Authors Note: You guys literally have no idea how bad I feel at how slow I am at updating this - Life is just so busy right now but like I said, I'm not abandoning this so can I just say a huge Thank You to all of you - I've read how some people get really nasty comments sometimes because they dont update quick enough so I'm really thankful to everyone who has this on their alert list that you didn't do that to me so thank you :)
I've figured out how I'm going to write this though because I started this story during the summer so I just used to write it whenever but now I'm back at College, its not that easy but I've found that during my breaks at college, when I'm not doing any work, I've got time to write this so a fair bit of this chapter was wrote in my Pukka Pad in my College Library - Fun fact for you ;P
So Of course, thank you to everyone who reviewed, alerted and favourited - you literally make me so happy :) I've always thought that I could never write a story to save my life but you guys give me the reassurance that maybe I can so Thank you and i love you all(L)
So i got a really lovely review from 'battleofthebay89' and something they said made me really think. They said they found it interesting why I wrote that Santana went instead of someone like Artie or Tina etc and hopefully it would be explained so heres my explanation. To be honest, I spent a long time debabting who would go with Finn, Mercedes and Rachel. I thought people like Artie and Tina would be a bit too obvious, I wasn't quite sure how close people like Puck, Sam, Lauren etc would be to Kurt and I knew I didnt want The Warblers to go because I mostly associate them with Blaine and I always knew Blaine wouldnt be there so Santana was a bit of a random pick but it wasn't totally random because I love on the show, when we get to see her softer side and I thought that could be interesting to write about but then i thought of a little storyline for her in why she went which I'm actually quite proud of and really like so I hope when you guys read it, you'll like it too :) so thank you 'battleofthebay89' because without your comment, I might not have ever thought of the little scene/story in this :)
I quite like this chapter actually so I hope you do too :)
OH MY GOSH! Do you guys know whats happening on November 8th in the Klaine world..Oh goshh that is gonna be gooood!;)
Disclaimer: I dont own Glee :/ my life would be beautiful if i did.
Reluctantly, Blaine had to admit to himself that once again, Kurt Hummel was right - and if he really thought about it, it wasn't a complete surprise to find that it did feel extremely good to be out of the hospital, to be in a different setting other than being confined in the confinements of the dreary hospital walls - It even felt good to drive again! But there was one thing that didn't feel good and never did feel good to Blaine and that was being miles away from his boyfriend - especially now.
The sun was beaming in the clear blue sky as Blaine arrived at the Michigan State University campus. As he pulled in to the car park, he had to take a moment to realize that it had only been two days since he was last here - it felt like it had been years. So much had happened in those two short days. So much had changed and Blaine himself had come back a changed person.
As he walked to his room, it suddenly dawned on him that David was still likely to be there. How am I going to explain this one he thought to himself. As soon as Burt had called him, Blaine had practically sprinted out of the room in a panic, only managing to answer David's "What's going on?" with a quick, splutter of a reply that sounded something like "I've gotta go". As he turned his key in the door and strolled into the room, it immediately became apparent that his best friend hadn't easily forgotten about his earlier great escape too.
"Ah! The prodigal son returns!" he dramatically announced so loudly, the whole block of dorms most likely heard the announcement.
Blaine shook his head in jest.
"Hey man"
"And coherent utterances too! Because you know, after last time, I wasn't quite sure."
"Shut up" Blaine managed to say as he laughed at Davids antics before embracing him into a bromance - like hug. He knew he was flustered when he left on Friday but David was making it out into something completely different.
"So, are you going to tell me what caused you to run out of here quicker than me at the sight of free food." Blaine couldn't help but laugh because David was probably the most laziest, slow moving person he knew but when he saw free food - boy could he move! "I was going to ring you but as soon as I got to your name, my phone died and I've kind of...lost my charger" he trailed off. Blaine raised his eyebrows, not surprised by this at all. "Scattiness" David simply said with a shrug. "What're you gonna do with me. It kind of explains why Jenna came round last night shouting the odds, saying how I kept ignoring her texts and calls - OH MY GOD I need to tell you how that one went down but yeah, I mean you got that phone call from Kurt so I put my earphones in cause I didn't want to listen to you two being all lovey dovey and then the next thing I knew, you were halfway out the door."
"Oh" Blaine said. "Yeah the-the phone call..." He started to scratch at the back of his head as he remembered that one phone call - where it all started.
Davids voice soon brought him out of his daze. "Blaine? Blaine? Dude are you okay?"
"Listen I...I need to tell you something" Blaine said as he walked over to his bed.
"Oh my god are-Blaine, are you breaking up with me?" David mock offendly said with a hand over his heart to make the sentence even more dramatic and ridiculous.
"Shut up you idiot" Blaine laughed as he patted the space next to him on the bed which was soon occupied by his best friend.
"Okay." he began. "Wow, where to start?" he said quietly to himself but obviously not quiet enough.
"Well, Julie Andrews always said that you should start at the very beginning because that's a very good place to start." David suggested.
"Did you seriously just quote 'The Sound of Music'? Really?" Blaine said in an amused expression to which David shrugged his shoulders. "Okay. So you know the - the phone call?"
"Yeah."
"Well it...it wasn't Kurt that rung me - it was Burt."
"Burt?" Davids eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Wha-why would he be ringing you? You and Kurt are alright aren't you?"
"Yeah of course we are you doofus. He...urm...this is where it gets tough" he whispered. David nodded - a silent "go on" of encouragement. "He told me to go back to Lima and that when I got there, I should go to the hospital."
"Hospital? What? Who-oh my god was-was it Kurt?"
"Yeah" Blaine said. Davids face screwed up even more in confusion. "That isn't even half of it" Blaine said in response. "So I get there and Burt takes me into this family room, saying how I needed to know before I saw Kurt."
"Know what?" David cautiously said.
Blaine took a deep breath. "That urm - that Kurt...has cancer."
Davids eyes widened as the room fell silent. As much as Kurt was Blaines boyfriend, Kurt was also Davids friend. They had been to school together for almost a year and had grown extremely close in that time. David was often the person who Kurt would bitch to if he and Blaine had just had an argument and Blaine would just talk to David about anything that involved his relationship with Kurt. They had all joked many times that David should be their own personal relationship consultant to which he always flat out refused claiming "I can barely keep my own relationships going, let alone you two's."
"I'm...I'm Sorry - what?" he whispered
"He um - he has Leukaemia." Blaine continued. "It's stage two at the moment but his doctor seems hopeful, but...I don't know."
After a few moments, without warning, David pulled Blaine into a consoling hug to which Blaine welcomed.
"I-I don't know what to say" David solemnly admitted as he rested his chin on Blaines shoulder.
"I know. It's okay."
"Can I just ask you one question?"
"Of course"
"What the hell are you doing here?" David asked.
Blaine laughed as he pulled away to face his friend. "Kurt he um, he practically kicked me out of the hospital saying that I needed to finish packing."
"Well...hate to give it to him but, he has a point" David said as he looked around the room, Blaines half packed boxes scattered on the floor on his side of the room.
"You're not helping." Blaine simply said. "And your a fine one to talk" Blaine said as he looked around the room at David's side where it was obvious that David had made no attempt to pack. "Pot, have you met kettle?" He quipped.
David scoffed. "Come on, I'll give you a hand - the quicker you get it done, the quicker you can go back to Lima. Besides, we both know that what Kurt wants, Kurt gets."
"Okay, come on then, what gossip have you got for me? Anyone shacked up in the last couple of days? Mercedes - have you and Sam got your acts together yet?" Kurt cheerfully said attempting to hide any trace of sadness he was currently feeling, about Blaine being gone, about still being in the Hospital, about everything.
"Kurt" Mercedes pleaded quietly. He stared at the three girls at the side of his bed who all looked pitifully at him.
"Oh please don't start acting weird around me" he said but their facial expressions remained the same. He knew they wouldn't simply just drop something as big as this so begrudgingly, he waved his hand for them to sit around the bed. Mercedes and Rachel sat either side of him, clasping each of his hands in their own. Santana resided next to Mercedes whilst Finn stood at the end of the bed.
"Okay" Kurt started before taking a deep breath. "So what do you want to know?"
"Well how are you for starters?" Rachel said as if it was the most obvious question ever to have been asked.
"Erm...I'm - I'm okay...I guess? As good as can be at the moment anyway" he smiled sadly at them. As he looked intently at each of his friends, he noticed a single tear trickle down Mercedes cheek.
"Hey" he whispered as he squeezed her hand. "It's going to be okay" he said to assure her as much as himself.
"Kurt I...I-I'm just - I'm so scared" she whispered. Although there were three other people in the room who could still quite clearly hear the whispered conversions, this was clearly a conversation only meant for the two best friends.
"I know. Me too." Kurt said honestly. "But I promise you, as long as I'm alive and Marc Jacobs is still designing clothes, I will fight this with everything I have. Since when have you ever seen Kurt Hummel give up on anything hmm?" he nudged their entwined hands as he smiled at Mercedes, her worries slowly subsiding.
"I love you"
"I love you too boo" he said.
So um, what did - what did the Doctor say this morning?" Rachel asked.
"Ah, do you want the short version or the long version" he quipped. "Well, he basically said that I have what they call Acute Leukaemia which is why this has all happened so quickly because it develops in days or weeks and its stage two at the moment which isn't good but its not bad at the same time and then overall, I start Chemotherapy treatments next week on Friday."
They all sat in silence as they processed what they had just heard.
"The end!" Kurt proclaimed in a hopeful attempt to break the silence but consequently failed. "Come on guys, I know you're scared but right now, I need your positivity - not your pity. That's what's going to help me right now. Especially as Blaines not back until Wednesday."
"How is Blaine?" Mercedes queried.
Kurts face always lit up when he talked about his boyfriend and despite the circumstances, this was no exception. "He's okay - at least, that's how he's acting with me but truthfully, I'm not too sure actually - I know he's trying to be strong for me and I'm being strong for him too, you know. He's been so amazing you guys - I'm not even exaggerating when I say he's been my rock these past couple of days. He's hardly left my side." Kurt suddenly felt a wave of sadness come over him as he realised that by his side was the one place Blaine wasn't at this very moment. Although the last part of his comment made him slightly sad, it was met by three warm smiles.
"San? You okay?" Kurt asked as he noticed her distant expression.
"Yeah. Yeah of course." She quickly replied but Kurt eyed her with suspicion. "I'm - I'm going to go get a drink from the shop - can I get you anything?"
"Yeah actually now that you mention it, can you get me some Tropicana please - I have had it up to here with water."
"Sure. I'll be right back." She said before she was out of the door seconds later. Finn sensed Santanas eagerness to get out of the room - he knew the feeling all to well - he had done it himself hours earlier.
As Kurt, Mercedes and Rachel carried on engaging in their conversation about Blaine to which Kurt gladly welcomed, Finn excused himself with the lame excuse of "I'm going to let you guys catch up."
As he walked around the hospital in search of Santana, he soon found her standing against the wall adjoining to the shop, one leg resting on the wall and one on the floor. She clutched the two drinks in her hands whilst her arms remained folded across her chest. As Finn got closer, he noticed her tear stained cheeks.
"Have - have you been crying?"
She straightened herself up and wiped her eyes, attempting to hide her sadness.
"What do you want gigantor?" she sniffed.
"You're not the first person to run out of that room today you know." She smiled sheepishly at him, as if to say 'sorry'. "You okay?"
"Urgh, not really" she said truthfully.
Ever since their Junior year when Santana, although for her own personal gain, created a way for Kurt to transfer back to McKinley, the two had grown extremely close. By their Senior year, they considered each other as one of each others closest friends. Kurt was the one person who supported Santana and helped her to be truthful about who she was to herself as well as to other people. Santana was pretty sure that if it hadn't been or Kurt, her and Brittany would not be together today and so she was forever grateful to him.
"It um - It just brings it all back, you know." Finn tilted his head. "My - my Granddad had cancer when I was 13 and he - he died in this very hospital." Finn slowly realised the reasons for her behaviour - it was all to familiar for Santana. "I mean it was sad, of course it was, but he was 73 - he'd lived his life and he'd lived a good one - Kurt's 18, Finn. I've watched what cancer can do to a person, how it can just ruthlessly eat them up inside, but I never, never once thought that I'd have to watch one of my closest friends, someone I love, someone so...so young go through it."
Finn didn't quite know what to say. "You - you know Kurt's not going to give up. He's not gonna let this beat him, okay?"
"Cancer's not just like having a cold Finn - you don't just take some tablets, sleep it off and it goes away in a couple of days. This - it's...it's strong. Too strong for some people to handle. No matter how strong they normally are."
"I know. But one thing I know about Kurt and that I am completely sure of above everything else, is that he is not a quitter. The best we can do is just be there for him." He took one of the drinks from her hands so he could replace the beverage for his hand.
"It makes me feel guilty too, you know. All the times I was horrible to him...I...it all just seems pointless and so stupid now and..."
"You couldn't have known Santana. None of us could. Besides, as much of a bitch you can be at times - you know we wouldn't have you any other way."
Without hesitation, they embraced each other into a hug. The two who once before, never got along, now saw each other in a different light after having probably the most heartfelt conversation they had ever had.
"We've been gone ages." Santana commented as they pulled away.
"Well we'll just say there was a long queue." She nodded with a smile. "Come on." Finn said as the two walked along the corridors and back to Kurt.
Blaine and David manoeuvred expertly around the room as they carried on packing Blaines personal belongings into the countless marked boxes around the room. Not a single word had been spoken for a few hours but the two boys were okay with that. David didn't want to pressure Blaine into talking about Kurt and Blaine understood that David would need time to fully process the devastating news - they respected and knew each other well enough to know when nothing needed to be said.
It was nearing six o'clock before they mutually decided to retire for the night. David returned from the kitchen clasping two steaming mugs of coffee in his hands - a well deserved reward after a fairly busy days work.
"You read my mind" Blaine exclaimed as he eyed the two mugs in Davids hands.
"You underestimate me sometimes" David said as he perched himself next to Blaine on his bed, simultaneously handing him a mug. Blaine inhaled the wondrous scent that was drifting out of the mug.
"It's so good to smell real coffee again" he said before taking a sip. "Mmm, to taste it too."
David gave a slight chuckle in acknowledgement. he took a sip of coffee before protectively clasping his hands around it and holding it in the lap of his crossed legs.
"So...urm, do-do you want to...maybe...talk about it?" he slowly asked" I mean you don't have to if you don't want to, I completely understand." he quickly defended.
"it's okay" Blaine said. "Talking about it won't make any of this less real so it-its fine"
David gave Blaine a slight smile. "So...urm...is - is Kurt going to ha-have Chemo?" he asked as he stared downwards, not wanting to meet Blaines gaze. He heard his best friend exhale.
"Yeah he-he starts next week." he simply replied.
"And what happens if-if that doesn't..." he trailed off as he realised his own thoughts and worries were suddenly not private anymore. The words came spilling out before he could stop himself. He didn't want Blaine to have to think about what could happen if the chemotherapy didn't work.
With all of his heart, Blaine wanted to say "it will work" but he knew that unfortunately, that wasn't a guarantee.
"I don't know" he whispered instead.
The two boys settled into a silence before David spoke again.
"How are you? I mean I'm-I'm so stupid, I didn't even ask you earlier." Davids worried stricken eyes made Blaines heart break. His best friend was usually so confident, loud and eccentric.
"I-I don't even know - Terrified, depressed, in denial at some points, just...everything. I mean, what are you supposed to - how are you supposed to, especially Kurt, how are you supposed to deal with something like this? I mean, is there a right way? It just feels like in seconds, your whole life changes and your outlook on life changes too - everything you thought you knew...suddenly you're not so sure and little daily worries just suddenly become so pivotal." He took a deep breath to recompose himself. He could feel the tears relentlessly pushing their way into the forefront of his eyes. "This is all just so...wrong. Why him Dave? Out of everyone in the world, all the bad people who do shitty things every single day of their lives and don't think twice about it, why Kurt? Why my innocent, beautiful, kind 18 year old boyfriend. 18 David. He's 18 - his life has barely begun and now someone's telling me that it could end if he doesn't get better."
David could tell that Blaine was becoming more hysterical as his breathing became more strangled and tear after tear glided down his cheeks. David took both of their mugs, placed them carefully on the floor and pulled Blaine into a consoling hug. He buried his face into Blaines shoulder as Blaine repeated the action. Whilst rubbing his back, David could feel his best friends unsteady breathing as his body jerked up and down in an attempt to calm himself but David knew this was exactly what he needed.
"Just let it all out." He whispered. "Let it out."
"I-I can't lose him David, I-I just can't" Blaine said through his tears causing David to hug him tighter.
The two remained like that for several minutes. Slowly, Blaine started to come down from his hysteria and started to calm down. As he pulled away, he brushed the remaining unshed tears from his already red, puffy eyes.
"That's the first time I've cried." he revealed " Like, really cried."
"You needed it." David simply said "Holding in everything just makes everything harder. Everyone needs a good cry at some point and you my friend, are most certainly entitled to one at this minute."
"I've cried once and that was in front of Kurt, when I found out, but I-I don't want to cry in front of him - I don't want him to have the burden of carrying my pain as well as his own...that's the last thing he needs right now."
"Blaine, I think the last thing this is, is a burden - and I know Kurt would agree with me. You two have always been totally honest with each other, and you shouldn't stop now, especially now."
"Thank you" Blaine whispered.
David shrugged his shoulders. "It's what friends are for." he said. "I'm going to go order us a pizza - Pepperoni?" David implied, knowing that as that was Blaines favourite pizza topping, the answer would be a resounding yes.
Blaine gave a slight laugh under his breath as he carried on wiping the tears from his eyes. He looked up at David. "with extra cheese" he added.
"Done and done" David said before walking out of the room.
Blaine had never loved David more than he did in this moment in time. He had helped him pack, listened to him, comforted him, reassured him and was now buying his favourite meal in an attempt to cheer him up. He was now and forever would be, grateful towards his best friend. As he sat alone in the room, he thought about Kurt. What was he doing? Was he okay? How had his day been? Blaine knew he loved Kurt more than anything in the world and didn't doubt for one second that he probably couldn't live without him. It was in that moment however that he realised, that he knew didn't and wouldn't ever want to.
The next few days were busily filled with hectic packing and meticulous cleaning. These tasks kept the two boys so busy that Wednesday had arrived quicker than they realised. As David helped Blaine carry out the last of his boxes to the car, Blaine hugged him, thanking him again for all of his support in the past few days and promised to meet up with him soon.
As Blaine began the long journey back to Lima, Ohio, all of his thoughts were centred around Kurt and it seems Kurt was just as eager to see his boyfriend too because as soon his boyfriends black Dodge Caliber pulled into the driveway of the Hummel-Hudson household, Kurt bounced out of his chair and ran to the door. Blaine hadn't even put on the handbrake before he noticed Kurt, standing eagerly in the doorway with a beaming smile - a smile that was reserved only for him.
"Honey, I'm home" Blaine quipped as he walked towards Kurt.
"You are indeed Mr Anderson" Kurt replied before truly welcoming him home with a kiss the two had both equally been longing for after been deprived of any for three long days. As they pulled away and brought their foreheads together, The two of them couldn't help the natural smiles plastered across their faces as Kurt repeated "you are indeed."
The two boys spent the Wednesday and Thursday unpacking Blaines boxes into Kurts bedroom. Although Kurts bedroom was now 'his bedroom' too, he still daren't unpack a thing until he double checked with Kurt of it's rightful residing place. His boyfriend was very particular.
After countless times of joining the Hummel-Hudson's for dinners, Blaine couldn't help but realise how different it all felt now. He wasn't just sitting at the dinner table as Kurts boyfriend and as a guest in the house - he was sitting there as one of them. He truly now felt a part of the Hummel-Hudson family.
As Burt and Finn hurriedly excused themselves from any cleaning duties, claiming "there's a game on" and Carole cleared away the plates and started to load the dishwasher, Blaine and Kurt strolled out of the dining room, hand in hand and out into the back garden. The night sky was overwhelmed as it was illuminated with thousands of glistening stars and the luminous crescent shaped moon. Blaine and Kurt sat under a tree situated in the back garden. They leaned against the bark and Kurt buried himself into Blaine as Blaine wrapped an arm around his shoulders. They gazed into the sky in awe.
"It's so beautiful" Kurt commented
"Just like you."
"Dork."
"You know you love it" Blaine defended.
"Nope. But I do love you" Kurt sincerely said.
"I guess the feelings mutual." Blaine remarked before leaning down to place a gentle kiss to Kurts lips.
"This time last week, I had just graduated High school and had a whole future ahead of me to look forward to but now, tomorrow I start my first round of chemotherapy treatments. Great week huh?"
"You still have a future ahead of you." Blaine said in his attempt to comfort Kurt
Kurt scoffed "Yeah, a future filled with vomiting, tiredness, hair loss and everything else imaginable."
"Well whatever happens, I will be right by your side throughout it. I promise."
"I'm scared" Kurt whispered.
"I know. Me too."
"Do you know anyone who's had chemotherapy before?" Kurt asked as he looked up at his boyfriend.
Blaine froze and was hesitant to answer. Should I answer? He thought. Blaine didn't want to worry Kurt but he certainly didn't want to lie and as David reminded him days earlier, they had always been honest with each other. Kurt picked up on his hesitation.
"Blaine? You do don't you?" he asked.
Blaine had wanted to avoid this conversation with Kurt because he didn't want one persons experience, out of millions of peoples who had chemotherapy and were perfectly fine, to affect his boyfriends view of his own treatments, but Kurt was persistent and Blaine knew he wouldn't easily drop the subject.
"My Granddad had it when I was 11."
"You don't have a Granddad" Kurt thought aloud but then he realised from a previous discussion the two boys had shared before. "Oh, he-he's the one who died isn't he, when you were 12?"
"Yeah" Blaine whispered.
Blaine noticed that at the moment, Kurt stopped talking. He avoided looking at Blaine and started to twiddle nervously with his fingers. This was why he wanted to avoid this conversation. Blaine took one of his hands and used brought his other hand to Kurts chin so that his hazel eyes were looking intently into his boyfriends blue eyes.
"You are so much stronger than he was though Kurt. Your younger meaning your body is much stronger than he was and his cancer was further along. And you have to remember babe, he had stage four Pancreatic Cancer and even the doctors will tell you that with that cancer, there's not much hope."
"Its just scary, you know. The doctors will tell you about the success stories, but they don't ever tell you about the people who aren't fortunate enough to make it"
"Then don't think about either of them." Blaine said. "Everyone will react differently to the treatment and yeah, some people aren't lucky enough to survive, but that doesn't, not for one second, mean that that's going to happen to you too. And I won't let it happen to you. You just have focus on yourself because you are all that matters in all of this."
"You always know what to say" Kurt smiled at Blaine.
Blaine pressed a kiss to Kurts forehead and rested his cheek on top of Kurts head. They sat outside for hours, without a care in the world because in that moment, they had each other and that was all that mattered, and they were going to face this, together.
Sooo...?
I really hope you guys liked this and it made up for my serious lack of updating which im still so, so sorry about :( And now that i've posted this, Im off to watch one of the four films I have to watch and analyse before tommorow for my film studies coursework - wish me luck :|
As much as alerts and favourites make me smile, Reviews make me smile too so review away my lovelys:) I look forward to reading what you thought :)(L)