Disclaimer: I don't own The Mysterious Benedict Society
Chapter 5 (Reynie's POV)
Taking a deep breath I filled my lungs with the familiar, and pleasantly sweet musk of aged books. Outside the library the rain was falling in gentle sheets that had stopped just short of forming into snowflakes. It was my lunch hour, but I'd forgone eating for what was really weighing on my mind.
Walking between the shelves of books seemed second nature to me. Almost like being in a room filled with good friends. Because of that I shouldn't have been surprised that my wondering mind had led me here. Kate had insisted that I share something important from my past the way she had with her tightrope. But no matter how hard I seemed to think about what to share with her, nothing felt right. It had become a mystery of my own that had distracted me from any and all of my actual cases.
And it was still turning inside of me by the time lunch came. But once I stopped thinking and simply put my feet in motion the answer soon became obvious. Spotting a familiar book title, I pulled it from the shelf and gently brushed away the dust clinging to the cover.
Short of Amma herself, books had been the only pleasant thing I could remember about my life before The Mysterious Benedict Society. But it wasn't just because they were the only thing... Books and everything that filled them would have always been special to me regardless. Kate didn't quite share my fondness for long still moments spent reading, but she had always shown a respect for books nonetheless. And not only that...but a respect for my opinion and thoughts.
Even for the many dramatic differences I knew there was between us. That was something that had struck me from the beginning about her. I had always been different from everyone it seemed...and because of that I'd be teased or even outright bullied. I would come to learn however, that within the bonds of true friendship, your differences weren't simply tolerated politely, but were actually celebrated.
Making my way over to a chair tucked away in a secluded corner I carefully opened the book in my lap. As I gently took in the words my mind was filling with familiar places and persons. I'd only been a boy when I'd read this story. It had been a lonesome afternoon as so many were back then. Seymore had been curled at my feet as I lost myself and my loneliness within the pages.
Outside I could hear the sound of the other children playing, but I always did my best not to focus on it, because it only caused the lump of painful emotion in my chest to grow. But as the hours drifted by I found myself simply captivated by the lines of dialogue, and the glimpses of the people hidden just behind the printed words. To most anyone it would seem like a sad thing, and though yes, it was motivated by loneliness, it of itself was simply glorious...
Of all the pain that my childhood days held, some of my fondest hours were spent with the friends I'd come to know within the pages of a book. And if I could think of nothing else to share with Kate I wanted to somehow share that...
Looking up I turned toward the sound of gentle rain clattering against the window frame.
But how could I convey what I truly meant? How could I bring her back in time with me to see that young lonely boy I used to be? How could I share the happy part of that memory without also sharing the painful part of it? I felt myself frown in thought. I both didn't want her to have to feel sorry for me, and I also didn't want her to misunderstand the fact that I had sincerely been happy when reading this book. It truly was a bright spot even if the events surrounding it were dark.
Before I realized it I felt my grip tighten around the book spine. As my eyes watched the rain, a sudden surge of emotions began to rush and twist inside of me. It was as if I had been so intent on the past that I had actually drifted back into being that young boy. I felt a strange, but powerful kind of disbelief. How could she care enough about me to want to know my feelings?
Before I could stop them, tears brimmed and fell over my eyes in silent streams.
It felt so impossible...
Closing my eyes tightly I choked back another wave of emotion. Now the very same heart that held so many lonely memories, also held the sight of her blue eyes and the clarity of her voice. The voice that said she loved me... Nothing inside of me understood just how or why it could be possible. Not for me, no not for me...
But it was... It was...and it would always be...
Even if I found it easier to believe that the sun would sooner fail to rise. Though I realized that when I saw my own reflection... Well I knew that the image I was seeing was distorted from the way she saw me. Because no matter how unbelievable or wonderful...I simply couldn't deny that when she looked at me... When she looked at me...I saw in her eyes the reflection of just how I truly must be...
And try as I might...I couldn't deny that the person reflected in her eyes was deeply loved... Feeling my lips quiver I gave into the sob that was pushing from inside of me. The truth was that no amount of bitter memories or loneliness, could completely convince me that I was simply dreaming now.
No... Because the person I saw reflected in Kate's eyes was, in the truest sense, me...
It was the picture of me I'd never seen before...
No not until the day I met her...
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