Belong together

Chapter 2

Penny sat with her laptop on her lap googling how do you know you're in love. Every page she read told her what she was feeling.

She thought back to the conversation with Amy and Bernadette. It all started when Amy told Bernadette her 4-year plan to marry Sheldon. Then the conversation turns to her and Leonard, and will they ever get married. It brought out penny's insecurities and fears especially when Bernadette had to ask if she loved Leonard.

Yeah, sure, of course, I love him. She answered. And when Bernadette said it didn't sound like you do and asked if she tells him it made her think. She always kept Leonard at a distance, scared she might lose him and breaking her heart. .Just then, there was a knock on her door.

Penny opened her door and was shocked to see Leonard standing there she wasn't expecting him as he ignored her earlier message. "Hi," she said shyly.

"Hey, Penny can I come in we need to talk?"

She nods her head and moves out the way to let him in. They both sat on the couch avoiding eye contact and playing with their fingers on their laps nervously. Penny thinking, this isn't good and trying to read his facial expressions and thoughts but failing.

"Leonard I'm really sorry about you finding out like this I promise you that it's not how I see us now."

Leonard looks around and feeling a bead of sweat on his forehead nervously said, "I had no idea you were unhappy."

"I'm not it just felt different, I guess our routine became predictable."

"Boring because we don't have much in common." He muttered.

"No Leonard it's not like that I just forgot how to be a real girlfriend and got distracted from what was important. Us. "Last night I couldn't help thinking of you, it made me remember the happy times we had together. The memories gave me the kick I needed, and I realised I stopped working on us. I'm sorry. I guess love works the same way. We don't have a lot in common but what we have is we learn to appreciate each other's interests."

"Are you saying if you stop working on us it becomes annoying. are you too bored to talk to me about things because you feel it not important, or I'll just take it the wrong way?"

"You heard that too. I'm sorry I didn't want to become vulnerable to you if you found out how I felt about you."

"I guess, you don't share the same passion and long term goals that I do," Leonard said sadly.

"It's not like that I didn't want you to see my weakness I wasn't ready to show it."

"Maybe we just spend too much time together and don't get excited about each other anymore."

"Leonard I want to be open with you, but it will take the time I don't want to spend less time with you."

"Penny. I don't think I can do this anymore it driving me crazy not knowing where I stand with you, and I'm tired of taking the blame for loving you unconditionally. It has to end..."

"Are you breaking up with me because if you are, I won't let you?" She interrupted and began to cry. "Penny stop it" putting his hand on her shoulder "I'm not breaking up with you, why would you think that?"

She looks away from him. "I don't know I guess I'm a terrible girlfriend, and you deserve someone better."

"Penny looks at me please" she slowly turns to face him. He wipes a stray tear from her cheek. "What I 'm trying to say is, I can't do this you know. YOU. Not being honest and talking to me about your feeling or doubts. I thought we were close enough to deal with our fears together. If we are not then maybe we shouldn't be together."

"I'm sorry Leonard I do want to be honest with you. but I wanted the girl's opinion on how I was feeling and how they felt about their partners to try and make sense of what I was feeling. I was confused when I thought of breaking up with you."

"So how come Sheldon knew?" Leonard asked.

"Amy I'm guessing."

"And what made you change your mind penny?" She looked at him wanting to explain her feelings. She needed to lay her heart on the line, or she might lose him forever. No matter how hard she was going to do it.

"I just couldn't imagine my life without you in it." She grabbed his hands and intertwined their fingers and looked into his brown eyes. "When I look into those big puppy eyes my heart melts, and I have this wonderful feeling going through my body. Leonard, I have never had that feeling before with anyone, not even Kurt. You Leonard is the only guy that gives me those feelings."

,"If you felt like that why the boring love statement?"

"I don't know maybe subconsciously I was protecting myself from getting hurt. maybe that was an excuse not to open up and protect my heart or just lost my sense of self and my judgement impaired by my fear of committed love."

"Penny you know I will never do that or break your heart."

"You don't know things could change and you could hurt me. Sometimes you make me feel like you don't trust me, and it's frustrating." I will never hurt you, Penny. Leonard looks at their fingers held tightly together and spoke softly. "I don't know what to say maybe you see real love as a feeling rather than a choice, and you see me as a burden on you. I guess I don't make it easier for you and me over thinking things, and my insecurities do not help." He looked away from her "My whole life all I have ever wanted is to make the people close to me happy. I never had a great childhood it was hell growing up with a mother who abused me mentally. I didn't have the life that other kids had, you know going to the park and playing sports or just hanging out with my parents. It was horrible for me growing up. I remember looking out the window seeing other kids playing outside and wished I was out there with them but then maybe I'll probably just get bullied." He chuckled.

"Oh, Leonard. I'm so sorry it must have been hard for you. No child should have to go through what you experienced." she cried. Leonard continued." Because of my upbringing I find it awkward hugging people. I just tense up and feel uncomfortable because my life was so messed up as a kid; sometimes I just regress to bad habits." He stood up pacing around the room "maybe that's why I give so much love and receive less in return sometimes I feel like I don't connect well with people."

Penny got up walks toward him and pulls him into a hug and just held him. Penny felt Leonard tense up then he began to relax. "Leonard you are not an evil person your heart is full of love and because of your ordeal growing up, it has made you a better human being who cared so much for your friends. I don't know of anyone who would put up with Sheldon like you do." He agreed. "Yeah, he's a hand full." They both nod to that statement.

"Leonard don't beat yourself up I'm sorry for making you feel like you don't belong and for making you feel insecure. I promise you I am not playing any games I will try to be a better girlfriend I want what we have to remain the same because I need you in my life I love you very much."

"Penny I love you too and thank you for listening to me I really needed to get this out of my system I feel much better knowing that we both want the same things. I like this you know being honest and talking about our fears. I want this all the time no more keeping things from each other and work on our problems."

"I like this too Leonard, and yes talking has helped and I will not keep my feeling hidden from you again. I'm so happy we didn't break up over this." She kissed him on the lips as she ran her fingers through his hair.

The next day Penny took Leonard out to lunch. It was penny's treat to him, so she ordered for them.

Leonard had a burger with fries and penny a steak sandwich while they were waiting they couldn't help smiling they held hands she lean in for a kiss that was interrupted by their food arriving. They quietly ate. Leonard is struggling to eat his burger while Penny kept pinching his fries. "You know what's funny..."

"This better be funny" she smirked.

"Hey it is funny thank you." pouting.

"Okay, when you order a burger, and it's can't fit in your mouth because it's too big, why don't they give you a knife to cut in half or something."

"Leonard you said it was going to be funny it's not, but yeah. What's up with that you should totally get a knife?" They both laugh and continued eating, talking and touching just happy being in one another's company. "So Leonard did you get your paper finished," winking at him.

"Well, if someone left me alone last night I might have finished it," winking back at her. "Hey, you're the one who couldn't keep your hands off me and couldn't get enough of me."

"You're the one that kept teasing me with your striptease while I was trying to work." Leonard grinned widely. "I didn't hear you complaining and you liked." She said seductively and simultaneously rubbing her knee against his legs and rubbing his thigh with her hand. Leonard took a deep breath he looked around, but nobody noticed what penny was doing. "Penny stop it you're doing it again." He whispered, "What am I doing again?" Penny is faking innocents. "Tee easing me again."

"I have no idea what you're talking about" she gets up smiled at him and said "come on Leonard let's go." Slightly sweating Leonard replied. "Ummmm tell you what I meet you outside just need to take care of something."

Leonard was spooning penny they had been at it for the last hour both trying to get their breaths back. Leonard kissed the back of her neck she turns to face him as he plants another kiss this time on her lips. "Don't you expect to get away with what you did at Cafe Missy?"

"What do you mean? I didn't do anything you're the one that left me hanging outside for 10 minutes." She couldn't help but giggle. "You should have seen your face it was a picture."

"It wasn't funny teasing me like that. You are so going to pay for that."

"I'm sorry sweetie I couldn't help it I get clumsy sometimes."

"That wasn't clumsiness; that was you torturing me one of your favorite games."

"Hey," she gently slapping his arm, "So what's my punishment."

"Oh, that's for me to know and you to find out." She laughed out loud and reached to pull him in for a kiss that quickly escalated into another session of lovemaking.

The next week penny was sitting in her apartment flicking through channels she thought about the last two days and how the talk had brought them closer. She couldn't believe she ever considered breaking up with him what was I thinking.

Penny had the day off and was missing Leonard badly they haven't been able to keep their hands off each other lately she wanted Leonard that's the way she wanted to spend her day. So she texts her baby to get his sexy tushy home. Leonard also wanted to be with Penny. He came up with an excuse. He had to wait for a delivery; he smiled to himself thinking, only if they knew he was the package. Penny smiled when he text her back just saying. Oh, my way. Leonard and Penny spend the rest of the afternoon in bed.

The guys noticed a change in Leonard he was more cheerful and confident, his self-esteem was growing now that Penny was more open to him. They were both working on their issues and the gang, happy for them.

That evening they went to 4a for takeout, while the guys played video games the girls went to penny's to drink wine. It was good spending time with the girls she told them how happy she was and thank them for talking her out of breaking up with Leonard because that would have been the biggest mistake of her life. Amy and Bernadette were glad, she finally realised they belong together.