Okay so I am currently balancing this and an essay on Jez Butterworth's play Jerusalem…. Kill. Me. Now

I apologise in advance for the angsty chapters coming up… Lexa and Clarke, mainly Lexa though, still have some issues to work through so yeah. Oh and TonDC will be brought back up as well. I hope you guys don't hate me too much when we get to those chapter ahah…haha…ha *looks around nervously*

College is getting more intense and I'm officially fearful for my life after a warning from one of my lecturers about, and I quote (no word of a lie), "If you miss one more deadline or get less tha will run you over in the carpark" O.O

So yeah that happened

Anyway enjoy the chapter :)

Disclaimer: Nothing is owned here

Clarke was reading. Her head was in Lexa's chest and she was lying between her legs on the floor of the library with Lexa leaning against the wall and running a hand through Clarke's hair. She couldn't get enough of the tranquillity of this place. They had been waiting four days for her mother to arrive and in that time her and Lexa had only moved to go to bed. Clarke had loved reading on the Ark and these books were so precious, she could only imagine what else might have survived if they had. Lexa had told her that, though she didn't make a habit of reading for fun like Clarke, she could at least appreciate the worth of these books. When she had found them she knew that they couldn't be destroyed; besides how dangerous could words on a page be?

Clarke didn't feel the need to explain that something like this held more power than one of Lexa's swords. Lexa could end a life but there were worse things in this life than death and a page could cause the emotional and mental pain that Clarke and Lexa both dread. Still she read and with every page she relaxed further into the tense girl holding her.

Clarke knew that Lexa would only feel fully relaxed when they were back home. Home. It felt strange just thinking it. That maybe after all this time Clarke had a home that wasn't a piece of metal floating in space or a crashed ship that held the difference between life or death. Her home was a person. It was Lexa. Though she wasn't about to admit that out loud.

A shift behind her and the relaxing of muscles alerted Clarke to the fact that Lexa had finally fallen asleep. She smiled to herself. Lexa had been refusing sleep since they arrived and Clarke suspected that it stretched further than their arrival in Polis. She couldn't help but wonder if Lexa had slept at all since mount weather.

Mount weather was over a week ago but it felt like a lifetime with how much had changed. Physically they were all healed or healing (In Raven's case still waiting long term) but Clarke wasn't fooled. She knew she wasn't the only person waking in a panicked sweat or jumping at loud noises. Clarke hadn't missed the nervous eyes of Octavia, or the wincing of Raven at the sound of a drill, even Echo had a distant, haunted look about her. But Clarke was worried most about Lexa. She had never fully dealt with the events of mount weather or anything that had happened in the war.

Lexa was trying there was no denying that. Her and Echo were trying to repair their lost relationship and she was trying to move forward with the alliance… but Clarke was worried about her. Abby had said that Lexa would have flashbacks but if she did then Clarke saw no sign of them and then there was the sleeping problem. No. Lexa was hiding. She was putting up her walls and burying herself alone in the hell of her past and refusing anyone else access to help.

Clarke was jolted forward as Lexa dragged herself from sleep. She sighed and looked to her watch. Five minutes. It was getting worse… Whatever it was. Lexa's heartrate beat quickly against Clarke's back before slowing down slightly as she slowly lowered herself back to the wall in an attempt to not alert Clarke to what had just happened.

She was about to breach the subject when the library doors creaked open and a figure appeared at the opening of the dimly lit room, "Heda"

Lexa took a deep breath and moved to stand. Clarke sighed and closed the book, moving to follow, "What is it?"

"The sky leader has arrived"

Lexa nodded and he left. She then turned to Clarke and smiled, "Are you ready?"

Clarke smiled back and nodded before placing the book back on the shelf.

XoXoXoX

Abby pulled Clarke into a long hug, "It's so beautiful"

"I know" Clarke gave her a grin before leading her into the meeting room where Lexa was waiting alone. The other leaders would be arriving soon and Lexa needed to explain how things would work.

Lexa greeted both of them and indicated to the table, "This is the alliance. Each commander has signed the agreement. It will stand until the laws are broken… If that happens than the clan will be removed from the alliance"

"What are the laws?" Abby eyed the twelve signatures and where a space had been left at the bottom.

"The lands of each clan will be respected; invading will be considered a breach of this, along with hunting on each other's land. If another clan is lacking the resources to survive and they ask for help then the other clans are obliged to help. We fight our own wars unless we need the assistance of the others or the war affects the other clans"

Clarke nodded, "Are there any other agreements?"

"A few" Lexa picked up a scroll and handed it to them, "They're not major but you would do well to read them"

Abby took the paper and opened it. Whilst she read Clarke turned back to Lexa, "Will we both need to sign the paper?"

"Yes… The alliance was made with you but to your people your mother is still in charge. For the sake of reasoning you both will be considered equal leaders in this alliance… Either of you can make a decision that concerns your people or ours"

Abby had finished reading and was watching Lexa, "How will this affect our living conditions with your people?"

Lexa bit her lip, "That is more difficult. You are still on our lands but because of our alliance I am willing to spread the lands over… Our people can continue to live how they do now, together, but I would also like to make Camp Jaha the new TonDC. If that suites you?"

"What would that entail?" Clarke knew Abby was wary of another war and TonDC had been the base of all the war decisions.

Lexa smiled at her reassuringly, "TonDC was where I made all the decisions for my people. Lands, food, protection… Now that it's gone I have nowhere to set this up. But if you aren't happy with this then I can chose another village"

Clarke was only too aware of what this meant. Lexa would have to be at the base of all her decisions, her home was TonDC, now she needed somewhere new to do this. If they said no then Lexa would live somewhere further out within her lands. If they said yes… Lexa would be around a lot more. Clarke knew which version she preferred but it wasn't up to her. She looked to Abby who seemed to be having the same thoughts.

"No it's fine Commander. Camp Jaha can be your new base"

Lexa seemed relieved as the door opened at the commanders filed in once more and, Clarke hoped, for the last time in a while.

XoXoXoX

Lexa entered her room with a heavy sigh. It had been a long day but it wasn't over yet. The celebration would be taking place outside of the city walls later on, Lexa was feeling apprehensive about the whole thing, she hadn't celebrated for a long time and didn't know if she could relax.

Her attention landed on her bed where Echo was watching her, "What are you doing in here?"

Echo stood and made her way over, "I need your help… Or advice?"

"Okay" Lexa moved to start taking off her armour, "What do you need?"

"It's less what I need and more what I want to know"

Echo helped her remove the shoulder guard and shrugged, "How did you know… With Clarke I mean… That it was worth it?"

"How did I…" Lexa's eyes widened, "Who?"

"Someone" Echo refused to meet her eye, "How do I know that it's worth it… That it's worth fighting for?"

It felt strange having this talk after everything that had happened between them. Echo was the oldest but they hadn't seen each other in so long… Lexa wanted this though. She wanted her sister back.

"You don't" Lexa pulled at her remaining pieces of armour and watched Echo, "You don't ever know if it's worth fighting for but you have to take the risk that it is… If you don't then you might regret it"

"Don't regret it" She added and Echo smiled thanks before moving to lead.

"Echo" She turned back to face her, "Bellamy is worth it"

Echo looked shocked and thanked her again.

XoXoXoX

Clarke was showing Raven the library when she brought it up. Finn had been the elephant in the room between them for so long and it was time for that to end.

"Raven-"

"Don't" She knew what Clarke was going to say just by the tone of her voice and she didn't want to talk about Finn. Not now, not with her.

Clarke sighed and stepped forward, "Raven please we need to talk about this"

"No we don't. You might want to but I don't want to ever talk about it"

"You said you understood" Clarke challenged.

"I did, I do, but that doesn't make it any easier Clarke. He was my family…" Her voice broke but she refused to give in to the tears, "He was my only family"

Clarke nodded gently, "I understand-"

"No you don't! You mum is fine, she's alive, and my mum never cared about me Clarke. Finn did that and now he's gone"

The tears were starting to show now but Raven didn't want that. She didn't want Clarke to see her tears. Too late.

All it took was for Clarke to pull her into a tight embrace before she was crying and once she started she couldn't stop. The tears kept coming and after a while she gave up trying to hide them. She let Clarke hold her and let her see this side of her.

"I hate you" she mumbled weakly.

"No you don't" Clarke pushed back and Raven nodded against her neck, "I know… but I wish I did… it would be easier to blame you, to say he didn't deserve it, rather than admit that everything he did was the reason he is gone"

"Finn was a good person Raven" Clarke pulled back to look at her, "He just made a mistake"

Raven shook her head, "Finn didn't make a mistake Clarke… He just couldn't handle Earth"

Clarke nodded again and pulled away, "I'm sorry for doing that"

"No" she took a breath trying to regain her composure, "No I'm glad you did. I-I've been holding back… I just feel so guilty every time I consider being with someone else and I think of Finn"

"I know but you can't live the rest of your life like that Raven"

"I know" Raven repeated and looked at Clarke, "Have you? Moved on I mean"

She cocked her head and smiled reassuringly, "I'm trying"

"Are you?"

Raven paused… was she? Sure she had slept with Wick but that hadn't meant anything and she had regretted it straight after. Octavia… She was another story completely.

"I don't even know"

Clarke made towards the exit and called over her shoulder, "Try it"

Raven looked to Octavia who was reading in the corner and smiled. Okay, she thought, I will.

And I plod on with this hahaha :) I hope you enjoyed this one

Like I said before all the chapters at the moment are about tying up loose ends that need to be done with before the big finale. You're going to love the next chapter guys ;)

Not saying anything more!