Authors Note - Okay, i honestly cannot even begin to tell you how sorry i am for how long its been! I did not want this to be up 3 months after my last update but i swear i didn't get back into a normal routine after Christmas until like mid January! Hope you all had good christmas's btw even though it was like, 3 months ago :$ LOL
I actually suck so much at updating but i honeslty cant thank you guys enough for sticking with me! I always expect to see the number of people following this drop majorly everytime i go to update and i'm always really surprised when i get emails of new people adding this to their alert or favourite lists so thank you so much:)
So i've been writing this for so long - like im not even joking, probably since January and I wanted to have it up so much sooner than this but finding my feet and settling back into writing took so long but I got there and I literally only just finished it at like 2:30am last night so im so happy to FINALLY be getting it out to you guys:) so yeah, here it is - enjoyy!:)
OMG on a majorly seperate note - How completely awesome were 'I Do' and Come What May - i might've died just a little watching both of them :D
ALSO, I had a brainwave Saturday night when I was writing this and I was able to add in the story title so thumbs up to you guys who notice it! :D
Disclaimer - I don't own Glee or any of the characters (I wish I owned Klaine though:( )
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tick. Tock. Tock.
The sound of the hands of the clock that hung on Doctor Rolstones office wall echoed loudly around the quiet room. It was so quiet that it was almost verging on being uncomfortably quiet. With there being a limited amount of chairs in the office, Kurt and Burt were practically forced into the two chairs in front of the desk by the rest of them. Blaine stood directly behind Kurt. Kurt had bent his right arm so that his hand could rest on his shoulder where it was currently entwined with Blaines own hand. Carole stood directly behind her husband with Finn standing beside her nearer the wall, her hands resting on Burts shoulders in an attempt to offer some form of comfort as she could see her husbands unease as he nervously tapped his fingers against his mouth. The sound of something heavy banging against the top of the file cabinet quickly brought everyone out of their dazes.
"Sorry" Finn sheepishly apologised to the room as he picked up the miniature model skeleton he had caused to fall down.
"Finn just - just try not to fiddle with anything else okay" Carole sighed, clearly unimpressed with her sons carelessness at such an obviously tense time, causing Finn to mouth another "sorry", his shoulders almost touching his cheeks as he sheepishly shrugged.
"God is this doctor ever going to get here" Burt sighed, clearly apprehensive as he shuffled in his seat.
"It's only a couple of minutes past 9 Dad" Kurt said quietly.
"Exactly! He should've been here by now!" It was clear to everyone in the room that Burt was getting more and more anxious as the minutes passed by. The seconds that passed were starting to feel like hours.
"He'll be here Burt. I'm sure there is a perfectly good reason as to why he is running a little behind" Carole attempted to reason.
"It doesn't matter what time he gets here - the results won't change" Kurt sighed, running his free hand over his forehead before resting his elbow on the armrest. "So let's just wait."
"Hey Kurt - " Finn piped up. " - I just want to say on behalf of all of us, that no matter what happens today, we're all here for you."
Kurt managed to whisper a genuine 'Thank you' before as if on cue, the office door clicked open as Doctor Rolstone walked into the room, 3 lever arch folders in his hand with sporadic pieces of paper peeking out of each of them.
"Hello everyone. Sorry I'm running a little bit behind - " he said as he rounded the desk to stand in front of them, settling the folders down onto the desk. He shuffled off his coat before taking a seat in front of the five anxious, apprehensive faces. "I had to complete a handover of one of my patients who is going into surgery right this very second - it was supposed to be completed yesterday but there was a delay in the process which I won't bore you with. I didn't mean to keep you waiting so long - I completely appreciate how concerning a time like this can be."
"It's perfectly alright" Carole spoke up for the rest of them. Blaine noticed how Kurts leg started to shake more as he tapped his foot on the floor, anxiety slowly eating away at him. Blaine brushed his thumb over Kurts knuckles and smiled when Kurt slightly turned his head to look over his shoulder at him, offering him a smile in gratitude, a small one but it was a smile nonetheless.
"So Kurt, how have you been doing recently?" Doctor Rolstone asked.
"Okay I guess? But I guess you're going to be the one to tell me how I've really been doing" Kurt laughed nervously.
"Yes. Right well, I suppose we should get started then." Doctor Rolstone proceeded to flip through one of the three folders he had brought with him before Kurt could see he reached a section marked 'Hummel. K'. "Right well, obviously we all know why we're here today. You had your tests conducted a little over two weeks ago - " Kurt nodded along " - and since then, your results have been reviewed by both myself and our radiologist and, Kurt I'm so sorry - I wish I didn't have to tell you this and there really is no easy way of saying this but the results unfortunately have shown that the chemotherapy treatments haven't been successful and unfortunately, there has been an increase in the amount of cancer cells."
Kurt froze. His eyes widened and his body went completely rigid. He barely registered Caroles soft sob, Burts gasp or the tightened grip Blaine had on his hand. It was if everything in the world had stopped. His worst nightmare, in seconds, had now become a reality.
" - can happen. Our bodies are forever changing and at a vulnerable time like this - "
Kurt knew that Doctor Rolstone was still speaking but he barely registered the words he was saying. Everything around him was a blur.
"Kurt?" Doctor Rolstone called. Kurt snapped his head upwards. "Are you okay? You understand what I've just said about your case still sitting at a stage two, which is a positive aspect but that if we don't act now, it could develop into a Stage 3, within the next few weeks I would predict." Kurt simply nodded.
"So I think now is an appropriate time to discuss different approaches to treatments. Now in my professional opinion, I really do think staying with Chemotherapy is a good choice but making it more frequent, so say once a week instead of once a month and adding courses of Radiotherapy into it. As you can imagine, it is much, much more intense but this approach had been extremely successful in reducing cancer cells in at least 78% of recorded cases and many patients going into remission and living long, happy, healthy lives. If you do decide to go with this method, what I would like to do is book you in for another check up quicker than usual so we can again, see how it is or isn't progressing and if things still haven't progressed, It might be a good idea to consider a Stem Cell transplant which would require us to find a donor, someone with your blood type which can then help to rebuild your blood cells and immune system but I really don't want to introduce that option just yet. That's really something I would use as one of our last options and I really don't think we're at that stage yet."
"What about in your personal opinion?" Kurt asked after a few moments of silence.
"Pardon?" Doctor Rolstone said.
"You said that was all in your professional opinion. Just pretend you're not a Doctor for a minute and human to human, tell me your honest, personal opinion"
Doctor Rolstone sighed. He folded his lips together as if he was really hesitant in saying what he wanted to say. "Okay. Being completely honest, I would still tell you that an increased Chemo plan with radiotherapy added into the mixture is a good idea. But, I've already told you that it's much more intense but, it is really, really intense. Kurt, I've seen adults twice your age find it difficult, almost unbearable to deal with. I've heard and seen things from them that have almost broke my heart, but nearly every single time, that short lived pain has almost always saved their lives."
Kurt nodded as he considered what Doctor Rolstone had just told him. He appreciated his brutal honesty as that was what he needed to help him make his decision.
"Let's do it then" Kurt concluded.
"Kurt - " Blaine started, worry laced in his voice.
"Kurt, buddy this sounds - "
"Like my best option" Kurt definitively said. He turned in his chair to face his family, still clutching Blaines hand. "Look, nobody ever said this was going to be easy. Nobody ever said to me "Hey, you have cancer but it's okay! It's an absolute walk in the park. Just sit tight and it will all be fine!" I have to fight this" Kurt said, the determination clear in his voice. "Believe me, if there was a pill I could take to make all of this go away, I would - in an instant. But there isn't. I have to fight this the long and painful way but I want to do everything possible to give me that chance of beating this. And plus, how much worse can a little more pain be than what I've already been through."
"Can you just tell us a little more about it please?" Burt asked, turning back in his chair to face Doctor Rolstone.
"Well Radiotherapy itself is pretty painless to have. Normally what would happen is that we would mark the area on your skin where the cancer cells or tumour is with a type of ink so that the same area can be treated each time. However with you having Leukaemia and that being the cancer of the blood, meaning that the cancer cells are spread across your body, you would have a type of radiotherapy treatment where your whole body will be hit with the rays to give all of the cancer cells a chance at being destroyed. Now some of your normal cells will be destroyed in the process too but the difference is that they will recover whereas the cancer cells will ultimately die."
"When can I start it?" Kurt asked Doctor Rolstone as he turned back in his chair to face his doctor.
"Well I've already calculated how many sessions you will need before I would like to see you at the beginning of December for a check up so that's just under two months from now but you will need 8 sessions of Chemoradiotherapy. I've freed up some room so we could start a course today if you wanted to" Doctor Rolstone replied. "Would you like to start the process today?" Kurt firmly nodded.
"Lets go for it."
26 hours.
At this present moment, Kurt was resting at home, Blaines arm wrapped around his shoulders as Kurt was tucked into his side, fast asleep, his head laying against his chest. But 26 hours ago, Kurt had just come home from his first course of Chemoradiotherapy. It wasn't much different to Kurt's normal Chemotherapy sessions - he still had the Chemotherapy like normal, through a canula that went through the back of his hand whilst the clear liquid travelled through his system for the next four hours however it all started very differently. Carole decided that it was probably best for her and Finn to leave as they didn't want to crowd Kurt too much. They wished him the best of luck and reassured him that they would see him at home later on that night. Before they could start the Radiotherapy, Kurt had to sign a consent form, agreeing to the process but that was quickly signed, sealed, delivered and they soon after got started. There was a bed like stand in the room, a simple pillow at the top of it with a white sheet running down the middle of it. However, the thing that caught everyones attention (aside from Doctor Rolstone and the two nurses accompanying them) as soon as they walked in was the huge, white machine behind it. It was bulky and quite literally reached the ceiling. A part of it extended outwards, the end of it being in a circular shape. Doctor Rolstone told them that this machine was infact called a Linear Accelerator and the part that extended out was where the rays were beamed out from. As soon as Kurt was settled onto the bed, everyone else had to leave the room so that when the process actually begun, they were not at risk of being exposed to the radioactivity within the room. The process itself was very quick and simple and lasted a mere 15 minutes; all Kurt had to do was lay there as the rays beamed all over his body. He knew it wasn't this easy though - he knew he would pay the price later on. As soon as that was finished, they moved onto the Chemotherapy side of the treatment which after a long, monotonous four hours, was soon done and dusted, where they were free to go home after a long, long day.
26 hours had passed since those events.
Before they had left the hospital, Doctor Rolstone had told them of what to expect now that the treatment plan had changed.
"Now the first 24 hours are very likely to be pretty similar to how you've been feeling after just receiving the Chemotherapy. You'll feel tired, nauseous and possibly a loss of appetite but I have to warn you, those symptoms, especially the nausea side of it are likely to get worse. It should pass within a few hours or so but the combination of the treatments will be having a much more intense impact on your body, especially the first time so it is important you take the tablets you were prescribed at the beginning of your treatments to help with the pain and to keep yourself hydrated. if anything feels out of the ordinary, do not hesitate to call the hospital."
With Kurt safe in his arms and Doctor Rolstones words echoing in his thoughts, Blaine knew it was only a matter of time before the worst wave of the effects came. Kurt had been sick twice since he had been home but that was nothing unusual and nothing that wasn't easily handled as it had more or less become routine for them but they both knew the worst of it was to come and now that the advised 24 hours had passed, it felt like a bomb waiting to drop. The worst of it was to come and it was only a matter of time - hours, maybe even minutes before it did.
Just over an hour and a half had passed since Blaine last looked up from his book to look at the time. It had now been 27 hours and 35 minutes - not that Blaine was clock watching or anything. Kurt was still fast asleep, his light breathing blowing against his top. He leant down, kissing the top of Kurts head as his fingers lightly skimmed through his hair. His hair was a little thinner nowadays and that always broke Blaines heart a little as he knew how much pride Kurt took in his hair but hair or no hair, Kurt would always be beautiful to Blaine. It pained him to think about Kurt being in pain but while he was asleep, nothing could hurt him. But that feeling of serenity didn't last long at all as all of a sudden, Blaine started to feel Kurts body softly shudder in his grasp. His eyes shot open, his eyes making him look like a deer caught in headlights.
"Hey" Blaine cooed but Kurt shook his head. Was this it? Something was wrong.
"Blaine. Bathroom" Kurt managed to rasp out before shuffling out from Blaines side, his legs quickly swinging over the side of the bed before running to the bathroom, Blaine quickly following behind. Blaine just about reached the doorway of their en suite bathroom before he heard the sounds of Kurt heaving relentlessly into the toilet. Blaine didn't even think twice before sinking to his knees next to his boyfriend, rubbing soothing circles into Kurts back as Kurt could do nothing but surrender his body to the process. His head was bowed deep into the bowl as upchuck after upchuck, vomit heaved its way out of his mouth. His body was physically shaking and there was nothing he could do but sit there and let it happen. A good five minutes passed before Kurts body finally found a moment of peace. He lifted his head from the toilet basin and perched his burning forehead on his arm that was swung across the toilet seat.
"That was horrible" Kurt groaned out as he tried to pace his breathing. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a familiar hand offering a small glass of water.
"Here. Try to drink some of this" Blaine whispered.
Kurt groaned in discomfort as he slightly lifted his head up off of his arm but even a simple movement as that Kurt suddenly found too tiresome. Instead he rested his head back against his arm but tilted it to the side before gratefully accepting the glass of water. He didn't even manage to swallow 3 mouthfuls before his face disappeared back into the basin as he heaved into the basin harder than ever before, the sound of vomiting echoing around the room. Before his body promptly succumbed once again, the tiniest of intervals allowed for Kurt to omit an utterly heart and gut wrenching sob that almost tore Blaines heart in two right there and then. He had never heard someone in that much agony before. Ever. It sounded worse than as if someone had just broken all of the bones in their body and to know that it was coming from Kurt, the person he wanted to protect from harm more than anything, was nothing short of torture. Blaine cooed, shushed and whispered sweet nothings in Kurts ear as Kurt unrelentingly continued to vomit, sobbing as his body shuddered underneath Blaines gasp.
"We heard crying - is everything okay?" Carole asked, concern laced in her voice as she and Burt came rushing to the doorway.
"Make it STOP!" Kurt wailed loudly as he raised his head before dropping it again, vomit spewing from his mouth. Carole too dropped to her knees, Blaine perched one side of Kurt and Carole on the other. She brushed the hair from his burning face as Blaine continued to rub a random pattern of soothing motions into Kurts back.
Burt stood in the doorway, almost frozen. Of course in Kurt's eighteen years of life and especially in the past five months, Burt had seen his son be sick but this was something else. This sight was much, much worse than anything else - something he couldn't quite describe. Burt knew that this was all part of the process; that this was the bodys way of reacting and beginning to recover but not only seeing, but hearing his son in nothing short of complete agony and knowing there was nothing he could do about it was killing Burt with every passing second he stood in the doorway, hearing the sobs escape from Kurt. As he turned his attention away from his son, for a split second, he saw Blaine wipe his free hand underneath his eyes before going back to comforting Kurt.
"Oh my god" Kurt whimpered as he rested his head on his arm that was swung over the seat. Kurt was exhausted. Physically exhausted. His breathing was heavy and audible throughout the silent room as his body heaved up and down. His eyes were clasped tightly shut as he tried to regain himself.
When had this nightmare become their life.
The afternoon had been had gone, the sun had set and evening had come. Burt and Carole were curled up together on the sofa, Carole curled into her husbands side as one of Burts arms extended across the top of the sofa, each of them clutching a cup of tea.
"Today was horrible" Carole said as she pondered over the days earlier events.
"I know" Burt softly agreed.
"You know, even in all of my years as a nurse, I mean I've seen it before but, it is so rare that I've seen someone be as in as much pain when vomiting as Kurt was today. Poor darling. I can't imagine what he must have been feeling." She softly added. Burt stayed silent. As Carole tilted her gaze upwards, the first thing she noticed was the solemn look on her husbands face, and how his gaze was transfixed but on nothing interesting.
"You okay?" She softly asked. She felt Burts body move up and down against her as he shrugged his shoulders. She brought the arm the was resting along the top of the sofa to enclose around her, stroking Burts arm in comfort. "It's going to be alright. This family is going to be alright."
"God I hope so Carole" Burt exhaled, softly shaking his head.
"It will" she assured. "Burt Hummel, if there is one thing you're not, it's a quitter. Don't start on me now. It's - hey sweetie" she said as Blaine suddenly rounded the stairs. His shoulders were slumped and he looked exhausted. Carole had a feeling that was a result of being emotionally exhausted rather than physical exhaustion.
"Hey guys" Blaine replied softly. "Would you - could you just keep an eye on Kurt for me for a while? He's asleep right now and he's had his dose of painkillers so he should be okay and - "
"Don't be silly, of course we can honey. You going anywhere special?" Carole asked.
Blaine shrugged his shoulders as he shook his head, his hands buried deep in his jacket pocket. "I just - it's been a long day you know, I just, kind of want to get some air."
"Take as much time as you need sweetie" Carole smiled. She understood exactly what Blaine needed right now.
"Thank you. Can you - just, call me, if anything - "
"We will" Carole quickly assured him as he struggled to find the words. With a small, quick wave, Blaine was out of the door. The sound of his ignition turning was just audible in the Hummel Hudson house.
"Poor kid looks exhausted" Burt stated.
"Are you surprised? He's done so much for Kurt and been there for him in more ways than possible - he's by his side, day and night. He's dealing with a lot more than most nineteen year olds have to deal with at that age and he's done it with such strength and dignity that - "
"- that everyone needs to fall apart at some point" Burt finished thoughtfully.
"Yeah" Carole agreed. "Exactly."
It had been a long, long time since Blaine had stood in front of this door and yet still, it was still so familiar. He rung the doorbell and waited for someone, anyone, to answer the door. Within seconds, he could still pick out the tiniest dent in the door. No one would ever be able to notice it but Blaine always recognised it as a reminder of the day he and Cooper had created it when playing outside one summers day; their parents never noticed it and so they never told them about it. The sound of the door being unlocked and opened brought him back from his short trip to memory lane.
"Blaine" Isabelle exclaimed, surprised but equally ecstatic to see her son. "Sweetheart it's late, what are you doing here?"
Blaines mouth quivered and tears began to pool in his eyes.
"Blaine?" Isabelle's tone completely changed as she could now tell something was wrong.
"Mum - " Blaine gasped out before completely breaking down and falling forward into his mothers body. Isabelle was startled at the sudden turn of events but instantly went into mother mode, wrapping her arms around her son and guiding him inside the warm house and out of the cold rain, whispering sweet nothings and 'shushing him in an attempt to calm her son down. By the time they reached the living room and Isabelle guided them towards the large, brown leather sofa, Blaine had gone way beyond the point of simply crying - he was hysterical. His breathing was erratic and his body shook uncontrollably in her arms as floods of tears streamed relentlessly down his red, blotchy face.
"It's okay" Isabelle whispered as she cradled her son in her arms. Clearly things were far from okay but as a mother, it was her first instinct to reassure her son that everything would be okay. Blaine however just furiously shook his head from side to side.
"Is it Kurt?" Isabelle asked gently. Blaine affirmed this by nodding his head, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as he tried to regulate his breathing.
"It's okay, you don't need to say anything. We'll just sit here for as long as you want and as long as you need okay" Isabelle said.
It took at least half an hour before the crying completely subsided and Isabelle just held Blaine the whole time, never once unwrapping her arms from around him. It had been a long time since she had seen her son this distraught over something and it absolutely tore her heart in two.
"Where's dad?" Blaine asked quietly, still sniffling softly.
"He had that meeting in New York didn't he, but his flight was delayed so he is not due back till tomorrow morning." Blaine nodded against her side. He pulled himself up out of Isabelles grasp to sit upright next to her.
"It got worse" Blaine whispered, his head bowed as his gaze was fixed on the laminated flooring beneath him. Isabelle tilted her head in confusion but quickly caught on as to what it was that could have got worse.
"Kurts cancer?" She asked and Blaine nodded. Isabelle sighed and shook her head. "I wondered if something was wrong when you didn't call yesterday but I thought, if it was bad news, than it was better for us to wait for you to tell us instead of badgering you for answers at clearly what would not have been an appropriate time." Blaine nodded in understanding.
"The Doctor said that there's been an increase in the amount of cancerous cells in his body so they recommended him to start chemoradiotherapy but if this doesn't work in time, it could go up to a stage three." Blaine turned his body to the side and brought his feet up to sit cross legged on the sofa, facing Isabelle. "You're an oncologist mum - surely a lot of your patients would have recovered from this. Please tell me that this is going to work. Tell me that everything is going to be okay. Just, please."
"Blaine - " Isabelle started. The look on her sons face, almost as if he was pleading with her, was nothing short of heartbreaking.
" - Because I can't lose him mum" Blaine carried on. "I can't do it. I just - I - I can't. I don't know what I would do if - " Blaines voice started to break as he rambled almost uncontrollably. He turned his head to the side as he clasped his eyelids together to stop the tears that had pooled in his eyes from falling.
"Blaine, honey - " Isabelle paused in her speech to reach for her sons hands, clasping both of them in her own, tears pooling in her own eyes too. " - It's going to be okay. Kurt's going to be okay. You have to hold on to that" she pleaded.
"You didn't see him today mum. It was - " Blaine broke off. "I'm so scared" he confessed quietly.
"I know honey" Isabelle nodded. "And that's completely natural. But otherwise, Kurt's a healthy boy - he'll - "
"Then why did this happen to him?" Blaine almost scoffed but Isabelle was completely unfazed. She understood how much her son must be hurting and this was the first time since Kurts diagnosis she really saw how much this was all affecting him. This was the first time she truly got to act like a mother and comfort him during this whole ordeal.
"It's okay to be angry sweetheart. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to be feeling these things. But all we can do is just hope and pray for the best. And while you're doing that, you can carry on being there for Kurt because you know, he's probably just as angry and scared as you are. He needs you just as much as you need him" Isabelle smiled at her son as he looked up at her. Suddenly her arms were filled with a heavy weight as Blaine fell into them once again. She wrapped her arms around him and as he whispered out loud his gratitude, she tightened her grasp and kissed the top of his head. It felt good to be able to provide her son with some comfort again, however much or little it helped him - it felt good to be a mum to him again.
It had only just gone 10pm when Blaine returned home, feeling a lot lighter than he had done earlier on. It wasn't exactly late but he was still cautious to be quiet in his movements as he walked up the stairs and across the landing as he knew Burt and Carole would most likely be asleep by now as Carole was on an early shift and Burt was due to open the shop at 7am.
"And where did you go gallivanting off to?" a teasing voice asked Blaine as he quietly slipped back into his and Kurts shared bedroom.
"I thought you would be asleep" Blaine said, a little surprised to see Kurt sitting upright in their bed, the bedside lamp beside him on, filling the room with an intimate light. "You were asleep when I left."
"I woke up" Kurt quipped, a smile playing on his lips. "You have full permission to call me clingy or silly but when I realised you weren't here, I don't know, I kind of just couldn't really get back to sleep" Kurt shrugged as Blaine started to cross the room from where he was still standing in the doorway. "Dad and Carole said you went out and, well I just needed to know you were okay."
Blaine gently cupped Kurts cheek in his hand softly pressing his lips to Kurts, hoping that everything he wanted to say in that moment, that he loved Kurt more than anything, that he was so thankful for him, was being poured into this one kiss. As they pulled away, the smiles on both of their faces didn't go unnoticed by the other. Blaine climbed into his side of the bed and he and Kurt lay on their sides, their heads nestled deep into their pillows. They were so close they were almost nose to nose with the other, their arms around each others waists, bringing them even closer together.
"I went to my parents" Blaine hushed out eventually. "Well it was only Mum there but - " Blaine trailed off but Kurt just simply nodded. He had a strong feeling he already understood why.
"I'm sorry if I scared you today" Kurt whispered. Blaines grasp on Kurts waist tightened just that little bit more, his thumb stroking over the patch of bare skin from where Kurts shirt had ridden upwards a little more.
"Hey no. Don't. Don't apologise for that. Ever." Blaine emphasised. "I'm sorry if I worried you by going out, I just - I needed a little space I guess."
"Well if I'm not allowed to apologise than neither are you" Kurt quipped. "You have nothing to be sorry about okay? To be honest, I was kind of preparing for some form of breakdown from you months ago. You've been so strong and supportive and composed and just beyond amazing these last few months, but everyone needs to break down at some point. There's nothing like a good cry to get things off your chest a little" Kurt smiled. "Are you okay?" He asked, his voice lowered and sounding more concerned than he already did. Blaine simply nodded, a small reassuring smile playing at his lips but Kurt saw through it. When he narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend, Blaine reluctantly changed his nod to a shrug, the small smile that was already barely there was now completely gone.
"You don't ever have to hide what you're feeling about any of this from me" Kurt assured softly.
"It's not that I was hiding" Blaine contemplated. Kurt simply narrowed his eyes at him. "Okay I guess, maybe, in a way, I kind of was. But it was only because I didn't want to worry you. You have enough to think about and I - I just needed a little time."
"Well I want to worry about you" Kurt smiled, nudging Blaines shoulder with his. "Seriously, we're in this together right? Whatever I feel, you feel and whatever you feel, I feel. You know, I know I'm the one with the cancer but this is having an effect on both of us, on all of us, but it's like, as long as we're together, we'll make it through."
"I love you so much" Blaine whispered, once again, completely in awe of his boyfriend. Kurt leant forwards, meeting Blaine in the middle for a soft kiss.
"Love you too" Kurt replied as he pulled away, settling back down onto his pillow. "While you were out I was thinking - "
"What about?" Blaine asked.
"Do you remember when you suggested making that video tape after Carole told us all she was pregnant. You know, for the baby?" Blaine nodded. "Well, I really want to do it now." Blaine eyebrows raised in acknowledgement. "I mean like, I already wanted to but yesterday really reminded me that the future isn't set in stone and anything could happen at any time. So would you be the best boyfriend to ever exist and help me with it please" Kurt asked, the biggest smile he could muster, teeth and all, spread across his face. How could Blaine refuse when Kurt looked as cute as that.
"I'd love to" Blaine replied simply.
"Yay" Kurt squealed. "Thank you. Okay I need a drink and I'm also feeling kind of hungry so - "
"It's okay, I'll go" Blaine insisted. "Orange squash and a sandwich okay?"
"Lifesaver" Kurt sighed happily. "As long as it's a - "
"Cheese and Ham one with not too much butter in it?" Blaine finished for him. As Kurt smiled and ducked his head, he knew he had his order correct. Blaine had just turned out of the doorway before he heard a "hey" coming from their bedroom.
"I love you" Kurt smiled as Blaine peered his head back round the doorway.
"Right back at you"
The sound of water running from the kitchen tap was unmistakable as Blaine reached the bottom of the stairs. As he rounded the corner and walked into the kitchen, he found Burt, dressed in his navy blue dressing gown covering his plaid pyjama bottoms and white night top, standing at the sink with a glass underneath the running faucet.
"Oh, hey bud" Burt acknowledged as he realised he was not the only person in the kitchen anymore.
"Hey. Can't sleep or something?" Blaine asked casually as he nodded towards the glass in Burts hand.
"Ah, just woke up with a bit of a cough" Burt waved it off as if it was nothing.
"I see" Blaine nodded in acknowledgement. He started to make his way around the kitchen, grabbing the various items he needed: retrieving the various items from the fridge, taking the bread from out of the bread bin and grabbing a knife from the cutlery drawer. As he started to lay everything out in front of him on the chopping board, Burt was still leaning firmly against the sink.
"You know you scared me a little earlier on kiddo" Burt started, swiftly breaking the comfortable silence between the two of them. Blaine looked directly at Burt, his hands instantly stopped their motions. "I know sometimes I can be a little dense, but I'm not blind. You looked exhausted, like, emotionally exhausted and forgive me if I'm off the mark here but, it looked as though as you were about to cry at any point" Burt said with nothing but genuine concern laced in his words. Blaine bowed his head, pursing his lips together.
"I'm sorry" Blaine sighed as he raised his head. "The last thing I wanted to do was worry you."
"Did it all get a bit too much earlier on?" Burt assumed to which Blaine nodded.
"It's weird though because, I knew. I knew it was going to have more of an intense effect on him and it's not the first time I've watched that happened and - I - "
"Blaine, it doesn't matter what you know or what you were warned or what happened in the past; You feel whatever you feel, whenever you do - there's no designated time period. I erm, I saw the tears, earlier on, when Kurt was being sick." Blaine opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out.
"You know - " Burt moved to slide into one of the stools at the breakfast bar, patting the stool next to him for Blaine to sit on. " - Sometimes I forget that you're only 19 because, it's not even that you act it, you just are more mature than your years. You're an old soul" Burt smiled. "You know most 19 years olds out there are at school or working, testing their alcohol limits -" Burt joked which elicited a soft chuckle from Blaine. " - You're dealing with something bigger than all of that, something most 19 years olds won't have to at their age -" Burt said, echoing his wife's words of wisdom from earlier on that evening. " - And you've handled it with such composure and dignity. You know, there's been many nights since this all started where even just thinking about it has had me crying myself to sleep. And that's okay. What I'm trying to say is that, it's okay to break down at times and just know that if you ever feel like that, you can always come to us. I completely understand that sometimes it's easier to talk to someone outside of the direct situation but I just hope you know that, you never have to hide anything that you're feeling from us. You never have to worry about worrying us. You're family and family sticks together. Especially through the tough times."
Blaine was speechless. Utterly speechless. As he threw his arms around the man who was basically his father in law, he hoped that everything he wanted to say but couldn't and all the gratitude he felt for having this man in his life was exuded in this one hug. However Blaine still uttered a simple "thank you", Burt patting his back in reply.
"I'll see you in the morning okay" Burt said as slid off of the stool, patting Blaines shoulder before leaving him sitting alone in the kitchen. He knew Kurt and Burt were both right. Things would always be tough but as long as they all had each other, it would be okay.
A/N - Who noticed the title then? ;)
I really hope you guys enjoyed the interaction between Blaine and his mum - i love writing them rebuilding their relationship:) And the interaction between Kurt/Blaine and Burt/Blaine
This chapter was supposed to include Kurt recording the video for his baby brother/sister but I knew that was going to take me a while and this chapter is already over 6,000 as it is (not to mention the fact that I felt so guilty about this taking so long that I really wanted to get this chapter out to you guys as soon as possible) so expect it in the opening of the next chapter, for sure!
Replies
Cold Kagome - Thanks!:)
Cody 3 - Oh wow i remember reading your review when I was on my break at Work and it made me smile so much, it still does!:) I can't believe you read the whole thing in 3 and a half hours:)
Your a great writer! I cannot wait for the next part! & you capture the emotions and relationships perfectly! Especially between Blaine & Kurt - Blaine,Kurt & Burt :3
I just have the stupidest smile on my face and i have nothing to say but thank you so much! That means so much to me:) I hope the interaction between them in this chapter didn't disappoint you:)
nomorecandles - Im so sorry babe im sure you've probably got your results back from your Citizenship (wow i hated citizenship at School -.-) and R.S GCSE's by now - how did they go!? If not, I'm sure you done amazingly!
Ahaa all was reveled in this chapter ;) don't worry though - still got a while to go!:)
gablaar -
This keeps breaking my heart and making me fall in love all at the same time.
I think thats actually one of the best compliments i could ever recieve about this. I'm so glad you're enjoying it and I can't wait to hear your opinions on where it's gonna go:)
Until next time my lovelyys:) - and it won't be 3 months i promise!(L)xx