Authors Note: This chapter is a bit shorter than normal, but it was more of a filler chapter than anything. Little conflict emotions with Sylwen. I did add lyrics into it. From Demons by Imagine Dragons. There was I Bard video I found on youtube with this song and its what inspired me to write this. But the more I listen to the song, the more I realize the lyrics are more defining to Sylwen. As if its her saying it to Bard. I put a few lines in there that I felt defined what she was feeling towards him, but note that the very last one would be more directed towards Sylwen from Bard.
Next chapter, DALE!
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I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide
"Sylwen!" Tilda's happy voice rung through the crowd, Sylwen barely gaining a chance to react as the small girl ran straight into her arms, hugging her tightly. She felt a small smile tug at her lips as she hugged her back, feeling a wave of calmness rush over her.
"I'm so glad you're okay." Another voice came, feeling another pair of arms wrap around herself as she was surprised to find Sigrid hugging her, but she melted into the hugs as she hugged both girls back.
"Of course I'm okay. Someone's got to look out for your father right?" Sylwen laughed softly, letting her eyes close for a moment as she tried to bask in the moment, struggling to push any lingering thoughts out of her mind.
"I'm just glad you two made it out of town safely." She said finally, pulling back as she gently brushed Tilda's hair out of her face.
Tilda hung onto Sylwen's hand tightly, looking up at her. "Just please don't leave us like that again." She begged her, her blue eyes staring up at her.
Sylwen felt a tug at her heart, her jaw tensing slightly before she laughed. "And where else would I go?" She asked, before kneeling down as she pinched her cheeks gently. "My home is here with you guys after all. I couldn't leave a cute little bean like yourself."
Tilda couldn't help but giggle as she wrapped her arms around Sylwen's neck, hugging her tightly. "Is it okay if I call you ma?" She asked after a moment of silence.
Sylwen's eyes widened as she stood there, holding the small child in her arms as she felt the tears build up in her eyes once again. Her gaze fluttered upwards, connecting with Bard's warm gaze as she sat there.
"Of course sweetheart." Sylwen said finally, casting her gaze downward as she hugged her tightly, letting out a choked laugh as she looked at Tilda. "I'll always be here.."
Bard couldn't help but smile softly as he watched them, feeling glad that his family was reunited once again, but he couldn't push that lingering worry out of his mind. Sylwen refused to speak of what happened in Laketown after they separated and wouldn't answer any questions about the dragon. It was almost as if she was lost in her own thoughts whenever Smaug was mentioned..
It worried him, scared him if he would go as far to say that. He didn't know what happened between Smaug and Sylwen, or what answers her memory held. It was as he feared when the dragon spoke of her.
He was loosing her..
And he couldn't find a way to bring her back from the edge..
Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don't wanna hide the truth
The next few days were rough for the survivors; Having no where to turn but to Dale, they began making the long trip up the mountain. It was at least two days walk, but with the sick and wounded they had to slow their pace.
Sylwen stared at the fire in front of her, her gaze lost in the flickering flames. The children had already fallen asleep for the night, Bard hoping to reach Dale before tomorrows nightfall. The nights began to grow colder the further up the mountain they got, and Sylwen's stomach churned at each step they took closer to that mountain.
The memories felt fresh in her mind, reminding her every waking moment of what she lost.
The prophecy of Durin's folk. It was the time the intruder came into the mountain, he had heard whisper of the prophecy and thought he could steal some of the Dragon's treasure before the greedy dwarves came back to claim it. He had mentioned it to her when she tried to stop him from going any further.
It was when she talked the stranger into leaving, did she come back to Smaug and recite the prophecy. Which sparked the fight between them that lead her to leaving. She had foolishly thought that through the years she had spent with him, he would have seen her as more than just his personal treasure.
Oh was she ever wrong. Ironically enough, when she fled the mountain whilst the dragon slept, she had been making her way around Esgaroth when she was run down by a pack of Orcs. She hadn't a clue what they had been doing in those parts, but upon realizing she didn't have anything to fight back and outnumbered, she ran.
Unfortunately, she ran in the wrong direction and straight onto a cliff. Having only moments to choose between capture, or falling into the lake. She chose the latter.
Her hands gripped her coat tightly as Sylwen recalled the ice cold water surrounding her, dragging her under the surface as the cold began to set into her body, stiffening her joints and making it harder to swim. By upon whatever miracle Eru had set for her, she had come upon a lone barrel floating in the water which she had latched onto and drifted until the water pulled her into an unconscious state.
The pain, heartbreak and betrayal she had felt towards Smaug must have all but wiped her memories of the pain, drifting into a blissful darkness that she had been certain to never wake up from.
Until Bard found her..
Feeling the weight of a blanket drop over her shoulders pulled Sylwen from her thoughts, blinking a few times she quickly came to the realization that she had been crying again. Quickly wiping her cheeks, she glanced over as Bard took a seat beside her, his gaze settling upon the fire.
"Are you going to be alright?" Bard asked suddenly, shifting his gaze to hers as he was finally able to sustain eye contact without her looking away. "Going into Dale, I mean." He added in after a moment, a small smile tugging at his lips as he lifted a hand, gently placing it on her cheek.
Sylwen almost flinched as his hand outstretched to her, but she had to quickly remind herself that there was no reason to be afraid. She, in no way, blamed him for what he did. She knew if she were in his position, she'd do the same to protect the people she loved.
Letting herself relax slightly, she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. They had hardly spoken since they left the shores of Esgaroth, Bard finding himself leading the folk of Laketown to their new destination since the Master of the Lake was now most likely laying at the bottom of the lake along with the dragon.
Her eyes snapped open at the thought, feeling the emotions begin to swell inside her again but she fought them back. "I'm sorry.." She whispered softly, trying to relax once again.
Bard felt a little normalcy seep back between the two, feeling like she was beginning to bring down whatever walls she had built up over the past couple days. "Syl." He said softly, scooting a little closer to her as he let his arm drape around her gently, tugging her into his arms. "How many times have I said-"
"I don't have to apologize." Sylwen finished for him, feeling her head fall against his chest. She listened as a quiet chuckle rumbled in his chest, followed by the soft thump thump of his heartbeat. "I know.." She said softly, feeling the weight of her eyelids begin to wear down on her.
She felt relaxed at that moment, feeling grateful for the moment of release that she knew wouldn't last. Sylwen hadn't slept much, if at all the past few nights since Laketown was attacked. Her mind far too active with thoughts to allow her to rest.
It seemed it was catching up to her though. What with the soft beat of Bard's heart against her ear, and the warmth that radiated off him, Sylwen was able fall into a quiet sleep, her mind at rest for a moment.
Bard watched as she slowly drifted off in his arms, running a hand through her hair as he smiled softly. He knew it might take awhile for her to open up to him about what happened in the mountain, and even longer to bring the light back to her eyes. But for her, it didn't matter how long it took. He swore to himself that he'd be right there for her, waiting until she found her way back to him.
It wasn't a matter of wanting her to stay at this point anymore. To Bard, he needed her. Leaning down, he gently placed a kiss on the top of her hand, letting her rest against him as the night carried on.
Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how