A/N: This is probably one of the saddest fics I've written...I'm sorry. But I wanted to see where Paige's grief would take her if Mike died. So while this story is very much about Paige and Mike, this really is her journey. Everyone from the house appears, but most of the unfinished plotlines are in the backdrop. I promise that this isn't 20 chapters of sadness...there are some lighter moments and if you've read anything I've written, you know I love flashbacks. So there are some happy memories of Mike. Thanks for sticking with this and let me know what you think.

And...I'm loving all the behind the scene pics that are surfacing for Season 3! I'm not sure I can wait until June.

Paige buried her face in her pillow, absentmindedly reaching out for Mike. Not feeling his warm body next to hers, she sighed, wondering if he snuck out of bed for an early morning run. She wasn't sure how he did it. How he could be up most of the night working or being with her and still wake up at 6am to go running. His saving grace was that he rarely woke her up in the mornings, (usually) knowing better than to ask if she wanted to go running with him. Which she would. But only at a respectable hour.

Paige slowly opened her eyes, squinting in the dark room. Confused, Paige glanced at the clock. 4:47. She glanced towards the bathroom and the door was open and the light was off. She didn't hear the water or anything. Where was he? It was too early for him to be running and she was in his room, not hers. Why was she in Mike's room? It had been weeks since they were together. She was dressed. But wearing his clothes and was in his bed.

Paige sat up slowly and the events from the past few hours rushed to the forefront of her mind.

"Paige, what happened with Mike? Huh? What did you do?"

"Sid. I gave him the name."

"No, it's okay - I just just a little bit until the storm passes and then I'll go."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"I was in his room earlier. The time of death was 7:14pm."

"I never told him..."

"He knew baby, he knew."

"Ah, so you're back here to try to make yourself a rock star again? The world has enough dead rock stars Mike. Briggs is just trying to make sure you're not one of them."

Paige squeezed her eyes shut as she placed her hands over her face, not wanting to face reality. Thoughts of Mike were consuming her. She couldn't stop thinking about him. Not that she wanted to, but if she couldn't get him off her mind she was pretty sure she'd go insane. Pushing aside the blankets, she climbed out of bed. The second her feet touched the floor, the room started spinning. She closed her eyes as she waited for the dizziness to pass, but as it subsided, she she struggled to catch her breath. Gripping the blankets, she tried taking deep breaths, becoming more and more frustrated as her breathing became more shallow and her heart started beating faster.

Paige released the blanket and squeezed her hand into a fist, her nails pressing into the palms of her hand. The pain distracted her enough to help her focus. She slowly breathed in and out, trying to calm down. As her breathing slowed down, Paige unclenched her fist and opened her eyes. Sitting still for a few more minutes, she continued to focus on her breathing. Sensing the panic attack had passed, she stood up, but felt unsteady on her feet, so she slid to the floor, sitting with her back leaning against Mike's bed.

"You know, the first time I saw you, you were singing karaoke." Mike set his laptop aside, running his hands over his face, the stress of working through the night was wearing on both of them.

"That's right. I was. Didn't I pee in front of you too?" Paige asked, not really meeting his gaze. Not really the first impression she went for with a guy. But whatever, it didn't matter. She got the guy. Even if she peed in front of him. Besides, he followed her into the women's restroom.

"Yeah."

"Well, a lady doesn't dwell."

That night seemed so long ago. That night was probably the last time things were right between them. Before everything started coming between them. She didn't want to think about all the ways they messed things up. Their lies. The case. Paige pushed all thoughts about the case from her mind, not wanting to think about that right now.

Paige lightly touched her lips, remembering what it felt like to kiss Mike. How he made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling. Things she tried not to feel. She wasn't sure if it was because he knew her, the real her. If it was because they lived together. Or if it was because it was Mike.

Even that night. Looking back, she felt embarrassed that she peed in front of him the night they met. When it happened, it didn't bother her. But a year later, it bothered her just a little, even though it had been over a year ago. Not that Mike had ever mentioned it. In fact, that night he was probably more embarrassed about it than she was. It wasn't a big deal, not the night it happened or the night she brought it up. But Mike could tell it bothered her a little. So he crawled across the room and kissed her. They talked about the case a little longer and she mentioned the future.

"And when I do and this bus case is over, you gonna go back to DC?" Paige asked. Mike didn't come out here for her. She knew that. But things between them were anything but casual. She wasn't sure she wanted him to go. But the only thing she knew for sure was that she couldn't ask him to stay.

Shaking his head slightly, Mike sighed heavily, "I don't know."

"Well, you gotta keep your options open."

Tears started streaming down her face as she thought about Mike no longer having options. But that night, that night his future was filled with endless possibilities. Lingering questions about if they had a future together, but neither really wanted to bring it up, because that would've meant admitting that whatever was going on between them was real. But it had been on both of their minds, even if they wouldn't admit it. When they slept together that night, it was slow. Tender with an undercurrent of desperation in every kiss and touch. It was almost as if they had started saying goodbye. Neither of them had any idea that would be the last time they would be together.

Her breath caught in her throat as she caught the intensity of his gaze. Paige closed her eyes and he kissed her slowly, trailing his lips along her neck, as she arched her body up against his.

"You're amazing," Mike whispered in her ear, slipping his hand between them.

"Don't stop," Paige murmured, bringing her hand to the back of Mike's neck, lightly gripping his hair. He lifted her head to look at her and she pulled him closer for a kiss, desperate to never have this moment end.

Paige swiped at her eyes and stood up slowly, relieved that she felt much steadier on her feet. Her hair was still damp from earlier, she should probably take a shower. Maybe try to eat something. Not that she was hungry. But she could at least shower.

She started walking towards the hall, stopping to turn and look into Mike's bathroom.

"Shh," Mike whispered against her lips, as she wrapped her legs tighter around his waist, her back to the shower wall.

Paige moaned softly, her eyes fluttering closed as Mike moved against her, "Your fault." Mike followed her into the shower and told her he was gonna make her scream. And he expected her to be quiet?

"I could just stop," Mike threatened, but she could hear the teasing tone in his voice.

Her eyes shot open as Mike suddenly stilled, "I hate you." If he didn't start moving again in five seconds she was going to kill him.

"Liar." Mike laughed before he started moving again, swallowing her cries with a kiss.

Mike dying didn't make him perfect. It didn't erase his sins. Wrongdoings. Lies. But she got to choose how she wanted to grieve him. At least their last conversation hadn't been an argument. Mike didn't know she tried to betray him. She pushed aside her guilt at turning him into the police, so she could focus on Mike. At least he died thinking she forgave him. It wasn't like before, when she had been trying to get him to leave Sulla's. She meant what she said to Mike. Until she found out he lied again.

That was one of the worst moments of her life. She felt betrayed. He lied to her. Made a fool out of her. Destroyed whatever they had for his career. Confronted with the truth she had suspected for so long, she ran. She couldn't be around him. Couldn't even look at Mike. Couldn't breathe the same air as him.

She hated this. Hated the universe. Hated him for dying. Hated herself for failing him. For falling for him

She didn't know who he was anymore. And now he was gone. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. Paige pushed all the files off Mike's desk. Letting out an anguished cry, she grabbed his laptop and smashed it against the edge of the desk. Her eyes darted around the room looking for something else to destroy, but just like last summer he didn't have many personal items in his room. Walking across the room, she started throwing his books one by one.

Charlie was still recovering from her run-in with Amber, and Briggs was taking care of her. Johnny still couldn't believe that Charlie was pregnant. Jakes was passed out downstairs after emptying a bottle of whiskey. Personally, he opted for tequila. He thought Paige was asleep in her room. But he heard a loud crash followed up by several smaller noises. Heading out into the hall, Johnny immediately headed towards Paige's room when he realized the sounds were coming from Mike's room.

Johnny waved Briggs away when he saw him enter the hall, "Paige is freaking out. I'll get her to calm down," Johnny said. Stumbling down the hall, he headed to Mike's room. Johnny slowly looked around the room. Paige was standing near some shelves, books were strewn all over the floor. He noticed Mike's laptop smashed across the room. What was it with those two and smashing laptops when they were upset? The bed wasn't made, letting him know that Paige had tried to sleep in here. Because no way in hell would Mike have left for the day without making his bed.

He remembered the day he picked Mike up from the airport last summer like it was yesterday. Then Mike left and came back a year later. Only everything and nothing changed. From the moment he saw Mike and Paige hug, he knew something had happened between them. And it didn't take a genius to figure out they picked things up again this summer. They weren't as secretive as they thought they were. Under normal circumstances he would've loved to endlessly tease them about their not so secret love affair but his hands had been full with Carlito. And Lucia. Then Paige went missing and whatever Mike did to get her out and not her girl ended whatever was going on between them. Only the thing was, whatever was going on with Mike and Paige wasn't over. Because someone didn't get this upset over someone they couldn't stand.

Johnny quietly approached Paige, wrapping his arms around her from behind. Paige tensed in his arms. "I got you, P."

Paige struggled against him, clearly becoming frustrated as his hold on her tightened. But he wasn't going to loosen his grip until she calmed down. "It's not fair," Paige cried as she stopped struggling.

"No, it's not fair, none of this is fair." Mike should be here. But he wasn't.

Johnny loosened his hold on Paige and she turned around. His heart ached as he took in her appearance. She looked heartbroken. Devastated. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. Losing Mike was going to be hard on all of them. But Paige, for Paige it could break her.

"He lied to me."

"Come on, don't think about that now. Mike made mistakes, but he - "

Paige shook her head, the tears falling quickly down her face. "He wasn't supposed to be a dead rockstar. He wasn't supposed to die. He wasn't..." She buried her face in his chest, and he was helpless to do anything but hold her as she cried.

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