Authors Note: Guys be proud of me, this must be some kind of record since Summer at least because I got this chapter up exactly when I planned to have it up by:) I've been writing this literally whenever I can - on my breaks at college, at home (obviously), I've been typing it up on my phone on my breaks at work and then emailing it to finish working on my laptop - literally whenever I can so I'm happy and I only made you wait 3 weeks so that's not too bad :D
So, seeing as we've had 7 chapters, (8 according to FF) I'm sure you know what's coming at this point - Oh yes...Its time for me to say thank you :D So yeah Thank you to everyone who added this to their alert and favourite lists - Big love(L) and Big BIG love to everyone who reviewed(L) Once again, your reviews were just more than I ever could have expected - some of them even floored me to be honest - like I had three separate reviews use the word 'breathtaking' - that just means so much to me so seriously, thank you(L)
I just have a few direct mentions to make:
XIII13 - Even though they were for four different chapters, your reviews were such a lovely thing for me to see the other day:) I was so happy when I read them and about how you said you probably wont get bored of reading this again and again - well, I just cant even tell you how much that means to me so happy reading - again and again ;P And I'm glad you liked the part where Kurt told Blaine to go pack - I really liked writing that part too - made me laugh :L
battleofthebay89 - Hello old friend :D Well your review completely threw me a new one - I had no idea that writing something like that about Burt and Blaine would affect you so much - I just seriously hope that for you, I done it justice :) I'm so happy I wrote that now - I literally just thought of it one night and was like 'Yep - gonna add that in' but yeah, to then read your review and how you felt it filled a hole in your life relating to your dad - I just felt completely moved:)(L)
And to all of you who mentioned the cliffhanger - I'm sorry(L) forgive me(a) actually maybe don't forgive me just yet because theres another one at the end of this :D
I just wanted to say this because I haven't really before but yeah - I do try and make this story as realistic as possible. I honestly have very little knowledge about cancer and chemotherapy and I just about passed my Science GCSE so I don't really have a lot of medical knowledge so I do spent a lot of time researching everything because I do want to make this as realistic and believable as possible. That being said, my headcanon for this chapter is basically that Kurt already had a temperature and as he exhausted himself more and more, that's why he fainted because obviously noone faints from just cleaning - I know that :L so yeah - just felt like I needed to explain myself a bit :D
Disclaimer - I don't own Glee - sigh
The seconds that passed by felt like minutes. Minutes felt like hours and the hours just felt like days that would never end. Everything seemed to be crawling past so slowly, it was almost as if time itself had simply stood still because right now, nothing that surrounded Blaine mattered to him. As he tightly clutched his boyfriend in his trembling arms, it felt like an eternity had passed since he had heard the soft tone of his voice or seen two beautiful blue eyes looking right back at him and he silently prayed he would be allowed to greeted with at least one of the options some time soon.
"Kurt. Kurt please, wake up baby. I need you to wake up." His voice was starting to break and although he desperately tried to blink them away, a few tears escaped his own eyes. Never, in all of his life, had he ever felt as scared as he did right now. Now that Kurt was ill, every little thing came with a heightened risk to it. Normally if a person passes out, we all come to the same general conclusions, that they are dehydrated or it's too hot outside for them to handle or maybe it's simply over exhaustion but whilst holding Kurt in his arms, Blaines immediate thoughts were "What if he is starting to reject the chemo? What if the cancer has spread to one of his organs and we don't know about it? What if his body has just given up?" Kurt had only just been diagnosed a short time ago so he hoped and prayed with every fibre of his being that none of them were an option but he desperately pleaded for the last one to never be an option that they would have to consider but at this moment in time, he just didn't know. He'd heard stories of people who had been diagnosed with cancer only to then die a few weeks later because it had all been too late. He couldn't even think straight right now. Everything was so up in the air and even though it had only been a couple of minutes, Blaine was absolutely terrified.
"Kurt, come on, please just - just squeeze my hand okay? That's all you need to do" His eyelids shut tightly - he couldn't bare to see or feel no response from the motionless body in his arms. However to his complete surprise but most definitely not unwelcome, he felt the tiniest amount of pressure attempting to clutch tightly around his hand. Blaine warily opened his eyes.
"Kurt? Baby?"
In all of his nineteen years of living, Blaine didn't think he had ever been so ecstatic to hear some form of an unintelligible utterance. He could see the slight blinking movements in Kurts eyelids as slowly but surely, his dreams started to turn into a reality as the blue irises he so desperately longed to see slowly made themselves visible to the waiting world again and soon, they were staring straight into the anxious hazel ones.
"Oh thank god" Blaine breathed, lowering his head, leaning his forehead against Kurts.
"Blaine?" Kurt barely croaked out but it was there, Kurt was there. Blaine was laughing with a mixture of relief and happiness now. His name had never sounded more like sweet harmonious music to his ears.
"Yeah" he breathed. "Yeah baby, I'm here" The words coming out stronger because he was there and he always would be there.
Now that Kurt was awake, Blaines scattered, frantic thoughts allowed themselves to organize themselves and his head was able to actually think straight and so deciding the floor was definitely not the place for Kurt to stay, he wrapped one arm tightly around Kurts waist and looped his other arm under the crook of his legs and lifted him over to the sofa. Quick to be back by Kurts side, he dashed into the kitchen to grab the glass of water that they had poured only moments before the dramatic turn of events
"Here, drink this" Blaine gently encouraged, placing the glass into the palm of Kurts hand. He sat in a crouching position on the floor so that he was facing Kurt. He dipped his head to meet Kurts eyes.
"You okay?" he whispered.
Kurt gently nodded as he gratefully drunk half of the contents of the glass. He attempted to put the surplus beverage on the coffee table in front of him, however he was quickly stopped as Blaine promptly placed it back into his palm, encouraging "all of it" to be drunk.
"What actually happened" Kurt asked in-between sips "I remember walking to go upstairs and...and that's it really."
"You passed out Kurt - for about 3 minutes as well. You - you didn't even make it up a stair, let alone the stairs. So take your time in finishing your water but as soon as your done, I'm taking you to the hospital to get checked over."
The confusion that was currently swept over his face about what had happened earlier was suddenly replaced with panic. "What? No - no Blaine, babe I'm fine, honestly. Just - just give me a couple of minutes and then we can go back upstairs yeah?" he nodded his head probably a bit too enthusiastically and hoped that his pleading eyes would convince his boyfriend but Blaine was having none of it.
"Kurt, you can try every trick in the book if you insist but I am taking you to the hospital." he definitively said. The words weren't harsh, just certain but he softened his tone as he continued. He got up from his crouching position in front of Kurt and sat next to him on the sofa, taking both of his hands into his own.
"Look, sweetie, you're ill okay, and we both know that and you are far too important to me, and to Burt, Carole, Finn and everyone else to just let this slide and I won't just let this slide - I'm not taking any risks, at all. I'd rather you be safe than sorry, okay?"
"Okay" Kurt whispered in response, slowly nodding his head. He knew that Blaine was right but he simply wanted to avoid going back to the hospital if he specifically didn't have to go there by any means possible but seeing how much this had affected Blaine convinced them that a trip there was worth it if it put his boyfriend at ease and offered him the reassurance Kurt was obviously failing at convincing him of right now.
"I really do feel fine now though" Kurt continued to chant as he sat on the bed that was lifted highly off of the ground level, allowing Kurt to freely swing his legs backwards and forwards.
"Kurt, you were saying that you felt fine before you passed out, when you came round, in the car, while we were waiting at reception and now here and yet I'm still going to choose to ignore you and wait for a doctor to tell me you're fine - I told you, I'm not taking any risks" Blaine informed Kurt as he intently read an information booklet about the side effects of chemotherapy.
"I am fine though. I just want to go home."
"And I just want to keep you safe and sound and preferably in one piece ." He closed the book and made eye contact with Kurt. "So it looks like we both failed at what we wanted today didn't we?"
Hoping that Blaine wouldn't hear, under his breath, Kurt muttered "I am fine though."
"Still not taking any risks" Blaine loudly announced, amused that Kurt thought that he wouldn't be able to hear his quiet protest.
Kurt quickly surrendered his argument which led to a silence filled room. The hospital was almost becoming a second home to Kurt, yet he still hated the building with everything he possessed. Suddenly, the slight creak of the door handle being pulled down and click of the door opening caused their attentions to turn from what they were each previously doing to towards the door.
"Hi Dr Rolstone" Blaines polite manners never failing to show themselves in any social situation.
"Hello boys. Mr Hummel, it is far too soon for you to be back here." Dr Rolstone quipped as he entered the room, carrying a folder clearly labelled K Hummel which he was skim reading over. "So, according to what I'm reading, you passed out this morning for about 3 minutes - what had you been doing before it all happened?" Dr Rolstone enquired as he grabbed a spare chair from the corner of the room and brought it closer to the two boys.
Kurt laughed nervously as he shrugged his shoulders, knowing the possible reason that this all happened could have all been easily avoided if it wasn't for the small OCD side to him that was just screaming at him to clear up the mess his brother had made.
"Well I - It's kind of-"
"Cleaning." Blaine simply answered for him, cutting short any plan Kurt had of hoping to explain the situation in any round-about way he could think of. "He was cleaning of all things. I'd fallen asleep and he'd gone downstairs to get some water so that he could take his tablet and, well you see, Kurt's a little bit of a perfectionist, you know, everything has to be neat and tidy and everything has a rightful place whereas his brother, you met him - Finn, well he- let's just say he's the complete opposite and I guess you can fill in the missing pieces and finish the puzzle for yourself."
"So...let me make sure I have this right - basically, you allowed yourself to get so worked up to the point that you ended up passing out because your brother is a bit of a slob?" Dr Rolstone slowly said, running through the details in his own head.
"Well - It obviously sounds stupid when you say it like that" Kurt murmured as he hid his blushing face from the his boyfriend and Doctor.
"Kurt" The disapproving tone was so clearly evident in Dr Rolstones voice that the only thing Kurt could do was smile sheepishly at the man.
"Erm, Kurt had been complaining about being hot a little while before and I felt his forehead and it was really warm but I didn't get a chance to take his temperature - is, you know - can you tell us what was that about, was that another side effect of treatment?"
"An uncommon one but it can be" Dr Rolstone agreed. "You know at school when you would play sports in your P.E lessons or playing sports generally, but as you got more and more into the game, you would feel warmer but more tired at the same time?" They both slowly nodded. "Well it's the same principle. You might not have been doing anything that is normally too strenuous but your body is vulnerable and recovering from a major change to the system at the moment. You know, it's probably never been exposed to something as powerful as chemotherapy before and maybe after your second round, when you're actually used to it, you'll probably be able to do simple tasks like that-"
"But not right now?" Kurt finished the sentence for him.
"Not right now. Your body just needs a little longer to adjust" his Doctor clarified. "Kurt, I know this is hard for you. You're only eighteen years old but you have to know that all of this, the cancer and the chemotherapy, it's a psychological readjustment as much as it is a physical one. So even if you might think you feel good and dandy at the moment, just remember that you're body hasn't quite caught up with your mindset and won't be able to handle as much as you think it might can so really, right now, rest is your most vital asset."
"Told you" Blaine quietly sung but loud enough for Kurt to hear.
"Shut up" Kurt gently hissed, not wanting or having any intention at all in giving Blaine the satisfaction of proving him right.
"Sorry, what - what was that?" Doctor Rolstone chipped in
"Oh, no I was just gently reminding Kurt that he should really listen to me more often and to not be so stubborn and stay in bed when I advise him to" Blaine teased.
Doctor Rolstones nodded in approval as his eyebrows lifted from their dormant position. He pointed to Blaine and remarked "Well he is a keeper Kurt. Wise one you've got there"
Kurt scoffed as his eyes rolled backwards. "Don't flatter him - giving Blaine compliments is like telling a six year old that they're going to Willy Wonkas chocolate factory for a week." It was now Kurts turn to point at Blaine as he referenced the boy. "His ego in tow of a compliment?" Kurt gestured his hands outwards as he complimented it with an explosion noise, causing Doctor Rolstone to laugh and Blaine to shake his head insistently.
"Its not all compliments" Blaine defended. "Only compliments where it's proved that I was right and you were wrong because you know how conceited you get when you prove me wrong. Hurts to be on the other end of the stick, doesn't it?" A cheesy grin was plastered over Blaines face at this point. He also winked at him, leaving Kurt to only shake his head at him.
Doctor Rolstone laughed at the old married couple bickering playfully in his presence. "Just rest from now on okay. Don't overwork yourself - especially after your first round, the first few days, the first week at least are vital for you to allow yourself to recuperate and get your energy levels back up to a reasonable level - up to a level so that something like this shouldn't happen again. Besides, it should be great - being waited on hand and foot, not having to do anything, Blaine here at your absolute beck and call."
"Oh it's alright, he just does that anyway" Blaine quipped
Kurt shot him a slight death glare but his lips twitched upwards as he couldn't deny how true that was, particularly in the example of Kurt dragging an unwilling Blaine on several shopping trips over the time they had known each other but Blaine did it because above everything else, he would do anything to see Kurt smile and to make him happy, even if that did slightly classify him as Kurts own personal workhorse.
"Right now I'm going to insist on keeping you in for a few hours just to make sure we don't have any more hiccups and I might just do a blood test to make sure that we're still okay and there really isn't any underlying problems but as far as I'm concerned, there is no reason that you can't go home today but what are you going to do right now?" Doctor Rolstone encouraged.
"Stay here and rest?"
"Ah, he finally sees the light" Doctor Rolstone exclaimed before walking out of the room.
Kurt looked over at Blaine to find his boyfriend already has his best conceited look plastered all over his face.
"Okay, fine, just get on with your 'I told you so's' because I know you're dying to say it."
"No I'm not going to, but, you know-" he shrugged his shoulders "just saying I guess - lets just leave it at that."
"I'm sorry for all of this. I should've listened to you. I guess, I just felt...useless in a way? And that by just doing something, anything, you know, would make me feel...not useless. I know, I know - its stupid but, its just how I felt."
"Kurt, okay firstly - you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about, okay, nothing. I'm not going to say 'these things happen' because they don't just happen, but you're okay and you're safe and that's all that matters to me right now." He walked over from the counter he had been leaning against to be closer to his boyfriend, sitting opposite him on the bed like bench, taking his hands in both of his before he continued. "And useless? That is the last thing you are and it is the absolute last thing you should feel like you're being. The way I see it is you are a strong minded person and today you felt stronger than you have been feeling lately but your body just didn't agree - definitely not useless though."
Kurt smiled softly at Blaines words of comfort and mouthed a silent 'Thank you' which Blaine returned.
"I'm going to go ring your dad and let him know what happened and that you're here." Blaine said as he stood up.
"My dad doesn't even know I'm here?" Kurt exclaimed
"Well -I've been a little bit distracted" Blaine quickly defended. "Well we can tell you're definitely feeling better now - you're already having a go at me."
"I'm not having a go at you. Tell him not to worry though please because I know he's going to once you tell him." Kurt sighed .
"He's your dad - of course he's going to worry about you but I'll try and tell him anyway." Blaine assured before wondering out into the corridor. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it before swiping his finger across the screen, scrolling to find Burts work number in his recent contacts.
"Hummel and Tyres - Can I help?" a gruff voice answered shortly after a few rings.
"Burt, It's Blaine"
"Oh Blaine - you alright there kiddo - wait, wait, is Kurt okay?" The surprise that was originally evident in his voice quickly turned to slight panic.
"Yeah yeah, well I mean, he's fine now but...Burt he, he passed out earlier. He was downstairs in the kitchen and as he was going back upstairs, he collapsed by the bottom of the stairs. We're at the Hospital now and his Doctor said he's fine so don't panic but I just needed to let you know"
"Okay" Burt simply said, almost in disbelief, like he couldn't believe that while he was at work, all of this had happened to his son. "What-whats going on now?"
"Well he's going to be kept in for a couple more hours and I think Doctor Rolstone is quite keen to do a blood test anyway just to double check that there isn't anything else going on because he had a little bit of a temperature earlier too but, Burt he's going to be fine - Kurts already told me to tell you to not worry too much but you know, if it makes you feel better, come down here."
"I-I...I have to finish up with this customer and then I'm going to get Eddie to manage the shop but t-tell him I'll be there as soon as I can." Burt said, slightly tripping over his words, the confusion and fear he was feeling obviously affecting his ability to speak.
"Alright then. We're in room 156 and we'll see you soon" Blaine said. He was bringing the phone away from his ear before more sound came out of the other end, causing him to bring it back towards his ear.
"Blaine?"
"Yeah?"
"I-thank you. I'm so glad and grateful you were there" Burt said with all the deepest sincerity he could muster at that moment.
"Me too" Blaine agreed. "Burt? Please don't worry too much - he really is okay. We'll see you soon."
He hung up the phone and walked back towards the room. Kurt was looking around the room in wonder - there wasn't really much else to do but as soon as he heard the click of the door opening, his eyes shot towards the doorway. Before Blaine had even shut the door, he was bombarded with questions from Kurt.
"How is he? Is he okay? How did he sound?"
"Okay, one - he's okay" Blaine counted on his fingers. "Two - He sounded a little frightened to be honest. You know, I guess its just because this all happened when he wasn't there for you. He's going to get someone to cover the shop and he's on his way here after that." As Blaine finished, he noticed the slight distressed look on Kurts face. He went and sat next to him, cupping Kurts face in his hand, forcing the boy to look into his comforting eyes.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He softly asked.
"it's just - I know my Dad and I know, even if he doesn't show it, inside - he's going to be beating himself up over this and now I just feel even more stupid because I don't want to cause him any more extra stress than we already have on our plates right now and then I just think about what if something happens to him again - I just-"
Kurts distressed rambling was silenced as soon as Blaine brought the boy into his arms, Kurts face resting against his chest. Kurt instantly calmed down as he listened to the muffled but soothing sound of Blaines heartbeat through his dark green cardigan.
"It's okay" Blaine offered. He couldn't bring himself to tell Kurt that nothing would happen to Burt because if today proved anything to him, you never can know what to expect.
As the two waited patiently in the room, they amused themselves by talking about any random topics, playfully bantering and becoming very competitive in the various games they decided to play. They were in the middle of a very tense, focused game of Slapsies - Blaine only had to move his hand away one more time before it was going to be rewarded with a free slap from Kurt and from the shade of red both of his hands were starting to turn, he really couldn't afford to move it away one more time. Suddenly, the door opened and Burt shuffled into the room and Blaine couldn't have been more thankful.
"Oh well would you look at that. It looks like neither of us won - what a shame" The sarcasm so clearly evident in Blaines voice.
"You. Absolute. Coward." Kurt clearly enunciated at Blaine as he sat down in the chair next to the bed. "Hi Dad" His tone completely changing as he warmly greeted his father.
"Hey bud." Kurts heart instantly sank. He could just hear in his dads voice how much this had affected him and he hated it.
"Dad, I-I am fine. Honestly" He attempted to assure his dad.
"What were you even doing out of bed." If there was one thing Burt didn't do, it was beat around the bush and it was obviously where Kurt had learnt it from. "I mean ever since Blaine called me and when I was driving over here, it's been the one question going through my mind."
"Dad" Kurt sighed. He directed his gaze to anything around the room rather than look at Burts questioning eyes. "Please don't make me feel anymore guilty than I do right now. I-I was just getting a drink. It's not like I wanted this to happen, but it did and I'm fine now."
"I'm not ready to lose you" Burt whispered and the atmosphere of the room instantly changed.
"Dad, this - this was something so small compared to what could have happened but as long as I can help it, I'm not going anywhere. Besides, if I did, who would be on your case every time you try to get something thats clearly not in your diet?" Kurt joked, attempting to lighten the intense ambience that filled the room.
Burt scoffed. "You've got Carole pretty clued up on that" He exclaimed.
Kurt laughed. He immediately had flashbacks flood back into his head as he fondly remembered going through the kitchen cupboards with Carole shortly after Burt had been released from the hospital after his heart attack, taking out the foods they both knew that Burt would want but couldn't have and sitting on the sofa with her, looking through countless recipe books as they noted what meals were completely out of bounds and what could be reworked to suit Burts new diet.
"Well someone has to be in case I'm not here to look after you." He just meant if he was ever out of the house or away on holiday somewhere. He knew what he meant, they all did but now, given everything that had happened over the last few weeks, the words unintentionally had a completely different meaning to them.
"I-I...I didn't mean it in that way - at all. I-" Kurt tripped over his words.
Feeling he was slightly intruding on a father-son moment, Blaine stood from his chair with the intention of leaving the room for a little longer than necessary, giving Burt and Kurt all the time in the world to talk.
"I'm going to go get you some water or something - do you want anything else?" He asked Kurt.
Kurt knew what Blaine was doing and so he let his eyes express the 'thank you' he didn't want to say out loud and so he replied to Blaines initial question. "No I'm okay thank you" he softly said.
"Burt can I get you a coffee or anything?"
"Yeah actually - It's alright though, I'll go and-"
"No no, I insist, let me. I know how you take it so it's fine." Blaine said and walked out of the room before he could allow Burt to change his mind.
Blaine hated how familiar the hospital was becoming to all of them. Blaine had become very familiar with the surroundings ever since Kurt had been diagnosed but he had to always remind himself to a time before Kurt was diagnosed, when the hospital had become familiar to not only his boyfriend, but to Carole and Finn as well when Burt had been stuck in a coma for nearly three weeks. He always wished that he'd met Kurt by that point, even if they weren't together, he always thought about how much he would have wanted to have been there for him at a time from when Kurt had spoken to him about it, he knew Kurt felt so alone.
As he walked back towards the room with two bottles of water under his arm and a white polystyrene cup filled with steaming coffee, Blaine almost dropped the drinks as he spotted someone at the end of the corridor. Even though he had only been in the persons presence a handful of times, the well built formidable form was instantly recognisable, even from behind and there really was no mistaking who it could be.
A/N - IM SORRY FOR THE CLIFFHANGER - again(a)
Also there is some foreshadowing in this chapter for something that going to come much later on - I havent decided when its gonna happen but I thought of it a few nights ago and was like 'Ooooh' so watch out for it xD
So it's kind of my birthday tomorrow ;O - the big 18 xD so as a lovely birthday present to me, I would absolutely adore you if you just took a little bit of your time to let me know what you thought please(a) it'd be the best birthday present you guys could give me(L)
So yeah, please review - pretty please :D
Now I'm definitely aiming to have at least one more chapter up before the year is out so you can definitely expect one - its my own personal aim to have it done and I finish college next week so its all good :D Im doing butt loads of overtime at work because obviously of Christmas coming up and supermarkets are always busy - why did i choose to work in one :L but nothing will keep me from getting this next chapter wrote :)
Tumblr link = http:[.]/[.]theycanttouchus12.[.]tumblr.[.]com/ - obviously take out the [.]'s xD
Omg - Just in case I don't get this up before Christmas, Merry Christmas(L) And I hope everyone gets loadsa good presents and stuff yourselves with loads of Turkey, roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings and Pig in Blankets - Oh gosh I cant wait for Christmas dinner to be honest :L making me hungry just thinking about it :L
Right so, goodbye for now my lovelys(L)xx