as Clarke and Lexa left the tent. They were talking rapidly and moving forward to where a group of Lexa's generals stood. She watched Octavia duck and slide the attacks of her opponent. Watched Raven move around with the explosives, her injured leg dragging behind her slightly. Monroe walking in time with the guard twice her size. Remembered the haunted look on Finn's face, the ghost of a smile that troubled Bellamy and the scars that littered Murphy. The scars that covered Clarke when she first saw her again, the cries of Raven as she endured the pain, Clarke's cries after she killed Finn and the distraught look of the Blake's as they were separated. Again.

If this was a few then what would they find in mount weather?

"What indeed"

Okay so not particularly long but I wanted to create the build up for the final assault on mount weather which will span over a few chapters. This fic won't end after that though.

Oh no

You're not getting rid of me that easily guys ;)

Mount weather is just the beginning

Please keep the reviews rolling - :)

Oh and CLEXA KISSSSSSSS