A/N: This chapter's mostly filler. Things pick up in the next chapter. If you've stuck with this...thanks. I know it's sad...but things have to get worse before they get better. Let me know what you think :)

Johnny leaned against the counter, taking a few minutes to gather himself while he waited the coffee to finish brewing. He was up way too early, but he couldn't sleep. He had been up with Paige most of the night, trying to get her to go back to sleep. Mike's death hit her hard, she cried herself to sleep and usually woke up screaming. He knew that the two of them had been involved, it was the worst kept secret in the house. The only thing anyone was surprised about was that it had taken them that long as it did to hook up. But then everything happened with the case and Mike's boss, and suddenly those two were no longer sneaking into each other's room. Or awkwardly jumping apart any time someone walked into the room. Mike and Paige had always been tight and his death would've devastated Paige even if they hadn't been together.

"You're up early," Briggs said, heading to the fridge. "Late night?"

"It was another rough night for Paige. I'm really worried about her. Do you think she should see someone?"

"She'll have to, it's mandated."

"But is that really the best person for her to talk to? Whoever we have to see, all they want to know is if she can shoot her gun. They don't care about her grief. All the bureau cares about is if she can go undercover. She needs to see someone else."

"If Paige wants to keep doing the job - "

"What if she doesn't?" Paige hadn't said anything specific to him about leaving, but she had mentioned it to Jakes. Revealed how she wasn't sure when she would be able to take another case. Wasn't sure if she wanted to work undercover anymore.

"Give her some time."

He and Paige had moved into Graceland within weeks of each other. He couldn't picture this house without her. Or Mike. He still couldn't believe what went down at the Solano compound. He went over that day again and again, trying to see if there was anything he could've done differently. He still had no idea what had happened that day when Mike got to the compound. If he engineered the bloodbath that ensued. It was hard for him to believe that Mike would do something like that. But circumstances change. Outside forces can cloud loyalties. That was how he ended up working for Carlito. If not for Lucia, he would've happily arrested Carlito that day. But Carlito was using his sister as leverage for protection. Until he could get Lucia away from Carlito, he was stuck working for him. Even though he didn't know the details, he knew that wasn't what happened with Mike. Paige was safe. But if someone had her, he didn't doubt that Mike would do whatever it took to get her back, just like he had when she was under as a tinker bell. But even though Carlito had Lucia, for the most part she was safe. Carlito loved her, even if he had a twisted way of showing it. But as concerned as he was for Lucia and with as much danger she was in, he still felt like his priority needed to be Paige right now. He just needed to get through - get her through these next few weeks, then he could focus on Lucia.

Heading downstairs, Paige was hit with a flood of memories as she rounded the landing on the staircase.

Feeling unsteady, Paige gripped the railing and took a deep breath, wanting to avoid another panic attack. She hadn't had one since that first night. She focused on her breathing, making sure to keep her breaths slow so she wouldn't start hyperventilating. After a few minutes, her breathing evened out and she sat down on the steps, hugging her knees to her chest.

This was fine. She could sit here for a little while. She didn't really have any memories of Mike on the staircase. Just a few stolen kisses.

Her eyes widened as Mike pushed her up against the wall before they turned on the landing. "Everyone's in the kitchen." She recognized the look in his eyes and if they weren't careful, someone would see them. Before she had a chance to protest his lips were on hers. His kiss was demanding and she was seriously thinking about clearing her morning so they could head back upstairs.

Mike pulled back slightly and lightly brushed his lips over hers, "Just saying good morning."

She stood there dazed as Mike walked ahead of her, turning back to wink at her as he headed to the kitchen.

She would give anything to kiss him right now. Hell, she'd give anything to fight with him right now.

"Want some company?" Jakes asked as he descended the staircase.

Paige shrugged and Jakes took that as an invitation to sit down next to her. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while. She appreciated being able to just be. To not have to pretend she was fine when she wasn't. To not have to talk about Mike even though he was all she could think about. To not have to explain how things went so horribly wrong. How she could've been so angry with Mike, angry enough to turn him into the police but she was still devastated.

"Are you still thinking about leaving?" Jakes asked, breaking the silence.

She had confessed the night before, after one too many drinks that she was thinking about moving out. This case had taken a lot out of her. She wasn't sure she was ready to go undercover again. Wasn't sure she'd be able to keep it together. The one thing she knew for sure was that she couldn't work another sex trafficking case for a while. As much as she needed to do that kind of work, it was too much for her to handle emotionally. Especially right now.

"I'm not sure I can live here anymore. I want to stay. This is my home," Paige said. She had been at Graceland for a little over three years, but this house no longer felt like home. Not without Mike here. This wasn't like when he moved out last summer and she missed him. This was different. She saw and felt him everywhere. This house was filled with memories. Some of them comforted her. Or made her laugh. But mostly she was sad. Filled with so many regrets. Guilt.

"With time - "

"I don't want to hear time will heal all wounds," Paige snapped. Jakes dropped his hand from her arm and backed away from her at the harsh tone of her voice. Paige took a deep breath, "Sorry." She was on edge, they all were. But if one more person told her to give it time, she was going to scream.

Time wasn't going to bring Mike back.

"It's okay. I know you're upset."

Sick of crying all the time, Paige fought back tears. "I'm not sure time can fix this." Maybe it would make it hurt less. But right now the pain was too raw. She couldn't sleep in Johnny's bed indefinitely, but she also couldn't sleep alone.

"Have you thought about talking to someone?"

"Isn't that what we're doing? Talking?" Paige asked, forcing a smile on her face even though she knew what Jakes meant. Everyone that lived here was mandated to meet with someone at least once. Her appointment was scheduled for next week. Not that she wanted to talk with someone about her feelings, but she was starting to think it wouldn't be a horrible idea.

"Anything you want to talk about, I'm here for you. You know that, right? If it's about Mike. Or work. Or whatever."

"Even if I tell you embarrassing things about us?"

Jakes laughed, "I might regret this later, but even if."

Paige looped her arm through Jakes, resting her head on his shoulder. It would be easier to talk with someone she lived with. They knew how complicated things were with her and Mike, and for the most part they understood why. There were certain things she wouldn't have to explain. She would be able to talk about the case. How it was hard to separate their jobs from their personal lives when they were undercover. But there were personal things she could barely explain to herself. And even more personal things she didn't want to share with a roommate. But it meant a lot to her that Jakes was willing to listen. Especially when he spent so much time fighting the fact that this house was family. But they had grown really close this summer. She knew he still felt guilty about not being there for her the night she went under as a tinker bell. But he hadn't been the one to let her down that day, Mike had. But Jakes had supported her all summer, when she felt alone and defeated in working her case. And he was supporting her now. She was just a different kind of alone and defeated. "Sometimes I call Mike's phone, just to hear his outgoing voicemail message. It's pathetic, right?"

"It's Mike, leave a message."

"To want to hear his voice?" Jakes shook his head, "No. You need to do whatever you need to do to help you through this."

"For a few seconds, it's almost like everything's normal. Like I can just tell him to meet me at The Drop. Or to ask him to pick up some cereal if he's stopping at the store. But he's not there. He's not going to call me back to ask if there's anything else I want from the store." Calling Mike's voicemail wasn't the only pathetic thing she was doing. She swiped his bodywash from his shower. Not the expensive organic stuff that she tried to convince him to use when they were together. That was probably still sitting in his shower untouched. But the cheap one he picked up from the grocery store that he had been using since he was in college, had found its way into the main bathroom.

"If hearing his voice comforts you, keep calling."

"Sometimes I forget he's gone. I pick up the phone and I call him out of habit and it's not until I hear his voicemail that I remember he's not here." Paige jumped when she felt her phone buzz. She pulled it out of her pocket, nervously glancing at the screen. "It's Silvo."

"Did you call him?"

"Yesterday, I asked him to call me."

"You don't have to rush to make a decision."

"But I need to make one." Paige answered her phone and stood up, heading back upstairs to take the call.

Jakes watched her leave and he rested his head against the side of the wall. He spent far too much time insisting this place wasn't his home. Wasn't his family. But he cared about the people that lived here. Cared for them like family and they were all hurting.

Briggs was fighting to keep the house together and taking care of all the arrangements with Mike. Taking care of Charlie. Paige was barely holding it together. Sometimes she seemed fine. Other times she seemed fragile. Johnny was still wrapped up with the Solanos but making sure to take care of Paige. He was worried about her. They all were. But even though she wanted to be alone sometimes, he was relieved she was letting them take care of her. He wasn't sure if leaving so soon after Mike died was the right decision for her, but he wouldn't try to talk her out of it.

He knew Paige. Knew that if she felt pressured, she'd rebel and run. And the last thing she needed to do was cut them off because she thought they didn't respect her decision.

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