Authors Note: *wipes brow* I did it. Sorry if its a bit late, but I've been a bit stressed out the past week and have been in the middle of moving so I haven't had much of a chance to sit down and actually write. I was really blocking up with this chapter and I actually panicked cause I thought I was getting writers block again. Thankfully I'm not, it was just one of those in between chapters that I didn't really know what to do.
I apologize in advance(as always) if this chapter seems a little forced ;_; I was just struggling with what to do and trying to keep Sylwen in character with the whole 'mixed emotions' phase XD
As always, enjoy!
(Plus I've been going through a heavy Kili phase the past week which has been blocking up my Bard feelers but all I needed was a dose of Bard and I was good to go!)
The next morning brought on the first chill of the oncoming winter, Sylwen finding herself standing on the edge of the cliff, aways off from the rest of the townsfolk who were just beginning to wake up.
She woke up that morning, still curled up against Bard, who hadn't relinquished his grip on her once throughout the night.
Not many were conscious when she woke up, allowing herself to lay there for a few extra moments, relishing in the moment as she had realized that she and Bard had never gotten the chance to relax like this, let alone sleep together.
It was that thought process that had led her to her feet, the mixed emotions swirling in her stomach making her feel sick. She needed to tell Bard what happened. She knew that, but what could telling him honestly do?
Smaug was dead, and if given the chance, Bard would do it again. All to protect his family. She understood that, and she would never blame him for what he did. She just, needed to sort out her own feelings before she felt she could really open up to him completely.
Her mind was on repeat since they arrived on solid ground, still not wanting to believe everything that had happened.
Smaug's furious roar that echoed through the sky as the black arrow pierced his chest, the great beast falling from the sky and landing amongst the town, all but destroying it.
Shaking her head furiously, her grip tightened on her shawl that rested across her shoulders.
This was why she never wanted to remember. She had known that what lay in the remainder of her memories, would compromise her current situation. It was a selfish wish she knew, but even as she stood on the grass quietly, she couldn't help but feel glad she had remembered.
But that left her with a choice she needed to make.
The question remained though. Did she stay with Bard, as she had promised? Part of her felt as if she'd be betraying Smaug were she to stay, but she dearly wanted to stay with the man she had hopelessly fallen in love with.
Guilt washed over her at the thought of leaving. She knew it mustn't have been easy to be able to let go of his past, of his wife, and to fall in love with her.
Sylwen loved Bard. Valar did she ever..
"Syl?" The voice came from behind her.
The elven woman turned around, finding Sigrid standing behind her uncertainly.
Smiling softly, Sylwen tried to act a little less distraught as she address the girl.
"Everything's going to change now isn't it?" Sigrid asked, stepping in beside Sylwen as she gazed upon the only home she had known for 17 years, that lie in the far distance.
Sylwen looked down at her, for once seeing the young 17 year old girl, rather than the mature adult that Sigrid always acted as.
"Yeah." She replied softly, turning towards her as she pulled her into a gentle hug. "Even so, it won't matter so long as you guys have each other." Sylwen told her, feeling Sigrid return the hug as her arms wrapped around her back.
"And what about you?" Sigrid asked, looking up at her, concern flashing in her brown eyes.
Sylwen felt her chest tighten at her inquiry, her words being lost to her for a moment as she struggled to find the answer she was seeking.
"I'll be here as long as I'm wanted." She reassured Sigrid, which seemed to calm the girls nerves; and only furthering the guilt Sylwen already felt.
When Dale finally came into sight over the mountains, Sylwen felt the nausea rise further up in her stomach, her gaze falling upon the ruined city. How long had it been since she had been there? Let alone set her gaze upon it.
Bard glanced over at Sylwen, slowing slightly as he saw the uncertainty flash in her eyes, hesitating slightly. "Are you alright?" He asked, stepping in beside her as he put a hand on the small of her back.
Sylwen flinched slightly, swallowing hard. "I don't know.." She murmured, putting a hand on her stomach as she cleared her throat slightly. "I just...it's still alot to take in right now." She shook her head slightly.
Bard stopped her, stepping in front of her as he gently brushed her hair out of her face, his eyes gazing into her own. "I am truly sorry for this Sylwen.." He said softly, guilt swimming in his gut. He wished there could be another place they could go..but at this moment and time, there was none but the ruined city before them.
Bard looked down at her, watching as her gaze shift everywhere but to him. His thumb gently brushed against her cheek, silently pleading her to open up to him. There was nothing that she could say or do that would change how he felt towards her.
Shaking her head, Sylwen gazed at the city below them before finally meeting Bard's gaze. "There's no helping it." She said, lifting her hand up as she placed it on Bard's hands. "I'll be alright. I promise." She said, casting her gaze downwards before slipping from his grasp, falling back into step with the group.
Sylwen had taken refuge with Lucy for the rest of the walk, finding it harder to face Bard the closer the came to the ruined city. She still couldn't tell just why though; Perhaps it was the realization of the age gap, the awkward fact that she knew his ancestor of 60 years ago. Perhaps the nostalgia or her affections towards the dragon that plagued her still.
"You look like the dead." Lucy commented beside her friend, looking over at her as they neared the city. "No offense." She added in quickly, smiling softly. But when Sylwen didn't respond to her attempt at lightening the mood, Lucy sighed softly. "You need to talk to him." She told her.
Sylwen shook her head, gripping her shawl tightly. "I know...I just.." She stumbled with her words, trying to come up with a viable excuse to put on talking to Bard further than she already had.
"No more excuses." Lucy scolded her, stopping Sylwen for the umpteenth time as it felt to the ginger. "I don't know what happened between you and Smaug, nor am I asking you to tell me. But I can tell you now, that it doesn't matter what happened. Bard will love you no matter what." She told her. "I can see the way he looks at you, and the way he cares about you. You forget I watched from the sidelines the entire time as you two fell in love." She reminded her friend.
Sylwen shook off her hands. "It's not that!" She spoke, her voice raising ever so slightly. "I know," She choked on her words as she took a step back. "I'm not afraid of what Bard will do because I know." She swallowed hard. "It's me. It's my own feelings!"
Lucy was caught off guard as Sylwen snapped at her, startled that the soft spoken elf actually raised her voice and snapped at her. It was when the shock wore off, that the realization hit Lucy. "You were in love with Smaug.."
Sylwen's eyes widened as her breath hitched in her throat, her heart stopping as she swallowed hard. No words came to her at that time, fear flashing in her eyes, her mind running just a tad slower than Lucy it seemed. As when Sylwen turned to run as she did to Bard, Lucy grabbed her hand, stopping her from leaving.
"I'm not gonna let you go that easily." Lucy told her, gripping onto her wrist as Sylwen, at that moment, reminded her of a scared animal, seeking to find shelter from the storm. "I'm not Bard." She reminded her, keeping her in place before she smiled lightly. "On that note though, I may not be Bard but you are my best friend and nothing is going to change that either." She told her. "Whether you were in love with a dragon before or not." Her voice was hushed, avoiding anyone who might have been eavesdropping on their conversation.
Sylwen felt her stomach lurch at her words, feeling the tears burning behind her eyes as her arm became lax in Lucy's grip, standing there silently for a few moments before she dared to speak again. "I-I'm sorry.." She whispered, feeling Lucy's grip loosen on her arm. It was then Sylwen took the opportunity as she tugged her arm out of Lucy's grip and disappeared into the crowd. She couldn't talk to her about this, she couldn't talk to Bard either.
The image of the red haired elf flashed in her mind, feeling herself torn as she wished she had have stayed longer to speak to Tauriel. She felt guilty for brushing Lucy off without even trying to explain, but she felt like she wouldn't fully understand even if she did.
"As much as I was brought in here as a prisoner, after all these years, I found myself unwilling to leave. The thought of escaping became less and less enticing to me.."
Night was falling quickly upon the city of Dale, the townsfolk scattering within the city center, searching for any shelter they could find and keeping close to one another. The company of Thorin Oakenshield seemed to have survived the Dragon, leaving the mountain to the Dwarves. Sylwen had been dodging Bard all evening, and with having to take charge of the survivors (or leaving it to Alfrid, which was most certainly out of the question), Bard wasn't able to find a chance to stop and find her.
His mind was reaching out for Sylwen, when he suddenly stopped and realized that she had become this pillar of stability in his life. Something he could lean on for once. He had always been the support for his family and town, but for the first time he felt like he had something that could support him..
But even as he came to realize this, something still felt different. Something that almost felt unapproachable that laid within Sylwen...
When morning found them, Bard was finally able to take a moment to assess all the damage that had been dealt to the townsfolk. All around him were dying and suffering people, and with the limited amount of supplies they had, it was hard to tend to them all.
"Bard, we don't have enough." Percy spoke up as Bard stepped through the toppling building, glancing over at their only beacon of hope they had left.
Bard held onto the small bucket of food, glancing around as he stepped around the people. "Do what you can Percy." He told him solemnly, stepping into the next room as he placed the bucket down. "The children, wounded and the women come first." He told the group, setting the priorities for them to follow before heading up the stairs to his left. "Morning Alfrid." He greeted, though he knew full well he had been sleeping. "What news from the night watch?" He inquired, as if to further his point.
"All quiet sire." Alfrid started awake, quick to jump to his answer. "Not much to report." He held back a yawn, standing up as he went to follow Bard. "Nothing gets past me."
Bard stepped out the archway, slowing his steps before stopping completely, taking in the scene before him. "Except an army of elves.." He mused, gazing upon the golden armored elves that filled the courtyard. "It would seem.."
"Bard!" A voice reached him; The voice he had been so dearly wishing to hear all night. His head snapped to the left, Sylwen coming around the corner as she caught sight of him, shuffling over to his side.
"What's going on?" She asked in a hushed whisper, looking at the elves that stood still, frozen like a painting. She had spent the night alone, keeping to her thoughts as she tried to sort out her emotions. But when she awoke to find an army of elves scattered throughout the town, she panicked and ran to the only protection she could think of.
Bard.
"Just stay close." He told her, pulling her to his side as he stepped down the stairs, pausing as the elves all stepped to the side in unison, giving him a path to follow.
The townsfolk seemed to have caught onto the intrusion, some following into the courtyard to scope out what was going on.
The sound of hooves against stone echoed against the walls, Sylwen staying close to Bard before the sight of an Elven Elk came into sight, and on it rode the face that she'd never forget.
"My Lord Thranduil." Bard was first to speak, the question clear in his voice though.
Thranduil's gaze lingered on the ginger haired elf at the bargeman's side, icy blue eyes piercing into her before he lifted his head, glancing down the pathway. "I heard you needed aid." He spoke, and as if on cue, more of his men rode in with a cart full of food and medicine for the people.
Bard couldn't be more relieved, his shoulders dropping as he let out a choked laugh. The townsfolk gathered around the cart, taking the food and supplies as they were handed off to him. They were saved!
"You have saved us." Bard spoke to the King, shaking his head as a grateful smile tugged at his lips. "I do not know how to thank you."
"Your gratitude is misplaced. I did not come here on your behalf." Thranduil corrected him, gazing down at the woman at his side again. "I have come to reclaim something of mine.."
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