A/N: In case you missed it, Graceland released the first promo for Season 3. No new footage was in it, but that just means the premiere date (whenever it is) is getting closer. Thanks to those that leave reviews, I'm always curious to know what people think...what works, what doesn't work :)

"Did you already ship Mike's things to his parents?" Charlie asked, sitting down next to Briggs on the sofa. Briggs had packed up Mike's room already and was handling his things.

"Yesterday, why? Did you find something else?" Briggs asked.

"No, but I wanted his ipod. Or his phone." Briggs looked at her curiously, waiting for her to continue. "I'm trying to put together a playlist for tomorrow and wanted to go through his music." Picking out music for Mike's memorial service was not something she'd ever thought she'd have to do. Not even last summer when Mike was under with Bello. It seemed like Mike had a gun pulled on him every time he met with Bello those first few weeks. She was still having trouble wrapping her mind around the fact that he was really gone. She remembered the first time she met Mike, he was so green and hellbent on following the rules. He changed. A lot. Maybe if he had followed a few more rules this time around, things wouldn't have turned out the way they had. Maybe if she had waited for a team before heading out to meet Amber, Briggs would've been at the Solano's to back up Mike and things would've turned out differently. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, resting her hand on her stomach.

"You could always ask Paige," Briggs suggested.

Charlie shook her head, "I don't think that's a good idea. She's devastated about Mike. This would only upset her."

Briggs sighed, resting his hand over hers, "She'll get through this."

"Maybe, but I've never seen her like this."

"She lost a friend, she needs time to grieve. She needs to say goodbye."

"Mike was more than just a friend to Paige, we both know that. Because if I ever lost you - "

"Don't even say it," Briggs said, cutting her off with a kiss. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You better not, because I'm not raising this baby alone." It was a little over a week ago that she had asked Mike to decide what to do about Briggs. Now that Mike was gone, she was second guessing her decision. Going through all of this was already hard enough. She couldn't imagine having to do this without Paul.

"Not a chance, Chuck," Briggs assured her, resting his hand on her stomach. "Hey, have you seen Paige?"

"Paul Briggs, don't you dare ask her about music!" Charlie said, pushing his hand away.

"I'm not, I just haven't seen her for a few hours. Did she leave with Jakes?"

"Johnny mentioned something about her wanting to go for a walk on the beach."

"Alone?"

"Yes, alone. She's depressed, not suicidal. I think it's good for her."

"I should go check on her," Briggs said, unsuccessfully trying to look out the window from where he was sitting.

Charlie watched him curiously for a few seconds and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "You're taking care of everyone and everything. Who's taking care of you?"

"Get a grip," Paige whispered to herself as she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous. It wasn't like she was being thrown out of the house. Silvo told her to take as much time as she needed to make her decision. But the longer she took to make it, the harder it became.

Paige slowly looked around the kitchen, smiling softly as she took in her surroundings. Johnny and Charlie were fighting over what to make for dinner. Jakes was going over some files with Briggs. It was really just another ordinary night, despite the fact that Mike's memorial was tomorrow. Her eyes lingered on the photographs on the fridge as she blinked back tears, not wanting to get lost in memories right now. There would be plenty of time for that later.

"Briggs, do you have a minute?" Paige asked.

Despite being in a different agency, Briggs was one of her mentors. Definitely one of the best agents she had ever worked with. She valued his friendship and trusted his opinion. She wanted to go over her decision with him. See if she was making the right decision. But maybe she was looking for someone to talk her out of leaving.

And that right there was why she needed to leave. She couldn't stop second guessing herself. Couldn't even figure out if she should stay or go. She used to trust her instincts. Used to have faith in herself. Maybe she would again someday, but right now she didn't. She needed a break or else she would break.

"What's going on?" Briggs motioned to the chair next to him and she sat down, glancing at Jakes who gave her an encouraging nod.

"I talked to Silvo today."

The smile faltered from Briggs' face and he nodded, "About what?"

"I think - I mean, man, I don't know," Paige whispered. "I just don't know anymore."

It had only been a few days and she realized she was rushing to make this decision and that she was the only person putting pressure on herself to make it. But everything was just so hard. She could barely deal without working. She wasn't sure how she'd cope once she went back to work.

Sometimes she was fine. She could go a few hours without thinking about Mike. Or think about him without crying. But the grief was there. Lingering. Threatening to surface at any moment. No way would she be able to focus in the field. One wrong move and her cover would be blown, compromising herself and anyone she worked with. But at the same time, she longed for the escape from reality. Longed to lose herself in the job and forget everything and pretend her problems didn't exist. She wished she could bury herself in her work and not have to deal with a reality without Mike. But even that terrified her. Because how could she forget about him? What if she forgot the sound of his voice? Or how his arms felt wrapped around her? How his lips felt on her skin?

"I'm going to New York for Mike's funeral. I should be there," Paige began, hugging her arms to her chest. "I got approved to take some time off. After - after the funeral," Paige shakily said, rubbing her arms to help herself focus. "I - I'm going to go stay with my parents for a little while. I put in a request for a desk job and it was approved. Silvo said I don't have to move out right away. I think he felt sorry for me." She hadn't intended to break down while talking to Silvo, but she had. She wasn't proud of that. Embarrassed, actually. "But I think it's for the best that when I get back from New York that I move. My brother said he'd help me move. I civilians aren't allowed upstairs, but I figured an exception was okay this one time."

Briggs sighed, resting his hand on her arm. "You know, I don't think that's a good idea, you..." his voice trailed off and he reached for his phone and flashed her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, kiddo, I have to take this."

"You're joking right?" Jakes asked, glaring at him.

"It's important."

"This! This is important!" Jakes said, motioning to Paige. His raised voice drew the attention of Johnny and Charlie. "Paige is important!"

"So is this," Briggs said, answering the call. "Talk to me."

"Unbelievable," Jakes muttered.

Paige wasn't sure if she should be grateful or upset that Briggs blew her off. Should she be thankful that a phone call interrupted and gave her the chance to change her mind again? Or pissed that Briggs couldn't give her five minutes of his undivided attention?

Charlie walked over behind Paige and rested her hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

"You're really leaving?" Johnny asked, sliding into Briggs' now empty seat.

Paige leaned back, letting Charlie hug her from behind. Paige nodded. "I have to. I can't work undercover right now. I don't know when or if I can. I'm really going to miss everyone."

That was what she was going to miss the most. The friendships. No one else understood why they did what they did. Even other agents didn't understand it if they didn't work undercover. There was nothing like the thrill of being undercover.

"But after you do what we do - "

"Nothing else feels like real life." Nothing could match the adrenaline rush she got from being undercover. Knowing one wrong move or word and everything could go wrong. The excitement she got when she figured out the piece that tied together her case. The satisfaction of arresting her mark and making a small dent in the evil of the world. "I know."

Mike understood, even though he hadn't joined the FBI to work undercover. He definitely hadn't been asked to be placed here. Rookies like Mike were never placed here. It was too intense. Nothing like they were taught at Quantico. But Mike adapted surprisingly well, so well that he actually wanted to be in the field. Forced his way into an op when most agents in DC were content to sit behind a desk and climb their way to the top. But as focused as he was on his career, Mike hadn't wanted to sit behind a desk.

"I wish you'd stay, but I won't try to make you change your mind," Charlie said, resting her head on Paige's shoulder, lightly running her fingers through her hair. "I'm going to miss you."

Paige swiped at her eyes, "You'll still see me."

"You better not be a stranger," Jakes said, reaching across the table for her hand.

"You'll see me so much, you'll forget I moved out."

"Impossible," Johnny said, handing her a cup of tea. "We're going out for drinks at least twice a week. And we have to have a karaoke night."

She gave him a grateful smile and took a few sips, glancing across the room at Briggs. His back was to the group, but she could tell it was an intense conversation. He was speaking in hushed tones, but she could make out parts of the conversation if she listened carefully. Her roommates were chattering around her, making plans for them to hang out after she got settled in with her parents. Jakes was adamantly refusing to go to the karaoke night Johnny was trying to set up, but she knew his protests were nothing more than him keeping up appearances. One night after several shots of zombie virus, he revealed he actually loved karaoke then swore her to secrecy. Tuning them out, she focused on Briggs. Even though she could tell his conversation was important, it hurt that he brushed her off when she really needed his support.

"...testing for Sid's fingerprints..."

Paige tensed at that snippet of his conversation. Why was Briggs testing for Sid's fingerprints? Was he looking for evidence that Mike wasn't responsible for the bloodbath at the Solano's? Did he find something?

"...breathing apparatus..."

Breathing apparatus? What did that have to do with Sid? Sid was in and out of the hospital after getting shot. But, Mike's lungs collapsed during surgery. He had been on a breathing machine when he coded.

"Oh my God," Paige whispered, horrified as the pieces started falling into place. Briggs wasn't investigating what happened at the Solano's, he was investigating Mike's death. She dropped her cup and ignored the hot splash of tea on her arm as she pulled away from the table, pushing Charlie away in the process.

She did this.

Everything was a blur. She could hear their voices but couldn't make out the words.

"I did this. This is all my fault." She wanted Mike to pay through the legal system. Not with his life. Even knowing what he did. To Lina. The lies he told her. She never wanted him to die. "I gave him Mike's name."

"I sent you to Sylmar to wipe out that trash, but I didn't let you finish."

Oh God, what did she do?

"I wanted to say thank you."

"For what?"

"For saving my life with Sid."

"Well, you would have done the same for me." And he would've. But this conversation wasn't about MIke actually thanking her for saving his life. This was all part of the game. Part of his game to keep his cover intact. Pretend everything was okay between them when it wasn't. Because if they didn't pretend, they were fighting. Which was pretty much how they communicated nowadays.

"He would've killed me."

"I didn't - I didn't mean..." Paige squeezed her eyes shut as tears started streaming down her face. She did this. Mike was dead because of her. She burned him. She killed him.

"Mike Warren is hospitalized under the name Mike Richards."

It felt like everything was happening in slow motion. She could hear voices around her, but she couldn't focus. Couldn't open her eyes. Couldn't look her friends in the eye now that she realized what she'd done. She didn't deserve their friendship. Their trust. Compassion.

She deserved their hatred. All the blame. Everything was all her fault.

Paige felt a hand on her arm and her eyes shot open as she screamed, "Don't touch me!" Her arms were flailing in front of her, trying to push everyone away.

"Paige, baby, I need you to calm down," Charlie soothingly whispered, wrapping her arms around her from behind.

Paige struggled against Charlie's embrace, "Don't, I don't - what I - Oh God, I did this! I killed him! It's all my fault!" Paige choked out between sobs.

"Briggs! Get off the phone!" Jakes yelled.

Johnny got up and knelt next to her, reaching for her hand, "P, you didn't do this. You didn't shoot Mike."

"So what's this? You giving me another shot?" Sid asked, surprised.

Mike didn't die because of a gunshot wound. Sid killed him and it was her fault.

Sid took her literally. When she told him to take out the trash, she meant for Sid to arrest Mike. Only Sid didn't. She should've known. He tried to kill Mike at Sulla's. Of course he wanted Mike dead. And she handed Mike over on a silver platter.

"Breathe with me," Charlie said, taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly.

Paige took one deep breath after another, each one coming quicker than the last. As she struggled to catch her breath, Charlie kept encouraging her to breathe with her, but she couldn't. Charlie squeezed her tighter, but her tight embrace couldn't stop her from trembling. Her eyes darted around the room trying to find something, anything to focus on other than the fact that her heart was pounding out of her chest.

She felt like she was suffocating as she was gasping for air. Is that how Mike died? Is that what Briggs was searching for? Sid's fingerprints on Mike's breathing machine? Did Mike know? Was Sid's face the thing he saw before he died?

The room was spinning and she felt lightheaded, like she was about to pass out. Paige kept gulping in air, unable to regulate her breathing as she cried uncontrollably.

Mike died because of her. Not because he got shot by a Solano guard. Not because she didn't get him to the hospital in time. Because she turned him in. She turned him over to Sid, the one man that wanted to kill him. And he did.

Mike was dead and his blood was on her hands.

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