Authors Note - PLEASE DONT GIVE UP ON ME! My god I am so, SO sorry for how long it's been - I'm so glad i warned you all before though about my exams, like with them, coursework, college in general and going to work, it's just been crazy - I had one exam on the 10th so I spent every minute revising for that and as soon as that one was over, I had to start all my revision for the second one which was yesterday afternoon but they were my only two so IM BACK:) I booked this week off work so that I could focus on my exam and then because my exam finished yesterday afternoon and I didnt have to go to work during the evening, I came home and finished this :) But seriously, this story will not be abandoned so don't worry - I'm still here:) But this chapters 6,327 words so thats good right - a nice long chapter as an apology:)
So you know what's coming around here - Thank you to everyone who alerted, favourited and reviewed this story - I will never stop being grateful towards you all(L)
So i've been really excited to write this chapter since September so I hope you like it too! It's not even anything major - I just love Kurts scene in the hospital (I don't wanna say anything else to spoil it cause I want you to go read it for yourself) :) but that's another reason why this chapter is up seriously late because exams did get in the way and i wanted to take my time with this chapter and enjoy writing it without having to rush it because I've been thinking about it for so long so yeah, I hope you like it:) I really like this chapter actually and I'm definately much happier with it compared to the last chapter which im still dissapointed with :(
I think a lot of my britishness might have come out in this Chapter - Like the 'A' road and Whinfell Park so sorry about that :)
Disclaimer - I don't own Glee or Whinfell Park but I do own the original Character in this chapter and I love him so I hope you do too(L)
The subsequent weeks following Kurts impromptu hospital visit had passed by swimmingly. Everyone was more than satisfied that there had been no retreats back and when they weren't pleasantly bombarded with their friends visiting, Kurt and Blaine spent most of their day's curled up on the sofa watching pointless daytime television or alternating in their choice of a DVD. For about a week, Kurt developed a craze for playing "Rummy" after Blaine had suggested it one day. Kurt had never played it before but by their sixth round, Blaine wished he had never taught him as he was shouting "Rummy" triumphantly in nearly every round with Blaine claiming he was "just lucky". Blaine had even heard from David who called him to let him know that he was back in Ohio and was intending to visit both him and Kurt as soon as he was settled back in. Burt and Carole begrudgingly still had to go to work but they made it an absolute necessity to spend any spare minute with their son and making sure that he had absolutely everything he needed to be comfortable. Kurt continued on with taking the tablets that he had been prescribed and just as Doctor Rolstone had told him in their first meeting, the side effects didn't fully subside - he still woke up the occasional morning having to regurgitate the contents of his stomach but it was no where near as bad as it was in the first week. Life felt pretty normal again for these few weeks but quicker than they realised, it was time for Kurts second round of Chemotherapy.
"I told you we could have got away with leaving at ten past" Kurt protested as he opened the passenger door, stepping out into the warm, July atmosphere, with the sun making everyone feel the impact of the searing heat it was relentlessly giving off from thousands of miles away.
"And I told you that your Dad already told me this morning that the A34 road is closed because of that huge accident this morning and probably will be for another few hours. He saw on the news that the truck involved is still toppled over and the last thing we need is for you to miss your appointment just because we had to find a way of getting around it" Blaine defended.
"I know but I'm just saying that we could have easily got here for half ten in twenty minutes and now we have ages until our appointment - they probably won't even be ready for us yet."
"Well you know what you have that no one else does that will make the time go quicker, don't you?" Blaine teased as they approached the reception doors that parted gracefully for them.
"What?" Kurt asked cautiously as he played along
"Me" Blaine grinned as he playfully nudged against Kurts side.
"Oh wow, you're just the definition of humble aren't you? But I guess you'll do" Kurt teased as they neared the Check In desk.
"Oh Hi Kurt, Blaine" Debbie warmly greeted them as she spotted them walking towards her, obviously recognising them from the previous time they had been standing at the very same desk as Kurt recognized her as the woman who checked them in before, although he didn't know her name yet but he figured he probably would soon enough. "You're a bit early aren't you?" she said as she squinted at the clock on the wall.
"Yes, we are." Blaine didn't even have to turn his head to know that Kurt was indirectly talking to and about him. He didn't have to turn his head to see the look Kurt was sending his way - he could see it crystal clear in his head.
"Well I'm sorry that I didn't want you missing your appointment."
Debbie ducked her head as she laughed softly at the playful banter between them. She always found it inspiring when patients would walk through those doors and not be overwhelmed by the cancer and they could still be them, not forgetting everything that made them that person.
"Steph is just with another patient right now so do you both just want to take a seat in the waiting area while you wait? She should be finished within the next ten to fifteen minutes or so and I'll let her know you're here once she is."
"Okay, Thank you" Blaine politely replied before turning to Kurt. "Babe, do you want to just go sit down and I'll be back soon?" he suggested as he gently guided Kurt towards the open plan, fairly empty waiting area to the side of the reception desk.
"Wait what - why, where are you going?" Kurt inquired as they edged their way closer towards the chairs.
"I'm going to go pick you up some things for you to read during your session seeing as we forgot your magazines at home and I'll pick us up a couple of drinks as well while I'm there. Also, I really, really need to pee" Blaine admitted to which Kurt playfully rolled his eyes.
"Well then you better go then hadn't you? You don't want the nurses mistaking you for being incontinent and then admitting you onto the ward with all of the elderly patients with the same problem." Kurt winked
"Oh because you are so hilarious aren't you?" Blaine cooed teasingly.
"I am actually" Kurt said with a wide, amused grin on his face. "Go on, get out of here - I'll see you in a minute."
"You going to be okay?" Blaine checked and Kurts heart still fluttered at how protective Blaine was over him even for something as minor as going to the shop.
"I think I'll manage" Kurt smiled. Blaine closed the slight distance between them by pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek before walking away. Kurt turned on his heel to face the room and it was only then that he acknowledged then that the waiting room was practically empty, except for one person who sat quietly, looking down into his lap. As Kurt acknowledged the boy more, he realised that he was sitting in a wheelchair and not on the plastic row of chairs as he thought he had been. Kurt noticed that although his deathly pale skin made him look older than he was, he didn't look much younger than Kurt and he assumed that the boy couldn't have been much older than Seventeen. His head was completely bald, not even a single patch of hair visible to the naked eye. Kurt felt a pang of something in that moment that he just couldn't quite describe - was it sadness, or remorse or just plain fear that he was staring at what could be in store for him. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the intermittent buzzing from his pocket.
From Blaine
Okay I've got you 3 magazines and two bottles of water - is there anything else you might want?xx
Kurt started to move forward towards the chairs as he typed out a quick reply to Blaine asking him if he could possibly pick him up a little snack for later. He was so distracted that the wheelchair was nearer to him than he realised and he only noticed that he had bumped into it as the arm rest harshly collided with the top of his thigh.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry! Jeez I-Sorry I completely wasn't looking" Kurt rambled as he apologised profusely.
"I can see that" The boy said with a smirk on his face.
"I just, Oh god - I really am, I'm so sorry."
"Well maybe if you hadn't been so distracted by your phone, which you shouldn't even have on in here as they have serious effects on the hospital equipment" The boy gently teased
"That rule is such rubbish you know - it doesn't have any effect on the equipment, at least, it doesn't on this ward anyway."
"No I know, I'm just messing with you" The boy smiled, a smile in which Kurt returned.
"I really am sorry though" he clarified as he took up a seat next to the boy.
"You seriously apologise a hell of a lot don't you" The boy said, seeming quite amused at this whole exchange. "Its okay though, really. Besides, you're not going to be the one to kill me so don't worry."
"Well that's comforting, I guess?" Kurt said, not really knowing how to answer such a bold statement as that and so he settled for small talk. "I'm Kurt by the way" Kurt said as he extended a hand out to the boy.
"Seth" the boy replied as he graciously enclosed his hand around Kurts and gave it a slight shake.
As the two continued the hand shake, Kurt couldn't shake the niggling thought at the back of his head that this boy looked incredibly familiar to him. But he couldn't have known him - Kurt had never known of a Seth his entire life, but as he carried on looking at the boy, the thought just wouldn't go away. He had to ask.
"Okay this might sound completely crazy but, it's just you just look really familiar" Kurt said and as he finished the sentence, he couldn't help but think that Seth would probably think he was in actual fact, absolutely crazy.
"What even looking like this?" Seth teased and Kurts eyes narrowed as he desperately tried to recall where he could have seen Seth before. "I'll give you a clue - I go to Westvale, well, I used to anyway."
Kurt slightly gasped in realisation as he realised that yes, he had seen this boy before and he knew exactly where he had seen him too. "You were in Aural Intensity."
"The very same. You remember competing against us at Regionals last year then?" Kurt nodded.
"I think with a song like 'Jesus is a Friend of Mine', I won't be forgetting that performance anytime soon." Kurt teased which elicited a laugh from Seth.
"Yeah I'm not surprised that we came third" Seth confessed as he reminisced. "I feel sorry for the McKinley lot though - we only had Coach Sylvester for three - maybe four weeks and I just can't even begin to describe what it was like."
"I think I can imagine to be honest." When Seth looked at him, Kurt realised that Seth had seen him perform with the Warblers, not with the New Directions. "I went to McKinley." he clarified. "I transferred to Dalton for a few months and then went back. You know she called me Porcelain for two years straight."
"Are you being serious?" Seth asked incredulously and when Kurt confirmed this with a single nod of his head, the two burst into a fit of hysterics.
"You know, I guess it's safe to say this now that you're not my competition anymore but The Warblers were insanely good."
"Well I guess seeing as you're not my competition anymore either and although your song choice was questionable, you guys weren't so bad yourself."
"Ah well thank you. The boy you were with earlier, that was the same boy that you sung the duet with, wasn't it?"
Kurt was always weary of discussing his and Blaines relationship in front of new people. Not because he was ashamed, quite the opposite - Kurt loved Blaine with everything he possessed and he could never hide the person he was so proud and grateful to have in his life, but he hated the looks some people would give them. The looks were hurtful, judgemental on something they knew nothing about. But Kurt had a feeling about Seth. He'd only known the boy for about five or so minutes but the boy had put Kurt at such an ease that he felt comfortable in affirming Seths question that yes, Blaine was the boy he sung the duet with at the 2011 Regionals competition and that Blaine was now his boyfriend and not just 'the boy he sung the duet with' because Blaine was more than that.
When Seth just simply smiled in acknowledgement, Kurt knew that his initial instincts had been right. "Well it definitely looks like you've got a keeper there" Seth continued and if he could've taken a picture of Kurt's face right then, he would not have hesitated. "I'm not gay, don't worry - straight as a ruler me."
"Oh I thought I was going to have some competition then." Kurt playfully bantered.
"Oh well you know, there's always time for me to change my mind" he quipped in return. "No but seriously, when you guys walked in, I heard you before I saw you but when I looked at you both, I just instantly knew who you both were because you both still had the same looks on your faces you had back at Regionals, just like, content and so happy to be with each other."
Kurt pursed his lips together as he smiled brightly as he listened to how his relationship looked from an outsiders point of view, and even he had to admit it sounded pretty darn cute.
"How long have you been together now then?" Seth inquired.
"One year and 8 and a half months" Kurt proudly said.
Seth held his arms out either side of him as if to gesture 'there we go'. "See, totally perfect for each other - I told you I could see it. My longest relationship only lasted 3 and a half months. It was with this girl, Rosie and everything was good but then her family had to relocate to Washington because her Dad got a promotion that was based there and we tried to keep the relationship going and it worked for a while but long distance is just so hard. We both just agreed that maybe it wasn't meant to be." Seth sombrely admitted.
Kurt didn't know how to respond to that. He knew he could give sound advice on rejection and unreturned feelings but not break ups. He and Blaine had never even taken so much as a break let alone broken up altogether. But Kurt and Blaine had made their long distance relationship work and any problems they ever did have, they always agreed on working through together. Blaine was his first boyfriend, first love, first everything but he certainly didn't want Blaine to be his first break-up as well. He was in this for the long haul. "Well you know, you're still young so you have plenty of time to find that special someone" he offered.
Seth scoffed. "Yeah I'm - I'm not so sure that is going to happen." Kurt noticed the change of tone in his voice and if he had perceived it correctly, to him it sounded much like defeat.
"What'd you mean?" He wearily questioned.
Seth exhaled deeply. "You know, I've been in and out of this place so many times for the last three years that now, I don't need people to tell me that they're ill too. I know you're here for the same reason I am - " Kurts broke the eye contact the two of them had been holding moments before, his eyes directing their attention downwards as he suddenly felt slightly awkward "- which is why I feel comfortable enough telling you this. Basically erm - my cancer has spread to more of my organs since my last check up 3 weeks ago and they said that it's spread into my pancreas and now that its there, there's literally nothing they can do - not even intense rounds of Chemotherapy can cure it now."
Kurt felt as though someone had punched all of the air out of him. His chest suddenly constricted tightly and his open mouthed expression revealed more than words could ever manage to. He was not expecting that. Yes, he knew that Seth looked very ill but he hadn't ever expected to hear that he was basically dying.
"I've probably scared you now haven't I - I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have said anything."
"No no its okay - well it's not okay but, gosh I just - " Kurt frantically shook his head as he tried to find the right words to say. "Why are you by yourself right now - where are your parents? Are you okay? God Kurt are you stupid, of course he's not okay he thought to himself. "That is probably the most stupidest question, I'm sorry I just - "
"Kurt" Seth promptly interrupted, quickly silencing Kurts frantic rambling. "It's okay - There is no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid answers and so in answer to your first question, I told my parents I just wanted a few minutes alone to myself so they're upstairs and then in answer to your not stupid question, I'm okay now, I guess. To be honest, I've kind of been preparing myself for something like this to happen for a long time now and now, now I'm just tired."
Kurts eyes narrowed as he felt in those seconds that there was something that Seth hadn't told him but he was not going to pressure him into telling him anything he didn't want to so he just stayed silent but Seth had already expressed earlier that he trusted Kurt because they were both in a similar situation - Kurt had an inkling into how he might feel and so without a second thought, Seth continued to elaborate.
"This is my second round of cancer. I was diagnosed with Leukaemia when I was fourteen. I remember just not feeling right for weeks, I didn't quite know what was wrong but I thought it was nothing - I just kept taking Ibuprofen every day for two weeks until my mum decided that enough was enough and so we went to the Doctors and before he'd even took the blood tests, he took one look at me and it was like he just knew but he couldn't exactly come right out and say what he was thinking because he had no official evidence to prove it because the blood test results hadn't come back. Anyway, he referred me here and that was when we found out. I eventually ended up having 7 months of a combined treatment of chemotherapy and radiotherapy and then they officially declared me in remission on the 10th May 2010. Everything was great and life went on as normal but then less than a year later, I ended up relapsing and they immediately told me it was worse than the first time but they were still hopeful but now-" Seth shrugged his shoulders as he didn't quite know how to finish the sentence. "I could still go to school when I was diagnosed the first time because it was such a mild cancer that it affected me but with treatment, I could still live a regular life but then when it came back - you know it was shortly after the competition actually - around two months after, but when it came back, it was just like a hurricane, on a mission and nothing could stop it. I eventually had to be taken out of school and be home schooled by a tutor my parents hired because there were some days where I just could barely get up out of bed and some days I'd be up and about but just vomiting every hour or so from the Chemo, so going to school was completely out of the question. I should probably just stop talking shouldn't I - you've got enough to worry about without having to listen to the burden that is my life story."
"No don't be silly I just, the first thing I thought about you was how surprisingly upbeat you are and I just - were you ever scared?"
Seth nodded. "Every single day. But can I offer you some advice Kurt - this might be one of the last good things I do" he teased but considering the change in the atmosphere surrounding the two of them, Seth quickly retorted "Sorry, bad joke. But Kurt, don't let this take over your life - that's the worst thing you could ever do. Don't let it define who you are."
Kurt was about to reply when suddenly Blaine came bursting into the waiting area, slightly out of breath and tightly clutching a carrier bag in his hand.
"I am so sorry. The toilets near the shop were out of order so I had to find another one and I've literally spent a good ten minutes trying to find my way back up here. This place can be a real maze sometimes. I just bumped into Steph on my way in though and she's ready for us now so, you ready to go?"
"What – I, erm, oh – yeah okay" Kurt could barely even process everything Blaine had just said to him. His mind was literally all over the place right now. He profusely rubbed his forehead, as if by doing that would help him think straight in some way.
"Sorry erm, Blaine this is Seth" Kurt managed to say as he gestured towards Seth. "Seth, this is my boyfriend Blaine, who I was telling you about earlier."
"Ah you were talking about me were you?" Blaine teased as he stepped closer to Seth to shake his hand.
"All good things he said, don't worry" Seth quipped. "It's nice to meet you Blaine."
"Yeah, you too man" Blaine replied, his charming smile existent on his face. "Kurt, I'm sorry but we really do have to go."
"Okay. Yeah let me just-" he started to say as he stood up, straightening himself out and the invisible creases that had gathered after sitting down for that period of time. He turned around to face Seth and once again, words failed him. None of the usual greetings one would say on departure felt appropriate to Kurt at this point – he knew he couldn't say 'See you soon' or 'have a nice day' because he knew and Seth knew that neither of those two were very likely and he knew that it was very unlikely that he would be seeing Seth anytime soon. Seth could read Kurts expression easily though. After three long years, he was used to peoples stunned silences.
"It's okay Kurt – go" he said, smiling encouragingly. "So, I might not see you again so really, good luck with everything and it was really cool to finally meet you." Kurt smiled sadly.
"You too Seth." He opened his mouth to say something else but decided against it. He walked over towards Blaine and desperately took his hand and squeezed it tightly in his, like he just needed some form of contact with his boyfriend, to feel close to him in any way possible after hearing everything he had just heard. This didn't go unnoticed by Blaine. As they turned to walk away, they were stopped by the sound of Seths voice calling Kurts name.
"Remember Kurt, don't let this define who you are" he said with a conclusiveness tone to his voice to which Kurt nodded in acceptance and turned back around.
Steph, who had been waiting for the two of them at the Reception desk, brightly expressed her joy at seeing the two of them again, although she had already seen Blaine minutes before and led them down the corridor.
"That boy, Seth – he seemed quite nice" Blaine commented as they followed behind Steph, still hand in hand.
"Yeah, yeah he was." Kurt replied sadly. He would tell Blaine everything later, just not right now. As Kurt went through the same process as he had done four weeks before, the needle that was tightly fastened to the cannula gently sliding underneath the surface of his skin, the IV slowly drooping down the translucent tube and into his bloodstream, he couldn't help but think about Seth, knowing that Seth had been through the exact same process he was going through right this second and it hadn't worked for him - what if it didn't work for Kurt? He remembered the conversation he and Blaine had had that night in the garden, the night before his first treatment session
"Its just scary, you know. The doctors will tell you about the success stories, but they don't ever tell you about the people who aren't fortunate enough to make it"
"Then don't think about either of them. Everyone will react differently to the treatment and yeah, some people aren't lucky enough to survive, but that doesn't, not for one second, mean that that's going to happen to you too."
Sure it had been fairly easy to try and not to think about it but now Kurt had seen someone whose treatment hadn't worked, he had met them and interacted with them - this was now on a completely different level and as he sat silently in the room, Blaine next to him engrossed in the days newspaper he had bought earlier, Seths departing words "I might not see you again" were like a bad song in Kurts head, replaying over and over in his head and he couldn't get them out, no matter how hard he tried.
"Penny for you thoughts?" Blaine said as the silence in the car, although comfortable was stifling to him - it wasn't like Kurt to be quiet for this long and he hated it - the sound of Kurts voice was one of lifes pleasures to him and so going without it for an extended period of time was like torture. Kurt was staring aimlessly out of the passenger window and barely registered what Blaine had asked him. "Kurt. What are you thinking about babe?"
"Hmm?" he murmured as he turned to face Blaine.
"What are you thinking about?" he repeated. "You've been really quiet nearly all day now and the only times you're quiet like this are when you're annoyed at someone or you're thinking about something, and I don't think I've done anything wrong I hope so I'm taking it as the latter option."
"God, you're good" Kurt smirked.
"It's my job to know you inside out" Blaine winked.
"Do you fancy going for a walk?" Kurt asked which surprised Blaine.
"I mean I'd love to but shouldn't we really get you back home?"
Kurt assured him that an hour wouldn't hurt and compromised with Blaine that he would be sure to let him know and that if at any point he felt a even a slight twinge of weakness of tiredness, they could sit down and so Blaine agreed. They drove along the roads and Kurt realised they were nearing Whinfell Park and so he requested that they go there. Whinfell Park would always hold a special place in Kurts heart and he had no doubt that it held a similar position in Blaines.
It was nearing the end of the Christmas Break and Blaine was home from University. The two had just spent the afternoon at Kurts house, simply revelling in each others company. Deciding to make the most of the fresh downpour of snow that wrapped everything up in its soft white blanket, they took a stroll down to Whinfell Park. Somehow the snow managed to make everything better, brighter and more beautiful - There was something about the winter season that just made everything that little bit better and as they walked hand in hand, their footprints crunching in the snow leaving imprints of their presence, neither of them could keep the smiles off of their faces. He had no idea how it had happened but their hands became unclasped but the contact wasn't missing for long as Blaine spun Kurt around, slipping one of his arms around his waist, pulling him flush against him. Kurt was instantly hypnotized by Blaines intense gaze, as if all the love he felt for Kurt and more was written all over his face. They both just stared at each other in the silence of the day, silently conveying the message of "How am I so lucky to have you" through their intense eyes and bashful smiles. But Kurt was abruptly pulled out of his daze as his head suddenly felt instantly colder, shards of ice clinging to his hair strands and snow that had melted into a single drop of water rolled down his cheek. He pursed his lips together, shaking his head in disbelief.
"You. Are. So. Dead. Anderson." He clearly emphasised to which Blaine simply laughed at. Kurt scoffed playfully at his blasé reaction. Blaine moved their two bodies even closer, so close that his lips were slightly ghosting Kurts, his warm breath making Kurts lips tingle with anticipation.
"I don't think so Hummel" he whispered.
As much as he wanted to close the distance between them, Kurt still had an act to keep up and he was adamant that he wouldn't crack. "And why is that?"
"Because you love me"
Kurt cocked an eyebrow as he narrowed an eye. "Are you sure about that?"
Blaine nodded his head as he leaned in closer. "Absolutely positive" he whispered before his lips melted against Kurts, the warmness and fluttering feeling it gave the two of them allowing them to forget the cold snap they were standing in the midst of.
"And I love you too. Always" Blaine said as he pulled away slightly, but his lips were soon back against Kurts.
"So are you going to tell me what's wrong yet?" Blaine softly asked, tugging gently at Kurts hand as encouragement as they walked hand in hand through the luscious green field, leading them towards the perfectly aligned row of tall, oak trees. The branches bustling with crisp green leaves, dancing gracefully in the wind.
"I just - I can't stop thinking about Seth." Kurt admitted.
"Seth?" Blaine pondered thoughtfully. "Oh, the boy from earlier?" His question was confirmed as Kurt shook his head. "Yeah you two seemed to be getting along quite well."
"Yeah but - Blaine, he's - he's dying" Kurt whispered but Blaine heard perfectly well. It was as if the word 'dying' had sent a shockwave to his brain, telling him to stop walking because his feet were firmly attached to the ground and he couldn't move anywhere, not even a step forward.
"I'm sorry - what?" he said as he turned to face Kurt.
Kurt closed his eyelids tightly as he regained himself, before taking a deep breath and allowing his ice blue eyes to meet the worrying, curious gaze of the hazel ones that had yet to look away from him. "That's what we were talking about before you came in. He got told today that his cancer has spread to his pancreas and now that it's there, there's literally nothing they can do - not even chemotherapy can save him now. He's dying Blaine" Kurt repeated and Blaine could hear the slight crack in his voice.
"Okay, okay shush, hold on a second" he whispered in an attempt to soothe Kurt. Still holding his hand, Blaine guided them to make the final steps towards the tree and gently pulled the both of them down. Normally Kurt would be reluctant on sitting on the bare ground where his clothes would be at mortal danger from the grass and earth stains but Kurt made no complaints today and Blaine knew that was the least of his worries right now. Blaine sat against the bark and pulled Kurt to sit in between his legs, his arms instinctively wrapping themselves tightly around Kurts waist and his chin dipped onto Kurts shoulder.
"Okay, start from the beginning."
Blaine had just given him permission to let the wall that Kurt had been holding up for the last few hours crumble down around him and he couldn't stop now.
"He's dying Blaine. He's 17 and he's dying. He is exactly like me, a teenager diagnosed with Leukaemia who's main hope of survival was the success of the Chemotherapy, but it hasn't worked for him. What if it doesn't work for me? What if that's me in a few months time? When I spoke to him and when I looked at him, I just couldn't shake the feeling that I could be looking at my future and - and I hated it because now I'm just so scared, more scared then I ever have been before and he just looked so ill and tired and-"
Blaine could tell that Kurt was getting hysterical as he could feel his chest rising up and down quicker than normal, his shoulders slightly shaking and so he gently rocked them side to side, whispering soothing sounds and sweet words of nothingness into Kurts ears. He felt as Kurts breathing slowly evened out into a calming pace.
"I don't want that to be me" Kurt confessed sombrely
"It won't be" Blaine reassured.
"How do you know though?" Kurt said, almost pleading as he shuffled his body to face Blaine, who's face was struggling to hide the heartbreak he felt at the words his boyfriend was saying and how scared he was. All he wanted to do was to tell him that everything would be okay. But he couldn't.
"None of us know. Seth thought he was going to be okay and then he relapsed and now, now it's not okay. its far from okay for him. he's not going to be able to graduate University, or get married, teach his son how to play football or walk his daughter up the aisle." He exhaled deeply. "He's not even 18 yet Blaine" he whispered. He dipped his head into his hand, rubbing his hand profusely over his eyes. "God, I only met this boy a few hours ago and I'm already thinking about his future. Well, no, the future he'll never have. Why do I care this much?" he thought aloud.
"Hey. You care because you, Kurt Hummel, have the biggest heart I have ever known one person was capable to even have. And babe, none of us know what's going to happen but, but we just have to stay positive. You have to stay positive, okay? Even Seth told you that remember, when we were walking out? Do you remember what he said to you?"
"Don't let it define who I am" Kurt whispered.
Blaine nodded. "So do that for him. You cant do anything to help him now and that's horrible, but it's not your fault, but I think the least he would want you to do for him is to take his advice."
Kurt leaned forward, dropping his head onto Blaines chest as Blaine placed a kiss onto the top of his head.
"You always seem to know how to make me feel even the tiniest bit better" Kurt murmured, his voice muffled through the cotton of Blaines shirt.
"It's kind of my job" Blaine teased. "But it's the best job I'll ever have."
Kurt lifted his head to face Blaine. He smiled sadly because even though Blaine had reassured him, he still couldn't shake the feelings of empathy he had been carrying around with him.
"I love you so much" Kurt said.
"I love you too" Blaine replied as he brushed a strand of Kurts hair from his forehead. The two of them instinctively moved in closed before the two pairs of lips willingly melted into one. It was as if this one kiss conveyed everything the two of them wanted to say in that moment. They mutually pulled away and Blaine realised it was the first time throughout the whole day that he had seen Kurt genuinely smile. Kurt turned back around so that his back was flush against Blaines chest, Blaines arms slithering back around his slim waist. He dropped a kiss onto Kurts shoulder before his chin rested there. Both let out a sigh of contentment as they breathed in the closeness of the other, admiring the landscape around them.
"Do you want to hear something funny?" Kurt asked after a few moments of silence, slightly tilting his head over his shoulder to face Blaine.
"Mmm" Blaine murmured.
"Seth saw us perform at Regionals" he said and he saw Blaines eyebrows furrow together. "He was in Aural Intensity" he elaborated.
Blaine gasped as the revelation had taken him by complete surprise. "No way! Wow. They sung the song about Jesus right?"
"The very same" Kurt confirmed. "He said to me that he recognised us when we walked in today because we looked the same as we did during 'Candles', like we had the same facial expression as he put it "like we were so happy to be with each other".
"Well he's defiantly right about that" Blaine gently nudged Kurts shoulder forward. "But that is a really nice thing for him to say."
"He was a nice guy." Kurt replied, to which Blaine just simply nodded to.
"God how did that song go again?" Blaine thought aloud to himself. "Jesus is a friend of mine" he started to sing as he recalled the lyrics he'd once heard just over a year ago, but he soon found himself with a duet partner.
"Jesus is my friend"
"Jesus is a friend of mine" Blaine sung slightly louder this time, encouraged by Kurts harmonizing.
"I'm a friend of Jesus" Kurt pitch perfectly resounded. Kurt tilted his head upwards and smiled at Blaine with the utmost affection. They looked at each other before seconds later, falling into a fit of giggles. Kurt pressed his hand into the ground, supporting himself as he leaned upwards to press his lips to Blaines before snuggling back down into his arms, a sigh of contentment escaping his lips. It was little moments like these that Kurt would treasure for the rest of his life and he would be damned if he was going to give them up now.
A/N - Okay - what did you guys think of Seth? I love him :) I thought it would be really cool for Kurt to meet someone his age who had cancer too but obviously who's not as lucky so yeah, I'd love to know what you thought about him and that storyline :)
Okay this might be wishful thinking on my behalf but I wanna make it my own personal target to reach at least 53 reviews by the end of this chapter so if any of you would be a dear and help me to acheive that, I would love you forever:)(L) - it's six reviews and plus, I absolutely love hearing what you all thought because that is so important to me and it really helps me in other chapters:)
OH I almost forgot, I dont want to give away what I'm planning for a later chapter (It's around Chapter 12/13 atm) but if anyone has any song suggestions, would you be a dear and drop them in a review or private message me because i would love to hear your suggestions. I already have some ideas but theres thousands of songs out there that i havent heard before that someone else might have and could be perfect for this so yeah :) the themes I'm going for are love, friendship, songs with inspirational lyrics - stuff like that :)
Tumblr link is http:[.]/[.]theycanttouchus12.[.]tumblr.[.]com/ - obviously take out the [.]'s xD - If you ever wanna know anything about this, theres where to find me:)
Again, I am so, so sorry for the delay in this chapter but i hope it was okay and i'll make sure Chapter 10 is up sooner than this.
Until next time(L)xx