21: Good day mates! I'm back again with the second chapter of the long awaited a now popular growing Return of the Capturing God series! If anyone who are my friends that have reserved their order of disk two of this fic will now be able to make cameo appearances in my fics! Now onto the show!
Fan of Fanfics21 Does not own Naruto or The World God Only Knows or any of these songs in the fic
As we see our favorite blonde Jinchuuriki walking around Konoha in the morning while playing his sacred PFP, Elsie was looking for something in her cookbook for a new recipe to try. "Let's see here…Ah! How about Leviathan's special fish? Fresh from its own stomach as well!" Elsie said as Naruto immediately paused for a minute and looked at her. "How do they get the fish out?" Naruto asked as Elsie began her own version of Keima nii-sama's lectures. "Leviathan is an ancient monster of Hell and is known to devour anything, a fellow demon was accidentally swallowed and was forced to live there for a month and had to eat the fish that lived in Leviathan's stomach that were affected by its…I think you guys called it demonic chakra and found out it was an interesting and delicious type of fish food. Since then, Leviathan allows a few demons to fish in his stomach every few years in exchange for him getting to devour the spirits of the Weiss to help him grow." Elsie said as Naruto raised an eyebrow.
"How big is this…Leviathan now?" Naruto asked as Elsie went into a thinking pose. "I think he's the size of Hi no Kuni at the moment since he devoured 60,005 Weiss many years ago." Elsie said as Naruto's eyes widened, "Now that's a big whooper Elsie." Naruto said as Elsie nodded. "Yep, and he keeps getting bigger with each 666th Weiss he eats." Elsie said as Naruto whistled, "He might as well be the size of an entire planet then…" Naruto said as Elsie began explaining more about Leviathan "He usually reduces his size by creating special energy spheres that is used to power all of New Hell, since he was given the task to purify the Weiss and spirits of people." Elsie said as Naruto's attention got the best of him, "So basically, Leviathan eats the Weiss and souls of people, which then cleans them of their sins and creates energy for New Hell correct?" Naruto asked as Elsie nodded her head "So what happens to the Weiss and spirits of the people then?" Naruto asked.
"Well…I forgot, I was reading about fire trucks when they were doing the lecture when I got bored, sorry Kami-nii-sama." Elsie said as she bowed her head apologetically as Naruto patted her head surprising her. "It's alright, I'm curious though, are there any other Devils that you know?" Naruto asked as Elsie nodded her head happily, "Yeah! She's my best friend and is considered one of the best! Her name is…" Elsie had to say only to be sucked into a containment bin as a feminine chuckle was heard. "Detention bin again? Elsie, you haven't changed one bit." Said a girl's voice as a silhouette of a female figure was holding the containment bin with her left hand.
Naruto looked at the girl's detail; she had long purple hair, red eyes that shone like rubies that had a hidden fire in them, wearing a red uniform of some sort, high heels, and had a purple Celestial Robe while holding a scythe in her right hand as Elsie looked through the glass with a surprised and happy look on her face. "Haqua!" Elsie said in a happy tone as she tried to get out and give her friend a hug…only for Haqua to drop the bottle with Elsie inside.
As the bottle containing Elsie was about to hit the floor, Naruto caught it with only one hand while still looking at the screen of his PFP surprising Haqua and Elsie. "You know, for a friend that wasn't very nice of you to do that." Naruto said as he gently placed the bottle down and Elsie climbed out of it. "He caught it without looking, I would say impressive but not really." Haqua thought as she notice Naruto staring directly into her eyes and it was starting to unnerve her a bit. "W-What?" Haqua demanded as Naruto kept staring at her.
"You're born on April 24, measurements 80-56-83, weighs 46 kg, a domestic genius who is very strict on yourself, hates Kanji, hates the #2, and does not like it when things that are not going according to plan. You also have very embarrassed moments with my predecessor the original Capturing God Keima Katsuragi many years ago." Naruto said causing Haqua to widen her eyes in comical horror as Elsie had a clueless face at the moment which made Naruto chuckle. "I read your mind; after all….Nothing's impossible for me!" Naruto declared as he avoided a swap from Haqua's scythe while laughing.
"You filthy trash…just die!" Haqua shouted as she chased Naruto into Konoha's new musical district with Elsie following behind to stop the madness…though when you're Naruto Uzumaki, the insanity has just begun and is just about to get wilder. As we see our blond hero make a getaway into a dancing studio while wearing a dancing tuxedo to blend in while Haqua was currently fuming that she lost her target, Naruto bumped into one of the most unexpected people he's meet in his entire life. "Huh? What brings you here Naruto?" asked a young man with short black hair as he noticed Naruto wearing the suit. "Oh nothing really. I'm just avoiding a demon girl with a scythe and all Nione." Naruto said as Nione nodded his head with agreement. "Women…can't live with them, can't live without them." Nione said as Naruto nodded.
"So what are you doing here?" Naruto asked Nione who was smiling like a madman who just made the ultimate discovery within insanity itself. "I'm making a dancing show for the district featuring Sonia Fukyoku, but I'm in a crisis!" Nione shouted as he began his infamous rants about chicken, an out of control lawn mower, his sempai, and the floor. "By the way Nione, what happened to Hishin-san?" Naruto asked as Nione had a cruel sadistic grin on his face. "He's getting his "Flames of Youth" back as punishment for forgetting something important." He said.
Here we see a man with dark brown hair all sweaty and exhausted as he was currently in a predicament. He is currently tied to a chair and is force to see that awful sunset beach genjutsu of Gai's and Lee's as punishment from Nione. "I knew I should have wished him happy birthday so this doesn't happen all the time." Hishin muttered as the torture continued.
"…I'm not going to ask what happened." Naruto said when Nione chuckled darkly. "So what's the crisis?" Naruto asked as Nione slapped his forehead as he nearly forgot. "My tap dancer for the song had injured his leg and won't be able to join in for the video, I need a replacement!" Nione shouted as Naruto had begun thinking for a bit but was also wondering if Haqua is lost in the new district looking for him.
*with Haqua and Elsie*
"Damn it! Where the hell is that needle head!" shouted Haqua as she looked around in the instrument department to see if he was there. "Not here, might have to check the Karaoke building next. What do you think Elsie?" Haqua asked as she turned to her friend…only to face fault when Elsie was playing the bass guitar with a band called Puffy Ami Yumi.
"I'll do it." Naruto said as Nione had anime tears in his eyes that made Naruto recall the same expression when Gai and Lee do their "evil hug of damnation" which made him wonder if that illusion was even an illusion at all. "Great! Here's the script and dancing shoes that you're going to need and see you soon!" Nione said as he somehow pulled said objects out of nowhere and handed them to Naruto before running off. Naruto looked at the script and smirked, time to show them why he's a professional at everything!
Nione is currently running to the dressing room and knocked on it, "Sonia-chan! We found a replacement for the dancer!" Nione said in a sang-song tune as Sonia got out in a black and white dance dress. "Really? Who is it?" Sonia asked suspiciously as she is careful to make sure it wasn't a pervert that wouldn't be trying to get a feel when they dance. "The one and only man who can make the impossible possible…Naruto Uzumaki!" Nione shouted as Sonia's eyes widened "Why is Naruto-kun here? For some reason I keep bumping into him in the most unexpected places…" Sonia thought as she was led to the starting point of the dancing parade where Naruto is waiting. Just then, an attendant came and whispered something in Nione's ear which caused his eyes to widened and turned to Sonia. "Sorry Sonia, I'll have to get something, you go to the set ASAP!" Nione said before running off. Sonia looked at the man and wondered what happened before heading towards the start of the parade.
*With Haqua and Elsie*
"Geez, how hard is it to find one stupid blond boy!" Haqua shouted to the heavens causing everyone in the district to look at her which caused her to scratch the back of her head sheepishly as she laughed nervously as everyone went back to what they were doing. Elsie giggled at her friend's antics and decided to speak up. "Kami-nii-sama is the one who can elude even the best hunters and right when he's hiding under their noses almost literally!" Elsie said as Haqua grabbed her hair in frustration. "If I ever find that idiot, I'm going to get the Chief to officially cancel your contract Elsie then I'll kill him!" Haqua declaired as Elsie noticed a few familiar faces in the crowded streets. "Haku! Shinobu! Over here!" Elsie shouted as the Kiri kunoichi and librarian noticed her and walked towards the devil duo.
"Hello there Elsie-chan, it's surprising to see you here." Said Haku as Shinobu nodded "Yes, we went separate ways after the preliminaries. I just came here to collect a book containing lyrics for songs for my library." Shinobu said quietly. Just then they see Nione running like a lunatic who lost his head while being chased by an insane psychopath who was waging war with the floor. "Excuse me sir, what seems to be the problem?" asked Haku as the question stopped the man in his tracks and looked at them and began observing them. "Hmmm, you four will do just fine for my music video." Nione said as the four girls gave him a 'WTF' look. "You see, four of my singing girls are sick today and I need to find four replacements before it's too late!" Nione said as the girls shared a look.
"I'll pay for all of you full paychecks just say yes!" Nione begged as he was on his knees. "What's the song?" Elsie asked as Nione whispered the name in her ear as suddenly Elsie was like a little kid in a candy store and said "We'll do it!" causing the other girls to immediately jump at the declaration. "Alright then, here are your dresses and scripts and see you at the end of the district where the musical parade will begin!" Nione said as he somehow pulled the clothes, shoes, and scripts out of nowhere and dashed off. Once he was out of sight, Haqua glared at her friend as she grabbed Elsie by the shoulders and shook her violently. "Why the hell did you agree for us? You have forgotten we are looking for that troublesome blond you call a god!" Haqua snapped as Elsie had a sly look on her face that was completely out of character. "Remember what I said that Nii-sama can hide under your nose? Well he blends in with events by being in parades, musicals and such when he's not playing games and to avoid being caught." Elsie said as Haqua slapped her face as she muttered something about blonds and troublesome best friends. "But what about these two I'm sure they must be busy as well." Haqua said as Haku shook her head no.
"Actually, I just came here for some time off with my team and went our separate ways. I guess this would be a good time for some fun." Haku said with a smile while everyone looked at Shinobu who looked at the dress's details and wondered if it would fit her. "I guess I can join, after all I need an interview with Naruto-san on his part during the Chunin Exams and this is my only lead in finding him." Shinobu said as Elsie smiled and pumped a fist in the air. "Alright! Let's go and boogie!" Elsie shouted as they went to a dressing room and changed into black and white dresses with some yellow on the chest part of the dresses and they headed towards the starting point of the musical parade.
*With Naruto*
Naruto was currently relaxing and was chatting with Sonia about random topics until Sonia asked about his God of Conquest Mode: Code Senju. "Well Code Senju is based on what it means, I am able to play a thousand games at once and still have reactions to them. I am able to play up to ten thousand games at once but using these modes are double edged swords." Naruto explained to her as she asked how. "Well just by using Senju mode will exhaust me a bit but nothing but a good night's sleep can fix it, but if I go all out then I'll be in a coma for a week due to exhaustion." Naruto explained as Sonia made an 'oh' expression. Naruto noticed four familiar faces coming, one annoyed Haqua, a happy-go-lucky Elsie, a calm Haku Yuki, and one shy Shinobu. "I see you girls finally made it!" Naruto said as he caught Haqua's scythe by the blade barehanded. "That wasn't very nice Haqua." Naruto said teasingly as Haqua gritted her teeth in annoyance. "Now now, try to kill me after the parade if you mind?" Naruto said as he kicked the scythe out of her hand and onto one of the roofs. Just as Haqua was going to strangle the blond, Nione appeared in a Mexican outfit with three more boys dressed similar right behind him. "Alright boys, time to get this party started!" Nione shouted as Elsie cheered with him.
As the audience gathered at the edges of the streets, they saw Sonia waiting in the middle of the streets and they all started cheering for her as she waved to them. That was then they heard…feet tapping? As everyone looked behind her at a good 10 feet distance, Naruto was tapping his feet in some sort of pattern and Sonia realized it was music notes to a song he was playing with his feet.
(AN: Sonia's lines are underlined, Elsie and the other girls are in bold while men are in italics, while Nione is all three!)
Baby, uh uh uh, uh-uh
Uh uh uh, uh
Uh uh uh, uh
Uh uh uh
That was then Naruto tapped again and this timed dragged his foot as Sonia sang to the beat
So slowly...
So slowly into hearts of those who
Need more than they get
Daylight deals a bad hand
To a penguin that has laid too many bets
That was then Sonia joined in the dancing with Naruto
The mirror stares you in the face and says
"Baby, uh-uh, it don't work!"
You say your prayers, though you don't care
You sing and you
Shake the hurt...
Dance!
That was then Naruto had a smile on his face as Sonia mirrored that smile just as Elsie and the girls came in with a few men that were part of the show.
Boogie wonderland!
Ah, ah, dance!
Boogie wonderland!
Midnight creeps so slowly into hearts
of men who need more than they get!
Daylight deals a bad hand
to a women who has laid too many bets!
The mirror stares you in the face and says
"Baby, uh-uh, it don't work!"
You say your prayers though you don't care!
You dance and shake the hurt!
Dance! (Mambo!)
Boogie wonderland!
Dance, dance, dance! (Mambo!)
Boogie wonderland!
The song had gotten out of control as it moved out to Konoha's shopping district as the song continued with Nione leading it.
Check it out! Check it out! Check it out!
Yo soy Raul, pingüino mas "cool"
Latino por supuesto 100% español
My brothers ¿Que?
Luego me llama una señorita me enciende como flama
La fiesta, baila baila muchachita, mi corazón tiene dinamita
!Boom¡
!Exacto, dejame ser tu papi pingüino¡
!Booyaka, booyaka¡
Just as Nione's part was finished, Konohamaru who was ditching class for a new prank decided to join in on the action.
(Mambo!)
This resulted in many civilians and a few ninja off duty to join in on the song with delight and joy. Apparently the Third Hokage noticed the commotion and made one mental conclusion…"Naruto seems to be involved with this somehow…". Kakashi and Sasuke noticed the commotion and saw Naruto leading the parade while dancing made Sasuke and Kakashi wonder how he was able to make that possible and Kakashi was also thinking on the lines of "so this is how Naruto escapes capture from the ANBU".
All the love in the world can't be gone (Mambo!)
All the need to be loved can't be wrong (Mambo!)
All the heartsongs are playing
And my heart keeps saying,
"Boogie wonderland,
Wonderland!"
Dance! (Mambo!)
Boogie wonderland (Mambo!)
Ah, ah, dance! (Mambo!)
Boogie wonderland (Mambo!)
While he and Sonia were dancing in the middle of the crowd, Naruto decided to speak "So, anyone know any other words that end with and O?" Naruto asked as Sonia giggled. "I can baby, and its…Narut-O!" she said as Naruto started tap dancing and once he stopped, the entire parade followed it. He then went on to another pattern with one foot and they followed shortly afterwards. Then Naruto smiled like he became the God of the Universe and started tapping his feet rapidly as they all watched until he stopped. When he looked at them, they tapped once and Naruto gave out a whoop before they all started to boogie the morning away.
*Noon*
As the dancing finished and everyone went back to their business, we see a laughing Naruto as Haqua is seen with her scythe trying to whack or slice him with Elsie, Sonia, Haku, and Shinobu following close behind trying to stop her from killing Naruto. "Stay still! This won't hurt…much!" Haqua shouted as Naruto vanished in a yellow flash right before her eyes only to trip on…..a log? "Gotta love the Substitution jutsu!" Naruto shouted from the roofs before leaping away with Haqua flying after him leaving the others alone. Shinobu noticed someone tapping her shoulder and she turned to see…Naruto? She was about to ask but Naruto beat her to it, "I'm a clone of him sent to help you girls enjoy a day off of being an idol, librarian, shinobi, and cousin who acts like a little sister while the boss deals with Haqua and her childish tantrums." The clone said as he pointed to a nearby building. "Who's up for some karaoke!" the clone shouted as the four girls pumped a fist in the air and shouted "We do!" and they all ran in to have fun.
*with the original*
Naruto Uzumaki was having a blast with Haqua, here we see our blonde hero dodging every swipe from her flame enhanced scythe as she keeps trying to (and epically failing to) kill the blond. "What will it take for you to stay still damn it?" Haqua demanded as Naruto grabbed her hand that was holding the scythe and looked at her with a cold serious face that immediately caught Haqua off guard as the expression he had on his face was the same as Keima's when he was still alive.
"Now that I found someone who is knows Hell, can I ask you some questions?" Naruto asked as he was too close to the District Chief's face causing her to slightly blush and she pushed him back a bit. "You're too close to me and I don't like it." Haqua said as Naruto gave her some space to herself. "So are you willing to help me out with my questions?" asked Naruto as Haqua thought of it for a minute before smirking. "Only if you beat me at a game…" Haqua said as Naruto had a hidden Devil Smile under his serious expression knowing that he can see the ending of this game of hers.
"Alright, what game is this?" Naruto said as he felt like things are going to end in his favor for some reason. Haqua smirked and pulled out a round object and opened it revealing a board game that looked similar to battleship, "It's called Neo-Hellian Almagemachina! You are split between the Devils of New and Old Hell and whose team is eliminated first loses! And I haven't lost to anyone for thousands of years. The only one who was able to beat me was Keima Katsuragi." Haqua said while saying the last sentence quietly as Naruto thought of something for a minute before developing a devious grin that would make the Kyuubi and Old Devils green with envy. "Alright, I'll play…But the loser has to do whatever the winner asks!" Naruto declared causing Haqua's heart to thump at the sudden déjà vu. "A-anything?" Haqua said before throwing on her game face. "Okay, if I lose then I'll do anything you say! I'll teach you there's always someone above you!" Haqua said "This idiot doesn't even know the rules to the game yet." She mentally added as Naruto pushed his invisible glasses. "There is no "above"…I am God!" Naruto said.
*few minutes later*
As the audience who heard their conversation earlier stayed to see who would win after hearing the bet, they see a very surprised Haqua as her team was taken down and Naruto was declared the winner while said winner had a sly look on his face and it unnerved Haqua a bit. "Well Haqua, a deal a deal so it's time to pay up kukukukuku…" Naruto said with his eyes shining mischievously as Haqua slowly backed away "Wait, wait! I know I said "anything"! Just not "anything" okay!" Haqua said as Naruto gave her a confused look. "Why would I do something perverted like that if that's what you're thinking. I wanted to know what happens to the souls of the Weiss and the humans that Leviathan eats." Naruto said as Haqua settled down a bit. "Well the Weiss souls are reborn as Devils of New Hell and help out with the situation going on since they have no memory of their previous life after their purification and the purified human souls go to Heaven, that's all." Haqua said while Naruto looked…disappointed. "Oh well, next round!" Naruto shouted as the civilian audience began making bets on who would win the next round while a certain white haired Sannin began writing in his notebook furiously.
The second match once again belongs to Naruto as he whistles innocently "Now what should I do with you?" he asked out loud while many male civilians said to take her to the red light district…only to be whacked by their girlfriends or wives as the girls said "Take her on a date!" Apparently Naruto liked the idea. "You shall go on a date with me!" Naruto declared causing Haqua to go wide eyed as the male half of the audience handed their bets to their wives or girlfriends who were smirking triumphantly. "So I'll have one more match with you before the date." Naruto said as the women half of the audience grabbed their boyfriends/husbands by the ears and dragged them off to give them private time. A few more minutes later the game board had announced that Haqua had once again lost as said girl had bubbles at the corners of her eyes. "Why can't I win once? He's just a beginner!" Haqua said as Naruto had a golden aura around him and four more arms which was his "God of Conquest" Form. "The last request is a secret~!" Naruto said with a finger on his lips and one eye closed causing Haqua to dread what the final one is. "Now onto the date!" Naruto shouted with a finger in the air.
*With the Naruto clone and girls*
"Ah! Now that was fun wasn't it girls?" asked the Naruto clone as the girls nodded. "Yeah, thanks Naruto-kun/san/nii-sama." Said the girls as the clone began escorting them to the dancing streets of the musical district.
*With the Real Naruto and Haqua*
Here we see our blond Capturing God leading Haqua to the musical district again and lead her to a dancing street where couples who love to dance go to…well dance with romance involved. "Why here of all places again Uzumaki?" asked one embarrassed District Chief as our protagonist smiled. "Well I wanted to dance with you because I thought you would enjoy it like earlier today. And its Western music they are playing here today." Naruto said which surprised Haqua as she smiled. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to have some fun every once in a while." Said Haqua as Naruto went to a stand and paid for something and gave Haqua a headset mike. "What's this for?" she asked, "We are going to dance to "Hit Me Up" while you sing it. You do know the lyrics right?" Naruto asked teasingly as Haqua smirked "Please, I know every Western song before you were born so I know I can handle it." Haqua said as she put the mike set on and Naruto put on tap dancing shoes and began tap dancing to start the song as Haqua began to sing.
Baby baby, just a little bit
baby baby, just a little more
baby baby, let me see ya
walk to me talk to me handle me right!
I did cause a commotion
I can't help but make a scene
I ain't lookin for somethin permanent to get at me
Tell you what it's gonna be
You better step up your game
Before you can step with me.
Then many street dancers who came to have fun decided to dance to the song
Can't you see me walkin through the door?
Maybe I should turn it up a little bit more
I can't help but feel responsible
For what the girls hate
And the boys adore.
Say "Hey!What's it gonna be tonight?"
come hit me up
come hit me up
Say "Hey! Party with me tonight."
come hit me up
come hit me up
Say "Hey! We've been running all night!"
come hit me up
come hit me up
I know you feel it cause you checking me right?
come hit me up
come hit me up
baby baby, just a little bit
baby baby, just a little more
baby baby, let me see ya
walk to me talk to me handle me right!
I walk in jaws all be droppin
It's so electrified
Don't mean to intend my date
don't mean to make you lose your mind
If you want this work it for this
show me that you got what's right
you better make an impression
you won't get another try
Can't you see me walkin through the door?
Maybe I should turn it up a little bit more
I can't help but feel responsible
For what the girls hate
And the boys adore
To follow the song, Haqua started flirting with the male dancers causing the female dancers to glare at her.
Say "Hey! What's it gonna be tonight?"
come hit me up
come hit me up
say "Hey! Party with me tonight."
come hit me up come hit me up
Say "Hey! We've been running all night!"
come hit me up
come hit me up
I know you feel it cause you checking me right?
come hit me up
come hit me up
baby baby, just a little bit
baby baby, just a little more
baby baby, let me see ya
walk to me talk to me handle me right!
Uhoh hey
Uhoh hey
Uhoh hey
that was then Naruto saved her by being her dancing buddy and launched his own winks at the female dancers causing them to blush while Haqua felt a pang of jealousy.
Say "Hey what's it gonna be tonight?"
Come hit me up
come hit me up
say "Hey! Party with me tonight."
Come hit me up
come hit me up
say "Hey! We've been running all night!"
"What's it gonna be tonight?"
I know you feel it cause you checking me right?
Come hit me up
come hit me up!
Say "Hey! What's it gonna be tonight?"
Come hit me up
come hit me up
say "Hey! Party with me tonight!"
Come hit me up
come hit me up
say "Hey! We've been running all night!"
Come hit me up
come hit me up
I know you feel it cause you checking me right?
come hit me up
come hit me up
That was then Elsie and co, saw Naruto and Haqua dancing wildly on the dancing streets and decided to stalk them to see what was going on.
Baby baby, just a little bit
baby baby, just a little more
baby baby, let me see ya
walk to me talk to me handle me right.
baby baby, just a little bit
baby baby, just a little more
baby baby, let me see ya
walk to me talk to me handle me right!
As the song finished, Haqua was already out of breath and Naruto had an amused expression on his face. "What's wrong? Can't handle the power of music?" Naruto said as Haqua glared at him. "As if! I'm going to see this through!" Haqua said as Naruto looked a nearby food stand. "Well, let's get something to eat then." He said as he added a "My treat." Line which is one of his secret ways of winning a girl's heart…in fact only the best men use those lines to get the girl which Haqua, who is unaware of the pickup patterns of an expert womanizer (it is true since Naruto was kissed by 5 girls so far). As they were about to take a seat, an old man in a filming director's outfit came up to him and Naruto noticed the look in the old man's eyes and recognized them as a man who lives in the filming world and is a demigod level if his seventh divine sense was scanning correctly.
"Are you Naruto Uzumaki?" the man asked as Naruto nodded, the man smiled "I am the director of the Princess Gale series and I have heard of the legendary Capturing God who can do almost anything and make the impossible possible and I would like you to appear in my new movie along with Yukie Fujikaze. And I won't take no for an answer as I have set this as an A rank mission and your Hokage approved." The man said as Naruto sighed and looked at Haqua. "Want to join me? You get to see the other side of my life as a shinobi." Naruto said as Haqua started to think about it before nodding her head. The man smiled and led the two towards his studio elsewhere in Konoha.
As Naruto went to the Hokage tower to see if the mission is official (which it is), Naruto left the tower to see the sight of a waiting Haqua and a group of curious girls that went by Elsie, Haku, Shinobu, and Sonia while his clone was scratching his head sheepishly. "Ni-sama, what's going on?" Elsie asked with the infamous puppy eyes which with Elsie's cuteness, makes a lethal weapon. "Well I have to go on a mission and Haqua wanted to see what makes me special in the ninja department." Naruto said as Elsie nodded before Naruto thought of something, "Why don't you stay at home this time Elsie, even you need a break from the life of a shinobi right?" Naruto asked as he sometimes notices Elsie sneaking off at night trying to train by herself as a ninja so she can be helpful besides capturing spirits. "I suggest staying with a friend for the time being and if you find something out of the ordinary, let me know when I get back." Naruto said as Elsie nodded and saluted him knowing he can handle anything, after all he is God.
*one day later*
It was morning on a nice ship heading to the Land of Snow as suddenly, a loud scream was heard as Naruto smirked and Haqua sighed. This actress has becoming a pain and to top it off, she has a runaway spirit in her! "I know the main reason for the gap Haqua, I can see it in her eyes." Naruto said as Haqua looked at him. "Really?" she said sarcastically, "And what is this gap then?" Haqua asked as Naruto looked at her straight in the eyes and she froze. His eyes were icy blue and she felt like she was in a blizzard while wearing a bikini (which is an insane idea so do not try this at home kids!). "She is trying to run away from a past that haunts her and it lead to a cold, emotionless person she is today." Naruto said as Haqua began to ponder it. "So if we can make her face her past there, then the gap will be fixed?" Haqua said as Naruto nodded. "Of course, there are some things that love alone cannot do to fix the heart's aches." He said as they watched Yukie acting on the ship. "Still though, I wish you didn't have to use a wrestler's K.O finisher to knock her out, which was just cruel." Haqua said as Naruto just smiled happily at that memory. "I wonder if he's a sadist." Haqua thought as a sweat drop formed when Naruto smiled at that memory.
*Back in Konoha*
"No Elsie, not that kind of sugar!" shouted one Kage Bushin Naruto as Elsie tried to use sugar from hell to bake sweets while he was teaching Shinobu, Sonia and Haku who were watching them while carefully cooking their own sweets. So far Elsie tried to cook a microwave over a fire, use these weird eggs as one of them hatched into a dragon and escaped and is currently being chased by the Anbu Black Ops. Now they are watching the Naruto clone teaching Elsie about what types of ingredients and said something about "using human ingredients, not Hell ingredients!" for making a cake.
*Back with Naruto and Haqua*
Naruto had the sudden urge to face palm for no reason at all as he was gathering chakra in his right hand. Haqua took notice of this and became a curious little mouse as she saw an unstable spiral sphere made from this "chakra" as it was called suddenly burst causing the air to twist violently. "Damn! Even when the fur ball told me how it was done, I still need the right amount of control in it!" Naruto muttered as Haqua noticed burned marks on his hands, and the looks of it, they were not fresh at all. "Ano, Uzumaki-san. What are you working on exactly?" Haqua asked getting his attention as he smirked. "I'm trying to recreate the Yondaime Hokage's Rasengan. But I'm currently in a pickle at the moment." Naruto said as he tried to forge the Rasengan again in his hand again and it looked a little more stable than the last time.
"Where did you learn it from exactly?" Haqua asked as Naruto began recalling meeting the Kyuubi a little afterwards when he conquered Sonia. That fox sure knows how to party! It was fun getting the fox drunk and he was surprised that the fox was once sealed in his own mother and his dad was the Yondaime himself! Being a genius he kept those secrets to himself until he is able to take on the world and show them why he is called the God of Conquest. Soon, the world will belong to him!
*daydream of Naruto's*
Here we see Naruto with a scepter in his hand and a crown as he began his speech to the cameras while sitting on his throne. "Attention entire world! Hear my proclamation, I am Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze. Emperor of the Whirlpool Empire and your only ruler! The Uchiha clan has surrendered to me, as a result of this; I am now in control of the Jinchuuriki and the Biju weapons. And even the Shinobi Army no longer possess the strength to oppose me now. If anyone dares to resist my supreme authority, they shall know the devastating power of the Biju. Those who could challenge my military rule no longer exist. Yes, as of today…the world belongs to me!" Once those words were said, everyone in the world panicked and silently prayed for a miracle as Naruto made a gesture and it seemed that he was pointing to all of them. "Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze herby commands you…obey me subjects, obey me world!" he declared as Elsie raised her fist in the air in salute. "All hail Naruto!" As she said that, every devil of both old and new Hell chanted "All hail Naruto!" over and over again as Naruto laughed.
*back in reality*
Naruto chuckled getting a confused look from Haqua and he made a wink that said "Sorry, can't tell anyone." Which made her put on a pouting face as she got even more curious of him. "You are one mysterious enigma Naruto Uzumaki. A puzzle that I wish to solve." Haqua thought with a tint of pink on her left cheek. As the shipped stopped at the site of an iceberg blocking their path, the director took the chance to use it as a stage for filming making Haqua wonder what was wrong with that man as Naruto looked at the iceberg curiously. "Strange, this iceberg was made from chakra combined with the coldness in the Land of Snow…This is going to be one hell of a party!" Naruto thought with a shit-eating grin as Haqua looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Just as the filming was going smoothly, Snow ninjas appeared and Naruto saw a familiar color of pink. "Sakura? What the hell are you doing here? If you're here to ask me where Sasuke is then…" Naruto stopped as he noticed something wrong, "Hey you're not Sakura…you have boobs." He said
*meanwhile in Konoha*
Sakura was busy cutting her hair and she suddenly punched the mirror in front of her with a pissed off expression. "Why do I want to kill Naruto when he gets back?"
*back to the action*
"How the hell can you mistake her for your teammate you idiot?" Haqua said as said idiot shrugged. "What? How many pink haired kunoichi can you think of right off the top of your head?" Naruto asked as many of the present crew and ninja sweat dropped at that. "Wait a minute." The big Snow ninja said, "Aren't you Naruto Uzumaki, the Capturing God?" he said as the other male member of the group looks at Naruto. "Well he does look like him in the bingo books…though I thought he would be a lot…taller." He said. Bad choice of words as the next thing he knows he was being beaten up with Tsunade level strength from one pissed off Naruto Uzumaki. "Who the hell are you calling short pal? What else are you going to call me? A dwarf? A midget? A little person? I'll kick your ass from here to Wind Country you backwatered frost headed idiot!" Naruto shouted as the other two Snow ninja were cowering at the brutality that Naruto was displaying but they had one thing among their minds…"He didn't say any of those things…"
Just as Naruto finished his "revenge" he suddenly glared at the other two and they suddenly froze, "I know you were thinking that I'm short too didn't ya?" Naruto demanded as they shook their heads no with their arms up. Naruto smiled at this, no this wasn't his usual smile…it was the Doom Herald smile that invited unbelievable pain and suffering "Nice try, but I do not like being taken for a fool…" he said as an ominous black aura surrounded his very being and Haqua swore he was a Weiss reincarnated as she shivered in fear as the other two suffered severe trauma from a horrifying Demon Chicken of Doom that clucked madly with glee.
*after the horrifying pecking and clawing that followed later on*
"Uzumaki-san, that must be one of the most disturbing and horrifying things I have ever seen in my entire life as a Devil of New Hell." Haqua said as she looked at the two unlucky victims of the clucking horror that was insanity incarnate. "And I thought it would be painless for them." She muttered as Naruto heard her. "I didn't say for whom though, but these guys will need some serious therapy after what that clucking horror of a chicken did to them." He said as said victims twitched violently and curled into balls wishing for their mommies. "Can we just get on with the mission please? I want to have my sanity intact when this is all over." Haqua said as Naruto nodded before creating 50 clones that landed on the iceberg with the Snow ninja still there. "KATSU!" Naruto shouted as a massive explosion destroyed the iceberg in a mushroom cloud as everyone there looked at the site in awe. "That's right, bow down to my awesomeness!" Naruto declared as he started tap dancing again as the ship began to set sail as Naruto caught a strange pink sphere that was launched from the smoke his explosion caused and stored it away as a souvenir.
"…my life was all an act and I still haven't shed any tears yet!" shouted Yukie Fujikaze who was revealed to be an actual princess named Koyuki Kazahana as she was lying down on a couch as Naruto was busy writing in a notepad with glasses on. "I see, so you're basically running away from your past. Not the brightest thing to do." Naruto said as she glared at him as he kept on going. "You need to suck it up and face your past so you can move on without any regrets. I'm sure that once you avenge your father's death by defeating your uncle, he can finally move on into the afterlife without worries." He said as Koyuki raised an eyebrow. "What are you, a medium for ghosts?" she asked sarcastically. "No, I'm actually a ghost whisperer and those ghosts don't give me a break until now." Naruto said as Koyuki looked at him like he was crazy. "No I'm not crazy and I can tell you why your uncle is after you since your dear old daddy paid me a visit when you were knocked out thanks to me." Naruto said while smiling when he gave Koyuki a wrestler's finishing move, which caused said woman to develop a sweat drop and wonder if he's a sadist not knowing someone else thought the same thing earlier before.
"So what is he after then?" she demanded as Naruto pointed to her crystal, "He wants to use your crystal to unlock the family treasure of the Kazahana family and keep it to himself while trying to do the old villain cliché of taking over the world stuff." Naruto said like it was everyday stuff which caused Koyuki to sigh in exaggeration, "Why is every bad guy in both real and fake worlds always want to take over the world?" she thought with annoyance while wondering what the treasure is. "Well we will have to defeat your uncle and then find out what the treasure is, because your father said it would be a surprise for you when you unlock it and mention it would be your true happy ending." Naruto said as Koyuki scoffed, "There is no such things as happy endings, only in fairy tales and movies." She said as Naruto chuckled. "Trust me, when helping someone out, I always see the ending. After all, I am God." He said as Koyuki pinched the bridge of her nose now, "Just what I needed, a weirdo with a God complex!" she thought as she could have sworn angels were bowing in front of the blond knucklehead.
Just then, hell broke loose as the ship exploded causing chaos and panic everywhere as the ship began to sink, luckily the filming crew had escaped with their filming gear into a life boat and were filming on what was going on as the ship sank into the ocean with a massive wave coming forth. Haqua was flying in the air trying to look for Naruto and Koyuki and noticed something in the massive wave, it was Naruto using the wood of the ship as a surfboard with Koyuki in his arms as they surfed their way to Snow Country. "That idiot, how in the hell did he make that giant wave to surf on?" the genius thought as she sensed chakra in that giant wave.
*with Naruto and Koyuki*
"Hang on dude, this is be on knarly of a ride man!" Naruto said as he held Koyuki in his arms who was currently screaming her head off, this is the first time for her to surf and it had to be in a cold place huh? As they landed on shore on a rocky area, they met an odd group of men with an accent that were called the Amigos. They were in awe at what Naruto did and respected him and they decided to take them both to their village that was currently in a wild party. "Hey stretch, you like to party?" the leader Ramon asked. "Yeah I like to party how about you Koyuki?" Naruto asked as Koyuki rubbed the bottom of her chin "I guess so." She said. "Well stick with us baby because we practically own the action around here." Ramon said as everyone in the village shouted Mambo. "Wow, everyone here is so…spontan-you-us." Naruto said as Ramon like the idea. "Spontan-you-us yeah I like it. Our food supply has gone loco but it ain't going to stop no party!" he said as Naruto and Koyuki joined in on the party as they went up to a mountain top boogying while they were at it.
When they reached to the top, Naruto showed Koyuki how to tap dance while they were at the edge of the mountain and when Naruto jumped, the ice broke causing him and Koyuki to fall and they used the block of ice as a snow board while the Amigos looked in awe. "Man those two are so accidentally cool!" they said as they got their gear and jumped after them.
That was then things went crazy as more ice started to fall due to Naruto's antics and now everyone were trying to escape from an avalanche and avoided it in a tunnel where they began laughing. "Man I feel like reminiscing." Naruto said while Ramon said "Remin-icing?" that was then everyone slipped down a massive hole sliding as the avalanche found them and continued its pursuit of them as they continued through the tunnels and escaped it…only to find out they were free falling! "Hang on guys!" Naruto said as they free fall with the avalanche right behind them. When they noticed a slope for sliding on with their boards, they took that chance and they managed to avoid being crushed by the avalanche as the surfed on air in pure epic proportions. When they landed, they noticed Haqua and the film crew who were filming them looked with their jaws dropped at the epicness Naruto had brought them.
"I know you like it so bow down to the awesomeness I have brought!" Naruto said as the Amigos and the director bowed at his feet feeling like they were in the site of a God, causing Haqua, Koyuki and the filming crew to sweat drop.
*DORODORODORODORO*
"I don't know how that idiot convinced me to do it but somehow I have to kill him." Muttered Koyuki as she was held prisoner in her uncle's fortress, which was pretty cold as well. "If you didn't agree to the plan, then you would have ran away again before seeing your uncle." An amused familiar voice said from outside the prison cell which caused Koyuki to look and see the smug look of Naruto Uzumaki. "Shut it blonde, if it wasn't for these bars I would strangle you badly." She said making Naruto look at her with a curious look "With your legs?" Naruto asked causing Koyuki to blush and punch him in the face through the bars. "No you idiot, with my hands!" she shouted completely embarrassed. Naruto recovered from the punch and pulled out Koyuki's crystal necklace. "Ready to stick with the script to the finale?" asked a mischievous Naruto as Koyuki mirrored his expression. "Time for the grand finale…" she said as they planned their escape…with Naruto leaving behind an army of clones to self-destruct.
As they went to the throne room where her uncle is waiting, Koyuki secretly stole one of Naruto's kunai and hid it in her sleeves as she performed her act by delivering the crystal to her uncle and stabbed him in the stomach while they fell from the high perched throne.
Her uncle landed on his feet and grabbed Koyuki and removed his robes to reveal Chakra Armor as the kunai broke in two causing Naruto's eyes to narrow. "So you're the famous Capturing God and God of Conquest, not much to look at from a shrimp." Doto said as Naruto developed a massive tick mark. "Who the hell are you calling so small you can crush like an ant!" Naruto shouted clearly pissed off that someone once again called him small much to his annoyance and he vowed to make the man pay for it. Doto chuckled and his armor sprouted wings and he took the struggling Koyuki into the air as he made his getaway with Naruto in pursuit with the fortress blowing up leaving a massive crater in its wake.
*Rainbow Glaciers*
As Doto placed the crystal necklace in the slot which activated the glaciers that temporarily glowed in a rainbow color, he and Koyuki noticed that the place started warming up and ice was beginning to melt. "A heat generator? This is the treasure of the great Kazahana clan?" he asked clearly angry as Naruto was riding a snowboard with the Amigos following him from behind. "You guys know what to do so split!" Naruto said as the Amigos scattered around the place. Doto who was still angry decided to take it out on Naruto and went through some hand signs, "Ice style: Black Dragon Blizzard!" he shouted as his fist launched a black dragon with red eyes and a red maw charging at Naruto as he was hit head on which caused him to sink into the water.
Haqua appeared behind Doto and used her robe to restrain him while Ramon used the pink sphere Naruto gave him and hit the chest plate of the armor as it started to crack. Annoyed with the rebels, Doto broke free from Haqua's restraints and knocked Ramon out while the other Amigos grabbed his limbs and tried to hold him down as the felt the floor shake as suddenly, an army of Naruto clones rose out of the ocean all clearly pissed off. "It's payback time with interest pal!" the clone army shouted as Doto broke free again and launched a Twin Dragon Blizzard jutsu which wiped out the clone army. "Game over you little brat! It's all over!" Doto exclaimed as he laughed while Koyuki noticed something in the smoke as Doto noticed it too.
"Not yet it's not, because let me tell you something pal." The real Naruto said as he held a sphere of spiraling chakra in his right hand "It isn't over until the villain is defeated and justice prevails, because this story is going to have a happy ending!" shouted Naruto as Haqua tried to restrain Doto again. "Do it now Uzumaki-san, while I still have a hold on him!" Haqua shouted as he nodded and Koyuki believed he could do it. "Naruto! I believe in you! You are by far, the most strongest ninja I have ever known!" she shouted out as Naruto smiled at her "Of course, I could have told you that!" he replied as he charged at Doto as the sun rose in the frozen land causing the Rainbow Glaciers to glow brilliantly as the chakra in Naruto's hands shined into a rainbow color. Everyone couldn't believe that Naruto has rainbow chakra and he landed the finishing blow. "Take this, Rasengan!" he shouted as Doto's armor was destroy with him screaming in pain as he was launched to a glacier dead before falling.
That was then, magic was in the air as the area around them turned to spring, "Could this be…we're making this move 3-D!" The director shouted in awe at the works of the legendary Capturing God. That was then a recording of Koyuki and her father started playing out and they heard of how she wanted to be a princess and an actress, causing Koyuki to laugh with tears in her eyes as the spirit in her body flew out and was captured by Haqua as she landed by Naruto's side. "Now that is a happy ending." Naruto said with Haqua nodding her head in agreement.
*Some time later*
After the celebration of the new Daimyo, Koyuki took this chance to talk to Naruto and Haqua. "The generator wasn't fully developed in the end." She explained. "Looks it will be back to winter season soon huh?" asked Haqua as Koyuki shook her head. "Not really, we will take what we know and continue our research, soon the Land of Snow will become the Land of Spring." Koyuki said as Haqua and Naruto smiled at that. "But what about you're acting?" Naruto asked as Koyuki giggled, "Don't worry, being a ruler and an actress." She said while holding the script to How to Capture a Princess from Naruto's How to Capture series "I think I can handle both. I mean I would be out of my mind to give it up now." She said with a smirk. "I'll see you again!" she said as she took off to sign her fan's autographs…Speaking of autographs, "Ano, Uzumaki-san. This is from Koyuki." Haqua said as she handed him an envelope which he opened and it revealed to be a picture of him and Koyuki tap dancing with Koyuki giving him a kiss on the cheek and saying Good luck with capturing all those girls and becoming Hokage Naruto-Koyuki Kazahana. Naruto felt the jealousy coming from Haqua and smiled, "Come on Haqua, one more song before we hit the road!" Naruto said as he got his tap dancing shoes one with the Amigos starting to play the instruments and every civilian and Koyuki started to dance with them while they sang.
Looking back on when I was a little nappy-headed boy
That was then Seemore, one of the Amigos sang a different song "It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from going under."
Then Nione and Koyuki danced together, "Bring it on! Go ahead!" he said as the song continued
Even though we sometimes
Would not get a thing
We were happy with the joy would bring
I wish those days
Would come back once more
Come back those days, those days
Come back, don't go!
Meanwhile in heaven, one Minato Namikaze who was dancing with his wife Kushina Uzumaki picked her up and they spun. "Come here, babe. Come on back, come on back~." They sang happily together.
Meanwhile Naruto and Haqua were at the end of the song together
Come on back
Come on back
Come on back
Come on back
"I love them, I love them. I love them, I love them!"
As they finale was on its way, a little girl who looked like Haqua with blue eyes and whisker marks on her face waved to the audience while she was dancing in between Naruto and Haqua.
"Those days, those days, those days, those days WHOOH!"
Suddenly, the screen went black.
"Aaaannnnnddd cut! That's a wrap!" shouted the director as the filming crew celebrated their final Princess Gale movie.
Omake: Naruto's Plants Vs Zombies
"Auh~ I did it again!" cried out one little devil by the name of Elsie Uzumaki as she, Sonia, Haku and Shinobu were hiding in Naruto's house as zombies tried to get into the house. "Geez, I'm gone for a simple mission and the next thing you know, Elsie accidently brings back the dead." An all too familiar said from right behind the girls scaring them as they turned around to see Naruto and Haqua looking at them. "Ni-sama! Z-zombies are attacking!" Elsie exclaimed as Naruto sighed. "There isn't enough time to plant anything so we'll have Sunny distract them while me and Haqua destroy them." Naruto said as Haqua brought out her scythe while Naruto created the Soul Reaver blade.
As the zombies began getting the door to open, a stage appeared in front of the lawn with a sunflower at the microphone and began to sing with the zombies dancing along.
There's a zombie on the lawn
There's a zombie on your lawn
There's a zombie on your lawn
We don't want zombies on the lawn
I know your type: tall, dark and dead.
You want to bite the petals off of my head
And eat the brains of the one who planted me here
I'm just a sunflower but see me power an entire infantry
You like the taste of brains and we don't like zombies.
Then a football zombie decided to sing along "I used to play football." Then a zombie with a traffic cone did a line "Road cones protect my head." "I have a screen-door shield." Said a zombie with a screen-door he took from the last house he ate at as Naruto and Haqua butchered them with the Reaver howling in delight as it devoured the zombie's souls while the rest continued singing.
WE ARE THE UNDEAD!
There's a zombie on your lawn
There's a zombie on your lawn
There's a zombie on your lawn
We don't want zombies on the lawn
Maybe it's time to reevaluate
I know you have a lot of food on your plate
Brains are rich in cholesterol
You're dead so it doesn't matter
Instead we'll use this solar power to make a lawn defense at any hour.
There was a fat zombie with a mining helmet and a pick axe looking at some kids tricycle with interest "I like your tricycle." He said as Naruto stabbed him with the Reaver causing the blade to devour the soul. Another zombie had yellow stuff on his head, "There's butter on my head." He said as Haqua sliced him in half with her scythe set ablaze while Naruto ran to the swimming pool seeing a zombie dolphin. "I'm gonna eat your brains!" it said as Naruto killed it with a Reaver Bolt attack releasing the soul that returned to the spirit realm.
WE ARE THE UNDEAD!
There's a zombie on your lawn
There's a zombie on your lawn
There's a zombie on your lawn
We don't want zombies on the lawn
As the song finished, Sunny the sunflower winked at the audience as Naruto and Haqua finished slaying the last of the zombies.
Omake End!
Challenge: Naruto's Plants Vs Zombies-if anyone is a fan of Naruto and loves the game Plants VS Zombies please write a fic on it!
One more thing…IS THERE ANYONE GOING TO WRITE A NARUTO-THE WORLD GOD ONLY KNOWS CROSSOVER FIC BESIDES ME? I'M ALL ALONE IN THIS SECTION OF CROSSOVERS AND IT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL VERY HAPPY IF SOMEONE ELSE WROTE A FIC HERE AS WELL! Next fic to update: Yin-Yang God!